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It is a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in her thirties in possession of a ticking biological clock MUST be in want of a baybee.

(1000 Posts)
ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 04-Mar-13 19:52:16

The former thread proved full of sadness and most vexatious disappointments, wherefore we know not sad. Therefore the BESH will be donning their empire dresses and enlisting the assistance of Captain Wentworth and his admirable breeches and Mr Darcy smouldering damply in his transparent white shirt both of whom with their pleasing countenances and sound judgements and enormous fortunes, in short both of whom are everything a young man ought to be in the expectation that happier times may be ahead for the BESH.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Mon 04-Mar-13 19:57:15

I don't have a fecking clue who Captail Wentworth is but I know who Mr Darcy is!

<puts hair into ringlets>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 04-Mar-13 20:01:32

Really Buggerlugs I scarcely think such language is decorous.

Captain Wentworth is the breeches-clad naval hero in Persuasion, spurned by Anne Elliot in her youth and lately her husband.

Northey Mon 04-Mar-13 20:05:59

I pray you dears, for I am all at a loss, do tell me, is enormous fortune a euphemism? <fumbles for smelling salts>

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:06:20

My dearest aries, many thanks come thee way for this most esteemed fred theme. I think we need to add Mr Knightley (after all he's more our age) and no period dramas to this fred.

<shakes head at bugs lack of Austen knowledge, gives her a penguin chick to cuddle instead>

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:06:51

grin norf

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Mon 04-Mar-13 20:07:52

<sits in corner and cuddles penguin>

<reads 50 shades of Grey in secret>

EuroShaggleton Mon 04-Mar-13 20:10:47

I bet Mr Darcy would knock us up, forthwith.

My heartfelt felicitations on your most fortunate news, Bugs.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 04-Mar-13 20:12:27

I like to think of myself as a Lizzy Bennett, but I fear I may be more of a Mary.

<secretly yearns to be a Lydia and elope with an indecently wicked Officer> grin

I have no idea what the BESH is, but if Wentworth and Darcy are here and we're talking truths, then this is clearly the thread for me.

FriendofDorothy Mon 04-Mar-13 20:14:44

I am practising my simpering already.

Empire line dresses make me look even shorter and dumpier than I actually am!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:18:20

Just clarifying I am NOT Emma wink but I have a weakness for older men (on paper).

Tell us who you are truth and find a BESHtionaire (a few threads ago)

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 04-Mar-13 20:20:57

<sniffs air>

<in ladylike hadji on, obv>

Fresh blood? Looking forward to seeing your BESHtionnaire Truth

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Mon 04-Mar-13 20:23:23

For the record I've seen Pride and Prejudice once, not read the book and any other Austin book. Sorry.

Northey Mon 04-Mar-13 20:27:06

Most glorious and excellent buggerlugs, you pierce my very soul with your words. It will not do. Get thee hence and watch some of the very excellent adaptations at once.

truth, iz you a barren? Just checking...

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 04-Mar-13 20:27:54

<faints at AustIn faux pas>

In other news: puff pastry disaster sad

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:28:59

Exactly, sense and sensibility?

Or if you prefer no Austen shock horror you can always settle for Norf and Souf with the most excellent delectable RA smile

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Mon 04-Mar-13 20:29:21

Maybe I'll duck out for this fred and run around with other Harry Potter / Twilight fans?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:29:45

What exactly is a puff pastry disaster? Did it not puff? That is not a disaster, it nearly never does for me.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 04-Mar-13 20:30:12

Truth, far be it from me to be discourteous and impertinent, but this is a thread for ladies in their fourth decade who by an unfortunate and cruel twist of fate find themselves in the unhappy situation of finding the conception of offspring difficult.

If the description matches your good self, happily we will welcome you to the fold.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:30:48


<graps hold tightly, binds in 50 shades manner bugs to a tv set playing a continuous loop of wonderful adaptations, looks stern>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 04-Mar-13 20:31:37

Bugs get the fuck back here grin. No ducking allowed - I was just being a twat.

<abandons Austen for moment>

No the puff pastry was Packet, and I forgot to remove the plastic sad

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 04-Mar-13 20:32:26

"You pierce my soul"

I detect another Captain Wentworth fan.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:33:39

Btw euro my overly vivid imagination is getting a nice loop of Mr Darcy knocking us all up. Well to be honest, just me, but a few times, for insurance purposes. I am still ovulating, clearly...

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 04-Mar-13 20:35:08

Okay, that is a disaster aries. But it made me smile.
Btw who is Frank, the slightly thick son of someone or other in an Austen, I think...

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