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Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

(993 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 01-Jan-13 23:20:41

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

greenlizard Sat 02-Feb-13 14:24:41

Ps. Irish I made a carrot cake which cheered me up because I love to bake and DP and his son enthusiastically eat whatever I dish up. I am just learning how to bake really (thank you Mary Berry and the Great British Bake Off!) so their enthusiasm is appreciated. SD is a little more circumspect about my baking but she loves my lasagne so that's alright grin

hopefulgum Sat 02-Feb-13 22:33:06

Greenlizard, all those symptoms sound very encouraging. There is still time for your BFP to show up. Sorry you got a nasty BFN though!

I have almost no symptoms now.And a temperature of 36.64 - not very promising at all. With all my pregnancies, the temp was up in the 36.9 range at this stage of my cycle.

Also, another BFNsad.

The cake sounds lovely, and in fact, I might make a carrot cake myself for "smoko" (morning tea) for the hardworking blokes building my stairs (Dh and a friend). I am very excited about getting these stairs built up to our deck outside, it will give better access to the garden from the house. Can't wait...

Irishmammybread Sun 03-Feb-13 00:01:30

Miasmummy how lovely to hear from you , I'm glad baby Finn is doing well. I'm sure you still must miss Mia very much,as her little brother grows there must be so many memories of Mia at the same stage.
I don't have any experience of ttc after a c section but hopefully you wont have to postpone it too long!
Greenlizard I enjoy baking too but have never made carrot cake, most of my efforts involve large quantities of chocolate!
Sorry about the BFN, you too Gum.
I must admit I compare my post ovulation temps with those of my pregnancy cycles each time too, trying not to get my hopes up too much if I can. I still keep hoping till AF actually arrives though!
Hi to everyone else! ( waves at Diege !)

CaliBee Sun 03-Feb-13 15:19:55

Good afternoon...well Dp safely deposited at the station. Its getting easier or is it just that I have had him home every weekend since Christmas and know hope that next weekend he will make it again? So I am now deposited on the sofa, complete with a Big Mac meal blush (comfort food) and an afternoon of rugby.

Raaa to the BFN's....but keep hope, its early days.

Lovely to hear from miasmummy and Fin sounds adorable.

To all the bakers....I envy you envy...I balls up every time I get the baking bug. I have much more luck with lasagna's and roasts to be fair. I find working full time leaves precious little time for things like cooking and baking. DS wont wait for me to get home from work so has usually prepared himself some food before I get home and DD is rarely around nowadays....working, boyfriend, you know the drill.

I had my final scan yesterday and pretty much got the all clear following the mc...I say pretty much as the sonographer saw a small fluid filled space still within, but they didnt seem concerned. They could also see a follicle on my left ovary....but my right ovary was as elusive as ever (same thing happened during follicle tracking). So its back to work tomorrow....really not looking forward to it though.

Some nice/exciting/scarey new tho....DP asked me to marry him!!!!! Eeeek

Morien Sun 03-Feb-13 15:20:07

Hello to everyone, hope you're all having a good weekend.

Isabeller, how are you? Thinking of you and your precious load...

And CaliBee? Hope you're ok.

sparkly you going to the doctor's tomorrow like you said???? [wags finger]

greenlizard, gum, sorry about the BFNs, but maybe in another few days? I'm on the 2ww with you, CD25 today (I gave in and looked back over the thread to find out when AF came). I do have some symptoms but they could all be for other reasons so I'm not getting excited, in theory that is. I've been sleeping like a log this last week or so (unusual for me), and am full of energy in the morning (more than usual), but come the afternoon I'm seriously exhausted (more than my usual after-lunch slump). I had some AF-type cramping 4 or 5 days ago but nothing since then. I've got bad wind (DP claims I woke him up in the night last night!) and am bloated. Have a bit of a sore throat and keep sneezing (a bit much on the heels of my flu 3 weeks ago). There's also an uncharacteristic aversion to alcohol. I'm trying not to drink much for ttc anyway so it's good, but normally I struggle a bit as I do love a glass of wine - right now there's no struggle at all, I just can't face the stuff. No point testing as, assuming I'm back to more or less pre-MC cycles, AF isn't due for another 7-10 days.

Morien Sun 03-Feb-13 15:23:08

Cross post, CaliBee - congratulations! (Did you say yes?) And I'm pleased the scan showed things are moving in the right direction. Best of luck for work tomorrow - I remember it being hard to leave my little bubble and go back into the big wide world.

Irishmammybread Sun 03-Feb-13 16:14:56

CaliBee !!!!!!!! Congratulations !!!!!!!
When do you think the big day will be? After all you've been through it's lovely to have some good news and some happiness.
Great that your scan showed the mc is almost complete, I too was told there was still some fluid/thickening of the uterine lining on my post mc scans but the EPU weren't concerned and said it would sort itself out when my AF arrived,you must be pleased you haven't needed any surgical intervention.
Good luck with going back to work tomorrow,take it easy if you can.
Morien those sound suspiciously like symptoms! Do you know what day you might have ovulated?

JBrd Sun 03-Feb-13 16:35:07

CaliBee Congratulations!!! How lovely! But did you say yes?!?!
And glad to hear that your scan is looking good. It's great that some nice things are happening after all the heartache of the last few weeks.

CaliBee Sun 03-Feb-13 17:02:48

Thankyou...thats very sweet of you both. I confess I didnt give him a very straight answer. blush
He has been teasing me since before Christmas with the "big surprise" he has for my birthday (next weekend). I of course have been picking at him to get information. Anyway, last night we were in quite a deep talk about the miscarriage and future plans for when he gets his posting at the end of his basic training in May/June time. Out of knowhere he asked me what I felt about getting married. Now, about the time we started to ttc (roughly 10 months ago) we had a similar discussion where I said I still loved the idea of marriage and that my parents had a long and happy marriage before Dad died suddenly.,,but that having had 2 failed marriages I was wary of taking that step again. He said he wasnt really too fussed about marriage either way. In Grenada where he is from it doesnt seem to be a big thing. So I thought little more about it. The only time I have ever mentioned it again was when I found out I was pregnant and said that the baby would have my arguments lol. He was fine with that. Any way ...he says that since he has been in the army he has changed (becoming much more British in his ways lol) and would really like us to be married. He was planning to propose on my birthday weekend but was a bit wary of my reaction....and also doesnt have lots of money for the expensive ring he had palnned on buying. At this point I did make it very clear that if I'm honest an expensive ring is the least thing I am after and that should we go ahead I would want the smallest of ceremonies....possibly just ourselves. No expense.I would just announce it to our families afterwards. Not being one for massively grand gestures he was more than happy with that. He then got down on one knee and asked me....I think he was taking the piss and I laughed it off. So, the outcome being that I have asked him to go away and have a very hard think about things. ...and then ask me again, when he has thought about it. With a very impish grin he said "ok..I will do that". I think that means he has made up his mind but will go along with me for now. So........we will see what he does next weekend.
Thankyou for the best wishes for work tomorrow. My biggest dread is that I work in a small team of 5. The main Pharmacist ...think Mr Bean...enough said. The second Pharmacist is very new, only there for 2 weeks before I went off. Now here is my problem...the other technician I work with!! Too put it nicely..she is spoiled, selfish, incompassionate and just totally evil. But all behind a very different face. I already know she has pulled her face at the fact that I have had over 2 weeks off. She even sent me a text last weekend saying she was sorry to hear what had happened, she didnt want to know any details but did I have any idea when I would be back as she wanted to book some holiday........!!! I just know there will be no sympathy and that my workload will not be in anyway lightened and any emotional outbursts will be frowned upon. Needless to say she is single with no children.
I'm sorry I'm now ranting.

greenlizard Sun 03-Feb-13 20:57:13

Ahhhhhh Calibee that is sooooo romantic. Your man is definitely a keeper! I am also really glad that your scan was almost clear - if they aren't concerned with the bit of fluid, I don't think you should be either. It's good that it passed naturally for you. Your work colleague sounds completely unempathetic ....I think her text says a lot about her and I don't know why but I feel sorry for her confused. She must be a very unhappy soul. Anyway I hope it goes OK for you tomorrow and though I am sure it will be a bit of shock - take it one day at a time.

Morien ha, ha ha! Welcome to Trumpety towers...I am glad it's not just myself suffering from the gusties but I have to say I am mightily impressed at you actually waking your DP up! grin

No more news from my 2WW camp. CD28 (normal cycle 26) 12DPO (and another BFN this morning). My luteal phase is generally 11-12 so I should be due today but no sign today. Cramping in my back and front last night and this morning. A bit of spotting after a particularly enthusiastic BD this morning (I don't know what came over me wink - poor DP was hardly awake!) I did take my temps before my antics and it had risen again from 36.77 to 36.87 but the way that I am feeling is that my AF should be with me anytime now. I am kind of resigned to it actually and I tested with a First Response this morning and I am guessing it should have picked it up by now.

hopeful how is the Australian branch of 2WW doing? Anything to report?

hopefulgum Sun 03-Feb-13 22:38:40

Congratulations Calibeethanks How exciting and lovely!
Pleased to hear that the scan went well. As for going back to work, I do understand your dread. If anyone is difficult, take a few deep breaths and picture yourself in a bubble of white light which cannot be penetrated by anyone nasty.

When I went back to work in 2011, I was starting again after my Mat leave, which coincided with about 2 weeks after my miscarriage. I recall walking through the school grounds when a silly teacher (male) called out hello and "you aren't pregnant again are you?". I have no idea why he asked (perhaps I looked pregnant), but he called it our from about 20 metres away,and I was glad he wasn't closer because it really upset me. Luckily noone else was around and I could just quietly go off to the toilet and have a little cry. He had no idea about the miscarriage and probably thought he was being a bit funny because I have five kids and most of the people I work with find that to be hugely amusing for some reason,and also think that I am a baby making machine. Huh! If only....sad

Morien, your symptoms sound quite promising, particularly your aversion to alcoholsmile. Greenlizard, I wouldn't count yourself out yet, your temperature is nice and high and there's no sign of AF within your luteal phase...I think there is still a chance. Not everyone gets a bfp by 12 dpo.

As for me, I know this cycle's a bust.Temperature nose-diving downwards, and the only symptom left is the tender breasts which I know will be gone tomorrow or the next day when AF turns up.

I am also a member on an American 40+ ttc forum and there is a lady there who has had her gorgeous little baby boy, at age 44, after a loss at 19 weeks, three miscarriages and two chemical pregnancies ( I think she was ttc from 2008 to 2012). I asked her if she thought anything had made a difference and she said it was just being patient. She had regular cycles, was temping and knew she was ovulating and just kept having sex at the right time. She also took vit D, muti vitamin and aspirin (I don't know if she took it everyday or in the tww, I will ask her). I think it really is a game of patience and the question is how long can I/we be patient without losing hope, and without it becoming an obsession.

My DS3 will start kindergarden today!shock I can't believe it. My wee boy is going to school. He such a darling, but very close to his mama, so I am not sure how he'll cope. I'm a bit scared he won't let go of me, but we'll just have to see how things go. I will have 2 and a half hours to myself while he is there, so I'll run into town and run some errands.

I hope there's a bfp on here soon, I feel there might be wink

calendargal Sun 03-Feb-13 22:38:58

Congratulations CaliBee! What an exciting birthday to look forward to.

And Tina - two girls, how lovely.

blackcatsdancing, sorry to hear that you have come to the end of your ttc time, but glad that you feel OK about it. I know that moment's going to come to us all one day, however many children we have.

littlepink - so sorry to hear of your mc. Of course you are not a fool - you had a +ve hpt and you reacted accordingly. So sorry it turned out like this.

Zeuxippe - really sorry to hear your news too - how awful around your 40th birthday too - can only imagine how shit that was. Also feel sad that you didn't feel able to mention the good news (when it was) on-thread. I'm sure everyone is always happy to hear of the BFPs.

I have definitely ov'd this month - all the signs, and just sensed it coming. 2DPO now so not yet confirmed by Fertility Friend but should be tomorrow. I am relieved that I have ov'd again - I did worry about the couple of anovulatory cycles I've had. I have been getting cold feet about ttc though, so we only dtd once during the fertile window - and I was inclined to use contraception then (but didn't). I am getting quite nervous about our financial and housing situation (too complex and boring to go into), plus don't want to wean my dd yet, because she is so happy breastfeeding. Otoh I know we don't have time on our side... What to do? I think I probably need to give it another 2-3 months before ttc, tbh. But I do also get nervous that maybe every month counts...

Hi to everyone else - once again struggling to catch up on all the news

greenlizard Mon 04-Feb-13 07:29:17

Morning all

This 2ww is officially driving me demented! CD13, temperatures stayed high at 36.82, backache and cramps through the night, bloated and uncomfortable, so sign of AF and another a BFN sad.

I hate Mondays.....Grrrrr

(ps. obviously still a grumpy madam!)

Isabeller Mon 04-Feb-13 07:30:43

Grabbing 5 minutes before the start of the day. I managed to have catch up read last night and beamed good wishes through the ether to everyone as I am now thanks.

I've been very tired with a few odd twinges which I'm happiest explaining away as side effects of the medication, wind, indigestion, the cold I can't take lemsip for and my imagination.

I'm trying to see this 2ww as like waiting for exam results in the post. Fortunately or unfortunately we had a huge influx of visitors at DPs Mums yesterday his sister, her three daughters and their three babies. All quite full on but wonderful that DPs Mum is still cherished by her family despite her very advanced dementia. She talks a great brand of cheerful nonsense to the babies smile

xx Is

CaliBee Mon 04-Feb-13 07:50:17

Good morning all.
Massive thankyou's for all your congrats. I feel a bit of a fraud if I'm honest as nothing was really decided. I have made the decision to leave the ball in his court and see if he brings it up again.

lizard I've still got my hopes up for you...temps sound encouraging. You're right about feeling sorry for my colleague. I have worked with her at this hospital for 4 years but also worked with her for a few in an acute hospital. I did feel sorry for her to begin with. That has passed now and for the most part I feel very indifferent and just curl my lip in her general direction as required. But in my highly sensitive state I'm just a little worried I will pop. Gum's suggestion of that inpemetrable ball of white light is a good one.

Gum I agree with the american lady...patience and keeping a firm hold on the obsessive nature of ttc is all positive I think. My BFP (even if not sticky) came once DP had left for training and I was actually just going through the motions of monitoring for clomid. I was temping etc but it was more just to see my bodies reaction to clomid rather than thinking there was a real chance of getting pregnant that month. Good luck to your LO starting kindergarten today. x

calendergal it sounds like you have been doing some deep thinking. I understand the financial and housing worries...however I have to there ever a really good time in our 40's?? I'm not a great one to advise re BF...sadly it was something I found very difficult for lots of reasons (very unsupporting partner at the time didnt help!!)...I would love to rectify that though.

isabeller this must be the mother of 2ww for you. We are here all the way to support.

Have a good day all xx

DoctorWhoFan Mon 04-Feb-13 08:06:24

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. can't namecheck everyone cos I'm still in bed and on my tablet. exciting, and lovely. Just cos you've had 2 crappy marriages darling doesn't mean this one will be, and your DP sounds wondeful...just say yes already grin xx

Greenlizard...I'm not counting you out yet, you farty wee thing!

Nor you, both sound promising!

I'm starting to feel a bit better, so hoping to come back to the snug full time soon.

Isabeller, I have my fingers crossed for you. I can't tell you how much I hope this works for you .

Love to all xx

Morien Mon 04-Feb-13 08:29:08

Morning all!

I shouldn't have said anything about sleeping well as last night I had the most awful night - DSS (4) came to visit us 3 times, once because he'd wet the bed, once because his bed was 'broken' (that usually means the duvet has fallen off) and once to say hello (he was really popular that last time). On top of that I had such bad lower back-ache (hello greenlizard!) that I just couldn't get comfortable. At least I'm on call today rather than in work from the get-go so maybe I'll be able to stay at home...

Hello drwhofan, good to see you!

greenlizard Mon 04-Feb-13 11:54:58

Aghghgh my body is playing tricks on me....I actually have EWCM (sorry for the detail but clear and stretchy?!). WTF! I don't even get that when I ovulate!!

Just thought I would share....thanks for listening!

notsoold Mon 04-Feb-13 12:36:59

Morning all...can't not name check but just to say hi to tou all...xxxx

DoctorWhoFan Mon 04-Feb-13 13:51:54

Hey greenlizard, I've been like that (almost - it's been the clear watery stuff I get when I ovulate, I don't get ewcm) for the last almost a week! I know I ovulated on cd13. I'm due to start my period tomorrow, and I rarely have any cm coming up to my feckin' idea what's going on!

DoctorWhoFan Mon 04-Feb-13 13:52:31

Wotcha's you?

sparklysapphire Mon 04-Feb-13 15:42:15

Wow isabeller, how exciting that you have a little embryo on board. The 2ww must seem like it'll last forever though!

Calibee, excellent news that the m/c seems to have resolved itself without intervention. I hope work has been better than anticipated, your colleague sounds quite unplesant. But a proposal from your lovely DP, how lovely, even if you decide against it for now.

Miasmum, lovely to hear from you, and glad to hear Finn is doing well. I hope you're able to ttc again soon - I have no experience of c-section so can't advise.

Good to hear from blackcats as well, even though you feel your ttc journey is over, it's good to know that you've found peace without a LO.

Hopeful, the schools here get a break in summer for 6 weeks, but it's just that time flies. I have no idea what happened to January. I hope you're first day with the kids is ok (I have many teachers/former teachers in my family) and DS's first day at kindergarten has gone well.

smile at morien's DSS coming to say hello in the middle of the night, I sympathise, DD comes into see us occasionally because she's decided she doesn't want to be on her own. This usually ends with me going back to her room with her, falling asleep on her floor and waking cold and stiff at 5am.

green, there's still hope for a BFP, yes? I fully understand your rant about medical receptionists, they're not always the most sympathetic are they? I haven't been to the doctor's today because I'm ill hmm, I've got a horrible cold which it didn't seem fair to spread at the doctor's which would already be full of ill people. I'm hoping for a better night tonight and will definitely go tomorrow if I'm feeling better. But increasingly I feel that this pregnancy is so similar to my first one, symptoms-wise, that I'll be very surprised if it's viable sad.

Hi to irish, calendar, drwho, and apologies to anyone I've missed.

NewPatchesForOld Mon 04-Feb-13 17:45:43

Calibee...I have just logged on to catch up on the news and saw yours...congratulations! That's a lovely thing to read, so happy for you.

Sorry, haven't had time to read all the posts, but will catch up later, but a big hello to everyone, and will name check later when I've caught up.

As for me, I am now on 8DPO and AF is due on Saturday so we are getting into the 'testing' time period again. I have managed to escape symptom spotting so far, but I will be back to POAS for the next 6 days!

Anyway, hello and a big wave from me to you all.


CaliBee Mon 04-Feb-13 18:07:04

Thankyou so much for all your are all so lovely. blush I will of course update you should anymore be said.
As far as work was concerned...I survived...that is all!!!!!
To those experiencing ewcm after far as I know its quite normal. It is one of the effects that the hormone producing corpus luteum has on our bodies. I actually noticed more of it during two of my pregnanancies. In fact with the recent one, fertility friend only said "possibility" of ovulation on cd16 due to the appearance of fertile cm after temp rise etc.

Isabeller Mon 04-Feb-13 18:13:47

thanks Calibee thanks

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