What happens when you ask your GP for help?

[MurderOfProse]

Sorry for the length, I want to avoid drip feeding!

We've been TTC our last for over 7 failed cycles/months now. With my children and all my miscarriages I always conceived within 1 cycle, occasionally two. Don't get me wrong, I know I was super blessed on that front, it was just the holding onto them that was the problem. Now I can't even get a BFP.

I've been charting to conceive and avoid successfully for 7.5 years, I know when I ovulate. My charts always look great - a clear rise after ovulation, and I've even managed to increase my previously short LP of 8/9 days to 13 days on occasion. I know all the right things to do, been using Preseed, Conceive Plus, B6, Pregnacare Conception, Agnus Castus (on and off - tried it both ways now) Maca powder, EPO, cutting right down on caffeine, giving up painkillers for my bad neck since I heard they mess with ovulation, trying nothing at all, you name it, I've tried it. I've a healthy BMI and I lead an active life. I'm an expert on things to try at this point short of witchcraft and my chart is now as close to textbook as I've ever seen it. But for what? Nada. BFN. BFN. BFN.

All around me people are conceiving "oops" babies and I'm just about ready to commit homicide if I hear another announcement.

Since conceiving my previous child I've had two open abdominal surgeries - a TAC (transabdominal cerclage) at 13 weeks pregnant, plus an elective c-section as a result of the TAC. Added to that I'm now getting close to 37 and before I was 34, and I've had endo lasered off in the past and polycystic ovaries.

I know 7 months doesn't sound like a lot, and it isn't for most people and I'd be the first to be making reassuring noises at others, but when you're doing everything right and past history (over six conceptions) have been instant, and with a medical history like mine, I'd be an idiot to think everything was still hunky dory in there. Something has changed and waiting longer and doing nothing isn't going to result in a BFP, I'm sure of that now.

I went to the doctor a few months ago and was fobbed off and told to wait until June. But that's not good enough. My life is on hold until we have this final baby (the family does not feel complete without him/her), my marriage is suffering and I'm slowly sinking into depression as it's taking over my life (please, no "just relax" as I will kill someone!! I was never relaxed with my others either). I want to feel like I'm doing SOMETHING even if it's just investigations at this stage.

I've booked another appointment for Monday. I know the NICE guidelines say if you're over 35 you only need to wait six months plus I tick several of their high risk categories due to my history, so I'm going to throw that at them this time.

I know I would not qualify for IVF (and with previous children I'd feel bad about using the funds even if it was available) but what do you think they might do? What should I ask for? Obviously some blood tests but I don't think they'll show anything much as I've done home FSH tests that have been fine and my temperatures seem to indicate I'm ovulating.

Are they likely to offer an HSG or laparoscopy, as one of my concerns is that endo has blocked the tubes, or debris from the surgeries has blocked them. Would they offer Clomid or Femara, and if so, would it be a monitored cycle? Will the GP offer nothing at all but refer me to a consultant?

I've been so lucky to have avoided this end of the great baby adventure until now, so I don't have a clue what to expect or what is reasonable to ask for, therefore any guidance and advice very welcome

[Happilymarried155]

Hi,
How old are you? Seven months isn't that long I know that isn't what you want to hear but they give the year guidelines for a reason, it gives people a reasonable ttime to concieve naturally, they can't be sending everyone for tests after six months. I know it's hard and the effect it has on your life is immense, I've never felt such sadness as I have over the last few months its been two years for us.

With regards to the doctor you won't be offered a hsg straight away you will be asked lots of questions, they will then book in blood tests for certain times in your cycle to check you are ovulating, they will book a sperm test for your husband. When these results come through they will refer you to the fertility clinic this appointment can take a couple of months, you then see them go through what you went through with the doctor and they then decided whether to redo bloods, book you in for hsg and redo SA (they normally do a few of these) the process can be quite frustrating and take a few months. We had hsg and then got sent away to try for another 6 months, we don't have any children yet :( it's so hard.

Good luck!

[MurderOfProse]

Thanks for your reply! I'm almost 37 and a history of things going wrong in that area so according to the NICE guidelines they should help on two counts, but not all doctors give a stuff about NICE from prior experience.

I'm guessing it's likely to take forever in terms of waiting for results/getting appointments etc before they track down (if they ever do) whatever the issue is which is why I'm so keen to get going when I am sure given my personal history something is up. Also anecdotally unless something is wrong, people who chart correctly normally manage within six months, usually less - I'd agree had we just been DTD at random that six months isn't enough. Unfortunately I know that doctors don't take charting seriously as how dare we know our bodies better than they do - I had one GP insist all women ovulate on day 14 once and I must be wrong about my dates, and that 98% of women never miscarry.

I'm cool with lots of blood tests and I do wonder if DH might now be the issue somehow given I've got my cycles better than they've ever been.

Sorry to hear you've been waiting two years with no baby at all. I know that must be much worse. I really hope the HSG helps in some way.. I've heard it can sometimes kickstart things. Good luck to you too.

[Happilymarried155]

There is no harm going back and talking to them again, I'm not very good and being firm. When they told me I had to wait another 6 months I just burst into tears!!! Had hsg a three months ago now and it doesn't seems to have done anything. Very frustrating that all our tests have come back ok!

Maybe go back and push for blood tests and SA that's the first step, then if anything comes back they will refer you straight away. Let us know how you get on! :)

[MurderOfProse]

That is what I am dreading the most - that all the tests are okay. You'd think it would be good news but not when it comes to this! I would have burst into tears at being told another six months too.. do these people not realise how much it affects lives? The fallout probably ends up costing the taxpayer a lot more in terms of depression and relationship breakdowns!

I could understand 3-4 months post HSG but six months is a bit much, especially as by that point most couples would be DTD at the right times rather than just being hopeful.

Yes, I'll ask for blood tests and SA. DH has never needed to have a SA before but it's just as likely to be something gone wrong his end statistically. After all the supplements I've been shoving in my body (ever tried maca powder? grim!!) and giving up on painkillers, coffee etc these last six months I'll be quite grumpy if that turns out to be the case!! But glad of an answer too

[RedRobin1]

Hi we were in the same position as you a few months back. I conceived on our third cycle but ended up as a chemical pregnancy. Finally on cycle 7 I was tearing my hair out as we had tried everything under the sun to get a bfp - trying, not trying, epo, grapefruit juice, all the pills you can pop, pressed etc but nothin worked.

We decided to go see the GP and told a little white lie that we had been trying for a year. Since then had blood tests done and all came back normal. I have mild pcos but ovulate every month so no concerns there. DH has had his SA and his came back with poor morphology and antisperm antibodies

I just had a Hycosy this month and we are now on cycle 9. For me ttc has totally been depressing and completely destroying and taken the fun out of starting a family. Just waiting for the bfp so I can finally look forward to being happy and content.

[MurderOfProse]

Thanks RedRobin! I do feel like six cycles is a bit of a watershed - you've gone beyond "oh, it's early days" into feeling something is probably wrong, especially when you've been doing all the correct things and then some. In many ways it feels like even longer as we waited a while to start TTC as we didn't want the DCs too close together.

I have to admit I am tempted by a white lie if only because GPs tend to treat you as if one size fits all, and disregarding the difference between shagging hopefully once a week, and charting with OPKs, using preseed etc.

Is there anything that can be done for your DH with his results? Does he take anything for it, given advice etc?

It is soul destroying, and it does nothing for a sex life that's for sure when it goes on this long. Even DH is getting fed up of it and that's saying something.

Good luck to you!