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Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

(975 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 09:51:11

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! smile

mumalah Thu 13-Jun-13 15:42:58

Hello everyone !
Welcome confuz and linda
Congratulations tina
jbird I tried to do smep but couldn't keep up ! going to try again when we recover !
Gum what was your result when you were tested for fsh ?
I only ask as I had a blood test on cd2 two months ago, my hospital said they would write with results, but they didn't. After 2 weeks I phoned and asked, but they said they couldn't give them over the phone. Now 2 months later i have had a letter this morn saying i have reached menopause ! Devastated ! Didn't give me a result though , do you think I should ask again? Also I have read that these results can fluctuate from cycle to cycle ? I don't know what to do I daren't tell dh, he might give up altogether.
I'm sorry if I have missed anyone, I'm so gutted.

2minds Thu 13-Jun-13 16:09:37

I know exactly how you feel, confuzzledmum4. I still feel just as young as I did when I conceived ds2 11 years ago, but know my eggs are not what they were back then. I feel just like hopeful gum in that I wish I could just rewind a few years. My head is very confused right now. I would love a baby with DP but am terrified we have left it too late or eventually get there and then suffer another heartbreaking miscarriage. My last miscarriage (at 37) was a MMC (discovered at 12 week scan) & hit me a lot harder than I ever could have imagined.

Anyway, AF made an appearance today. I expected it as am sure we missed ov this month & chances are slim of success first month, but until AF arrives you still have that hope, don't you?

confuzzledmum4 Thu 13-Jun-13 17:03:51

I really wish i'd felt like this a few years ago. I also wish I didn't know as much as I do about the risks....blasted google! At the moment I have the contraceptive implant fitted, I daren't have it removed until I'm sure we're doing the right thing (because of ages, especially dh). I also worry about it becoming the main focus of my life for the next few years and as a result me failing to enjoy and be a good mum to my lovely dcs. Am i over analysing?

jass43 Thu 13-Jun-13 20:11:42

Welcome, all the new women! I hope you find this thread quite inspiring. - those who are not sure whether to start trying or not can see that there is a good chance: congratulations, Tina!
And those who suffer mc can see that this is at least common, but sometimes the sun comes out after all the tears and angst and you will make it.

That is what keeps me on track. I have accepted that it might never happen. But i keep trying, in case it does. If not trying, no chance, that is 100% clear, with trying, the probability may be 5%, but it is not zero......

I had a wtf cycle as well. Ridiculously early OV after chemical, which followed 7week loss. So this time body has decided to get a proper clean out done and am bleeding like crazy. Fine with that, it shows my body knows what it is doing and if it feels up to it, it will allow me to get this baby at one moment. Since I now know that my issue is immunology related and in principle, self-reversible, but probably not treatable, I somehow feel very calm and relieved I do no that've to run to doctors.
So, I understand hopeful when you worry about energy this ttc takes. My solution: I spend no energy, just see what plan life has for me......

2minds Thu 13-Jun-13 20:52:39

That is a good way of looking at it, jass43, and was kind of my attitude when we decided to give it a go. If it happens great, and if it doesn't so be it, we will stay as we are. Might start to consume me more as time goes on though, I guess. We have just ditched the condoms to see what happens atm so not trying too hard yet.

Confuzzledmum4 - I know what you mean about google - I have stopped looking up statistics etc as it all made me very doubtful about the whole thing. For us it has been a case of the time not being right until now. We have been together nearly 6 years but we have only just bought a house together. When we met I had recently separated from my ex & had just bought a 2 bed house. He also owned a very small house which took 2 years to sell. When we lost the baby 3 years back, it was an unplanned pregnancy. Looking back, it would have been tough having 3 children in a 2 bed house for another 2 years, as the selling of houses took a lot longer than we thought.
Now we are finally settled in a bigger house and all is ideal for us to try for a baby together...other than my age that is!

sfmomlondon Thu 13-Jun-13 21:24:02

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your kind and welcoming words. I woke up this morning and started my period (what I would schedule at 3 days early, but who knows really. I've been pretty down all day (not to mentioned cramping like mad), but am feeling much better. JBrd you mentioned the WTF cycle (I'd never heard of that) but oh so true. It actually made me giggle when I read it. That is clearly what I was experiencing. So strange. confused We will try again, and hope for the best. My hubby promised me loads of action this month. haha. When I originally went into this I felt so old. In fact, I mentioned it everytime I went in for a Dr appt. They kept saying I'm not too old, so am holding onto those words.

Irishmammybread I am so sorry you've experienced so many miscarriages, and am truly sorry your hubby wants to stop trying. I imagine it has to be very difficult for the husbands to watch us go through all of this. I know mine finds it very difficult. Hopefully, yours will change his mind. Sending good thoughts your way.

hopefulgum I am crossing my fingers for you that something really positive happens for you soon so that you can feel like your family is complete.

Thanks mozzarellamummy smile

For those of you I have missed, I apologise. I am new at this. Speaking of which, the last time I had a child was almost 19 years ago--long before there was massive activity on the world wide web. We didn't have these boards (or at least I didn't know of them), so the acronyms throw me off a bit. I can figure out some, but most are greek to me. haha. Anyone have a cheat sheet?

One day in, this site has already made me feel better. It's a lonely thing that we go through, and having people to share with makes it just a little bit easier. Thank you so much..

2minds Thu 13-Jun-13 21:41:27

Me & you both started our periods today then, sfmomlondon. I was kind of expecting mine but until it arrives there is always that hope, isn't there? Onwards & upwards hey? At least we can have ourselves a drink this weekend I guess!

My DP found the whole miscarriage thing very difficult. He didn't know how best to help me & got very frustrated. It put quite a strain on us at the time so I worry about going through it all again. Fingers crossed your dh comes round, Irishmammybread.

2minds Thu 13-Jun-13 21:45:40

sfmumoflondon - we have a bit in common. I have 2 children from my exh but my new DP (aged 42) has no children & I would love to give him a child of his own. He is fantastic with my children.
The only pregnancy I have had with him resulted in MMC picked up at 12 week scan. A really horrible experience. sad

confuzzledmum4 Thu 13-Jun-13 22:52:03

Sfmomlondon, hi there, I'm new to this thread too. There's a mumsnet acronym page that I have up at the same time as reading posts....just until I get used to them! Also, I'm wondering how young you ladies are?

confuzzledmum4 Thu 13-Jun-13 23:05:21

2minds, I really feel for our partners, I know my dh felt really helpless after my mcs although he was as actually very supportive. I worry about putting him through it again.

hopefulgum Thu 13-Jun-13 23:10:12

Good morning ladies.

mumalah, how devastating to get a letter to tell you that you are in menopause.((hugs)) How lousy that they couldn't even call you with the results so you could discuss them. Bastards angry

I had my day 2 tests done back in 2011 after my second miscarriage. It was 11, I then had it done later (but I am not sure how much later) and it was 12. 10 is considered at the high end of normal. But I really don't care for test results. They can change from month to month. I also had estrogen tested and remember my doctor calling with the results telling me there's no way I could have ovulated with my estrogen so low, but I had a 21 day progesterone test done that month too, and I actually had ovulated. So I really don't think tests can tell us everything.

Have you read Julia Indichova's book, Inconceivable? I love it. She was given an FSH level of 42 at the age of 42 and was told she wouldn't conceive, but she did. The book is very good at showing how we shouldn't listen to the "experts" and their negative prognoses.

Mumalah, I would be contacting them and asking for precise results.

I know I am not meant to be symptom spotting, and I did take progesterone for 4 days, but the level of fatigue I am feeling I have only had when I am pregnant. Perhaps the progesterone is still affecting me?

Hopefully I will get the progesterone test results soon and then I might have a clue if it is affecting me. I'm 9 DPO, so still early days...

mozzamama, I am glad all is well with the breast lump. How scary for you. I hope your rainbow baby is on board before you have to go back to that hospital.

Welcome to all the newbies smile

mumalah Fri 14-Jun-13 07:38:25

Good Morning Everyone.

Gum Thank you I will try and get exact result from them. I went on clomid for 6 months as blood tests showed I wasn't ovulating. Although I didn't conceive , I believe it did kick-start ovulation again. I have been temping the last 4 cycles and definitely had a temperature shift each one. I'm not sure how to upload my charts so someone can confirm this !
I didn't tell dp about the letter. But I have made an appointment with my gp who referred me to the hospital, and I will ask her to repeat the test. I will also ask her to test amh levels, as I have read this may be important too. I'm not feeling too bad today about the letter as my clomid journey was nothing but cock-ups at the hospital, so i don't really have much faith in them or their bloody tests. I'm on 12dpo , still cramping full biscuit biscuit but a bfn. Only tested as I'm having a girly night in which will involve wine
Too be fair we started smep earlier in my cycle, got exhausted, lapsed a bit and only dtd on o day (twice) so I really dont think its going to result in a bfp! But until af shows up I will hang in there. Thank god its Friday!

mumalah Fri 14-Jun-13 08:13:39

Ha Ha ! I've just googled fsh levels and clomid. Clomid can raise fsh levels. I was tested on cd2 after my last clomid cycle- maybe it was still in my system?

Juhannus Fri 14-Jun-13 16:24:42


Hi I'm new too and all the abbreviations had me feeling lost. Don't like too many of them.

Here's a cheat sheet for you

2minds Fri 14-Jun-13 17:40:05

I feel the same, confuzzledum4. I am 40 but will be 41 in October. I still feel 20 in my head though!!

Irishmammybread Fri 14-Jun-13 19:14:00

mumalah I was told I couldn't have amh levels tested on the NHS but I ordered a kit online and made an appointment with the nurse at the GP surgery to have the blood taken and sent it off in the post myself.Results were back in a few days,it was very quick .
It was after my first miscarriage last year and at the time I had been considering using a "Duofertility" monitor .The people at Cambridge Temperature Concepts who devised the monitor recommended I check amh levels before deciding whether the monitor would help and if I had a realistic chance of conceiving again.
My results came back as low but good for my age, though that was over 12 mths ago .
I was told amh levels will give a more accurate estimation of ovarian reserve than fsh levels.
I wonder if your fsh levels were affected by the clomid though,it would make sense.
mozzarellamum what good news about your breast lump, you must feel relieved!

Hope everyone has a good weekend x

sparklysapphire Sat 15-Jun-13 01:11:35

Tina, congratulations on your girls, I hope you're all doing ok, and I love the names.

Notsoold, yes you can relax a bit now. How lovely that you're having a boy. I decided I didn't want to know, so it will be a surprise for us.

Mumalah, what horrible news to get in a letter. Hopefully you'll be able to get some more detailed results/information from your GP/hospital.

Calibee, I can't believe you have to fund your move to NI and the army doesn't pay for it!

Hopeful, are you doing ok. Your exotic holiday seems really soon now, it sounds amazing!

Thank you to everyone who wished me luck for my exam. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared, so I should have managed to pass, I hope. I've been really tired this week, not getting enough sleep (again). Now I need to focus on getting sorted for the baby, as time is flying by.

Welcome to all the newbies, I hope you all get your BFPs soon - along with everyone else

hopefulgum Sat 15-Jun-13 05:36:55

Hi Sparkly. How many weeks are you now? How is your DH coping with it all?

Thanks for asking after me. To be perfectly honest I am not really feeling very happy about all this ttc stuff. I am now 10 dpo, riddled with symptoms (just as I seem to be month after month, but can't seem to put it down to a tww thing rather than a hopefully-I-conceived thing) and got a clear BFN this morning. I know it is early to test, but in the past I have always had a faint + by now. It doesn't help that my head is aching and I don't feel 100% and haven't for some a few weeks. I feel a bit down about still ttc after 4 years.

I think the tropical holiday is just what I need. So once the stress of getting the family organised for the trip is sorted I intend to relax.

I am going to have a nanna nap in the hope my headache disappears. We have friends coming for dinner tonight and the house is less than presentable and the food unprepared shock

VortexOfDisaster Sat 15-Jun-13 08:22:01

Hi all,

Just popping in to say hello and wishing everyone on 2ww lots of luck.

I really empathise with everyone who has expressed frustration at not feeling old enough to be worrying about whether we are still ovulating. And then, the tragedy of miscarriage is so much more common... As soon as you think you've caught a good egg, the wallop of losing it is palpable. It is harsh that this seems to be the case when people are living longer, healthier lives.

Not much happening here as DH was away a lot this month. I am focusing on next month already. I am thinking of ordering ovulation predictor kits etc. Anyone got recommendations for this?

littlepinkfizz Sat 15-Jun-13 10:45:41

This thread has been busy! Have just scanned through very briefly so first of all huge congratulations to tina on the birth of her beautiful girls! grin

Welcome to all the newcomers! Lots joining our thread!

Hope you get moved to N.I. Soon calibee and conceive your little one x

sparkly good luck in your exam!

gum I think you really need this holiday to destress and enjoy life again. You are always so positive but life gets on top of us and a lovely holiday will help sort that out.

Hope you're ok irish

Waves to everyone else I've missed out.

We tries the SMEP this month. AF due tues or Wednesday and not poas before that as I just get distressed by it all. Feel just as normal for this stage in my cycle except for extra moodiness and tiredness. Unfortunately I am probably tired because DP is very restless in bed and been keeping me awake and this is making me a but irritable too!

We'll wait and see?

Good news... DP is DP no more..... We got engaged this week! So happy! No wedding planned yet but it will be a low key event but with lots of music!

Have a great w\e xxx

JBrd Sat 15-Jun-13 12:07:22

Congrats, littlepink, that is lovely news flowersflowersflowers

I think that it is really important to focus on other, happy things - life does go on, after all! It is so easy to get completely wrapped up in ttc and forget about everything else... There is more to life than this!

Easier said than done, though confused

2minds Sat 15-Jun-13 13:14:33

Wow, congratulations, littlepink - that is fantastic news. smile

Irishmammybread Sat 15-Jun-13 15:19:43

Congratulations littlepink ,lovely news!

notsoold Sat 15-Jun-13 16:22:28

Littlepink...celebrations with lots of music sounds wonderful and right up my street!!

Have a good Saturday everyone and
Gum I hope you feel better soon xxxx

hopefulgum Sun 16-Jun-13 00:41:29

congratulations Littlepink. That is lovely news.

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