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Elderberry Pavlovas And The Eternal Sausage of Wang (Part 4): a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

(996 Posts)
viviennewestwould Fri 25-Jan-13 18:58:59

Over here, sausage-wangers!

SidneyBristow Sat 26-Jan-13 08:25:47

Ahh there goes my calm, cool collectedness - sending out the brat signal (weak attempt at sausage joke), HELP!

CBFM says I'm still at deacon LOW even though I'm CD 12 - is this normal?

I'm pissed at it bc it told me I was Cd 11 when I first got up, and no test was needed. Now I've gone to the bathroom, and it has changed it's mind.


Ps happy bday Bunny!

Bunnygirlie Sat 26-Jan-13 09:51:08


I guess mother nature didn't get my birthday list, instead of a baby she bought me .... (drumroll please) yes you've guessed it she bought me ovary ache and AF [angy]

happylass Sat 26-Jan-13 10:05:27

Happy Birthday Bunny. Have a lovely day!

Sorry about AF. I got the same this morning sad. At least you can have a few birthday wine

happylass Sat 26-Jan-13 10:33:43

Oh and to top it all off my phone just started playing some weird fanfare music and I'm like wtf confused. There's only a message on there from my iPeriod app saying "Period 1 day late. Pregnant?". Talk about taking the piss!
<hurls phone across room>

viviennewestwould Sat 26-Jan-13 11:05:22

[rubs sausage-inflicted wound delivered by the surprisingly violent Twinkle]

Captain grin (you always make me grin)

Hey, Sidney, your symptoms, constantly smelling things nobody else could, cripplingly tired, terrible backache in my lower back, I have those all the time due to giving up smoking and being fucking old.

Pip, whassup with your hubby? Doesn't he want to move? I love viewing houses especially if there are items worthy of stealing

Aquarius the Sausage Shuttle is indeed a sausage-inspired means of aviation, shaped like a phallus, with a destination called Sausage-Wangers Paradise. The Sausage Shuttle is not to be mistaken for the Sausage Shuffle; a dance involving a conga line of Elderberry Pavlovas shuffling around the room wanging the person in front with a sausage.

Happy Birthday, Bunny!!! [drapes string of sausages like a sash around Bunny's neck]

Mother, laughing my head off grin

Happy, it is particularly torturous to get your period late (mine was two days last month). I'm so sorry, love. Sorry about yours, too, Bunny [runs off to find more robust sausage with which to beat off approaching AFs]

Sidney, ignore the shit CBFM, it is probably having a mid-life crisis. At CD12 everyone should be shagging (except for me and my floppy-schlonged lover).

I am off to Sausage-Wangers Paradise for lunch and will probably stay for the evening if there are enough of you to join in the Sausage Shuffle. See you there!

twinklestar2 Sat 26-Jan-13 11:37:29

Happy birthday bunny!

So sorry she got you happy sad

Sidney what day do you usually OV? It's prob worth dtd tonight just in case.

2cats222 Sat 26-Jan-13 12:46:18

Happy Birthday Bunny

Just made myself very angry browing a first cycle TTC thread where 4 people got BFP's on their 1st cycle. Fuckers. (And congratulations and all that you lucky bastards)

viviennewestwould Sat 26-Jan-13 13:03:14

2cats, reading a TTC first cycle thread is tantamount to self-flagellating with a giant bratwurst. Stop it.

Aquarius1 Sat 26-Jan-13 13:19:03

I second what viv said 2cats step away from that thread

Happy birthday bunny and commiserations you and happy re af-ness

Viv thanks for clearing that up re the sausage shuttle / shuffle wink so next time I need a telling off via the medium if sausage I'll get shuffling then....

Aquarius1 Sat 26-Jan-13 13:19:58

The medium of sausage

Darn sausage fingers

Thundercatsarego Sat 26-Jan-13 14:28:27

<dribbles on self with hunger at all this sausage talk>

Happy birthday bunny!

Boodle9 Sat 26-Jan-13 17:21:51

G'day, sausage-wanging virtuosos. Chortling away at 'sausage hoooooooo!' and doing the 'sausage shuffle'! grin at Captain and Viv!

2cats - what on earth were you thinking? Back out of that TTC first cycle thread, shut the door and double-lock it behind you for good measure.

Happy birthday Bunny. I hope you are able to have a good day, despite AF trying to spoil the fun. She's the sausage-wanger's nemesis.

Bunnygirlie Sat 26-Jan-13 19:10:57

Thanks ladies! I intend on having a few [Wine] tonight, will give booze up tomorrow!

happy that is one evil app, I use it too but have only been early since using it!

Got few friends round tonight so shall leave you to it, I did some cocktail sausages in your honour!

MotherOfCleo Sat 26-Jan-13 20:25:01

<returns with full cumberland sausage whirl, fully prepared for sausage wanging battle.....and as I like cumberland sausage it doubles as a sneaky snack too, bonus> grin

I'm sorry happy oh an no good can come from that iphone app, damn thing needs to catch a virus asap! hmm

I was all positive and hopeful that this was the month but <warning symptom spotting....viv look away! and if you dont look away please dont tell me off > yesterday I went to my usual bowka gym class and had to run to the loo half way through as I honestly thought I felt AF way too early thankfully it was just heaps of CM, but when I got home I had deep pinky brown when i wiped and a small clot....that cannot be a good sign sad
I'll wait an test an hope but it burst my bubble a bit.

MotherOfCleo Sat 26-Jan-13 22:49:32

geez, my fella turns 27 tomorrow and after being asleep on the sofa for 2 and a half hours he's gone to bed.....what a crazy cat I bagged myself grin

captainmoll Sat 26-Jan-13 23:47:07

You freaky bunch of tele-hormonising mind-controllers. I'm synching with you all - AF turned up 5 days early today! An unheard of 26 day cycle! I've never had one so short!
I totally blame Viv's reckless bratwustery. wink

Not that I'm bothered since we're not allowed to make babies at the moment anyway on account of surgery.

Happy birthday Bunny!
Mother, still fx for you..

captainmoll Sun 27-Jan-13 00:01:17

Also just spent several hours with a lovely group of old friends - two babies present and one due in 2 weeks - and I did not cry.
Do I get a lollipop for being brave?

Bunnygirlie Sun 27-Jan-13 00:20:37

captain very brave, no lollipop though, how about some thanks

Another cycle buddy, yay!

I think it's about time for a list, I love lists, an update list of who is where in their cycle etc...

Bunnygirlie Sun 27-Jan-13 00:23:38

CD2, 9th cycle - Bunny, just 33 (eek), married, have 2 furry babies and work in a boring office job.

retroelement Sun 27-Jan-13 07:32:24

retroelement, age 35, cd35 (AF due tomorrow), cycle 6.

Up ridiculously early for no reason.

Soph80 Sun 27-Jan-13 07:46:30

retro - me too, 6.30 this morn! Perhaps our bodies are practising for all our early baby starts!

happylass Sun 27-Jan-13 08:41:54

Morning ladies. Apologies for the ranting yesterday. Feeling so much more positive today. Probably due to the copious amounts of vino consumed last night grin. Nice to see we have a few more cycle buddies. Captain I have a 26 day cycle too! Adding myself to the list....

retroelement, age 35, cd35 (AF due tomorrow), cycle 6.
CD2, 9th cycle - Bunny, just 33 (eek), married, have 2 furry babies and work in a boring office job.
Happylass 34 (but not for much longer boohoo) CD2 of cycle 6. AF due Feb 21st

MotherOfCleo Sun 27-Jan-13 08:42:37

captain thats a seriously short one! I had a 35 day followed by a 25 day before, really annoying! sad Its the reason I started using OPKs as we dtd at the totally wrong time on the 25 day month. So frustrating! At least you didnt have to wait for the old boot to arrive, a new month has started, I have high hopes for you this month smile

MotherOfCleo, 29, ttc#1, month 4, bfp due 1 feb (fx)

Soph80 Sun 27-Jan-13 08:48:14

Happylass - ranting is totally acceptable here!!!! smile

Adding myself:

Sophie80, 33 ttc#1, month 19, AF due next week (not sure of date as some scumbag has nicked my phone!)

viviennewestwould Sun 27-Jan-13 10:03:00

[hands Captain a sausage instead of a lollipop]

Viv, 41 (fuck off!) 5DPO, 11th cycle since mmc, champion sausage-wanger, nice tits.

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