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Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

(975 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 09:51:11

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! smile

CaliBee Wed 24-Apr-13 13:27:51

Have to say morien that i would be tempted phone in sick.
Eeeeek...i never said that did i??? No surely not. Wink.

mozzarellamummy Wed 24-Apr-13 14:55:08

hello ladies, I'm sorry I'm not so good on posting regularly on this thread.. I'm 41 today and as the birthday was approaching my mood got a little down.. Still I'll try to see me as a 41 lady on the youngest side of the 41, while just until yesterday I was a 40 lady on the oldest side of 40 .. so it could be a new start!
I'm still struggling a lot with the memories of the TFMR.. guilt will never fade away and it's difficult to load off these feelings with whoever in RL..sad
I've been seeing a documentary "born to be different" on the BBC about the lives of disabled children and the strength, love as well as sorrow of the parents knackers me.. I could have such a baby with me now, I'll never know how she would have been.. my partner told me he would have left, both him and my parents told me I would have destroyed my healthy DD1 life and condemned the baby to a life without any quality of life, but I still feel so guilty and confused.. and I'm afraid it will be the same every day of my life.. after a few months of TTC I'm afraid I won't ever have a rainbow baby and I will be overwhelmed by sadness (just crying now in front of my computer..)..
I'm sorry I'd like to be more light-hearted, but it really hurts!

Jlbrd, I'm sorry for what happened.. I really admire your reaction!
Green fingers crossed for you!!!

mozzarellamummy Wed 24-Apr-13 14:56:48

nobeer thanks for your advices about teaching

mozzarellamummy Wed 24-Apr-13 14:57:49

and Isabeller good luck with your scratch, wishing you a smooth path to your frozen cycle..

Irishmammybread Wed 24-Apr-13 15:03:24

Mozzarella have a hug .
I'm sure you made your decision out of love and were considering everyone else(including the baby) and not yourself.
It's so hard to lose a baby and the circumstances must have been so traumatic for you. Come on here to talk about it whenever you want, you know we're here for you. xxx

Irishmammybread Wed 24-Apr-13 15:03:53

Green !!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

JBrd Wed 24-Apr-13 19:18:18

Oh, mozzarella, don't beat yourself up. These decisions are incredibly difficult, you have to consider so many things - and although I have never been in that position, I can imagine that you can probably never be absolutely certain... But don't compare yourself to the people in the documentary - each and everyone is different, and so is their individual situation. They never show documentaries about the people who had to make the same decision as you did, and their courage and bravery.
Being a bit down probably doesn't help either, everything gets blown out of proportion. Hope you start feeling more positive soon! <<hug>>

Morien I've not tried a sourdough bread yet, the whole starter thing puts me off - I've tried it once, and it overflowed out of the bowl, it was such a mess. But I am thinking about trying puff pastry at the weekend, really want to have a go with it!
And I think you're right not to put off your holidays because of ttc! We can't put our lives on hold for this completely. Morocco is great, we went there for our honeymoon and loved it.

green Pile of bread is about right grin Although I had another go at making a rye bread - and got defeated again. It just won't rise, the b****rd!

Irish Brioche is surprisingly easy to make. I don't have a breadmaker, just a KitchenAid, which is very helpful with the kneading.

I met with two friends for dinner last night, it was really nice. Both of them also had their children in their forties, and both also have had miscarriages. It felt so comfortable, chatting with them, no hiding, no pretense.
(I'm really starting to wonder why miscarriages hardly ever get mentioned, even though so many women have experienced them.)

Question to the CBFM users amongst you, ladies - will it work in the 'cycle' between a mc and the first af afterwards? Or are there still too many other hormones in the system? Thinking whether to use any of the sticks or wait until I've had af again.

greenlizard Wed 24-Apr-13 19:52:11

Ladies, thank you so much for your congrats - it means a lot to me thanks.

I couldn't believe it when I tested (being so used to arctic white – I think another thread have called it – so apt) that I thought I was seeing things. I actually took a photo of the test and have spent all day at work checking the picture to show I didn’t imagine it – what a nutter grin.

I don’t think it has really sunk in and then I got a phone call from the fertility clinic with the results of my AMH test. Basically, they show I have extremely low ovarian reserves (1.3 when satisfactory is 20 sad). I know this sounds ridiculous given my bfp this morning but I was extremely upset and had to go and have a cry in the toilets confused. I think it was a shock because the consultant said he expected to see my reserve levels to be at normal or above given my other hormone tests levels. I also know, as so many of you lovely ladies have had to cruelly experience; getting a bfp in your forties is just the start of the journey. Maybe I will have a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage but will not be able to get pregnant again because I have such low ovarian reserves. Am I more likely to have a miscarriage if I have low AMH levels? Then I wondered how the hell I managed to get pregnant with such low reserves (cue more analysing of photo). I have been up and down all over the place.

I have some more tests on order from Amazon but they won’t be here until tomorrow so I raided Tesco’s on the way home – 2 Pack of FRER’s and 2 Pack of Clearblue Digital. I just needed to check. Another (darker line) on the FRER and a Pregnant 1-2 on the CB. grin gringrin

I am thrilled and a wee bit scared. Do you mind holding my hand for a while longer?

Ps. DP is going to call later to get the update on the AMH tests so I am going to have to tell him about the bfp so he doesn't worry for the couple of days he is away…well maybe he should worry because I seem to have turned into a quivering wreck in the space of 24 hours.

Pps. Sorry for the me, me, me post. Need to go and compose myself.

NotCarrieBradshaw Wed 24-Apr-13 22:13:11

Hello everyone!
Thanks Hopeful, your lovely story has cheered me up. I started looking at microscopes days ago. My Dp thinks I'm joking but I can't wait 3 months to see if it worked. And I will add vitamin E to his supplements!

Congratulations Green on your bfp, I'm so pleased for you thanks

Had a horrible conversation with my mum last night as she told me in no uncertain terms that we are too old. She really upset me, I sat at work all day going over it in my head. hmm

sparklysapphire Wed 24-Apr-13 23:19:02

Green, huge congratulations on your BFP!! I'm so pleased for you, crossing everything that it's a sticky one.

Notcarrie you aren't too old, & don't let anyone, even your mum, tell you are

Hugs to mozzarella, I hope you're feeling a bit better.

JBrd you sound like you're coping very well, & being very brave.

Sorry for not name checking, on my phone on the way home from work, very happy not to be working tomorrow.

JBrd Wed 24-Apr-13 23:48:13

green Remember - today, you are pregnant <<holds hand>>

hopefulgum Thu 25-Apr-13 00:25:19

Congratulations green. I am so pleased for you. Your mind will be going over everything and that coupled with your hormonal emoyional extremes will make you think all sorts of things. As jbrd said for today you are pregnant. Wow!

I am very happy for you but bummed for me as I am not preggo and wanted to be your bump buddy...never mind, I think I am getting closer to accepting that I have done my dash and my miracle 40s baby is my DS and I dont have another one in me. AF turned up this morning. At least I have a decent LP of 13 days.

We have been having a very nice time with our friends. I have much to be thankful for. Love to all xxx

littlepinkfizz Thu 25-Apr-13 07:57:39

My mum is exactly the same Carrie it's awful when all you want is support from your loved ones.

So excited fr you green Against all the odds,you ARE pregnant ,no matter about test results!

I'm out this month yet again.not surprised. Will start using ovulation sticks next month so I can give it my best shot for the last few months we will be trying.

Love to all x

JBrd Thu 25-Apr-13 09:16:26

Carrie and littlepink Sorry that your mums aren't more supportive. Apart from it being really none of their business, they should know that it's really nothing unusual anymore to have babies in our forties!
I sometimes wonder if my mum thinks that as well, as she keeps asking if we will keep on ttc... But fortunately, she would never say it to me directly.

This is why we come here to 'talk' smile.

green How are you feeling today? Have to told your DH, what did he say?!

My cbfm has started asking for sticks again already, on 'C'D6 (if I can call it that) - I've reset it completely, so it is probably doing that first cycle thing again, where you go through a whole box of sticks and only every get a medium or high reading, never a peak hmm. I'm thinking of only doing the sticks around CD10-15ish, while also doing OPKs - given that this is the WTF cycle between mc and first af. I probably shouldn't be using the cbfm yet anyway.

My bleeding has pretty much stopped, yay! Another scan tomorrow to check that everything is as it should be. I can't believe how different this mc is from the last one.
When I went down to London on Tuesday to meet with my friends, it occurred to me that - had everything gone right the first time- I'd be six months pregnant now...sad But I would also still be in my job that I hated.
We're going to meet some friends on Sunday, who've just had their second DD last week - I'm hoping to be able to hold it together, but it's going to be hard, I think.

fatfloosie Thu 25-Apr-13 12:33:38

Hi all. Checking back in as I've had first af post mc so am now back in play. Hope DP is ready for the impending shagfest. Am trying for a third-time-lucky baby after two mcs (although as 4 has always been my lucky number I might give it one more shot if that doesn't work out!)

JBrd so sorry you've had another mc but glad it's been a relatively easy one - it restores your faith in your body when it miscarries efficiently and trying again doesn't seem so daunting. You're so right about how little miscarriages are spoken about when really they are so common (I've never forgotten a line in Eastenders when Dot said 'Scratch the surface of any woman and there's a baby story').

greenlizard congratulations and fingers crossed it's a sticker!

CaliBee Thu 25-Apr-13 17:38:38

Hello all...lots going on here.
Suffice to say I am reading all your posts.
Not much going on with me 8-10dpo and after saying my boobs were painless the other day, they have of course attacked with a vengeance. I'm not even going to bother testing though this month as we only managed to bd 4 days before thinking a probable bfn anyway.
Weirdly I had three days of positives on opk's (mon, tues, weds) temp went up thurs but tues and weds temps had to be disregarded as I slept so badly...although they were above the coverline. So actually I have no idea when I ovulated to be honest. I guess time will tell as I seem to have a pretty consistent 13 day lp.
Its been a torturous week with no contact with my man....dare I say I almost feel single again shock. Hopefully I should be able to talk to him tomorrow, but he still wont be home for another 2 weeks. gah.

NotCarrieBradshaw Thu 25-Apr-13 20:42:30

Hello everyone.

30 pregnancy tests - tick
Microscope on order - tick
Tube of expensive Preconceive Gel Stuff - tick
Homemade ovulation calendar - tick
Two people waiting to bd - tick


greenlizard Thu 25-Apr-13 21:16:59

Evening ladies!

gringrin Carrie your poor DH won't know what's hit him when you get the green light!! Will you use OPK's as well? Also do you chart your temp (or is that what your ovulation calender is?).

Calibee it must be difficult enough to be without DF but not being able to speak must be really frustrating. Hope you get to talk to him tomorrow and don't forget that you will soon get to be with him all the time - when you become Mrs DF smile. Are you using your CBFM as well? I have always seem to get a +ve OPK, 2 peaks and then ovulate the day after my last peak (well that has happened the last three months.

jbrd glad your MC seems to be resolving itself naturally and you don't have to go through a horrible medical experience.

hopeful I so wanted to be your bump buddy too so you best get going for a catch up!! Glad you had a lovely time away with your friends...I agree that your life sounds lovely in Aus - I love to read about it before I go off to sit on the M25 in the morning rush hour confused.

I told my DP last night over the phone. He was shock and very emotional and we both ended up crying on the phone. Was very soppy and very lovely - he is very happy man. I have calmed down somewhat - thank you for your kind words ladies thanks. As you have wisely suggested think short term, so today I am still pregnant and I am going to stick with that. I have got some IC pregnancy tests and I am going to be POAS champion (until I can relax a bit - hopefully smile).


CaliBee Thu 25-Apr-13 21:43:24

grin at carrie......You go girl.

green I decided against the cbfm in the end. Switched it on then left it to fester. If I'm honest having read many threads about them they seem to have a mind of their own. They were just an expensive method of poas tbh, something I could do with similar results for a fraction of the price with cheapy opk's.
Just watched Game of Thronesagain blush . Home alone just me and the hound (my lovely hound that is, not GoT hound). Ds staying with his Dad now until Sunday and dd2 at work.
Dd1 had her 12 week scan yesterday...all is good. A little small for dates but thats not a surprise as dd is tiny, just 5ft1.

remnant Thu 25-Apr-13 23:36:52

GreenLizard, it is very exciting to read about your bfp. Congratulations :D I'm certain, fwiw, that you'll get all the way to a thb.

Calibee, I'd missed that your DD1 was pregnant! That must take some dealing with!

Sorry I'm doing a rubbish job keeping up with all the posts but I am just about reading them. Day 28 for me, still nothing to show for it. Trying to step back from the whole business really. I'm getting pretty good at it to be honest. First there was organising holiday, shopping for the holiday, going on holiday, and now there's work, the gardening and watching DS practise his dancing :D If I get really desperate I can think about sorting out the baby clothes and kit I've been saving for DC2. I guess I should get rid of them, one way or another. Keeping it all won't help sway DH.

DS forgot about his BF this morning. I didn't remind him.

btw. keep meaning to thank you collectively for the Game of throne's recommendations. We caught up on seasons 1 and 2 on dvd ( in less than a week). Very annoyed not to have sky atlantic.

hopefulgum Fri 26-Apr-13 00:33:43

Hi everyone. It has been really busy on the thread.
remnant I too am hoping that getting ready for our tropical island holiday in 10 weeks will help me forget this ttc thing. I would like to lose a few more kilos before then and have already started thinking about what I should pack. I was hoping to be 15 weeks pregnant by then but thats not going to happen now.

calibee I think I agree with you about the cbfm. I am going to stop using it and I may even stop using opks and timing etc. At least that is how I feel right now but things could be different next week.

deige we haven't heard from you for a while. How are you? Is your ms subsiding?

We are back on the road today. We have a long trip ahead of us. Thank god for the i pad which keeps the four year old happy. I will probably sleep as I haven't been sleeping very well.

See you later...

CaliBee Fri 26-Apr-13 07:31:47

Morning all
remnant Dd1 announced she was pregnant just after we got back from London in March. Yes it was a huge blow to start with especially so soon after the mc....however things have sunk in now and as long as she is ok I am happy for her. How are you feeling about things now?? Are you still ttc??

gum I must admit, if my cycles were regular I wouldnt be temping, timing or poas either. I do it now purely to keep a track of when to expect af. Years ago I could go through my diary and mark out a years worth of cycles, I was that regular. sad

Yay its Friday. I have house to myself for the weekend with just a trip over to see my Mum on Sunday (its her 75th birthday). Still stumped for a present though. She is so difficult to buy for!!!!!

Isabeller Sat 27-Apr-13 23:58:21

Hi all, not much brain this end but sending positive vibes and flowers to everyone xx

greenlizard Sun 28-Apr-13 17:05:36

Afternoon - this thread is very quiet. Are you all out having a real life instead? smile

Hope you are all having great weekends? I have been running around trying to sort my flat out for viewing (getting a man in to give it a lick of paint) and decided it would be a good idea to go to IKEA to get some bits & pieces to tart it up a bit. The WHOLE of london were in in Wembley IKEA this morning at around 10:30 - agh! I bought one plant pot and some tea lights then ran for the hills - I am not tough enough for that kind of retail experience. Its open till 10pm every night so I might brave it after 9 one night.

Still POAS (to check line is getting darker - smile) and have also been temping but think I might have to wean myself off it all and go with the flow - otherwise I will a)be skint and b)become a bit more nuts. I told myself I could keep POAS until past when I would have got my period which is today so I will try not to tomorrow. Told my sisters and my mum and dad and they are are all really thrilled - but my mum said, I am too old now to be much of a grandmother which made me a bit sad.

greenlizard Sun 28-Apr-13 17:09:33

calibee did you manage to get to speak to DF over the weekend? How was you weekend on your own?

Isabeller how do you feel after your scratch procedure - OK I hope?

hopeful glad to hear you are on the tropical holiday countdown - can't believe you are thinking about what to pack now shock I am a throw in all in the case a day before kind-of-gal but obviously always over pack as a result. I am in awe of your ability to plan...grin

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