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TTC and a teacher?! Join me!

(286 Posts)
HopefulFairy Wed 16-Jan-13 20:58:35

Good morning (evening) Miss/Mrs MummyToBe!

I don't know about you, but I'm finding it hard to balance teaching+TTC. Too tired to DTD as often as I think I probably should be+so overwhelmed with the job that I'm filled with lots of negative thoughts+feelings all the time sad

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to be less stressed if I want to conceive but find that an impossibility.....unless I resign!!

Any other teachers out there feel like this?

Thatssofunny Fri 18-Jan-13 11:11:24

We've got a well-deserved snow day, but DP's school is open. He was anything but pleased about that. However, he only works half days anyway...

marshmallowqueen Fri 18-Jan-13 17:24:11

Hello, I am in! I am also a secondary teacher, lovely school but lots of pressure to get excellent results. TTC for 3 years now, 36, after much wrangling have recently had tests and am waiting for an appt to review results. Thinking and hoping we are going to be offered IVF. Completely agree with the too knackered to DTD. Partner also has stressful job with funny hours so can be v frustrating. I have just gone part time, 4days, to try to reduce stress and I have been having acupuncture once a fortnight for past 6 months. No joy yet though but thought I'd share a couple of things I have tried for stress relief. What's everyone doing for the weekend?

Thatssofunny Fri 18-Jan-13 19:58:32

I have planned to go swimming...and I mean doing lengths and going to the spa for a break and just clearing my head. I love swimming, but I never seem to manage to go, my goal is to go at least once a week. The club I go to is "adults only", with dimmed lights and a calm atmosphere. Love it. (I go swimming with my class, but that's slightly different.) Unfortunately, atm, loads of people are going and it's really busy. I don't want to see people after work. I see people all the time at work.

Additionally, I'm trying to get out of school by 5pm. I take marking with me and generally work at home for quite a while anyway, but I get more work done on my sofa. At school I'll just find someone to chat to. wink Then it's half 6 in no time and I've got an hour's commute and my marking is still waiting to be done...shock

sparkle9 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:28:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILoveMyCats Sat 19-Jan-13 10:23:04

Hello! I'm a primary teacher now working as a TA and ttc. I completely agree with all previous comments. There is still some stress as a TA (not to mention the pay), but at least I don't have to bring stuff home. I do feel for you all. I'm considering going back to teaching, but have that hope of a bfp that will mean i should stay put. I'm bored in my role and want to take on more, but in a school that means stress!
This is our 4th month ttc and I'm going to start using the clearblue fertility monitor next cycle, as I have long and irregular cycles after coming off the pill. A good book to read is 'the Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant' by Jean Twenge. She gives a lot of good advice about OPKs and monitors and the effect of stress (which isn't as bad as you'd think). It's very reassuring and does not recommend living an unachieveably extreme healthy lifestyle. Also impossible when you're a teacher. It's a quick, funny read.
Good luck to you all, hoping for more snow days next week.

Bajas Sat 19-Jan-13 12:34:40

Hi can I join?

Am 38, DH 40 and ttc number 1. (I know we've left it late but only met a couple of years ago and got married this summer

I'm a hod in a secondary school and DH is an a and e nurse so both in stressful jobs and when you add in his shift patterns we don't always dtd as often as we should!

Just finished with open nights and ETI (NIreland version of OFSTED) so that should reduce the stress a bit.

No snow days for us so far as it only started here yesterday but did take 4 hours to do a half hour journey home from work yesterday (living at the top of a steep hill caught up in city traffic didn't help!)

Really thought I'd get a bfp this morning as am on day 39 of cycle and usually have 24 day cycles but it wasn't to be. Wish af would hurry up now so we can get trying again!

HopefulFairy Sat 19-Jan-13 12:45:44

Afternoon all+a very big welcome to the thread. I knew there would be lots of teachers in a similar boat! The nature of the job is such that it seems to make the whole TTC thing even more of a challenge sad.

I've spent the morning reading 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' by Toni Welscher. Has anyone else read it? Does anyone else chart their temps or fluid? Think I'm gonna give it a go next cycle if the elusive BFP doesn't arrive as hoped for this time. Feel like I'm not doing enough to make it happen, either through a lack of DTD or a general ignorance about other things I should be trying/looking out for. Is it just me who feels like this?

Boodle9 Sat 19-Jan-13 13:07:16

HopefulFairy, I have been temperature charting on 'fertility friend' for quite a long time and (in my humble opinion) I have found it really useful for pinpointing ovulation. I have a clear cycle pattern that has emerged...unfortunately, it's not one I particular want to see; I have a 9 day luteal phase! sad

Along with temping, I also use cheap OPKs and keep an eye on fluid, though I don't always record that on my chart. I know some people don't like temping and I have seen many reasons given in other forums. All I can say is that I find it quite easy - set my alarm half an hour early, stick the thermometer under my tongue, wait for the beep and then doze straight back off! I have a thermometer that stores the last temperature taken and you can retrieve it by pressing and holding the 'on' button. That way you can just look at the temp and record it when you're fully awake.

On the feeling of not doing enough to make it happen...I'm the opposite! We've done lots but still nothing. I KNOW there's something up with my cycle, we just have to find WHAT exactly it is.

marshmallowqueen Sat 19-Jan-13 14:06:25

I have never tried temping Hopefulfairy as I have always thought it would be a real faff and another thing that I would get stressed about! I think the bottom line for me is that I don't ovulate every month. I have tried the sticks before but just end up getting very down when it's a month where I don't ovulate. I have a regular 28 day cycle so our method has been just to DTD as much as possible between days 5 and and about 16 but like you say it's not always possible!

Bajas I will be 37 in April and have several friends that have had their first at 39 and 40. We still have plenty of time : ) My only advice would be to see your doctor if things aren't happening after about 6 months of trying and don't let them fob you off. I lost at least a year being told just to "relax and forget about TTC and it will probably happen" by my doctor. Because it's that easy to do that!!!!

Anyone on wine tonight or are we all clean living TTCers?

Bajas Sat 19-Jan-13 14:33:30

Thanks marshmallowqueen. I have a couple of months to go before seeing doc although it's hard not to stress out about it all.

I'll definitely be going for the wine tonight grin

marshmallowqueen Sat 19-Jan-13 14:46:06

I know Bajas and when people tell you to 'relax' you just want to smack them smile! I obviously don't know what your doctor is like but I have found out that with the NHS you have to be pushy otherwise you get nowhere. I am not a naturally pushy person but I have had to learn to be! I don't like it but it seems to be the only way sadly.

I am trying to be good with the alcohol thing but I am on day 28 of my cycle and I just know AF is about to get me so I think I am going to have to give in tonight.

Currently pretending to lesson plan while trawling mumsnet/facebook lesson planning for Monday. Deep joy!

marshmallowqueen Sat 19-Jan-13 14:48:16

And anyway Bajas you may not have to see the doctor at all. Good luck!

doobeedee Sat 19-Jan-13 14:48:18

I've been charting for ages. It works even though I'm a really bad sleeper. It's how I found out about my short luteal phase and rubbish attempts at ovulating. Although I do ovulate, it's not very strong and this causes low progesterone in the LP. If I wasn't charting, I wouldn't have known this and would have edited longed to go and get help. For this reason I love charting!

doobeedee Sat 19-Jan-13 14:49:15

That should have said "waited longer" stupid fat fingers!

sparkle9 Sat 19-Jan-13 14:50:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boodle9 Sat 19-Jan-13 14:52:04

doobeedee, have you assumed poor progesterone levels based on your temperatures, or is that something you have been 'formally' diagnosed with?

i suspect this is my part of my problem too.

Boodle9 Sat 19-Jan-13 14:56:15

sparkle9 - I suspect most people are naive when they first start out with TTC; I know I was! Most people never have to worry about this as they fall pregnant within the first few months. It was only when things didn't seem to be happening that I started taking things like OPKs and temping seriously.

Knowing what I know now, I'd probably tell people to start getting more sussed up with their cycles as soon as possible because it can't hurt! If pregnancy happens quickly and it was a waste of time well, so what? On the other hand, if TTC proves more difficult (and fingers crossed that it's not for you) then you'll be glad you started looking into it as early as possible.

sparkle9 Sat 19-Jan-13 15:44:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doobeedee Sat 19-Jan-13 16:19:19

I've been tested on several cycles. Progesterone always around 3 when it should be 30 to confirm strong ovulation. My problem is that with the short LP it's almost impossible to get the test at the right time (7dpo) as by then my progesterone has already started to drop! I'm under a fertility specialist now and he agreed with me and has given me Clomid. First cycle had to be abandoned after 3 tablets though as I got a positive preg test even though I'd had a "period" and was told to stop taking them in case I was preg. It turned out to be a chemical pregnancy which has happened to me before (I suspect 3 times now) which means we are conceiving but just not implanting.

doobeedee Sat 19-Jan-13 16:23:40

Sparkle. Get "Taking Charge of your fertility" or just check out the website. You only need a cheap BBT thermometer from Amazon. You can log it all on Fertility Friend. If you have an iPhone get the app. It's free and does all the interpretation for you. When I went to see the fertility specialist he saw the folder I had with me and said "You must be a teacher. Teachers always bring me nice graphs to look at"!!!

doobeedee Sat 19-Jan-13 16:26:23

Boodle have you had your Thyroid checked?

riskit4abiskit Sat 19-Jan-13 17:00:04

Hello, I am a teacher, secondary too. I wanted to join the thread. Went to m and s and bought many bottles of cut pricee mulled wine on Thursday, got home and POAS just in case before I started drinking said wine.... And bfp! Am still in shock. Anyways I was just dropping in to say good luck to everyone and if you create another threadfo graduates I will certainly join.

Bajas Sat 19-Jan-13 17:02:40

Ah congrats riskit

marshmallowqueen Sat 19-Jan-13 17:07:02

Congratulations riskit. Let's hope that's the first of many bfps on this thread smile

Boodle9 Sat 19-Jan-13 17:17:38

sparkle, I've not read any books - have found the Internet to be more than enough to get the information I need. I hear a lot of people recommending the 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' book (mentioned above) for information about charting etc. but I've never bothered, personally. I probably would buy it if I didn't know what my problem was though! The mumsnet fora have been my classroom!

I've found this to be a perfectly good thermometer and then I just signed up for a free account on fertility friend: very easy to use.

doobeedee I've had my thyroid checked twice. Both times I was just within the current accepted upper limit. However, having done a bit more research, I have found that this upper limit is controversial and other countries (such as the USA) have a lower threshold, which basically means I would be hypothyroid if I lived there! hmm My progesterone levels have been OKish when checked (last one was 29.5) but 3 days later spotting starts and off we go again.

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