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a safe sanctuary for larger ladies who are ttc!

(89 Posts)
acsr1987 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:03:25

im starting a new thread for ladies who dont want to be judged about being a chubster, and to know the hurt it feels to be told your too fat to get pregnant, yet see heffers bigger than u with their babies. to be comfort eating because yet again your af has come. to try really hard to shift the buldge but only get a few pounds off.
im here for you ladies....
no skinny minnies or put downs please or we will squash u with our big fat arses!!!!

gollygosh123 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:14:58

bump as was helpful !

JaquelineHyde Tue 05-Feb-13 23:35:07

Mumma there have been some very valid points made that on a thread soliciting advice and opinion on trying to conceive when over weight would have been welcomed and discussed openly.

However, this is a support thread for ladies who already know and understand the risks involved and have made the decision to continue to try and improve their health whilst trying to concieve.

It is unhelpful and down right nasty of doc to come on here telling us how selfish we all are for doing that and then making a direct link between being over weight and having a still born baby.....a really nice touch when I am due to give birth in a matter of weeks!

JaquelineHyde Tue 05-Feb-13 23:28:00

Oh dear the crazy doc is back... Ignore, ignore, ignore ladies, if you feed the troll you only make it stronger.

Weight can be changed for the better but sadly nasty little attitudes can't be and they tend to be far more dangerous unfortunately.

Being the heaviest woman on this thread (having already lost 8 stone) and 29 weeks pregnant, please believe me when I say it is possible to concieve and have a wonderfully healthy baby.

OK, ok it isn't perfect but quite honestly hardly any pregnancies are, do everything you can to be as healthy as you can and keep up the shagging grin

Oh and just so you know my consultant has said my pregnancy is pretty damn perfect, my latest growth scan was text book perfect and he said he hadn't seen one so spot on. No problems with blood tests, urine samples and my blood pressure (apart from on one occassion) is perfect.

Don't know about you lot but I'm more than happy to listen to a qualified consultant, who knows me and my past medical history and ignore some crazy internet loon. grin

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 23:17:35

Here here gum.
Mumma...i think the point really is that as the thread title implies...its supposed to be a safe haven, somewhere for support and encouragement. That is all.

Mumma1989 Tue 05-Feb-13 23:13:32

At the risk of getting flamed here, I think some valid points have been made on this thread. I don't really get how a person is so bad for disagreeing with TTC whilst being at a high BMI? Surely it's common sense and rationale that you don't try to embark on a pg when you aren't in good shape?

hopefulgum Tue 05-Feb-13 22:44:00

I have just read this entire thread and I can't believe how judgy and nasty some posters are (thinking dog with a bone).

To categorise all overweight women as a time-bomb of health problems when ttc and pregnant is a simple and limited view. So many factors are involved and although, statistically there may be extra risks associated with pregnancy in overweight and obese women, it does not mean that being thin = no problems.

I have had three miscarriages and I recall reading, after the first one that being overweight may have been a factor. I was devastated to think I might have caused the miscarriage because I had a BMI of 30. However, my doctor was able to reassure me that it was highly unlikely that it caused my miscarriage and in fact it was a chromosomal issue related to my advanced maternal age.

I know some people consider me to be irresponsible to ttc at my age as there a risks associated with advanced maternal age, but it won't stop me. Frankly no one has the right to interfere with my decisions about my fertility, that's entirely up to me.

It has been a long hard road with the miscarriages, but I have actually reduced my BMI since the last miscarriage to about 28.3, but haven't conceived since(I last miscarried in May '12). Clearly my weight isn't contributing to fertility issues, it is my age.

If infertility is due to lack of ovulation, and that is caused by being overweight, then perhaps one has to consider weight as a factor, but if you are ovulating, then it is unlikely that weight is contributing to problems conceiving.

Good luck to everyone ttc, I hope everyone gets their longed-for babies soon. Everyone here would clearly love a baby and size makes no difference to your capacity to love a child.thanks

bugoven Tue 05-Feb-13 22:22:24

2 stones not 3. Stupid, fat fingers grin

bugoven Tue 05-Feb-13 22:21:33

The thing about food is it's essential. Trying to give it up completely is dangerous and even meal substitutes are likely to damage your metabolism and result in regaining all of the weight lost or more. In deciding to TTC I have happily given up smoking completely and drinking alcohol completely but still have to eat! This isn't simple for me and I'm sure it isn't for any of you.
I want to be a mum so badly I would never eat again if that was the answer! Unfortunately I've gained 3 stones TTC because of my new healthy habits.

gollygosh123 Tue 05-Feb-13 21:25:02

'I would rather treat a heroin addict who wants to change their life and is making a conscious effort than some obese women who continue making excuse for themselves and refuse to hear the truth


GoSuckEggs Tue 05-Feb-13 21:24:30

of course we will scotty, just as soon as you think twice before you post knob-ish posts in future. X

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 21:03:34

Happily calibee. Evening all. And I genuinely hope you think twice about TTC when being obese. X

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 21:01:24

Shush now scotty....

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 21:00:29 scotty have you been reading any of the actual posts on here?? The majority are from ladies already embarking upon healthier lifestyle choices. However only another overweight person would understand the challenges that this creates. Hence "support" thread. Good night and good luck to you too wink

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 21:00:21

Calibee Use your brain and read back through my posts. When have I been unprofessional once? You and others are severely over sensitive to the point of it being a real issue. I would rather treat a heroin addict who wants to change their life and is making a conscious effort than some obese women who continue making excuse for themselves and refuse to hear the truth. It's a sad reality but has opened my eyes even more to the facts.

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:56:25

It's unreal how defensive some of you are and it's pretty hurtful actually. Unless you have a real resolve to do something about your weight and give your baby the best possible start in life by being healthy, you will continue to be your worst enemies. You see anyone who dares give you some well meaning advice as a threat and that's very sad. Support each other by all means but don't kid yourselves that things will automatically be successful or how you expect. Good night and good luck.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:50:59

thanks cali, im going on slimfast diet as of tomorro, i had a shit day at work today everyone going on about pregnancy and babies, im going to throw everything into losing weight and humping like a rabbit lol

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 20:49:50

scotty is NO gp believe me. No GP would speak so out of term and in such an unproffesional manner. That I know!!!

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 20:48:15

acsr I just dont think scotty has too much capacity to think beyond the box they find themselves trapped within. Dont worry.
Let us get back to being supportive of each that being in our efforts to eat healthily and exercise more or in supporting each other through the losses we have endured. Being overweight indeed may cause problems with conception ...however it has never (as far as I know) been proven to cause miscarriage (unlike smoking and alcohol). Infact I think that would be a very difficult statistic to justify.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:44:38

i dont care if u are a gp, your not MY gp, and at the end of the day i think you are just saying things to get a rise out of me and others so from now on ill be ignoring you

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:41:50

How do you not know I am a GP myself? And I don't condone a professional advocating someone such as you in a vulnerable emotional state to conceive. PND risks as well as general physical difficulties would be the main reasons. What is it that I say that you find so hard to hear?

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:38:26

obviously you know what is best for me, even tho my gp thinks it is the right thing for me to do, but obviously you know best.. thanks for that

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:34:28

I've lost a baby too OP and so have many, many others here. At some point you have to take responsibility and face the grief, and get whatever help you need. That could be counselling or good therapy, which I highly recommend. I don't think, from how you speak on here, that you have dealt completely with everything you have been through. You say you don't care how much you cost the NHS, or how you are TTC whilst being obese, and with all respect that is not right, however you feel. Wouldn't you like to start TTC at a healthy weight and feeling much better about yourself? Everyone is capable of it, including you.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:26:39

yeah and my baby died last year, ive put on weight because ive ate my fucking feelings... because my baby died.... i want to get pregnant again ... if im fat i dont care... if i cost the nhs thousands... i dont care... all i want is a baby, look u are not being kind u are being a bossy boots and to be fair all these fat girls on here are just going to ignore u anyway so i wouldnt waste ur time

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:24:30

Sometimes OP, tough love is also kindness. Too much pussyfooting around and making constant excuses has never once solved any problem. You think I don't comfort eat? You think I'm not a good few pounds, even a stone overweight? It's normal in people, male and female from all walks of life.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:16:47
maybe you should read that, that may explain why ladies comfort eat and get fatter and how negative comments can make them feel even more shit. everyone on this thread is well aware of the health implications u have stated but these ladies are also trying to lose weight aswell as achive a natural desire to become a mother. why dont you cut them some slack its not your life or your baby. its their choice they just want abit of support and wether u agree with it or not its the situation we are all in on this thread so please if u dont have anything nice to say can u just not? because there is a reason for everything and we all need some kind words when going through some shitty things

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