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Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

(975 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 09:51:11

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! smile

mozzarellamummy Wed 01-May-13 15:44:18

green can you tell me if you had any symptoms before testing?

Morien Wed 01-May-13 20:18:42

It's been a public holiday here and the weather's been lovely so I've been out in the garden all day - hopeful and green, I'm with you entirely. Pottering around in the garden makes me feel so peaceful. Actually, green, I was just saying to DP that I don't understand how on days like today everything seems to move at a wonderful snail's pace...yet the day whizzes by. Today I've been planting out all the seedlings I've been growing for my new herb patch, and DP was a few metres away cleaning out the pond. We hardly spoke to each other other than over lunch and whenever one of us decided it was time to sit in the deckchairs for a while, but before he went out to tennis just now we both said we'd had a lovely day doing things together!

hopeful you'd be so disappointed by the reality of my glamorous job! It's true that it's taken me to some amazing places, but I don't travel half as much as I used to, for which I'm grateful - I just want to stay at home these days (and anyway, even when I did travel more, most of it was not to amazing places!) I'm an interpreter (think Nicole Kidman in The Interpreter, remove lots of preposterous nonsense, and that's me...apart from the fact that I'm about half her height and all the rest grin )

green you asked how I feel about the IUI cycle...I don't feel anything at the moment, is the honest answer. I have the prescriptions and the forms on DP's desk, but I think it's going to be a couple of months till we can do it, for reasons of timing - and whilst that upset me for a while, I'm fine with it now. We'll just carry on as we were for now. As for DTD with my travelling, I'm not worrying about that either. Nothing I can do. I think if I didn't have the prospect of the IUI I'd be in a state about it, but the IUI allows me to relax, somehow. Life's really good at the moment, and I just want to enjoy it. I've kind of taken a step back recently and realised just how much I've been stressing about ttc since my MC, and I just want to enjoy life for a while (as I say, that's made possible by the IUI carrot being dangled before me).

Off to pack for my next trip - packing's definitely not glamorous!

CaliBee Wed 01-May-13 21:41:01

Hi to all...just a quick fly by on the old broomstick.
Af caught up with me, no surprise, but still stupidly disappointing, also a little worrying that a month today I get married...I do hope the old bag doesnt turn up for me then. Bitch!!!!!
So its onto my fourth round of clomid...hey ho.

Isabeller Thu 02-May-13 17:33:33

Waving to everyone smile

My concentration is rubbish at the moment and I know I'm feeling quite stressed by the treatment and other events of recent months hence lurking rather than posting. I am always thinking positive thoughts when I read your posts. I'm heading towards my frozen embryo transfer and feeling rather wound up but I'm sure this will pass, either that or I'll look back at now as being an oasis of calm I didn't fully appreciate grin

greenlizard Thu 02-May-13 21:00:45

isabeller wishing you peace and serenity during your treatment. Hope you can relax a little but if it makes you feel any better i have read a link somewhere that said being stressed doesn't affect fertility (unless severe and prolonged). So hope being stressed is one less thing to be stressed about! smile

mozzerellamummy my "symptoms" -
A) I had developed cold symptoms about 6DPO....didn't really feel unwell but had congested nose b) my nipples were very erect (and still are - ridiculous!) and c) I couldn't sleep past 5.30 in the morning - which is unheard of me grin

calibee boo to AF. Everything crossed for this month - how perfect would it be if you made a wedding baby.

morien glad your are feeling less pressure and life is good for you and DP. You know that you can conceive so maybe you just need a helping nudge along the way. Good luck and enjoy your trip.


hopefulgum Sat 04-May-13 00:37:23

Hello everyone. I just logged on to Mumsnet, and I couldn't get straight to this thread because I haven't posted for a few days! Unheard of. So I thought I'd best mark my place.

Nothing new happening here. I've had a lovely relaxed week where I've not done much other than the cryptic crossword, afternoon naps, daytime TV (Luxury!!), and a bit of baking. It was DD's 13th birthday yesterday, so I made white chocolate and raspberry cupcakes, decorated with pink icing, rosebuds and butterflies - totally girlie and gorgeous, perfect for my DD.

I've got friends coming for dinner tonight, so I will have to tidy up, pick up fresh vegies at the markets, meet a mate for a cuppa, and do a slow cooked greek lamb - yum. I made an upsidedown pear cake yesterday for dessert.

As for ttc, I'm only CD 10, but I am planning to get laid over the next few days, as much as possible.

I hope everyone is well.
Deige - still waiting for an update, I do hope all is well.

Isabeller, are you able to go and have a massage or treatment to help you relax? I am sure stress won't make any difference to your chances of conceiving, but for you, it would be nice to relax a bit. I had acupuncture on Thursday morning, and it was wonderful. I keep hoping it is the key to getting my THB at this old age, but I've been doing it since 2007 and although I had my DS in 2008, I've had no luck since (except losses). So although I don't think acupuncture is the answer, the treatments do seem to help me relax and help me feel healthy most of the time.

Calibee, I am sorry about AF. Are you taking the clomid again? I keep thinking about taking it too, but I have so little fertile mucus, and light periods, so I worry it will dry up the little mucus I have and make my lining too thin. I sometimes wish I could go to a fertility clinic and have the drugs and the monitoring, but it really is too hard when a) my DH wouldn't support it, b) I can't afford it, c) they would send me away with my super low AMH and old age and d0 the nearest clinic is a 5 hour drive away. So for me, it's either take the clomid and hope for the best, or don't take it and hope for the best confused

Morien, if you are an interpreter, that must mean you speak different languages? Which ones? I so admire anyone who is multi-lingual. I am a dismal failure at it. I tried all my life to learn Italian and much to my father's disgust, I still can't speak it. I tried at Uni, then again later at a community college. My dad is Italian, but my mother isn't and I grew up speaking English. I wish they'd spoken Italian in the home.

Well, I had better go and make some breakfast, and get on with my busy day.
Babydust, good vibes and happiness all round thanks

jass43 Sat 04-May-13 09:32:57

Hopeful, you said you still do not speak Italian to your dad's disgust - I feel it's the other way round really. If anyone then you should be disgusted he missed the opportunity to simply talk to you in Italian when you were small. My smallest is in the garderie which speaks French to kids one week and english another week. I was doubtful about it but the place is friendly and close to my workplace, so went for it. Now the child is 4 he is fluently trilingual. And I feel like every child should have the chance to go to garderie and learn another language. It comes so simply at young age. My 8yo is in French section at the school, and I can only look on and admire when he writes this tricky language and gets all the e-s capped with right marks. I. Can. Not. I learned French in my thirties and only use it in everyday life, hence weak writing skills.

Diege Sat 04-May-13 21:38:47

Just a quick check-in - have been laid low with sinusitis, something I only get when pregnant. I haven't been near a computer for days so have only had a quick skim through and so happy for green grin flowers. Will try and catch up tomorrow and post more. Love to all xxx

hopefulgum Sun 05-May-13 11:21:57

Hi Deige, good to hear from you. I am sorry to hear that sinusitis is making you unwell. You poor thing, how horrible, especially with hyperemesis too. How is the sickness? Will it subside for you? You are in the second trimester now aren't you? I can't believe how quickly that has happened.

I had friends over for dinner last night, so yesterday was particularly busy. I got the house spick and span, thank goodness, and cooked a reasonably yummy dinner, though not my best. Everyone seemed happysmile

Today I have been taking it easy, DH was out all day playing golf (how is it that a game can take soooo long? I think it is the 19th hole, in the clubhouse that takes so bloody long!). I am a bit cross with him, because he got home at 5 and has been sat in front of the football since he got back. I'm feeling a bit neglected and I know I should have SWI tonight, but don't feel very amorous toward him angry

I'll probably just have to fake it as I still really do want a shot at a baby sad
I had a lovely long walk on the beach today and whllst walking a sea eagle hovered above me. I was pretty chuffed with that. I don't know if it means anything (apart from a sea eagle going about its business), but as I was walking along I was wishing the Universe/God/Mother Earth/my mind would give me an answer as to how to get pregnant with a THB once and for all, and there above me appeared a beautiful sea eagle...Don't have any idea if it is significant, certainly didn't answer my question, but it was lovely all the same...confused

I've got dinner on the stove, better run...Hope to hear from more of you tomorrow.

mozzarellamummy Sun 05-May-13 15:14:29

Hello ladies..I went to my Dr friday and she prescribed me 50mg of clomid from CD 2 for 5days..af came on the 4th and Dp will go back to China on the 13 so I Am afraid I Will take clomid but won't have chances of success this month..Dr said to try anyway..what are your experience with clomid if any?i Am a bit scared about long term effects..how many cycles can I have on it? At least I feel i Am trying something ..

CaliBee Sun 05-May-13 19:20:35

mozarella I'm now on my fourth round of clomid. I was started at 100mg days 2-7 (standard protocol for my clinic) I was monitored for the first cycle only and this was the cycle I got my BFP.
Remind me....are you ovulating regularly? I think it was given to me as for whatever reason I was ovulating infrequently. It seems to have done the trick (although last cycle was anovulatory...but could have been a post mc blip I guess). as the other 2 cycles I ovulated on cd16 and cd17.
Most Dr's seem to only be happy to give 6 months maximum. I was told they were happy to give me more as it may be the only thing thay can do for me. I have an appointment at the clinic next Friday so will see what they say.
I'm guessing the Dr has said to go ahead and try anyway to see if it actually works for you at that dose. For some women it taks a few months to get the optimum dosage.
Good luck

NotCarrieBradshaw Sun 05-May-13 21:23:18

Hi everyone!
Been lurking for a while. Things looking better here. 2 weeks of abstaining now officially up (although didn't quite manage the whole two weeks wink)
Wounds healing nicely. Yesterday I unwrapped my nice new microscope and put on my white lab coat and hey presto!
We have swimmers!!!!!
I had such a ridiculous grin on my face for hours smile

Now just awaiting AF, due today.

Then time to route out my best underwear grin


hopefulgum Mon 06-May-13 00:52:53

Ah, that is good news notcarrie, I totally understand how good that feels, particularly after years of knowing there are no swimmers there.

My doctor told us not to expect too much in the first three months after the reversal, that it takes 12 weeks to build up the count, that's why they do a sperm analysis three months post vasectomy. Clearly you have plenty of swimmers if you saw them, but I don't want you to be disappointed if you don't get pregnant right away. However, I was on a forum with others who'd had reversals and some lucky women fell pregnant first try!

mozzamama, that is good news about the clomid. Do you ovulate regularly? What were the reasons the doctor prescribed the clomid?

As for me, I am a bit confused. I took my temp today and it has risen a couple of points, but I am sure I haven't ovulated. I did an opk yesterday and it was negative. I am on CD 12, so I really don't think I did, and I almost always have ovulation pain.

If a cycle is anovulatory, do you have a temperature rise? I am thinking, no, but am second guessing here.

I guess I just have to wait and see what happens.

sparklysapphire Mon 06-May-13 02:15:58

Deige, good to hear from you, sorry about the sinusitus, it sounds miserable. I hope at least the sickness is subsiding.

JBrd, how are you doing? Have you started your new job? If so, I hope it's been ok so far.

Notcarrie, excellent news that there are swimmers. Good luck!

Isabeller, I wish you success with the frozen cycle.

Green how are things going with you?

Hopeful, sounds like you've had a really nice week off, are you having another one?

I'm almost 24 weeks now, and finally beginning to feel that I'm actually having a baby, with the slight panic that goes with it! DH is no more enthusiastic about it, but is maybe accepting that it is going to happen, whether he likes it or not.

Hi to morien, calibee, mozzarella, jass, and apologies to anyone I've missed.

mozzarellamummy Mon 06-May-13 11:02:50

hopeful, calibee thank you for your explanations.. Actually I should ovulate regualarly since I had 4 positive opks in the last four cycles and one was also confirmed with a scan.. but I just told my gynae I wanted to be more pro-active so she suggested clomid, I suppose she thinks it can push you to release more eggs and maybe you'll have more chances? hmm
Luckly no big side effects up to now.. On friday I will dare to ask her a bit more..
Isabeller, fingers crossed for your frozen cycle!
And Deige and sparkly it's good to have your bumps around on this thread! smile
My best friend is going to deliver her child in a few days, and other two friends just a week later.. I hope I won't get too emotional when visiting them.. Life is full of triggers!! But I really want to enjoy these babies!

Isabeller Mon 06-May-13 17:31:07

Thank you sparkly I am going a bit mad mostly due to the hormones I think. I have a lining scan tomorrow...

It is lovely to have the inspiring bumps and read everyone's stories smile

Diege Mon 06-May-13 19:30:52

Evening! Good luck for tomorrow's scan isabeller smile Will they be able to tell you much on the day?
Gum with an annovulatory cycle there will be a barely detectable thermal shift, so temps may resemble a slightly undulating line, or there may be a very slight difference between temps at start and end of cycle (I'm trying to think of the eg. in Toni Wescher's book). In think you would recognise it as you are very in-tune with your temp. Normal to have a few jumped up temps pre-ov - I certainly get them.
Wow sparkly 24 weeks!! shock Where did that go??!!! Did you find out sex at scan?
Sickness still with me but very much improved. Down to one cyclizine a day and hoping to stop altogether when this prescription runs out. Bit worried about the old cervix. My measurement at 13 weeks is 'short' (28mm - they like 30-40mm) but 'not that bad' according to consultant at hosp, but as he says now the can of worms has been opened th. ey need to 'keep an eye' on things. So having lovely dildo cam scan in 2 weeks. I'm not too worried as I've had 3 children since my last cervical surgery, but still a bit anxious. Also have to have a glucose intolerance test because my dad is currently being tested for diabetes hmm O that note I have yet to tell my parents I'm pregnant - eek!!!
Right better go as ds1 rampaging up the stairs and in danger of waking ds1. Love to all xxx

Morien Tue 07-May-13 07:20:38

Morning all! Hope everyone's well. Isabeller am thinking of you - fingers crossed. And sparkly, can't believe you're nearly 24 weeks already. Glad your sickness is getting a bit better, diege, and here's hoping your cervix is ok (now that's something I've never had cause to say before grin )

hopeful yes, I work with several foreign languages. I'm not going to say which as one of them makes me immediately identifiable (in the unlikely event that anyone who knows me is lurking) but I will say that Italian is one of them. And I agree with jass - what a shame your dad didn't speak Italian to you when you were growing up! We speak French at home, both between DP & me and with my DSCs as a family - but I speak more and more English to my DSCs because I think that to do otherwise is to deprive them of a huge opportunity. DP and I are currently hugely amused by the fact that DSD2 has an English accent when she speaks French (I speak more English to her than to the others, and I started earlier, and whilst she doesn't really speak English yet (to be fair she barely speaks French either), she's clearly assimilated the sounds!)...and the funniest thing is that DSCs' mum can't work out why her daughter speaks like that confused

On the TTC front, as I said a few days ago, I'm very relaxed about it at the moment. I'm on CD16 and I don't think I've O'd yet, so I'm just going to make sure we DTD every other day for the next week or so. I still don't know if I'll be able to use the clomid and do the IUI next cycle yet - need to work out the dates. mozzarella good luck with your clomid - I'll be watching to see how you get on.

Hello to everyone else! (jbrd my first attempt at using the sourdough starter to make bread last week wasn't great - really heavy, no air - but I have an idea why, and I'm trying again today. And notsoold, maybe I've just missed your posts, but it feels like you haven't been around for a while - how are you?)

hopefulgum Tue 07-May-13 09:11:47

Hi everyone, nice to see you Deige and Sparkly. Your pregnancies are both flying by.

Deige, how did your cervix go last time? Were you concerned then? I hope it stays put, as I know how hard bed rest would be for you.

Isabeller, let us know how the scan went. I'm so excited for you. When is transfer?

I went back to work today, and it was a pretty cruisy day (mainly because I didn't have to see my year nine's who are revolting).

Tomorrow I have a professional learning day, so I'll miss seeing them again!grin

Deige, thanks for the input re:temperatures. I suspect it was just an unusual temperature, and it was a very warm night. Anyway, this morning's temperature was low again, and I still have negative opk's but they're getting darker, so I guess I will ovulate by the end of the week, which is a relief as it means more time for some SWI.wink

Have you seen the thread about the fertility statue? I have starting rubbing the picture of it daily in the hope that it is the key to getting me pregnant...Anything is worth a try!smile

Rowgtfc72 Tue 07-May-13 12:38:23

Hi everyone. Have lurked for more than a year now, trying to convince DH he wants another one. Weve "not" had the chat twice now - he says point blank no and then adds "but if we did". SIL had her second baby yesterday, friend across the roads dd is 3 months old now and a lot of the mums at dds school are having their second (I am old enough to be their mum!). I feel Im not done yet, Im not obsessed yet but feel theres one more in me if you see what I mean. Any chance you lovely ladies could give me the stats on older pregnancies. Ive spent six yrs telling DH(hes 33 by the way) Im too old and have brainwashed him into believing this now, however having googled a bit it would seem Im not at a lot more risk at 41 than I was at 36 when I had DD Dh is worried about miscarriages and genetic problems, Im more worried about chances of conceiving! Its only since Ive been reading this thread that Ive realised you can work out whens a good time of the month to try-wish Id known that for the five months it took to fall for dd. Anyway any advice/info would be great and dont worry if its not good news I like to have the facts and having lurked for a while I feel I know you all anyway ! Sorry for epic post

notsoold Tue 07-May-13 22:34:02

Heellloooo there!!

Morien I am still here reading every post and keeping my fingers crossed for bfps!!!

Our dog is suffering terribly with allergy this year and I spend all night with her and then insomnia creeps during the day. I am cautiously happy with the way everything seems to be going well. But as I can't feel movements all the time ( almost 16 weeks) I have to repeat to myself " today I am pregnant" every so often.

notsoold Tue 07-May-13 22:34:54

Sorry posted too soon!!!

Hello to everyone one here. Keep the good fight!!smile


hopefulgum Tue 07-May-13 23:50:38

Wow, notsoold, you're 16 weeks already?! It seems to have passed quickly, but I'll bet it hasn't for you? The first 12 weeks is always so slow for me.

Welcome Rowgtfc72. I can't give you any stats, but they are all over the net if you want to google. However, if you don't want to be disappointed, don't google. There's alot of negativity about ttc in your forties, particularly from the medical profession. However, anecdotally, there are many successes. I have been on this thread for 3 years and I have seen many women fall pregnant and have babies. However, I have also shared much heartbreak with miscarriages. I've had three, and I know several women on this thread who have had them too. That doesn't mean you will.

I fell pregnant with my DS at the age of 41, quite easily, after a vasectomy reversal. All was well and my darling boy is 4 and a half now.

As for timing sex for conception, I would consider charting - if you are interested, Fertility Friend online runs you through a number of tutorials explaining how it works. Also the bible for all women ttc should be Toni Wheschler's "Taking Charge of your Fertility". It is a wonderful book which really explains everything. You can also buy ovulation predictor sticks to pee on. They will tell you when you are having your LH surge, which means ovulation will occur something like 12-48 hours afterwards.

I have been dutifully rubbing the image of the fertility statues daily, so I am fully expecting to be pregnant by the end of this cycle [ she'sgonearoundthebendatlast emoticon]grin

Dh has been very obliging with the sex, so I know I have at least given it a damn good shot. I still haven't ovulated, but it is day 15 and I reckon it'll happen soon enough...smile

Calibee, did you DF home on the weekend? How are the wedding plans going? It is getting close...so exciting. Wish I could come to the wedding. I will be there virtually, cheering, throwing rice and taking snaps, then drinking a glass of champagne to celebrate your nuptials!smile

Have a lovely day gorgeous ladies..thanks

Rowgtfc72 Wed 08-May-13 07:26:54

Thanks for that. Last year or so I get an achy hip on day 14 so am thinking this is ovulation. Im on the pill at the minute and my cycles are 28 days bang on. Dont know if this will change if I ever get the opportunity to get off it ! Charting would just scare DH off more I think.

CaliBee Wed 08-May-13 07:29:24

Hi to all....I have been reading your messages but am a bit of a miserable moo at the moment so have kept my head low.

DF was supposed to be home, but at #6;30pm on Friday he called to say that Sergeant had banned them all from home leave due to a bad room inspection (not even his room). he was furious, I was upset...but hey, on countdown for this weekend (fingers crossed)

I'm still struggling to get my head around the iminentness (is that even a word?) of the wedding. I guess not having him around isn't helping. It will be four weeks at the weekend since we last saw each other.
I have my fertility consultant appointment on Friday, although just now ttc seems to have been pushed to the back of my mind......it feels like it will never happen.

Anyway..not wishing to bring down the mood...happy day to all of you xx

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