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TTC and under 23 am I the only one?

(101 Posts)
bebebuttons2 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:46:09

Just want to know if there are any other younguns out there ttc aswell? I'm 18 and just come off the cerazette pill, which I've heard is hard to get pregnant after stopping, so I'm coming off early as I want a baby young, pref before 20. I'll be Nineteen by the time the baby is born if I conceive this month. Don't want criticism just want to see if there is anyone in a similar boat to me:D

bebebuttons2 Tue 05-Feb-13 22:12:54

Yes I do understand that most people think that this is a deceitful plan, but I know my parents and I know they would under no circumstances kick me out, even if I was pregnant and 18, I know eventually they would get over the shock and be supportive. But I think there would be amnosity between my mother and me if I told her it was deliberate, which I don't want obviously. Maybe I'm being selfish I just think this is the easier way. I don't know what is to be gained by telling them I'm trying, who needs to know?

setayharas Tue 05-Feb-13 22:15:06

Haha grotz oh already tries to buy baby grows ect when we do our shopping. I have to keep reminding him that I'm not pregnant. Going in ikea is even worse. He's already chosen bedroom furniture for when the babies a toddler. And let's not mention the special offroading pram made specially for all them forest walk we take or don't as the car may be

grotbagz Tue 05-Feb-13 22:16:18

Will they be the ones supporting you if your partner can only get accommodation for himself? This isn't intended to come across as rude but I'm just curious!

grotbagz Tue 05-Feb-13 22:18:55

Setay - I know what you mean - we've been pg twice in the last 6 months so like mad people decided to get a 'few things' - no regrets though - all lovely! But just goes to show how the madness can take over, hahha oh boys and their toys - essentially a baby 4x4 ;)

Skinnywhippet Tue 05-Feb-13 22:19:36 can I now admit I have a drawer full of baby grows. I also nearly bought a nearly new baby Bjorne carriers off eBay a few months ago. I think I'll be terrified when I start TTC properly. We've already worked out moving furniture around in the house so baby can have their own room. I know I will spend waaaaay too much but don't want to go crazy and regret it. The one thing I know for definite is I want my child to have a ridiculous amount of books. I don't think you can have too many and children's books are fabulous.

bebebuttons2 Tue 05-Feb-13 22:19:54

Well I imagine they will want me to stay at home, dads very protective of us, but I will be working as soon as I finish my exams and would pay rent for allowing the baby to stay there and would be at home all day when the baby first comes so would help with washing and cleaning with mum during the day, so once the situation was explained to them I think it would be easy to come to an arrangement.

bebebuttons2 Tue 05-Feb-13 22:21:30

Ha I agree with you there skinny on the books thing, I want to read to my child every day! and I want them to watch as much of the old classic disney films as possible, I grew up on these and unlike a lot of childrens tv and film, don't find them disturbing or influential in a bad way at all!

grotbagz Tue 05-Feb-13 22:24:43

Skinny - im excited for the books too - my house is a library - I love love love books - hopefully it'll rub off on any future children - but then again my house will then be difficult to navigate with all the piles of them everywhere...

i don't think you could regret spending too much! Are you also planning on being a sahm?

Bebe - fair enough, I suppose your parents are only doing what parents do and wanting (what they think is) the best for you!

bebebuttons2 Tue 05-Feb-13 22:26:45

Grotbagz - Yeah I think now I'm 18 and will be 19 when the baby comes, they won't be like 'omg this is outrageous' they'll be more 'oh okay this isn't great, but we'll help you get through it'

honey86 Tue 05-Feb-13 22:55:12

waghh i turned 27 yesterday im officially oldd confused i got preg at 19... ive tried over the yrs to get into midwifery, its so hard to get into uni hmm im still trying now, but ttc #4 x

grotbagz Tue 05-Feb-13 22:55:50

I suppose so, they may have their own reasons to be not 100% supportive but ultimately it's your choice obviously as you're technically an adult - have you told your friends? What do they think?

bebebuttons2 Wed 06-Feb-13 08:54:24

Yeah it's even harder when you're 18 no one wants a 20 year old just out of uni to deliever their baby everyone wants midwives that look old and experienced! I've been trying to get a job as a healthcare assistant for a while and having no luck. And tbh I don't really have any close friends I can talk to

bebebuttons2 Wed 06-Feb-13 08:57:01

Hence why I come on here looking for people in the same boat as me haha

Madratlady Wed 06-Feb-13 10:01:25

I'm 22 and we've been TTC since december. It's nice to see there are some other young people on here smile

I'm a little sick of being told I'm too young to have a child, that I should be 'out having fun' etc. I'm finding it really frustrating not being able to talk to my Mum about it sine she's often telling me that I'm too young, and has got it into her head that I'm pressuring my husband to have a child (I'm definitely not).

grotbagz Wed 06-Feb-13 11:05:35

honey not old at all!! Have you looked at the access courses? They should do them in your local college - they do a health and social branch - a few people I know got into it that way - they say its full time but because its an adult learners course specifically to get you into uni, but they seem to be good in terms of if you have a child they understand it can be difficult - and the hours aren't actually 'full time' in the same sense. You may have looked into it but if not and if your able to it seems to be a good route!

I wouldn't mind a young midwife as long as they're trained, but I would also perhaps like someone with a bit more experience just checking in ya know? After all they wouldn't have been doing it for that long, but maybe I'd be more ok with it because I'm not too far from that age.

Do you watch one born every minute? The younger blonde one seems nice, I wouldn't mind someone like her being there.

Hi madratlady it's strange isn't it, my mum was 23 when she had me and I don't think I'd have the same relationship with her if she was older, that's sort of what I'd want for my kids personally just because we have a friend relationship and its really nice! I also don't think 22/23 is that young to have a baby!

I'm sure your mum means well, but if you're married and you're both happy with the decision then it's I'm sure she'll come around! Is your partner the same age as you?

bebebuttons2 Wed 06-Feb-13 12:25:02

Madratlady - I agree, that's why I started up this thread, it's hard to find people to talk to about this, when everyone just argues about you being too young. But I simply just can't wait, it's all I think about!!

grotbagz Wed 06-Feb-13 12:30:27

sorry bebe meant to tag you in the midwife bit!

lyndsey90 Wed 06-Feb-13 12:31:36

I'm 22 and had 2 positive cheapy tests yesterday, not convinced yet to gonna get more tests! Good luck TTC young to be mummies!!

bebebuttons2 Wed 06-Feb-13 12:36:07

awh congratulations Lyndsey, how long have you been trying? You're so lucky!! I'm hoping February is my month too!

grotbagz Wed 06-Feb-13 13:05:49

lyndsey - that seems likely to be positive! i did a few of these and the doctor said if I've done a few and its positive thats taken as it is! so congrats!

lovesthechaos3 Wed 06-Feb-13 13:17:27

Hi Ladies, I am not under 23 i am infact 26 but I had my first son at the age of 17, he was a happy accident but I was thrilled, everyone expected me to fail but i didn't. Got my own place, a job etc, got back with my ds's dad and we went on to have 2 more sons with 2 years and 18 month gaps, so by the time I was 21 i had 3 young DS's. People can be so judgemental but sod them!!! My boys are now 9, 6 and 5 and they are amazing, bright, poilte and well looked after young lads and I am young enough to run around after them and am now training to be a teaching assistant (aswell as ttc for number 4) No one should look down on you for having babies young, i had it ALOT. As long as YOU AND YOUR PARTNER feel ready then good luck to you all smile

bebebuttons2 Wed 06-Feb-13 13:45:24

Awh thanks Loves this has really helped me feel better about this. I realize I'm going to be judged a lot by older women, but I've learned not to care what people say about me. If I can't cope, I'll get the help I need, but I'll never let my children suffer for me having kids young and I'm pretty sure I am going to be succeed with my plans and not fail.

bebebuttons2 Wed 06-Feb-13 13:46:21

btw way what does DS mean? it's the one abbreviation I cannot work out!

lovesthechaos3 Wed 06-Feb-13 13:50:47

sorry DS is 'dear son' took me ages to learn the lingo on here haha!

Locketjuice Wed 06-Feb-13 13:51:29

I'm a young mummy wink due second in August smile

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