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Five and the Mystery of the Declining Fertility - the BESH engage the services of the Famous Five to track down their baybees and finish with lashings of ginger beer. Topping!

(998 Posts)
ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 10:59:31

Morning everyone, just let me wolf down this amazing meal of tinned tongue, hardboiled eggs and ginger beer (don't you find food always tastes so much better outside?) and we'll toddle off on our latest adventure. We'll make sure Anne does the washing up (you'll make a proper little housewife and no doubt the fecund mother of four fine sons one day Anne <approving>) and us boys can have the proper adventures! No, not you George - you're nearly as good as a boy but not quite. Leave the actual procreating to me and Dick. Woof woof! Shut up Timmy!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 22:27:47

So sorry, I just badly badly phrased the dad thing. He is in hospital having more scans - CT yesterday (inconclusive), MRI tomorrow - no decisions or anything. Sister and I suspect that's what it is (vascular dementia). Every symptom fits.

And my car broke down today. Then it was fixed <pointless anecdote>

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 07:57:40

I say, ariel, what beastly luck <sympathetic> I hope the MRI is helpful and positive today.

jethro, is there any more news of the embryos? Are they all growing nicely?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 10:38:06

I have had IUI cancelled now again.

SinkyMalinks Wed 16-Jan-13 10:42:35

Why rie? Consultant issues again?

EuroShagmore Wed 16-Jan-13 10:54:06

Rie Sorry that you are mizz about your dad. I hope the MRI brings positive news.

WTF is going on with your IUI? It's only squirting some spaff up you ffs! How can the hoz be making it this difficult?!?

Jeff how simply spiffing! What good eggs!

I've had a tiny bit of spotting overnight, so Droid is on its way for me. And then it's on to IVF. Yay. But meh.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 11:17:41

No this time they say I need to get some allergy testing done. Which is only sensible I guess. But u do wish they had said this in November when I first said I was wondering about allergies preventing surface. I was told no, don't worry about that by the nurse. Now the consultant has said they won't do anything until they get the ressults. I have no idea how long an allergy test referral takes <throws things>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 11:18:34

Apparently the phone thinks the word surface is more common than diffage. Twat.

SinkyMalinks Wed 16-Jan-13 11:24:54

<passes ginger beer with gin chaser >

We'll set Timmy on them.

In all seriousness, this is what pisses me off. If you had been seen properly the first time, this would have been sorted or at least in progress. Instead you got a pat on the head from a nurse and now you can't move on.

Five go wild with four letter words.


EuroShagmore Wed 16-Jan-13 11:47:43

Wot Sinky said, particularly the last bit.

What allergies do you think might be preventing diffage (or surface)?

alwyn Wed 16-Jan-13 11:52:13


Awesome. Simply awesome. I personally like the Bottom term of "wankbiscuit".

rie, have some very un-MNetty hugs from me.

Work situation is picking up - had an initial phone interview this morning and have another face-to-face tomorrow. There are irons in fires and I'm feeling quite optimistic about getting something soon.

<hands round sardine sandwiches and home-made lemonade>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 11:59:04

I have quite a dramatic allergy every now and then but no one knows what to. No one has ever suggested allergy testing before, even though I was given an Epipen last autumn. I spoke to FC nurse yesterday and mentioned it, and she went away and spoke to the consultant who then said today he's not treating me until I have the testing results. This could take months and months and I am so worried about my age and crappy AMH levels. I started to cry on the phone and she said "I haven't upset you, have I?" Actually, yes.

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 12:37:41

Stupid wankwitted nurse! Why can't faify retrain as a speshul gynae nurse and look after us all? She would never say such a schtooopid thing.

Will it definitely take months, for certain? I know private iui funding might be hard, but could allergy testing be cheap enough that going fast and private might be an option?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 14:55:37

I don't know. I am currently too weary to think about it. Weltschmerz, that's what I have. Weltschmerz.

EuroShagmore Wed 16-Jan-13 15:29:33

FFS. Is it really too much to expect these clinics to get their flipping acts together? Grrrr.

Well, Droid has arrived here. I just called the clinic to book in for my day 6 scan on Monday. I reckon I'll be at EC a week or so after that. Eek. (Sorry Rie I hope you don't think I am rubbing it in.) I'm just a bit in shock that it is all happening, finally. This is cycle 28 for us.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 16-Jan-13 15:38:29

Oh Rie that's just utterly shit <hands over generous slice of homemade treacle tart & gin>. Honestly, you expect better of fertility "experts".

Sorry about droid Euro <hurls droid over nearest waterfall>

Any more news on the egg-lets Jeffers?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 16-Jan-13 17:14:08

rie that's beyond crazy! I hope they get themselves sorted pronto,

I dunno about gynae nursing....I can imagine it would be quite nice but I'm not convinced it would be any easier looking after you lot than my luffly demented patients hmm

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:19:38

But faith, we are nicely behaved middle class children with side partings and t-bar shoes! How could we possibly be any trouble?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 16-Jan-13 18:35:10

You keep disappearing and getting involved with criminals of the underworld! Yet you expect me to pack you up with homemade lemonade and picnics all the time?!

LPplusOne Wed 16-Jan-13 18:43:26


<takes deep breath to re-out self as a foreigner, yet again>

Never read any FF nor anything remotely Blyton but can I still have some of that ginger cake?


Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:46:15

Precisely, faith. We need a long suffering maid. I would very much like to be called Miss Northey from now on as well. And be allowed a go on the dinner gong.

Ok, ok, put the scalpel down wink

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 18:49:30

Does the plus one indicate you have laid, LP? shock

JethroTull Wed 16-Jan-13 18:50:37

Hags I need the collective power of BESH. We only have one embryo left. It's got to keep developing for us to have embryo transfer tomorrow. Please light a candle, throw some fish, say a prayer, send positive vibes etc. My new mantra for tonight is It Only Takes One.

Rie, just these xxxxxxx

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:50:59

I fink she has been plusone for a while, name-wise. Not that that means she hasn't laid now of course <interested>

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:54:17

<prays to God> <throws cod> <hopes she's got it the right way round>

jethro, you are damn right it only takes one, and we are with you and your embryo all the way.

Did they just phone?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 18:54:19


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