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Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

(975 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 09:51:11

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! smile

calendargal Fri 08-Mar-13 10:53:37

Still a bit of pinkish spotting here - so far just on wiping, it seems. Jbrd, I am 49 days / 7 weeks today. My second pregnancy ended at 48 days and the end started like this, so that's why I'm not holding out much hope. gum, I know spotting does happen in successful pregnancies, but it didn't happen in my one successful one, and it did in my two unsuccessful ones... I suspect I have a problem carrying (never any problem conceiving, so far) although obviously that's a hunch. It's just a waiting game though. I haven't booked in with a mw - I don't think they give you an appt until 8 wks (at least that's my experience). I'm not actually registered with a GP atm confused so not sure what to do. I suppose I'll just wait it out.

Hope everyone else is OK - thoughts esp with remnant, sparkly, isabeller

greenlizard Fri 08-Mar-13 11:48:35

Fingers crossed for you calendergal I hope it works out for you.

Do you think you should at least register at a GP's anyway and make an appointment to discuss your situation?

I have no personal knowledge of pregnancy but I think every one is likely to be different so it doesn't necessary figure it will end the way your last one did.

Take care. x

sparklysapphire Fri 08-Mar-13 11:54:15

Calendargal, I very much hope the spotting is not a problem. I had some at 11 weeks, and thought it was the beginning of the end, but luckily not. Can you get yourself to your local EPU, will they see you without an appointment - I think some do? If not go and register immediately with a GP and get referred. Please do get checked out. Lecture over, sorry.

And diege, I hope your spotting too is not a sign of anything to worry about. You were very reassuring when I posted about mine, so hopefully you're ok. Sorry you've been feeling so rotten though, I hope the sickness can be brought under control.

Notsoold, fantastic news!

Gum, thank you for the new thread, I hope it brings stick BFPs to everyone.

Calibee & JBrd, very reassuring to have helpful visits to your GPs, and morien, I hope your gynae visit next week will provide you with some answers.

Isabeller, how are you? I hope you have your scan and get good news soon.

Good luck for this cycle drwho, and I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety.

Not much to report here, finished night shifts yesterday so haven't seen much of DH, but no change in our situation, and he's being very distant. I slept really badly last night, partly as a result of the nights, but also the worry I think was keeping me away. But physically I feel fine, so that's a positive.

Hi the newbies and returners, and to everyone I haven't mentioned, and have a lovely weekend, even if the UK weather is going to be really miserable.

isadorable Fri 08-Mar-13 12:21:31

Hi all - just marking my place really. Sending big congrats to notsoold and hugs to those with spotting. We moved house, are still in terrible chaos in two places and the little one has been ill. AF is late - which has to be the stress as I've had two BFNs. I have no idea how many days late though I think it is on its way today. I will be back once things calm down and want to participate more than ever! Bring on CD1

DoctorWhoFan Fri 08-Mar-13 12:37:43

I WAS going to say good morning...but just in time realised that the day had sped ahead of me!

Thanks for the kind words re the anxiety ladies. It's a pain in the butt! But a friend of my SIL who cuts our hair came round to do said job last night and said that she'll take me to the doctors if I just give her a bit of notice. What a sweetheart! She also made it quite clear that I should call her anytime for a chat, or she could just come by for a cuppa to give me a bit of company as she quite often works in the local area. She's a lovely girl, so I'm really touched by her offer and will take her up on it.

Hope the spotting is easing off Calendargal and that you're feeling a bit more relaxed.

Hey Sparkly! Sorry to hear things still haven't improved at home, but you know we're always here for you x

My you are a busy bunny aren't you JBrd?! Lots going on! Very exciting for you though.

Any news Is?

Blimey Isadorable you've had a LOT going on!!! Nice to see you back though.

Sorry to all those I've not name checked.

Period still hanging on a bit, which is actually reassuring, because the last few months it has only been 3 days whereas I used to be a 7-day bleed kinda gal, so I was afraid that perimenopause was starting. But this month it's lasting longer and a proper bleed whereas last month was a bit on the pathetic side! Weird to be glad that you're bleeding a bit more, eh? Still, it does give me a bit more hope on the hormone side.

I'm wondering if this is due to the amount of vitamins and minerals I take and the humunguous amount of veggies etc that we eat now that I have my own place and a lovely big kitchen to cook in. I can't help thinking that maybe it's settling my cycle down back to "normal" (whatever that is). Moving on from that obviously that is making me feel hopeful that I may get my BFP!

My hairdresser friend was saying last night that she thinks I'll get pregnant cos I don't look my age. Chronologically though, everything is still against me getting my BFP. Aaaaaaargh! Every month, I stress myself into a big ball of stressedness...I'm so rubbish! grin

Eek, that's a bit long, sorry! blush

Diege Fri 08-Mar-13 13:02:37

Hi! Sorry to hear you're worrying calendargirl sad. I too had more spotting today (pink) after a day off yesterday. I alternate between making a gp appoint' and just wait and see-ing. Tbh I cannot physically fir in the drs next week (obvious is urgent I would) but as I can't effect the outcome, I think I'll just wait it out and see gp week on Monday, hopefully getting a scan the next day. I'll be 8 wks then too so any scan should be pretty conclusive. I don't feel panicky oddly - maybe because I feel so sick, plus did another test and test line up within seconds, before control line, and a lot darker too. Have had this sort of spotting in successful pregnancy and mc, though did not have sickness with mc, so we'll see.
drwhofan your haridresser sounds great; how lovely to have someone you can call on.
sparkly you poor thing with dh - did you brother have any advice btw or doesn't he know about the situation?
Hi greenlizard,*isadorable*, hoping things are ok with you? x
Sorry not to name check more, struggling with anything involving concentration at the moment I'm afraid blush.

isadorable Fri 08-Mar-13 13:55:06

I can understand you having no time Diege and if you feel calm, as you know it cant change anything, your plan sounds a wise one.

Thanks DrWho - normally my DP and creche look after DD - creche on half-term and DP one week into new full-time job. She's had a really nasty bug and is better at home - normally I work from home so I've had to take time off. I think I'm suffering PMT - feel really bleurgh. why is it always so much worse when AF is late?? Nice for you to have someone understanding around.

notsoold Fri 08-Mar-13 15:51:21

Hi everybody here!!!
Sparkly I saw your post on the pther thread and here and I just want to send you love thorough the webspace…
When I was pg with my dd I was in another relationship ( not my lovely and excentric messy dh) and throughout the 9 months I stressed a great deal, as dp wanted me to have a termination and was very vocal about how I was destroying our relationship and his future.... I am aware it does not compare to your problems aa you already have a dc. But it resonates with me how difficult it must be for you. I truly admire your strength of character and fortitude and I am sure this lo will bring you joy in the end.
Your wisdom in trying to tackle MIL in the best possible way is commendable, but I just wanted to raise a thought for you....take care of you babe, look after yourself ( as I am sure you are doing) and find a valve of escape to release the stress and tension you are carrying. And allow all the range of emotions that one goes through when pregnant including the joy of bringing a loved little baba to the world...
I apologise if I spoke out of turn.

Ps...dd is a striking young woman and very fierce and fiery

Isabeller Fri 08-Mar-13 20:50:18

Hi there smile I've been up to my ears in visitors and only skimmed a catch up - good to see lots of helpful GPs around.

I have my scan date - next Tuesday - really pleased but little fronds of worry are starting to appear. I've got some work to bury myself in though so i will try to do that with extra concentration so as not to go too mad.

CaliBee Sat 09-Mar-13 21:46:11

Just a very quick check in before i head off tomorrow. Wishing you all the best for your scan tomorrow Isabeller. I hpe the news is good. X

hopefulgum Sat 09-Mar-13 23:30:21

Morning All. Calibee are you off on your holiday? That seems to have come around very quickly. Have a wonderful time (I know you will!). Will the timing be right for conception?? grin

How is everyone else?

Deige, I hope the spotting has resolved, and I glad that you feel okay about it. I think you are right to be confident. You have plenty of experience with pregnancies, I am sure all will be well, but don't hesitate to go to the EPU if you are worried. It sounds like you are incredibly busy, which must be so hard whilst feeling sick. Do you get much support from your family or DH's family?

Drwhofan, great to hear that you are experiencing a healthy cycle. I have worried for a while about my lighter flow over the years. I used to be a 7 day girl until my forties. Before I had DS at 41, I was having 4 or 5 days of bleeding, but since he was born my period is about 3 or 4 days. I have worried that it is causing implantation problems, but I have conceived three times and although they all miscarried I am sure it was due to chromosomal abnormality (it definitely was for the first miscarriage, I don't have results for the other two). I remember we had a member on this thread a while back, called beattiebow and she worried about having a thin lining because her periods were light and short, but she was being monitored and the doctors said her lining was fine and she did end up having a healthy pregnancy and baby. So I console myself with that, but do worry sometimes that it indicates that my hormone levels aren't great.

I try really hard with my diet and supplements. I eat mainly veggies, protein and healthy fats.

Did you hear about the research done that has revealed that a lack of vitamin D is related to children having allergies? I wish I had known about it when I was pregnant with my last two. They both have eczema. A lack of vitamin D will also cause problems with conceiving. So, get it checked if you can. I am taking a daily dose of fermented cod liver oil (sounds nasty doesn't it, but I take capsules) because it is high in vitamins A,D and E. All really important for conception.I am going to try to drink more red clover and nettle tea this month - it is supposed to be very good for boosting the womb lining. But you do have to drink a lot of it hmm. I am taking the red clover isoflavones like clomid again this month too. I still don't feel comfortable taking the clomid. It is sitting in my cupboard, but I don't feel tempted yet.

isadorable, it sounds like it has been a crazy busy time for you. Have you moved to a nicer place? I'd love to hear about it. I hope your LO is feeling better. Do you mind me asking what your job is? [nosy emoticon] I am always interested to hear about which jobs allow people to work from home. It isn't really possible as a high school teacher!

Isabeller, thinking of you, hoping the time passes quickly before your scan.((hugs))

It is Sunday here and I am planning on doing a bit of decluttering so that the working week isn't as stressful whilst everyone is madly looking for bits and pieces. I find that sort of thing so stressful (control freak, moi??). I have a huge pile of clothing to list on Ebay. Hoping to put a bit extra into the bank for our holiday in July. smile

Have a happy Sunday.

calendargal Sun 10-Mar-13 11:06:10

Are you off on your hols, CaliBee? Have a great time smile

Looks like it is all over for me. Spotting has now turned red with a couple of tiny clots. Physically I feel OK at the moment but have a slight feeling of dread for the coming week - having previously had a mc at exactly this stage I know the pain is very manageable BUT DH is away for four nights this week and I am wondering how to get through it without freaking out 2yo DD. I remember a lot of lying on the floor/bed rolling and groaning...

I don't think I'm going to bother with the GP etc unless anything untoward happens. There's nothing they can do. That probably sounds a bit negative, but based on experience. Also am due to move house again in a couple of weeks so could do without the faff.

Diege, I hope your positive symptoms are ongoing (not actually wishing you sick but ykwim) and that the spotting has stopped. If you are prone to spotting in pregnancy then I agree it's not necessarily cause for alarm.

sparkly, I really do feel for you. I can hardly imagine how horrible and stressful things must be, at a time when they should be joyful. Obviously your DH is being TOTALLY unreasonable asking you to terminate. And as for you not 'compromising' - unfortunately this is one of those situations where there is no compromise - one person just doesn't get what they want (and in this case obviously it will have to be your DH). How far along are you now, btw?

Hi to everyone else. There is another thread in Active convos today about a 45 year old who just had a surprise BFP - I know some of you have seen it smile

JBrd Sun 10-Mar-13 11:49:16

Oh, calendargal sad I so hope you'll get through this, one way or the other. Have you spoken to EPU at all? They might get you in to check you over and possibly do an early scan (not sure how far along you are).
<<Sending un-MN hugs>>

hopefulgum Sun 10-Mar-13 12:08:52

Calendargirl, so sorry to hear this. I do understand how you feel. When my second miscarriage started at around the same time as the first, in the same way, I just knew. I really hope it isn't the case for you, but you have my sympathy. I wish it could be different. Would it help to have a scan, or do you feel it is pointless? Although I do understand that feeling of it all being familiar, there is a chance that the outcome might be different for you this time, perhaps a scan could tell you either way?

Is there any way your Dh could avoid going away this week?

sparklysapphire Sun 10-Mar-13 13:31:37

Notsoold, thank you for your lovely message, it was really kind and much appreciated. I hope everything is progressing as it should.

Calendargal, I'm so sorry you think you're miscarrying, I hope it sorts itself out quickly, whichever way it goes. I still think a scan would be worth it, but completely understand that you may feel differently.

Diege, how are you? The sickness sounds hideous but you seem confident things are ok, despite the spotting - I hope it's cleared up.

Calibee, I hope you're both having a lovely time in London, and can just relax and enjoy it.

Isadorable, I hope the move went ok, but moving always produces some chaos (lots in my case), so hopefully you're more organised than me getting stuff sorted!

Isabeller, it's good that you can distract yourself before your scan, fingers crossed it will be ok.

I think vit D is now recommended along with folic acid, certainly when you're pregnant and maybe when you're TTC as well in the UK, gum. I think most conception/pregnancy supplements have the required amount - but I could be wrong, and it certainly wasn't the case when I was pregnant with DD.

I'm nearly 16 weeks now. When I spoke to my DB last week, and told him DH doesn't want to know, his response was "oh no, not again". He's had a very busy work week so I haven't been able to chat to him again, but he's been texting all week telling me not to try not to worry, and is hoping to talk to DH over beers soon, though given our schedules this looks to be at least a month away.

DD is currently snoozing after a very late night at a wedding reception last night so I'm taking advantage MNing, though should be sorting & unpacking!

Isabeller Sun 10-Mar-13 18:54:36

(((hugs))) to calendargal and hope you're feeling better Diege. Thank you Calibee and everyone for the good wishes, I am having a few moments of worry and didn't sleep too well last night but the plan to concentrate on work has helped.

Good luck with getting your new home in order Isadorable I am hoping it won't take me longer than five years which means I'm halfway now.

Waving to everyone smile

isadorable Mon 11-Mar-13 07:17:35

Thanks for all the lovely messages - glad to know I am not alone in taking ages to get organised after a move! We spent all day yesterday cleaning the old flat - we've moved into a house with more space and a garden outside town... I wonder how long it is going to be before we've filled all this extra space?! Saturday was a wasted day as I lost our cat - took me hours to discover him stuck underneath the bathroom sink cupboard! I didn't even realise there was a hole there - how did he find it? Every time I tried to drag him out ( which was practically impossible) he just purred and moved further in. My fil came to help but couldn't get to him or get cupboard apart. In the end dp came home and forced the back board off, leaving us just enough space to drag out a very dirty, rumpled cat. He then behaved as though it never happened of course...

In response to gum I am a corporate writer for a company magazine and website. It is an interesting and flexible job but I need to dedicate myself a bit more to it this week if possible!

calendargirl I hope you're doing ok. A hug from me.

isabeller extending you a virtual hand to hold for your scan.

not so old diege - hope you're doing ok and sparkly - I admire your perseverance - hope your bro can help you.

Good luck jbrd and hope you're having fun cali

Still no AF here. So unlike me but this has been an exceptionally difficult move. ( A cock-up meant we had no electricity for five days and were stuck in mil's spare room!) Never thought I'd want it to arrive so desperately!

Hi to everyone I've missed!

JBrd Mon 11-Mar-13 13:17:48

CaliBee Have a wonderful time in London, hope it won't be too cold! We're having a blizzard here at the moment, and it is freezing!

calendargal How are you?!?

sparkly Your DB sounds really lovely, glad you are getting some support! Fingers crossed he can talk some sense into your DH.

isabeller lol at your cat - they are such funny creatures, aren't they. Hope you are managing to de-stress a bit! And who knows, maybe it's not just the stress that's making your AF late....wink

DS has given me his conjunctivitis, lovely. Only that mine doesn't get better with the over the counter eye drops, but worse. Off to the docs again this afternoon angry

So, I am obsessing over my FF charts again. 9DPO/CD23, FF predicts AF for tomorrow, but I think it'll be more like Friday/Saturday (am ignoring the fact that my cycles seem to have become shorter after having DS).
My temp is still staying high... The 'Intercourse Timing Analyser has award me a 'Good' for dtd before, on and after ov day...And the FF pregnancy sign calculator is giving me a score of 37/100... I know that that's not accurate at all, but I am finding myself being tempted to hope... Could it be possible...?
Well, I have ordered a couple of FR tests, never used them before, but the CB Digital ones are sooooo expensive.

Really trying not to get my hopes up, but not managing very well...confused

calendargal Mon 11-Mar-13 21:47:10

Thanks for your kind words, ladies. I am definitely miscarrying, so a scan would be pointless at this stage. Yesterday the spotting changed to a light bleed (red). Same today and FF has put me back to CD2... Temps on a downward trajectory and my symptoms (such as they were - tiredness and sore nipples when bf) have gone. I feel physically fine at the moment, if rather numb.

DH can't escape working away - he may be able to come back for an overnight on Thurs, depending how it's going. I could call on MIL but can't stand the old trout blush so don't want to tell her or have her around. Just waiting it out now.

greenlizard Mon 11-Mar-13 22:11:46

So, so sorry calendergal. I hope it resolves naturally and quickly for you and DH can come home.


hopefulgum Mon 11-Mar-13 23:01:48

Oh calendargirl, I am so sorry. I know there isn't anything I can say that will help. I only hope it happens quickly for you. TTC in our 40's is just so bloody hard,isn't it?

Jbrd, when will you test? Or will you have a will of steel and wait til AF is late? I sometimes wish I could just forget that I am ttc and then one day notice that I haven't had AF for a while and -ta-dah- I'm 11 weeks pregnant. wouldn't that be lovely? But so, so unlikely when I know every little nuance going on in my body confused

Today I got a waking temperature of 36.08. I have never, ever in 5 years of temping had one that low. Does it mean something?? Am I half-dead?grin It was a relatively cold night here last night, but I was warm enough tucked up in bed. Weird.

Anyway, I'm CD8, so probably a few more days til I O, but might just do an opk tonight in case it is a pre-O dip...

Love to all. I hope everyone is well.(Apart from the conjunctivitis, Jbrd - yuck. One year my DH got it and also reacted badly to the drops. He had red eyes for the entire time we were on a weeks trip in Melbourne, poor love...)

greenlizard Tue 12-Mar-13 07:54:51

Morning All

hopeful I am also on CD08 and just got a high on my CBFM after two lows (hoping the machine will be more illuminating this month!) so I look set for an earlyish ovulation. My ovulation date seems to jump around a bit but I O'd on C13 last month so maybe the same again. What day do you usually ovulate? I will use OPK's this month as well just to make sure I don't miss it while I get used to it. What are your normal pre-ovulation temps like and do you always take your temp at the same time?

jbrd as your official cheerleader, I will give you an particularly acrobatic twirl on your potential bfp - wouldn't that just be brilliant grin. Fingers crossed - are you going to wait it out until your FRERs turn up in the post?!
(Sorry about the eyes - conjunctivitis is nasty!)

Calibee hope you are having a brilliant time in London (and you are warm enough - it is freeeeezing here at the moment - but maybe you are wrapped up in bed wink

<<waves to everyone else>> hope you are all doing OK?

isadorable Tue 12-Mar-13 09:12:41

Fingers firmly crossed for you JBrd! AFM I've tested twice so certain I'm not preg, just late; still late and fed up with this now.

Calendargirl take care of yourself - hope your DH can make it home soon. I hope you're feeling as OK as you can in the circumstances.

Slowly getting life back to normal - no idea what CD this should have been now. I am contemplating going to see doc as this is so not like me.
Hope everyone else doing well?

CaliBee Tue 12-Mar-13 09:52:19

Just a quick hello from me. So sad to see the news calendergal ....we certainly have more than our fair share of mc's on here.
Trip is fantastic so far but bladdy freezing...i mean really really cold. I do spy some sunshine through the curtains this morning though. We are off to Camden later today and maybe the zoo if its not too cold.
.....oh and he got down on one knee yesterday. Its officiak we are engaged :D

JBrd Tue 12-Mar-13 11:30:54

calendargal So sorry that you're in this awful situation, and that your DH can't be with you. Don't call on MIL if you don't get on with her, it's the last thing you want at this point! Any other family or friends, who could hold you hand until DH comes back?

hopeful and green The tests arrived today, but I will steel myself and try not to test before Saturday
<<goes and finds halo for polishing>>
I have so much going this week that I'd much rather not have the extra stress of trying to see a line when there isn't one... By Saturday (which will be CD28), it should be much more definite, whatever the outcome. Somehow I find that the arrival of AF is easier to take than a BFN (I know it's stupid and irrational).

Cali I recommend the London museums (if that's your thing), they are free and warm. Camden is great, are you going to the market? Lots of good restaurants and cafes around there for warming up smile. I cannot believe how cold it is, all my flowers in the garden are surely going to die.

So this week will be busybusybusy, too! But in a much more positive way than last week. I'm making a birthday cake for a friend's 30th, which is what I love doing.
And I've just found out that I have been invited for an interview for the job I applied to before going on holiday, iieek! Very pleased with that, I had to do an assessment exercise for them, which was bloody hard (hence the mega-stressful last week), at least the effort has paid off.

<<blatantly ignores that should this job (or another) work out, being pregnany would be the worst possible timing>> confused

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