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Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

(993 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 01-Jan-13 23:20:41

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

NewPatchesForOld Tue 01-Jan-13 23:31:28

can I join in? I'm 44 and on cycle 3 of ttc baby #4. I was so hoping to hand dp a bfp on xmas day, but af decided to turn up on xmas eve so here we are again !

hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 00:11:00

Welcome Newpatchesforold. This is a great place to be whilst ttc. Loads of support and wisdom.

Tell us what you are doing - are you charting, using opks, herbs, supplements,acupuncture? Have you had any testing done? Do you have other children?

I hope you don't have to stay too long. Unfortunately I have been ttc for about 3 years, but being on this thread for much of it has been a wonderful support.

NewPatchesForOld Wed 02-Jan-13 00:19:39

Thanks for the welcome. Yes I have 3 other dc aged 18, 15 and 8. They are from my previous marriage. Dp has 3 dc also but we would dearly love to have one together.
I'm not really doing anything except fertility calculators and having lots of sex, but am very aware that time is not on our side.

Italiangreyhound Wed 02-Jan-13 00:35:09

JBrd I don’t know if you will find this message quickly from the old full up thread and I don't know all the ins and outs of your situation but I just read about the bleeding and am very sorry for you. When I was pregnant with DD (a long time ago) I started bleeding while away at a friend’s. I would get up and pass huge looking clots of whatever! I saved one to show the hospital (without being too gory it looked like the size of a lamb’s liver). I took it to the hospital in a little bag and they were not too keen to look at it; when I looked later I realised it was just blood that had clotted. They thought the blood was coming from the placenta and after a few days of a very scary time it seemed to stop. At the hospital they could not get the scanner to work, we walked past about three machines but they did not have anyone to operate them! In the end they listened to the heart beat and all was well. This was at about 14 weeks. I am only saying this to reassure you that it may be fine and to encourage you to just rest and seek medical help and try not think too far into the future what this may or may not mean. When I did miscarry a couple of years later there was eventually lots of blood but I am under the impression all miscarriages are different so please do not get too far ahead of yourself, just get the help you need. I know you do not know me from a bar of soap but in popping back on to say hi to some old friends I saw your post and just wanted to reply. Really hope all will be well. Sending you a quick prayer it will be.

Thanks Tina hope all is well with you.

Thanks Diege I hope so - home by Christmas, but I think unlikely!

A great year to you Gum.

Lovely to see you Hippy.

Sending huge hugs for 2013 to Angelgeorgie and Miaalexandersmummy.

Hugs to fireflies for a second dc.

And hugs to everyone.

sparklysapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 02:39:59

JBrd, I really feel for you, what an yo-yo few days you've had. As others have said, take it easy and rest, try not to panic, (far easier said than done, I know) and I hope your EPU visit provides you with good news.

Calibee, thinking of you too, I hope you get good news later, as others have said the 3 weeks plus on the FR must be a good sign.

DrWho, good luck with your move - surely it's all coming together now?

Thank you JBrd, littlepink, morien, hopeful, diege, irish,mamaslatts, greenlizard, calibee, drwho, for your support over the past few days, sorry if I've missed anyone. This is the first chance I've had to post from a computer rather than my phone, so couldn't name check before. DH is working away overnight, and had to wait for MIL to go to bed though. We haven't had chance to talk again, though things have improved slightly - we actually DTD a couple of nights ago, so I've been a bit less weepy, although he seemed more withdrawn again today. As green & morien have said, agreeing to stop using contraception therefore means you are TTC with the possible consequence of an actual baby, but maybe some men don't think quite like that til actually presented with a pregnancy, and then panic.
I'm 6 weeks today. I'm constantly expecting to start bleeding, but all ok so far. If this pregnancy fails (I still can't quite believe I'm pregnant), I'm not going to TTC again, given the response at the moment. I think it's partly to do with DH being an only child, and a bit of a control freak, and also because DD is now at school and we've got a bit of time back and we'd have to start again is bothering him - I did think about this too of course, but I can deal with that. And because we both work unsocial hours and can't afford or have space for live in childcare, he has looked after DD on days I work, with the occasional visit from our mums to help when there's not enough days off to go round, but he works full time, so has had less time for himself if that makes sense.
I had a run in with MIL yesterday, so more tears - she'd already done something in our kitchen differently to how I would, I said so & she took it as criticism, but I've kept quiet for 10 days as she takes over our house and imposes her way of doing things in the guise of helping. I generally get on well with her, but she's been here too long, which has also meant I've had very little one-to-one time with either DD or DH which hasn't helped.

Sorry for the ramble. I hope everyone had a lovely New Year's Eve - I went for alcohol free beer in the end, so suspicions weren't aroused! Wishing everyone BFPs and healthy happy pregnancies in 2013 (here's hoping) xx

sparklysapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 02:41:19

And thanks gum for the new thread - please keep posting how you feel, we're here to support each other.

Pixiedust1973 Wed 02-Jan-13 02:56:45

Hi girls, im new. Can I join you? Ill be 40 in February & after finishing off the Christmas beer we decided to try for a baby. smile I already have 2 girls aged 11 & 13 with my ex husband. My current partner is only 34 (bless) & we are keen to have one of our own, if it works. smile Nice to meet you all. smile

DoctorWhoFan Wed 02-Jan-13 07:12:15

Morning ladies...

Welcome to new peeps.

Sparkly - lovely to see you. Even though you sound like you still have an AWFUL lot going on, emotionally, it actually sounds a lot more positive than it did before, so I have my fingers crossed for a really good outcome for you. It's looking much more likely, don't you think?

As you said when TTC men don't actually feel that it's real until presented with a pregnancy. My DP has said that while he's all for us trying to conceive, he knows he's going to panic and have a bit of a freak out when I actually turn around and say I'm pregnant. I'm aware this is going to happen, so I'm prepared for it (sort of). I'd said it's because he's that much younger than me, but given your DH's reaction, I don't think age has much to do with it. He's just scared. It's a HUGE thing to happen in your life, and I think as women, because it's our bodies that it's going to be happening in, somehow we're more ok with the idea before it happens, if you see what I mean? Especially if it doesn't happen right away, I think we have more time to get used to the idea. I'm sure my DP will be a bit girly sobbing mess when/if he finally gets to hold his child. I'm trying to stay positive, despite being an old fart!

Getting AF type cramps still (despite only being 7/8 dpo today and the fact that I never have them until AF actually starts) and feeling slight nausea. Humunguous zit on chin (sooooo attractive), been moody as all hell with my DP (and I don't get PMS - he'd tell you that!) and my nipples seem to be becoming a bit on the sore side. Of course, as with other cycles, this may well all be in me head LOL! However, having had two chemical pregnancies last year, I know I can get pregnant, I just need to make it stick. This month I had a really strong pinching sensation from around 5dpo until yesterday, so for now, I'm telling myself that was inplantation, cos that was a new feeling for me.

Right, enough me, me, me...I'm going to drink my tea. Catch ya in a bit smile

Morien Wed 02-Jan-13 10:28:23

Morning all, and hello to patches and pixie.

jbrd, how are things?

Sparkly, I have no idea how you're managing to deal with all this with your MIL staying for ages as well!

DrWho, fingers crossed that it's not just in your head this time wink

So here I am, CD28 and no sign of anything at all. Not planning to test yet as although my cycles since MC have all been 28/29 days, before that they were a bit longer so I'm not getting my hopes up (yet).

Irishmammybread Wed 02-Jan-13 16:36:09

Hi ,Happy New Year to everyone!

sparkly great that things sound a bit more positive, maybe your DH just needs a bit of time to adjust to the idea.

jbrd hope you got on ok at the EPU and CaliBee hope your bloods are encouraging and everything's progressing well for you.

welcome pixie

patches we seem to have synchronised cycles,AF also arrived for me on Christmas Eve ,lets hope we get synchronised BFPs in a few weeks!

Morien when are you going to test?

gum thanks for starting a new thread,I like the title!
Do you think it would be a good idea to paste everybody's stats on the front page? I'm sorry I have no idea how to do it!

We've had a busy day, went to cinema this morning to see The Rise of the Guardians, McDs for lunch(so much for New Year's resolution to start eating sensibly again!) and then to visit MIL for a while.
DD1 had been scheduled to go into hospital this morning for surgery on her knee but we had a call last night to say the consultant was ill so his list was cancelled. It's the 4th time the date has been changed and it's hard for her because she builds herself up to having it done and then it's put off again.
Anyway we decided to have a treat instead as it feels like a bonus day of holidays!

Isabeller Wed 02-Jan-13 19:11:45

Hello smile thank you hopeful for the thread and best of luck to everyone in 2013 xx

JBrd Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:34

Hi all, nice shiny new thread wink Marking my place...

Sadly, the visit to the EPU confirmed my fears. I brought the tissue pieces with me because they wanted to take a look (yes, I had kept them shock), and although they have sent them to histology for analyses, they were certain that I am indeed having a miscarriage after all hmm
They were lovely and kind and supportive, but I was/am still gutted. It's a bit too much of a roller coaster at the moment! I had just started to believe that there might be a good outcome after the bleed before Christmas...

They were a bit worried about infection risk, so I'm now on antibiotics. No further action from their side (I thought I'd get another scan and/or blood test to confirm), the only follow up is that I need to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks.

Thank you all for you kind words and thoughts and messages, I'm on my phone and too tired to name check - but I am very very grateful for all your support.

Irishmammybread Wed 02-Jan-13 22:36:24

I'm so so sorry JBrd I have been thinking of you today and hoping and praying that there would be a happy outcome.
I'm surprised too that they didn't scan you again or test your HCG levels, they did with all my miscarriages and repeated bloods and scans till they were sure it was complete.I suppose the histology results will confirm things and if you're on antibiotics you know you wont develop an infection.
It is just heartbreaking to have had your hopes raised and then dashed.
Look after yourself. xxx

sparklysapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 22:56:48

JBrd, I'm so sorry, Ive been thinking of you too, & was so hoping you'd have good news. Please take it easy and be gentle with yourself.
Calibee, how are you doing, & tina too?

hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 23:34:20

Jbrd I am so sorry for your loss.bear It is so hard to have your hopes dashed like that. When I miscarried the second time, I had a scan after spotting and my doctor told me all was well, there was a heartbeat, only to find three days later that my baby's heart had stopped. Be sure to take good care of yourself. I remember feeling incredibly tired. Take time to heal.

Any news for your Calibee? I hope you have had good news.

It is such a roller-coaster of highs and lows when ttc at our age. Fortunately we are strong women who can get back on the horse and ride towards our THB.

hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 23:43:37

Here is the list:

hopefulgum 46 years young ttc #6, 2mmc,1mc, ttc for 2.5 years DSborn@41
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)
Isabeller ttc #2, IVF with DE, 1DD, ttc 5years
Morien 40, ttc #1, MC at 11 weeks
greenlizard 43, TTC #1, never coneived before, TTC 4 months.
Woolywomble 42 in Feb, DH 52, ttc #3, 1mmc at 11wks in Sep
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3
notsoold 41 years young, ttc #3, 1mmc , ttc 9 months( including the mmc)
wylie05 44 years young DD8yr

positive preg test:
Calibee 42 years young,ttc 1st with DP,3 DC's,ttc 8 months
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months

Babies Born
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young

Not TTC right now:
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41

No longer ttc:


hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 23:45:14

Jbrd, I wasn't sure whether to move you off the +pt list. I certainly haven't meant to upset you. Let me know if you want me to change the list.

hippychick66 Wed 02-Jan-13 23:46:58

Marking my place. i look a little lonely on the list sad

hippychick66 Wed 02-Jan-13 23:47:49

As i said on the other thread which was started at the same time - I'm so sorry for your sad news JBird. XXX

Soopermum1 Wed 02-Jan-13 23:53:11

hi ladies. can I join you gang?

I'll be 40 next summer and am just finishing up cycle 4sad sad

have a much older DS.

happened first time with DS so DH getting nervy but trying to remind him that I am a lot older and may take longer (if at all sad sad )

on the positive side, no particular reason to believe there's any issues and having fun in the meantime wink wink

DoctorWhoFan Thu 03-Jan-13 00:03:09

Hi Gum, can I be put on the list please?

DoctorWhoFan 45yrs young (ahem!) Ttc #1, currently in agonising 2ww . Testing on or around 9th January. Been ttc for 2 years.

Feels like forever when you're this old, eh?

Just wanted to add my condolences JBrd. I've had 2 chemical pregnancies over the last 12 months, and that was bad enough. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, but you are in my thoughts x

DoctorWhoFan Thu 03-Jan-13 00:06:12

Hey Soopermum1, welcome. I'm pretty new myself but the ladies are lovely and welcoming and it's a nice place to hang out smile

Isabeller Thu 03-Jan-13 00:24:15

so sorry to hear of your situation JBrd

hopefulgum Thu 03-Jan-13 00:38:47

Hi everyone. I am having connection problems on my computer so i am posting from my phone. I tried to update list with new members but couldn't get it to work. I will have to try later cos tbere's no way i can do it from phone. If anyone else wants to do it just copy and paste and add info in another post. Gum xx

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