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TTC and a teacher?! Join me!

(286 Posts)
HopefulFairy Wed 16-Jan-13 20:58:35

Good morning (evening) Miss/Mrs MummyToBe!

I don't know about you, but I'm finding it hard to balance teaching+TTC. Too tired to DTD as often as I think I probably should be+so overwhelmed with the job that I'm filled with lots of negative thoughts+feelings all the time sad

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to be less stressed if I want to conceive but find that an impossibility.....unless I resign!!

Any other teachers out there feel like this?

barkingtreefrog Mon 25-Feb-13 21:19:51

Thatssofunny I really wouldn't worry about it (easy for me to say I know). It's not like the gossip has got hold of it before you've told the head etc, so you've got nothing to reproach yourself for. And don't waste energy worrying about who might have told her, it could be she overheard something. That's what gossips are good at! Unless the head has asked you to be discreet (and there shouldn't be a reason why you can't discuss your own business with whomever you choose) then there really isn't an issue, don't let yourself stress about non-issues, there are plenty of other things in school to get stressed about!
Have a biscuit! biscuit
I found myself running around like a headless chicken all day, and it wasn't until school finished that I started getting worried about picking up my results from the GP tonight! Which was nothing to worry about. She's referred us to the fertility clinic and said most people wait around 4 months for an appointment, but that we should get the letter with a date in the next 4 weeks so then we'll know when the next stage starts! smile

ILoveMyCats Mon 25-Feb-13 22:06:00

Thanks, barking. You are so right! I've had half a packet of biscuits, so great minds think alike!

Congrats on the referral!

Bearface Tue 26-Feb-13 16:00:33

IloveMyCats - how annoying! Barking's advice is really sound though. If she asks you about it again I'd be tempted to say that you can't talk about it and just let her draw her own conclusions. Then you've been as discreet as you can be. I agree with Barking that she could have overheard or maybe she knows someone who works at the school, but it's not worth worrying about. At my last job I didn't tell people I was leaving (apart from SLT and the Head of course) and then they saw the advert. It was all very awkward when they asked who it was!

Well done on getting the referral Barking!

Just waiting for a response to the job I've applied for now. Jeez, with the 2ww and TTC, and now jobs I feel like I'm always waiting for something!

ILoveMyCats Tue 26-Feb-13 20:20:20

Thanks for the advice, ladies. Much appreciated. I didn't do or say anything today as I don't think it's worth it. Interview date set as Thursday, and I haven't heard, so doubt I've been short listed, as they wouldn't expect me to get cover and plan a lesson with one day notice, would they?
I think I just need something to obsess about as I can't about ttc in this loooong random cycle. Bit low today. Tomorrow will be better.

Thatssofunny Tue 26-Feb-13 21:15:34

Never mind ILove, something else will come up and perhaps you'll like that one better anyway. I'm not holding out much hope, either. They didn't even press the button for the e-mail response, acknowledging receipt of my application. hmm

I could offer you some chocolate, which is what the kids in my class do when I'm feeling down. grin (I do have some nice ones, too.)

Good luck with the referral, Barking. What happens after a referral? (Just nosy, haven't gone through that process, yet.)

ILoveMyCats Tue 26-Feb-13 22:35:34

Thanks for the chocolate - just what I needed. I have a snoring cat on my lap, who is acting as a hot water bottle/security blanket combo. Difficult to type, tho!
It's a pain when you've decided to apply, take the time to fill the application, visit the school (especially with the ttc do I, don't I?), and they don't even acknowledge your email. You say wise words, but it does miff. Onwards and upwards.

barkingtreefrog Tue 26-Feb-13 23:03:36

thatssofunny I think the first thing we do is wait! GP said we should get an appointment with someone at the fertility clinic at the hospital in 4 months, so now waiting for the appointment letter. GP said the clinic will probably do an ultrasound and some more detailed blood tests. What I want them to do is give me clomid to try and bring forward my O as I have a ridiculously short luteal phase so I'm not convinced an egg could stick even if it got fertilised. I will have to wait to see how fast things move and how seriously they take my concerns about the LP. More waiting then, should be used to that by now!

Bearface Wed 27-Feb-13 09:55:34

Sorry that you haven't heard anything ILove and Thatsso. You say that, but one of my friends did only get a day to prepare for an interview and it wasn't even a full day. I think what happened probably was that she was number 5 on the list and number 4 pulled out, so she got a place for interview at the last minute.

I haven't heard either, but am really hoping that I hear something today as I'm going away on Thursday and could really do with knowing before then! It is really rude for them not to send an acknowledgement email, but hardly anyone seems to anymore now if it makes you feel any better. probably doesn't

Anyway, I think with jobs that if they can't see your potential bu shortlisting you, then it's probably not the place for you anyway. At least I say that and it makes me feel better. I do think it as well.

Barking - I've not had a referral, but in my experience and from what I've heard from friends and family, you have to really stand your ground and don't let them fob you off. If you have a real concern, then you must ensure they act upon it. Maybe take some written evidence i.e. where you have logged your cycles to show that you have a short luteal phase as 'proof'. It also shows you're serious. Bummer about the waiting, but as you said, it's all we seem to do when TTC!

ILoveMyCats Wed 27-Feb-13 17:37:57

Wasn't short listed. Bummer. So full of commiseratory biscuits, I have given myself stomach ache. Bummer.
Theatre company in school tomorrow morn, so don't have to deal with things too much. Hurrah!

Bearface Wed 27-Feb-13 17:43:28

Oh, sorry for you Ilove. Oh well, maybe something else will come up. Keep looking!

I've not heard anything yet either and starting to get a bit jittery. I wish they'd tell me either way.

barkingtreefrog Wed 27-Feb-13 18:44:10

Sorry Cats, but might have been a lucky escape. Schools are funny places and some you fit right into and some you just don't. Better to not get a job in a place you don't fit than to get a job and then find out it's not the right one for you. I've been teaching twelve years in six different schools. Three of them I loved (including my current school) and the first two I loved I only left for external reasons (ex partner and his job). Three I didn't like, and moved on after a year. This is why I'm adverse to my DP's idea of moving abroad, I don't want to leave my current school and end up in a bad one!!

I think this was obviously a bad fit, and means the good fit school is still out there waiting for you grin).

barkingtreefrog Wed 27-Feb-13 18:45:34

Bearface I have plenty of proof, have been charting since cycle 5 and now backing up charts with CBFM... I will be taking them plenty of shiny graphs and apps to look at! I even log my data into two different apps in case one of them fails me...

Thatssofunny Wed 27-Feb-13 19:01:32

Sorry to hear that ILove. I haven't heard anything either, so guess it's a "no, thank you". Oh well, their loss.

The witch arrived this morning. So gutted. Also annoyed, because it means I'll have to start with a new class in September now...even, if I get pregnant in the next few months. sad Had hoped for a long maternity leave, without causing too much disruption.

ILoveMyCats Wed 27-Feb-13 23:00:40

Thanks, ladies. It probably was a good thing. Just need to plan my next move now. More ttc!!
Good luck to job seekers.

barkingtreefrog Thu 28-Feb-13 18:25:34

Must be a teacher thing Thatssofunny - I do that as well! Every cycle I not only calculate the due date according to whether they'd be the oldest in the class or a dreaded "summer born", I work out which term I'd be able to work up to and whether I would still start in September with a new class and when in the school year I'd be back after maternity.... So sad really to be thinking so far ahead when 15 cycles later I haven't even got a BFP yet so really don't need to be even considering all that stuff yet!!!

Thatssofunny Thu 28-Feb-13 20:04:19

Yeah, I know, barking. It's a bit strange, I do that, too, to see whether it would fit in any way,...but I do like to plan ahead. Considering whether I could change jobs during mat leave. smile
I know I really don't want to take my class up to the next year (I believe I deserve a nice class, I really do...but then wouldn't want to leave them half way through)...but the ones, who'd be moving up to me are difficult, too. However, don't know whether I'm staying with my year group anyway,...

Bearface Tue 05-Mar-13 17:12:02

Oh yes, I think of that too Barking and Thatsso - definitely a teacher thing, but as you life revolves around routine, I think it's perfectly reasonable!

Good to hear you're armed for the consultation Barking - best of luck with it!

I got an interview in the end and went for it today. I still don't know whether I got it though. I really would like the job and think I did as well as I could do, but I felt there was at least one other strong candidate. DH said that it probably comes down to what they are looking for in order to fit into the department/school as opposed to assessing me per se. Everything went really well I thought. Obviously there's always things I'd like to change or have done differently, but hindsight is such a wonderful thing, isn't it? I fear I may be pipped at the post by one of the other candidates. sad

How's everyone else's job hunting coming along? Any TTC news? I'm mid-ovulation at the mo, so knowing my luck everything will arrive at once! I'd be happy if it did though!

Hope you're all well, ladies.

barkingtreefrog Tue 05-Mar-13 17:32:59

I think it's all about personalities when it comes to schools and recruitment. This is my theory on the huge turnover of staff that can occur when headteachers leave. The head recruits staff that fit with the school ethos and they can work with. The new head has their own agenda, their own personality, and generally wants to recruit their own staff.
I remember going for one job interview years ago where the head kept asking questions about what was essentially paperwork. Not one question about children and how to motivate them etc, it was all about the planning, the targets, the ticked boxes. I knew immediately that wasn't the school for me! I accept the paperwork needs doing, but it shouldn't be more important that what you can do in a classroom!!!
Once you've got to the interview stage and proved your competence, I think it's all about whether you would fit well in that school with what they need. I'd agree with your DH!

Thatssofunny Wed 06-Mar-13 21:38:32

Have you heard anything, yet, Bearface?

Waiting for ov again, which should be next week. And then waiting again...(goodness, I'm not a patient person at the best of times).

No jobs for me at the moment. Well, there's one at an independent school, which I'd like (it's the school I'd love to send my own future and as yet unborn kids to, if I can ever afford it), but it's initially a one-year temp contract. Not really a great idea when ttc, I think. It's come a few years early, tbh. Oh well.
On the positive side, my class have made amazing progress in Maths (have just put them through optionals). So proud of them. They are still annoying, but at least we seem to be getting somewhere. grin

Bearface Thu 07-Mar-13 17:21:00


Thanks for the reassurance Barking. Yes, Thatsso - I got the job!!! smile smile smile so I'm really pleased. I really liked the school and I think I'l fit in well. I hope so anyway. Not really sure where this leaves me with TTC, but as we have practically zero likelihood of it happening, I think we will just carry on and if it happens, I'll deal with it then. hmm

Glad you're making progress with your class Thatsso - it's satisfying when all your hard work begins to pay off. Do you have any idea why the school is only offering a one year temp contract? Maybe it might be worth finding out if they might be thinking about permanent after?

barkingtreefrog Thu 07-Mar-13 19:40:16

Congratulations Bearface!!! I know someone who got a new job then pretty much immediately got pg. She went to see her new head who was actually very supportive, considering she was going to be working only one term before going on maternity.
I saw my dream job advertised this week but didn't go for it as it's just not a good time to move, as well as the job being very individual rather than just class teacher, and not easy to cover for maternity. Still wondering whether that was the right decision but think I need to do a couple more years where I am first.

Thatssofunny Thu 07-Mar-13 20:11:13

Bearface Congratulations! That's great! smile Well done, you! thanks
Well, I think it's with a possibility of turning into a permanent job, but possibly not, if I get pregnant straight away. But it's fine. It's a big school and they've got jobs coming up regularly.

The one I had applied to have advertised again. Might not have found anyone they liked. Oh well. They've missed out on me. grin
It's great to see my lot make progress, especially because they are such hard work. It slightly evens out all the worry and irritation I suffer on a daily basis. grin

ILoveMyCats Thu 07-Mar-13 22:43:03

Well done bearface! Really great news! And am pleased about your class thatsso. Very gratifying.

Bearface Fri 08-Mar-13 10:06:52

Thanks guys! Oh dear, I typed a long message and then somehow got timed out - it wasn't that long!!! I am really happy. I now haven't got time to type my message again, but I'll come back and do it later. Thanks for all your support and advice though - it really helped. Plus, I was up against two men in my interview and was convinced I wouldn't get it, but DID!!! Yay for the ladies!

Happy Friday everyone and Happy International Women's Day! Hurrah for us!

Gooseysgirl Fri 08-Mar-13 20:26:02

Huuuuuge congrats Bearface grin Hope you're out celebrating!

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