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TTC after recent mc - thread 3. Handholding, naff jokes and the infamous Laura Ashley skirt.

(976 Posts)

Happy new thread! Here's hoping for lots of Christmas and new year bfp's, and long healthy pregnancies for everyone. smile

Thundercatsarego Sun 03-Feb-13 19:18:22

Oo puppies! I love the smell of em! The head not the other end. Sod baby head smell, I'd inhale a puppy any day! Retriever too- bet she's beautiful!

ibip, so when did you last test?

Hi camo and welcome, sorry you're here

yorkie, so sorry af got you.

DAMN IT ladies, I had such high hopes for January!

Bakingtins Sun 03-Feb-13 19:55:30

We're not having a good month, are we? I'm still waiting for the witch (due today or tomorrow) but have the feeling she's on her way, and not even slightly hopeful after BFN on Friday.
I felt really sad today after seeing a picture of an acquaintance's new baby on FB. She was the person who accosted me in the supermarket shortly after my MC which she'd heard about on the grapevine (thanks, big mouth friends) and then told me all about her latest pregnancy, when she wasn't even showing, and had no need to tell me at that point, I would have twigged soon enough. I guess it just brought it home that I'm still in that situation so many months down the line, no nearer to having nice news of my own to share and I'd be a sight more tactful who I shared it with
Dutifully pressed "like" for cute baby photo, but without much pleasure evil jealous cow that I am

chocolateteabag Sun 03-Feb-13 20:13:57

Oh tins that sucks! Wouldn't wish mc on anyone but it does teach you to be a lot more careful with what you say to others when you've been through it.

7DPO and bugger all symptoms, trying to keep mind off things...

IBelieveInPink Sun 03-Feb-13 20:16:18

Thunder - Lols at inhaling puppies.

Baking- ooh snap. On many counts. I was due yesterday, last bfn was Friday. So not holdin out any hope as clearly should have shown up Friday if there was anything there.
I also had 'happy' news from my cousin over the weekend. Don't get me wrong, am overjoyed for her. But reminds me of how much I am not pg, and how nice it would have been if we were at the same time.

Burying myself in mountain of cookies......

Thundercatsarego Sun 03-Feb-13 20:29:06

Anyone got any tips about not freaking out about OH being ill during shag week?!

shellshock7 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:55:11

Crap, all the AFs coming in, not the new year we were hoping for hmm

thunder that sucks! Will he not DTD regardless? I know I would but not sure abt DH?!

chocolate TMI but I do seem more dischargey than normal, but can't remember whether this happens when I'm pregnant...I tell myself to write a bit of a daily diary for the 2ww so I can see if what I'm feeling is normal, but never do blush Defo gonna test on Thurs, you?!

chocolateteabag Sun 03-Feb-13 23:19:58

shell!! trying to be good and stick it out to Sunday grin and there you are tempting me to a DPO11 POAS!

Sitting in bed squeezing boobs to see if they are at all swollen - they are not and I am officially bonkers!

Lucky13ForBaby Mon 04-Feb-13 07:22:31

Hmm I'm tempted with Thursday now too!

diyqueen Mon 04-Feb-13 09:13:12

Hi everyone, been away for a bit but caught up on all the news now, sorry to see new people here but welcome! I don't think it's going to be my lucky month either (only dtd once and don't think it was at the right time), just waiting for af, though no idea when it will come as this is first one post mc. But I'm convincing myself I'm feeling sick too... Pretty sure it's all in my head and wishful thinking, wish I could just forget about it all, I am trying but it's hard isn't it. pink, I'm with you on the cookies, or rather Creme eggs here... Going to look pg anyway with Creme egg belly soon!

shellshock7 Mon 04-Feb-13 09:17:57

Fingers crossed you've been lucky diy

Well choc and lucky I'm full on symptom spotting now....

mad crazy dreams last few nights - check

Increased hunger - check

Tingly nipples (TMI ha ha) - check

extra discharge check

So it must be true, right?! grin

CoffeeForSally Mon 04-Feb-13 10:20:48

Morning all. Sorry for the cluster of AFs. Boo. Hope everybody has a better week (yorkie have a brilliant holiday! thunder is today new job day?)

Bought some agnus castus on the weekend to see if that helps. I think it's supposed to regulate cycles? So might fix my stupid short cycles? (this is all Cerazette's fault, stupid pill).

WHY OH WHY do I feel sick this morning? Was dry heaving in the shower. I am NOT PREGNANT and this is therefore NOT FAIR. <kicks things>

hypnotisingchickens Mon 04-Feb-13 10:46:23

Thanks all for being so lovely and welcoming, and really sorry to hear all of the sad news of newcomers and the dreaded arrival of AF.
I'm in the middle (maybe, could be the bloody beginning for all I know) of a WTF cycle - AF a week 'late', have peed on around 568 sticks all proffering BFN's, and also of course have every damned pg symptom. No more testing for me until AF arrives, and I ahve bought a clearblue monitor from ebay to use on the next cycle. Now, off to find something meaningful to do to take my mind off cycle nonsense. not eat chocolate, no, no

BumpKitty Mon 04-Feb-13 11:13:28

Oh it's so crap isn't it all these symptoms and they mean naff all! I'm with you coffee feeling too sick to eat this morning but AF now in full force sad wt actual f! So DH reckons feb will be the month for us, I h ent has much CM at all since the mc so does this mean I need grapefruit juice? Bleurgh
diy good idea re thecreme eggs, I could look 6 months gone in no time smile though actually I'm starting slimming world tomo so maybe not!
thunder the puppy smells lovely but even that is making me feel sick, he is called Branston, not sure if I said that before and can't go back as on phone. Also nightmare couple have dropped out of holiday - hurrah

diyqueen Mon 04-Feb-13 12:41:44

Well, af has now arrived (earlier than expected) - sort of gutted, was secretly hoping for a miracle, but at least once it's over we can get on with trying with some idea of dates etc.

Gah - off to buy a 6 pack of Creme eggs and devour them in one sitting. bumpkitty and coffee, I still feel sick too, hate it as reminds me of what I'm not. Fingers crossed for all of us for next month.

thundercats I don't have any suggestions but may be in the same boat, my dp is suffering with stress at the moment and not that interested in dtd anyway at the best of times. We've missed a few months in the past due to him being too tired, i try to be understanding but it's so frustrating as well, knowing you've missed your chance. Hope your other half makes a fast recovery!

IBelieveInPink Mon 04-Feb-13 13:50:32

Right. I am now definitely definitely sure. After peeing on a cheap stil and an expensive stick this morning, am most definitely just waiting for my absent af. Has anyone seen it hanging around please? It is most tardy, and making me rather grumpy.

Ooh, cream eggs, good idea.

Thunder, my DH hit me with the phrase last month - you only want me for my baby making bits. Effort! Not exactly the same but still involved a fair about of persuading!!

<mooches off to get cream eggs>

diyqueen Mon 04-Feb-13 14:54:24

Boooo! ibip that sucks! I almost caved and bought a pg test earlier but am glad I didn't now. Lol at 'you only want me for my baby making bits', my dp feels like that too sometimes but takes advantage by making me make all the effort.

hypnotisingchickens Mon 04-Feb-13 14:55:31

pink I think your af is hanging out somewhere with mine - probably looking surly at the precinct and making old ladies tut.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Mon 04-Feb-13 14:56:05

Hi all.

Firstly thanks for being so lovely and welcoming. It was really calming to read such kind comments over the weekend even though I didn't feel quite up to responding at the time. Secondly I'm really sorry to hear all the heartbreaking stories of how people have found themselves on this thread. Quite simply, its horrible and unfair.

bzzbee - identify completely with the unhelpfulness of checking antenatal threads. I couldn't resist a peek before coming on here (bad Camo) so maybe hiding it is a good option. I also loath facebook with all that I am at the moment and will be avoiding it for a while.

I've taken today off work and am unashamedly moping about (now with added desire for cream eggs). Went in but felt horribly anxious and tearful practically the moment I entered the building. How long did people take off? I feel a bit fradulent being at home given I'm not in any pain or anything but just wasn't up to it. I've got my re-scan Wednesday now after phoning and begging it be brought forward. Hoping to get op booked soon after. Am pissed off with my stupid body for being so slow cottoning on to whats happening. Grrrr.

We have decided next time we are telling no one until the baby is born. Even if I am clearly pregnant, there is tangible evidence that I am pregnant, and we are asked outright we will simply deny it! During a slightly hysterical moment we also attempted to compose a song "I'm not pregnant" similar in tune and idea of Shaggy's "It wasn't me". It wasn't particularly good but gave us a good quarter of an hour of hysterics in what was otherwise a fairly morose w/e.

I think lots of looking after ourselves and lovely distractions are what is needed, whatever aspect of TTC post-MC we are at. Cream eggs, chocolate making courses and (esp) puppies all sound like brilliant suggestions.

May Spring 2013 bring us all lovely BFPs and subsequent healthy winter babies.

Thundercatsarego Mon 04-Feb-13 16:39:47

Hello everyone. Yeah new job today- am knackered with all the new information! Really good to start a new adventure though, if not a little but daunting- but new things are always like that eh?

coffee and bump, that is just not fair is it. It's one thing dealing with a bfn, but suffering symptoms too- that's just going a step too far. Branston's a great name though- could you bottle a bit of his smell and send it down would comfort me in the dtd desert perhaps

camo I love the song idea, and the plan for fully denying the obvious when it comes about. You could add insulted face to the mix- if people mention pregnancy you can just look at them as if they've just called you fat. I had 2 weeks off after ERPC. Didn't think I'd need all that but I did- emotionally and physically, which was mostly exhaustion.

ibip, that really does suck on top of it all.

diy, shall we invent a sperm extraction gun? Painless and can be used across the other side of the room. They won't know a thing...

chocolateteabag Mon 04-Feb-13 18:00:39

Hi Camo - I was signed off for 2 weeks and then had Xmas holidays so another 2 weeks off. You need at least 2 weeks to recover as you may have bleeding afterwards and your hormones will be racing about so all in all not great for being switched on at work. Don't feel guilty - you need the time off to properly get over this

IBelieveInPink Mon 04-Feb-13 19:27:44

Camp- in terms of time off, I had the afternoon I started bleeding, and the 2 days following that. (thurs/Friday). I then begged to have the op the following Friday, so I could recover over the weekend. I was in work the rest of the time, but partly only because I don't get paid sick.
To be honest, as much as I needed to take the odd moment to have a quiet sob, it was nice and distracting to be at work. If I had had the choice though, I would have taken a bit more time as emotionally it was exhausting. Don't underestimate it.
Sorry, bit of an essay but hope it helps!

Yay for the new job thunder. How did it go?

IBelieveInPink Mon 04-Feb-13 19:28:26

Sorry, camo, not camp. Stupid autocorrect!

Lucky13ForBaby Mon 04-Feb-13 19:33:02

camo I had a couple of weeks of both times and that was one after the other. Don't feel guilty as choco said you need to recover physically and mentally.

Thundercatsarego Mon 04-Feb-13 20:10:01

Hey pink, yeah it went well thanks. Tired now though. And come to realisation that we're just not going to be able to dtd at the right time this month. I'm on cd12 and we're still a while away from oh being well enough. Arse!

JanieLovesHerThreeLeggedCat Mon 04-Feb-13 21:32:05

hey thunder, glad your first day went well smile not sure what you can do about DH...maybe a middle of the night moment of passion and pretend it's a dream?! does he know that you'll be having your fertile days or is he a bit clueless (like my DH!) about the whole process?

camo i found out on a monday that my pregnancy wasn't going to work out, i somehow managed to go to work on the tuesday but had a bit of a breakdown, it all seems like a bit of a daze. i went privately on the wednesday and had a d&c on the thursday morning. i took off the rest of the following week off as well, just spent time cleaning the house, went for a massage and a facial, and went to the cinema on my own which was actually really nice - i brought loads of snacks and just cried in the dark for 2 hours watching cheesey movies. the doctor said she would sign me off for another week as i was quite tearful when i went to see her, but i knew i would have to go back at some point and it felt ok.

sorry to see so many AFs sad but still some hopefuls for BFPs maybe at the weekend? come on girls!!

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