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Doctor wont help us and my wife is so upset, please help!

(31 Posts)
LovingHusband Tue 26-Mar-13 19:15:38

My wife and I have been trying for a baby for over 12 months. We began to get concerned something is wrong so we went to see the doctors.

She came back from the doctors today after receiving her blood test for hormones and she was crying saying the doctor said everything seems fine, except for her Progesterone levels was "a little off". I feel terrible and cant see her in this much heartache.

Note: I also went to see my doctor before she got the results back and he said I could not take any tests because she has to be referred to a fertility clinic?

If anyone can help me and my wife I would be eternally grateful to you.

Many thanks,

Loving Husband

CharmingCats Tue 26-Mar-13 19:35:40


I can't offer specific advice, but can say that you have some to the right place. Thre are lots of women with lots of experience of this type of thing (sadly, in some ways). I've encouraged some thread buddies to post, hopefully they'll be along in a bit.
I'm not sure about you not being able to have tests unless your wife has been referred. That doesn't sound right to me. Could you go and see a different GP at your practice together? Perhaps someone with a better bedside manner who would actually explain about the progesterone levels and the options?
There are a couple of books that I have found very helpful:
'taking charge of your fertility' by Toni Weschler
'the impatient woman's guide to getting pregnant'

Sorry if you already have these, but I don't know how your wife has been monitoring her cycles, of at all. This can reveal some helpful information.

Best of luck. Some other ttcers will be along with more.

NatashaBee Tue 26-Mar-13 19:41:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welovegrapes Tue 26-Mar-13 19:46:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welovegrapes Tue 26-Mar-13 19:56:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MewlingQuim Tue 26-Mar-13 19:59:31

What age is your wife? I think NIHCE guidelines say if she is over 30 and you have been ttc for more than a year then she should be referred to a fertility consultant ( GP did not do this and we were not referred until I was 36 angry.

Hormone levels are dependent on the day of her menstrual cycle, so if she has irregular cycles or has miscounted her days then is could affect results. She should not panic at a single test result. Get referred and checked out properly.

Good luck op.

LovingHusband Tue 26-Mar-13 20:00:06

Hi All,

Thanks for your quick replies, I really appreciate all your posts.

CharmingCats: We have decided to go together to my doctors and see a different GP. Im hoping I can get some more information.

NatashaBee: I've been told I cannot be to the fertility clinic, until my wife is? And they said they wont test me until she is referred?

Welovegrapes: Thanks, I just want the best for her and I know she'll be a great mum...

My wife is 30 this year in June and she has been using Clearblue hormone tests for six months and she has regular periods at the same time of the month with the monitor reading the correct levels for fertility.

quietlysuggests Tue 26-Mar-13 20:02:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rhondajean Tue 26-Mar-13 20:04:26


I just stumbled upon this by chance - it took me well over a year to get pregnant ŵith my first child. I was 22 and I remember how awful it was. But for some people, it can just take longer and then happen. I was on the verge of going for medical help but I remember everyone else seemed to be pregnant or have a baby, and how slowly time seemed to pass that year and a bit. And then it was me!

With my second, it was a whole different story! Happened first try.

I just thought she might like to know that.

Good luck.

Welovegrapes Tue 26-Mar-13 20:05:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welovegrapes Tue 26-Mar-13 20:06:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LovingHusband Tue 26-Mar-13 20:07:14

Just seen the last two message.

Welovegrapes: I read this too... I need to do allot of research before I see the doctor so I am prepared.

MewlingQuim: Thanks for sharing this me, it makes me mad to hear other people experiencing this. I thought the NHS would hinder a woman from having a baby. I hope you had good news in the end. Thanks again.

Welovegrapes Tue 26-Mar-13 20:13:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LovingHusband Tue 26-Mar-13 20:15:44

quietlysuggests: Did this work, did you get the appointment? I will do anything to help, but I really do want to do it through the correct channels.

rhondajean: I really hope this is the case, its the unknown that's the problem, trying to keep it together for my wife and me.

Welovegrapes: Very interesting about the monitor, I will need to ask my wife about charting, so you would recommend this?

Thanks all again!

ImNotCute Tue 26-Mar-13 20:15:54

You've had some good advice already. I just wanted to say don't panic! I have 2 dcs but it took over a year to conceive each time.

We were waiting to see the fertility clinic then fell pregnant while waiting, it's something that seems to happen quite frequently, I know other people who conceived naturally while waiting for treatment.

Happilymarried155 Tue 26-Mar-13 20:16:56

Go and see another gp. This happened to us, gp said they would not refer us until we had been ttc for 2 years. I was so upset, went to see another gp and he refered is straight away and said we had waited long enough.

Also your gp should be able to refer you for a SA before you are refered to the fertility clinic, that way you are armed with all your results before you go. That's what we did. Good luck!

EasterBunnyGirlie Tue 26-Mar-13 20:17:51


We've been trying for a year too, I've just had blood tests at the docs and my hubby has been referred to hospital from his doctor (different surgery) for the old jizz test so perhaps ask to see another doctor?

It really is heartbreaking at times, I hope you get there in the end!

Welovegrapes Tue 26-Mar-13 20:19:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pipbin Tue 26-Mar-13 20:26:06

So good to hear that you are supportive of her.
When I was refered to the fertility clinic I was told that I had to have the referral and my husband was refered as part of my referral.
As you have been trying for over 12 months you are entitled to get a clinic appointment. She has to be refered, in this sense you are just an addition to her.

Pipbin Tue 26-Mar-13 20:28:52

That said, my DH was sent for his first SA before we were refered.

It's been 2years for us. I hope you get there before you get to that mark.

Welovegrapes Tue 26-Mar-13 20:29:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LovingHusband Tue 26-Mar-13 20:41:34

I cant believe I've had such a great response from all of you. I cant thank you enough, I am going to talk with my wife about all the advice I've got and hope we can get things moving.

I've just read up on the duo fertility machine and I am going to buy one from boots for £405. I will update you after seeing the GP, hopefully I will have some good news.

Thanks again.

LovingHusband Tue 26-Mar-13 20:43:58

Thanks Welovegrapes. You have been great!

barkingtreefrog Tue 26-Mar-13 22:11:07

Not much to add really except to say that it does differ from gp to gp. I had to wait a year (we're both over 30) and then have my blood tests done and an internal examination at the gp's and DP had his sperm analysis done before we had a joint appointment with the gp to get our referral to the fertility clinic as they needed all that information for the referral form.
Our appointment is next month and we've now been trying 16 months for #1, but getting the appointment with the fertility clinic felt like a big relief, as we might now be starting the process of getting some help.

I hope the next gp appointment is more positive for you both smile . Let us know how you get on.

Bearface Wed 27-Mar-13 16:12:01

The thing that I've found from spending many an hour some time browsing on here and Dr Google is that fertility is a mahoosive grey area and the treatment and speed with which you are referred varies so much from place to place and even from one doctor to another within the same surgery!
Welovegrapes has given you all the info you need on lifestyle changes you can make, but just thought I add my own experience.

I also had low progesterone in my first test and GP didn't explain why that might be, so I came home like your wife convinced we wouldn't be able to have children. Then, I came on here very upset and people kindly explained it could be an anovulatory cycle (meaning I didn't ovulate, hence the mess-up in my hormones) which women have from time to time but more so as they go into their 30s. I then had the test redone and all was fine. Somone has already said, but don't despair as I did after just one test (for either of you). There could be reasons for anovulation or for hormone levels fluctuating. They really should have got your wife to do another test to check, but at least you now have a referral where they do much more in depth analysis.

We are still having problems trying to conceive and are only just being referred to a fertility clinic. My own personal experience has shown that most GPs (DH and I have seen 3 for various reasons) seem to know very little about in depth fertility problems, hence the need to see a specialist, but it is getting referred in the first place which seems to be one of the big problems.

In addition to what everyone else has said, I would just add two things:

1) Learn as much as you can about fertility; knowledge about how the body works will be useful for when you are referred, so that you understand what the specialist is saying (they may not have time to go into a lot of depth with you). It may also give you more of a feeling of control because then you understand what may or may not be happening to you both. The books people have recommended are good.

2) Talk to each other about how you are feeling. It's tough TTC when it doesn't happen easily and you will need to support each other as much as possible.

Can I also just say that you are a lovely husband for coming on here and supporting your wife in this way! Very best of luck with your bext appointment. Oh, and don't give up!

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