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IVF or IUI for genetic issues

(7 Posts)
want1morechild Wed 27-Feb-13 11:03:30

I wonder if anyone can help or give me some much needed advice. I have no fertility issues and have 2 children which were easily conceived. However, they both have severe autism, complex learning difficulties, attend special school etc. and sadly will never live independently. Although there is no actual evidence of this, me and my DH both strongly believe their autism etc. is genetic on my DH's side. He has an older brother, uncle, 3 cousins and 2 nephews all with autism and associated difficulties and all severely affected.

Me and DH have always wanted a big family and have room, reasonably financially secure etc. for more children. But we really don't want to risk another child who could be even more severely affected. Our life has been very, very difficult the past 8 years and we feel a great deal of sadness, constant worry about our boys. I would really love a chance to experience raising a typical child and all that involves. This is why DH has suggested we try IVF (or is it IUI we need?) using a sperm donor. We know we will have to fund this etc. but are desperate to do anything which will help give our child the best possible chance at avoiding our genetics.

Sorry this is a bit rambling but I feel very emotional about all this and know it is a sensitive issue. I just wondered whether anyone could advise us what our next step should be, would a private clinic refuse to treat us because we don't actually have any genetic issues. I want to avoid my own GP as he told me I need to be sterilised as there is no way we should be having any more. Also I am 37, soon to be 38 and don't want to waste any time.

EuroShaggleton Wed 27-Feb-13 11:31:04

If you have no fertility issues and just want to use donor sperm, IUI would be the cheapest option. You can have 3 or 4 cycles of IUI for the price of a "cheap" IVF cycle. It's also a lot less invasive for you (no drugs or egg collection).

Your GP sounds like a c**t. It is not his decision.

Soph80 Wed 27-Feb-13 11:41:19

I agree with Euro re your GP! What has it got to do with him?!!!

I'd try IUI with a donor first. Really hope everything works out for you xx

want1morechild Wed 27-Feb-13 12:01:59

Thanks Euro and Soph. Yes Think I'll be avoiding the GP if I can. Glad you both don't think it's a ridiculous idea. Any idea what should be my first step? Do you think I'll have any bother getting a clinic to treat me, would they have any ethical issues etc. I live in Ireland and don't have a wide range of clinics to choose from. It's just hard because I don't know anyone who has ever had IVF or IUI for these reasons. not sort of thing that you can talk to others about in real life.

Soph80 Wed 27-Feb-13 12:12:12

well you get gay and lesbian couples or single people doing it all the time so can't see why it would be different for you.

keepitgoing Wed 27-Feb-13 12:54:47

I agree that your GP should f* off. I think a private clinic would have no issues - it is legal and your choice to use a sperm donor. Go for iui, no need for ivf.

First step - book a consultation at a clinic near you. They'll want to do some tests I imagine.

Good luck!

want1morechild Wed 27-Feb-13 22:02:27

Thanks for the advice everyone. I feel much more confident about starting the process now...and quite excited, although I'm sure it will be a long road ahead!

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