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At what stage do you say enough is enough and give up TTC?

(15 Posts)
npg1 Tue 19-Feb-13 16:39:17

I feel really fed up and down at the moment. TTC for over a year, got PCOS have got 2 children from previous relationship.

I am also a childminder and having a bad day today!

Just finished taking my 3rd round of clomid, 50mg and 1 follicle on first scan. I had a MC august and all I keep thinking about is I have to be pregnant by may because im worried how I will feel (plus one of my best friends is due on the date I should have been!)

So 2 rounds of clomid have made no difference and I hate stressing about when to do it, taking temp, poas all time etc etc. Its so nice when I have a period that I know I havent got to worry for a couple of weeks. Its making me so depressed I just dont know what to do. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

MolotovCocktail Tue 19-Feb-13 21:04:29

Yes! Your post is all too familiar.

It took 2 years and 6 50mg Clomid cycles to conceive DD2: I was starting to come to terms with the idea that another baby wasn't going to happen. Lots of my friends with children DD1s age were getting pg again at the time and it was breaking my heart.

But it did happen. When I least expected it; when almost all my hope had gone, she came along.

Hope it doesn't take much longer for you x

EuroShagmore Tue 19-Feb-13 21:08:10

We said that we were going to do 3 rounds of natural IVF over 6 months and then look into adoption. I think it's helpful to set a limit. TTC unsuccessfully takes a hug emotional toll.

npg1 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:27:24

Thanks ladies. I know it has only been 2 rounds, third round last tablet taken last night but I just cant face it. The clomid makes me feel like an emotional wreck.

We kind of said if the 3 rounds dont work we will call it quits but how can you ever just give up when you want something so bad.

Soph80 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:36:44

molo - can I ask if you were ovulating before you were put on clomid? On cycle 2 but really don't see the point as was already ovulating. x

npg1 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:38:40

Im the same, im ovulating so dont really see point either. At first thought it was a brillaint idea x

Soph80 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:57:09

NPG1 Yeh me too, did your doc say why she'd put you on them then? I'm wondering if its just a way to buy more time / fob you off? x

npg1 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:59:52

yes i think your probably right now looking back. At first all I wanted was the clomid but now I think whats the point when I have ovulated on 50mg? Im ack in april but dont know what they will suggest next.

MolotovCocktail Wed 20-Feb-13 11:23:57

Ladies, I the fertilitly tests showed that was ovualating naturally. DH's sperm was good, so we were 'unexplained infertility.' We also had DD1, who was conceived naturally after 9 moths of TTC.

I think it is worth taking Clomid, even if you're naturally ovulating. I was told by our fertility nurses that Clomid can improve the quality, as well and quantity, of egg(s) released.

I was prescribed the initial 3 cycles worth of Clomid, then when that hadn't worked, given another 3 cycles worth. When the 5th cycle failed, I did think 'what's the point?' I can admit with hindsight now that I was depressed. I was using alcohol as a coping tool, I withdrew from lots of friends and I even felt distant to my beloved DH. I totally agree with Euro that TTC can wreak havoc on a relationship. If I was to go through that experience again, I would have asked for counselling as I now understand the full weight that was upon me and therefore, my DH and DD1.

We conceived at the proverbial 11th hour. I was on my 6th cycle; didn't think for a moment it would work. I think it did because my thoughts were turning (reluctantly) to acceptance. I could see how much i was changing, and I didnt like who i was becoming. We took a holiday te month DD2 was conceived, I think that might have had
something to do with it, too.

I remember thinking that we'd go back to the clinic, but that I'd need some not taking Clomid; time to not be TTC and try and reconnect with DH, DD1, my friends. I'm thankful to God, science, or whatever it was that made DD2 finally come into our lives at that time. Honestly, I think that was one of the most difficult times of my entire life.

npg1 Thu 21-Feb-13 18:00:35

Thanks ladies for your messages. I had a letter today from hospital yo change my appointment again to end of april! Great! Saw my friend today who is due on my due date, why can't it be me?! X

willitbe Thu 21-Feb-13 18:17:15

I decided after a long time of yes/no about giving up. That was after the 12th miscarriage in 4 years, with my youngest child being 4 years old and deciding that the age gap had got too big combined with my age being too old.

So we are now going to be fostercarers for babies. I think my miscarriages have helped me to learn to deal with saying goodbye, and for the time the babies are with us, they will be cared for in a loving family. The fostering will be a help to me as much as it will hopefully help the babies we will be caring for.

It has been a long slow journey to say enough is enough. Giving up TTC was hard to do. (I kept hoping I would be the one like so many have already given stories here, that it happened when we stopped trying.) Starting to use contraception has not been easy, but essential for me to move on to the next exciting adventure in my life.

MolotovCocktail Thu 21-Feb-13 19:21:51

Bless you, willitbe - all of what I wrote is relatively easy as our much longed-for DD2 did show her shiney face. I'm happy to read that you're now going to move on and do something amazing.

wifeofdoom Thu 21-Feb-13 19:29:27

I so relate to your post npg1 - my dd is 4.5 and I am on my 2nd round of ivf and feel v sorry for myself. Not sure I can do this again if it doesn't work - always said we would do 3 rounds but it is just so unpleasant. Feel like I am wasting time with my dd cos I am so grumpy, sad and tired.

willitbe good for you - that is an amazing thing you are doing.

good luck, hope it works out for you x

npg1 Thu 21-Feb-13 21:09:51

Willitbe you sound amazing! And what an amazing thing to do. Wow. Im sorry yo hear about the miscarriages. Have they told you why?

I guess in a way I am caring for various under 1s and I do feel its nice to give them back at the end of the day lol but would love for me and hubby to have one.

He has even spoken about having ivf but im not sure on this? X

galwaygal Fri 22-Feb-13 11:34:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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