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Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

(993 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 01-Jan-13 23:20:41

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

Morien Wed 09-Jan-13 09:41:42

Morning all!

sparkly, I'm really glad to hear your news. May it be plain sailing from now on...

jbrd, good luck with your scan, will be thinking of you this afternoon. I think it'll be money well spent, just for you to have some clarity about what's going on.

Isabeller, hope you've managed to think of something to say in the card - I think it's a lovely thing to do (but hard...)

remnant, how are you feeling today?

I've got a tiny bit of brown spotting this morning so I assume AF is moving in (looks like I'll be joining you, greenlizard and quickdowntonson). I didn't test this month as I just didn't see the point, I've been so sure that AF was going to show up - not in a negative, 'I'll never get my BFP' kind of way, more just resigned acceptance that it's not this month. Today is CD35, and that's much more like my cycle length pre-MC than the 28/29 days I've had since, so maybe it's a sign that things are finally back to normal.

And on top of AF, I'm off work sick, having caught DP's virus - the dr told him it's a 'cousin of flu'. I felt worse and worse throughout the day yesterday, and today's worse again. So I'm snuggled up on the couch with a fleecy blanket and a book which my head hurts to much to read.

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 10:42:55

Jbrd, I am so glad you are able to have a scan today. I do hope it is good news.

Morien, sorry to hear you are feeling poorly,and about AF. I hope you feel better soon. I'm pretty sure I'll be joining you and lizard and quickdown with AF due in 2 or 3 days.

Here's to our BFP's showing up really soon wine

NewPatchesForOld Wed 09-Jan-13 11:50:44

morien sorry you're not feeling well. Just enjoy the rest, sleep and relax. At least if AF shows up you can, as they say, start a new cycle afresh.

Jbrd fingers crossed for today, let us know how it goes.

Much love to everyone else, sorry I haven't namechecked everyone but am typing and hovering and generally multi tasking.

I have just noticed a slight bloody stain on my underwear...very slight but there. None on tp at all. I'm now 6dpo so am hoping and praying it's implantation bleeding. Felt slightly nauseous this morning again, and am now ravenously hungry which is peeing me off slightly as I have been diligently following slimming world's plan. I am also exceptionally tired (a true symptom of pregnancy in the past for me). I slept very deeply last night - DP was awake all night tossing and turning apparently but I didn't notice a thing which is unusual for me as I usually sleep very lightly. Woke up absolutely busting to go to the loo.

Hope you all have a lovely (or at least restful and peaceful day)

quickdowntonson Wed 09-Jan-13 15:58:33

Quick question - does anyone know what normal FSH levels on day 5 of cycle are meant to be???
Sorry for the quick post, on my way out!

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 18:46:33

Jbrd...thinking of you...any news??

Newpatches still spotting?

Sparkly excellent news!!

Today I remembered that I am 41 and not 42 as I thought!!! smile
So need get a stick baby soon....

Love to allxxx

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 18:56:17


NewPatchesForOld Wed 09-Jan-13 19:00:35

grin...I immediately had images of all these lovely pictures of babies, as drawn by Lowry!

No notsoold it was just the one smear really, so far anyway but I have just had the biggest sleep on the settee!!! One minute I was lying down 'to rest my eyes' and the next 2 hours have passed, no dinner's been cooked and it's half an hour til DD2's bedtime! I also have a very strange ache in my groin and thighs, a bit like period pains I used to get when I was at school...haven't had them like that since I was 15. lol @ the age thing too...sadly I keep having to remind myself that I am 44 and not 24 as I thought!

Jbrd how are you?

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 19:04:37

That is very good newpatches as it is to be sleepy !!!body getting ready , right?? smile

NewPatchesForOld Wed 09-Jan-13 19:52:13

I hope so, I'll be gutted if I'm not. All signs are pointing towards a bfp, I remember this tiredness from my dc's. X

JBrd Wed 09-Jan-13 20:12:45

Hi ladies, thanks for the words of support. Well, the scan showed what I had been expecting - an empty sac still present, no heartbeat sad I'm relieved now that I know what the situation is, but slightly apprehensive about what will happen next.
Does the fact that I haven't passed the sac now make this a missed mc? I was really hoping to get away without any intervention, but I think that my chances for that are fading, and I'm going to have to have the ERPC confused

I'm also a bit disappointed with the EPU, so far I've been really happy with them. But the fact that they are not planning to scan me again, even though I have not passed any pregnancy tissue yet, have been bleeding for over 3 weeks and am still getting very strong BFPs surely would justify checking what is going on? Will give them a ring tomorrow, but I'm almost expecting that they'll tell me to wait until next week and then do another test angry

I would have been 11 weeks tomorrow, when do they start considering intervention? From what I have been reading, people go more or less straight on to ERPC when a mmc is detected, or am I wrong? Any chance that i will pass the sac naturally now? I really want to draw a line under all this now...

Sorry for all the questions, and not for name-checking! (Typing on the iPad is so uncomfortable)

CaliBee Wed 09-Jan-13 20:37:17

Oh jbrd I'm so sorry that you seem to be getting such a raw deal of things. I think in view of todays findings the EPU should be pulling their fingers out and sorting things out. Surely the risk of infection would be an indication at this point. You have been through more than enough and its time they acted.
I hope tomorrow brings some answers for you. Perhaps if you feel the EPU have let you down ask to speak to your GP or even A&E.....its time for action.

remnant Wed 09-Jan-13 20:58:38

I've been thinking of you all day. I'm sorry it's not better news.
Sorry I can't help with your questions x

twentythirteen Wed 09-Jan-13 21:41:59

Jbird, apologies in advance as am on my phone. I had a similar situation, and that makes me think they aren't intervening properly for you or are working under a misunderstanding. After my 12 week scan I was told to wait a week and then come back for the meds to bring on the mc but when I returned a week later they said I would have to wait a further week. A put our foot down and said we weren't happy with the decision and a got put through to the consultant who then booked the surgery. In the end I didn't need it as the scan poked things enough to start the mc, although I did need help to finish it. And they did call it a mmc.what you described makes me think they think you want to do this naturally perhaps, I'd give then a ring and clarify things. I'm sorry you're going through this.

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 22:12:14 are right to contact them tomorrow and to have an intervention (erpc) soon. If they are not moving fast enough go to a&e...the sac is still growing and your bfps will be strong. But waiting any longer is not viable ....
Sorry ...sorry...sorry xx

Irishmammybread Wed 09-Jan-13 22:14:02

JBrd I'm so so sorry things have turned out like this for you.
I'll just let you know my experience, don't know if it will help.
With my last miscarriage we found there was no heartbeat at a scan at 10 weeks but growth had stopped at 8w6d. I asked about the risk of infection if we waited for a natural mc and was told the risk was low, statistically it's low for any of the forms of management ,slightly higher for surgical than medical or natural. Having said that I wasn't bleeding at that stage so my cervix would have still been closed I presume.
I wanted to wait because the girls didn't know I was pregnant and I didn't want to have to explain going into hospital, it was the school holidays. Having already had two natural miscarriages I kind of knew what to expect too.
I was booked for another scan two weeks later but started with painful cramps a few days before and a sudden onset of heavy bleeding the morning I was due at the EPU. They told me the baby was still there,they offered me an ERPC again but as I had started they said I could well progress to a complete miscarriage on my own. I was booked for another scan in a week but went on to pass the sac etc about three days later.
So it was three weeks from the baby dying before it came out and the EPU even at 12 weeks weren't pushing to intervene.
Even with my first mc I had been bleeding for a few days before my scan and though the baby had gone the sac was still present and I wasn't booked for a rescan for a further 2 weeks(though I actually passed the sac 2 days later and they did check my blood HCG in the meantime) so they didn't seem to think there was necessarily a need to rush into intervening.
I was told if the pain was difficult to cope with or the bleeding excessively heavy to go to A&E.
In your case though you have already been bleeding for 3 weeks,so that must be draining for you, and you might feel you want some closure rather than waiting in limbo for the miscarriage to be complete.
I do think you should contact the EPU again and let them know the findings of the private scan and see what they suggest.

greenlizard Wed 09-Jan-13 22:34:35

So sorry jbrd. Hope you are ok in the circumstances. Xxx

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 22:57:33

Jbrd, so sorry you didn't get better news. I am so surprised they will let you go another week. You have been through enough. If you want to have an ERPC, then surely it would be kinder to let that happen ASAP than for you to wait to miscarry naturally. It can take a long time. I know with my mmc's I just wanted it properly over so that I could start grieving properly and start the ttc process again sooner.

Newpatches, things are sounding very positive for you. I hope you get a BFP.

12DPO here and certain that I'll see AF tomorrow or the next day. I was just having a look at all my charts. I have been charting since July 2009, though my fertility still hadn't returned as I was breastfeeding my son. So I have about 36 charts since then. I just can't believe I'm still on the wrong side of ttc. When I embarked on this journey I foolishly believed I would have a toddler by now! I wanted a couple of years between DS and the next one. He's now 4.5 and I wonder if I want a gap so big, but whether I do or not doesn't matter, I can't do a damn thing about it. I know I'm not pregnant this cycle because I am feeling PMT coming on - the sadness that yet again it is not my month. By the time AF shows herself I will no longer have the pity-party going on, but right now I'm just pissed off that I have to get back on that horse and ride (pardon the pun) yet again.

I still don't know what to do about the clomid. It actually hasn't arrived in the mail, so I guess even if I wanted to take it isn't here. But if it does arrive I am in two minds. Do I take it because I've tried everything else "natural" and my DH will not agree to donor egg and ivf? Do I take it as a last resort? Then I worry that it will dry up the last skerrick of wet cervical mucus I have and thin my endometrial lining as well? Do I risk having multiples (as if that'd happen hmm) or a large cyst? I just wish I could have been pregnant now and I wouldn't have to think about this anymoreangry

Sparkly - really pleased that DH has turned a corner. I hope it's smooth sailing from here on in.

LouBLou71 Wed 09-Jan-13 23:11:40

Am I in the right thread? 41 TTC for 2yr, MC 1yr ago. SWI, ovulation confirmed, on vitamin supplement, off caffeine & alcohol, DH on vitamin supplements, 3 previous preg. Can anyone offer any suggestions to improve our chances please? Feeling like time running out!!

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 23:37:07

Hi loublou...welcome!!
Absolutely the right thread!!! I never know anything but someone will come along and be wise to you...I just wanted to welcome you!!!smile

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 23:39:02

Sorry...loblou...I wanted to highlight you name and got it wrong....see??? Empty head goes loublou smile

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 23:44:45

Hi LouBlou -you are definitely on the right thread. Welcomegrin

Suggestions for improving chances? Wow, there are so many:

1. Start taking your waking temperature with a specific "basal" thermometer,and chart the results on Fertility Friend. this will give you a clear idea of your cycles and when you are likely to be fertile.

2. Use ovulation predictor sticks (cheapest ones are online)

3. Consider investing in a Clearblue fertility monitor if you want a good clear guide to when you are most fertile. This is not cheap and the sticks are pricey.

4. There has been talk of supplements that help with egg quality, but there is conflicting information. However the protocol usually involves: DHEA 75mg a day, Coq10 400-600mg a day. Some people also take myo-inisitol and L-arginine and melatonin. I don't bother with that, the supplements just cost too much! I have also read that these things help with fertility:Vitamin E, VIt D (you may want to check if you are deficient), royal jelly, extra folic acid,aspirin, maca, wheatgrass, manuka honey, fermented cod liver oil etc,etc.

5. Have you considered clomid? You could discuss that with your GP.

6. Alternative therapies: Acupuncture is great for fertility and overall health. I find it helps to relax me, which is useful as ttc is stressful. I believe some ladies have had good luck with reflexology. I think hypnotherapy is also supposed to be beneficial. Also, yoga and meditation might help.

7. There are upteen books written on fertility and fertility diets,and to be honest I think I may have read them all in the last five years. A common thread in all of them is that a diet that it high in vegetables, omega three fats (from fish, grass fed meat etc), and good sources of protein is the best option. For some people dairy is a good idea, but for others it is a no no. Traditional Chinese Medicine suggests that dairy products are "cooling" which is bad for conception. A cold womb is not good in the eyes of my acupuncturist. She's been trying to get me off dairy for years. I have been off it now for about 6 months and do feel better for it. But I think everyone is different.

Okay, now for some of the more crazy things one can do (I'm not admitting to having done them myself hmm):

-Buy a fertility spell from Mia angel - she used to sell them on ebay, but I think they banned her from selling spells so now she sells fertility jewelry but does spells elsewhere. I know someone who got pregnant three times with three of her spells, but miscarried each time (the two are clearly not related!)

-ask a psychic what to do. Mine said I'd get preggo with twins next month if I take the clomid. I 6don't6 actually believe her.

-wear fertility jewelry: pink quartz, moonstone, fertility goddess symbols

-Feng Shui the house and particularly the bedroom to allow conception (in other words: tidy up).

-drink gallons of nettle and red clover tea to boost fertility (tastes like pond scum, so it must be really good)

-complete a visualisation board (otherwise known as a "treasure map") with images of what you would like the universe to provide .I have seen one mine with pictures of positive pregnancy tests, bulging bellies and newborns.

Well that's all I could come up with for now.

I have tried almost everything (barring a fertility clinic). Perhaps at our age it is just a matter of being patient. I know how hard that is. sad

I have just realised my DH will be away during my next fertile phase, so next month might be a bust already. F*%$ing H$ll !!angry

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 23:45:26

P.S. - have lots of sex...I forgot that one wink

JBrd Thu 10-Jan-13 00:00:07

Hi LouBLou71, yes, you are absolutely in the right thread, welcome! Lots of lovely knowledgeable people here (not me, though - 41, 1 DS, ttc since August last year and currently having a mc - I've been relying very much on the wisdom of the ladies here myself!). Hope you won't have to stay too long grin

sparkly - so glad your DH seems to pick up, let's hope it stays that way! Definitively a move in the right direction.

hopefulgum I don't envy you and your dilemma! Have you spoken to your GP about clomid? I remember you said that she (or maybe it was your consultant?) was really nice and that you trust her. One always hopes that there might be a chance it will happen 'on it's own' and that taking drugs to help things along equals to admitting defeat... But on the other hand we have these amazing drugs available to us, why not utilise them? Just my opinion, but then again, I am a firm believer that modern medicine is quite a wonderful thing... How long would you be taking it, should you decide pro-clomid?
Hope that you can come to a decision that you are happy with!

Thank you for sharing your stories, Irish and twenty! I will call the midwife and/or EPU tomorrow to discuss the scan results with them. I had hoped that it would all happen naturally, but I don't think I could deal with waiting for that while carrying on as normal. Who knows how long it will take?! No way I could function at work like this... I have been putting everything on hold in the last few weeks, fortunately with the holidays that was quite easy to achieve, but it's getting more and more difficult now. I'm already having to push back because work keep pestering me with stuff. My poor DH and DS have been getting the raw end of the deal big time, it's not fair on them. And I want to make plans for nice things again - DH has suggested a mini-break in February, and we're invited to a wedding in Scotland in the summer - and I so want to start doing exercise again, I really miss it (was even contemplating doing the C25K like some of you!). All this will help me with the grieving process, so I am want to re-gain at least some sense of control and get on with my life. And I am keen starting ttc again... Am I delusional?

So if there has to be medical intervention, I'd rather have it sooner than later. No point going back to work to then have to take more time off soon after. I don't actually care about work as such, but they do need to know where they're at with me, either I'm there or I'm not.
Fingers crossed that the EPU will agree with me and start discussing options...

remnant Thu 10-Jan-13 00:27:04

LouBlou, welcome

Hopeful, I love your list, certainly a few more things on it than I've tried grin Haven't you tried cough syrup to make mucus more runny. A naturopath recommended lambs livers and spinach to me, instead of vitamin supplements, but I chickened out of the liver at least.
I'm very sorry about the impending arrival of your AF, and about your DH's plans to go away next month. That really sucks.

I've had a rubbish day, I started feeling shakey and cold, (rather than dizzy and flushed) then I had some cramping, and ever since I've been rushing to the loo to check for blood. None found yet.

quickdowntonson your asking about early symptoms, and given that I felt I'd missed the boat last month completely I really wasn't looking out for any. In retrospect though I had started picking up on smells (tmi, I was actually obsessed with the smell of dirty laundry, like it was much worse than usual). Stuffy nose too, strangely.

hopefulgum Thu 10-Jan-13 08:05:07

You know remnant, now that you mention it, when I was ttc our son after the vasectomy reversal, I did take robitussin cough syrup, and used preseed lubricant. I don't know if that's what did it, because I also took red clover tablets up til ovulation that month too. But I may have done it in earlier months when I didn't conceive., so who knows what the clincher was in the end confused It might have happened had I done nothing (apart fromt he sex of course) at all. It is mind boggling.

When I reread the list I wrote I realised that I have really given it my all, and seriously, there's not much else I can do, except work my way towards acceptance. That's the hardest thing of allsad

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