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TTC after recent mc - thread 3. Handholding, naff jokes and the infamous Laura Ashley skirt.

(976 Posts)

Happy new thread! Here's hoping for lots of Christmas and new year bfp's, and long healthy pregnancies for everyone. smile

chocolateteabag Fri 01-Feb-13 16:20:40

ooh and Lucky13 - will also keep up the POAS resistance
5DPO and counting.......

JanieLovesHerThreeLeggedCat Fri 01-Feb-13 16:38:31

shell thanks for the zineryt advice smile

and fx for tomorrow bump, as everyone always says, not over til AF comes! x

ArkadyRose Fri 01-Feb-13 17:55:11

I'm thinking I may drop off & stop following this thread for a while, as we've just found out that OH actually became divorced as of last October - we'd been waiting for his estranged wife in Australia to get a bloody move on and submit the paperwork to the court, and it appears she'd actually done it and just couldn't be bothered to tell us! So we're now busy planning our wedding for the end of April (the 28th is our 10th anniversary - yeah, his ex has been an utter bitch and held things up for us for years). I really don't want to find myself in the early stages of pregnancy & desperately hoping I won't MC right in the middle of getting married (or worse still, coping with the aftermath of another mc), so we've decided to hold off on trying again until after the wedding. (We will be very, very busy on the wedding night!)

Anyway, all the best to you, ladies, and I hope you all get the BFPs and healthy happy babies you're waiting for!

yorkiebilb Fri 01-Feb-13 18:31:45

Ark fantastic news on the wedding!
Good luck with planning and have an amazing day!

bump fx you're just too early.

JanieLovesHerThreeLeggedCat Fri 01-Feb-13 19:07:31

Congrats ark that's so exciting!!! Good luck with all the planning, I absolutely loved planning ours, so much so that two friends have asked me to organise theirs!!! Best of luck to you and your husband-to-be! X x

GardenWorm Fri 01-Feb-13 19:14:20

YEY! Enjoy your wedding planning Ark - best wishes for the future!

BumpKitty Fri 01-Feb-13 20:25:37

Oh how lovely a thread wedding smile many congratulations ark and mr.ark smile

yeah i hope i'm too early too but trying to get my head round it being a real BFN sad though i did just nearly throw up cooking beef burgers (and had a similar experience during the week) confused

Thundercatsarego Sat 02-Feb-13 08:42:45

ark, that is so lovely! and bloody annoying that she's been such a nightmare when I saw the grinning of your post about leaving the thread I worried it was for something negative but this is great! When you get back to ttc in a short time, you'll be a married woman! And a break will probably do you good too- I think it would me anyway if I weren't so obseesed keen.

bump did you do opks or owt? Don't forget that your cycle might be a bit crazy with all the stress you've been under so you might be earlier than you think? It was a poas Sunday plan anyway wasn't it? Any other of the poas-ers...where are you?

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 02-Feb-13 09:43:56

Hey folks.

Can I please join you? I'm very early post MC (in that I only found out about it Wednesday, and currently waiting for D&C) so still pretty raw and not looking to actually TTC for a bit. However, I keep coming on mumsnet and obsessively checking the due Sept 2013 thread which was upsetting me - figured I needed help looking towards my actual future as opposed to the future I had on Tues if you know what I mean.

We are TTC DC1. We were lucky and got pregnant first month of trying so am trying to be positive about that. Got far to in to it at such an early stage. Following spotting went to EPU at approx ten weeks to learn little'un had died at nine. We'd actually had a scan and heard hb at 8+4 so we had both got even more complacent I think and we're absolutely shell shocked. First pregnancy, bit naive (wont make that mistake again). So waiting until Thurs for rescan and D&C booking. It sucks (as I know you all know).

Didn't really mean to get in to it in detail, sorry about that. Still pretty blue. My best friend had a little girl this morning. I'm over the moon for them but... you know... sob.

JanieLovesHerThreeLeggedCat Sat 02-Feb-13 10:28:56

Hi camomile so sorry to hear what you're going through, the waiting is really tough as well. Im quite similar to you as we'd got pg relatively quickly with dd1 but then I mc and had a d&c in October. I have never known sadness like it, but with the help of the girls here, I've come out the other side feeling positive. Just take everyday as it comes and cry as much as you need to. We're all in the same boat here so feel free to rant and moan as much as you need to. Does your friend who just gave birth know you we're pg? <big hugs>

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 02-Feb-13 10:59:47

Thanks so much. I'm really shocked at how terrible I feel (and how terribe DH feels, he's cried and everything). We'll get through it though.

Yeah she did. Bit unsure when to tell her I'm not now. She knows the twelve week scan was due 14th Feb so in theory I can put off telling her till then, but I'm imagining we'll be visiting them at some point soon to meet the new bubba and not particularly fancying the notion of grinning through the 'your turn next' comments. But really don't want to put any kind of downer on this time for her because she's fabulous and deserves this special time. Might just come down with flu.

Bakingtins Sat 02-Feb-13 13:57:01

Ark what lovely news - congratulations (you never know what might happen when you are concentrating on wedding plans...)
Camomile hi and welcome. I had a similar experience in 2009 of losing a baby at 10 weeks having seen a strong heartbeat on an early scan - makes it even worse somehow to have seen that little flicker. I went on to have a successful pregnancy next time, then a more recent miscarriage in Sept 2012 at 8 weeks. It's very hard not to spend the whole time thinking " I would have been x weeks" but it makes it even harder to look forward. I think I coped much better this time round because I hadn't planned out any future sad you never get that naive belief that a BFP = a baby back.
Tell your friend, you won't spoil her special time, but it might be very hard to be around a newborn in the next few weeks and you don't need any unknowingly hurtful comments, you'll get enough stupid things said to you by people who do know. If she's any sort of friend she'll want to support you through this.

Lucky13ForBaby Sat 02-Feb-13 17:24:31

Hi camonmile sorry you find yourself on this thread. The ladies on here have helped me through 2 MC last year and are massively supportive and great listeners. MC is so cruel and truely heartbreaking and I think I will never be able to relax and enjoy the experience of future pregnancys. As each month has passed I live in blocks of weeks. The block before ovulation then the block after and the waiting, waiting a d more waiting for the hopefully bfp. I so hope this is my month again to get the bfp. One more week to wait and see. Serious distractions required!

chocolateteabag Sat 02-Feb-13 18:50:12

Hi Camomile - welcome but sorry that you are here. Don't ever worry about going into too much detail on here, it is the place to do it if or when you need to offload. Take care of yourself and DH over the next few weeks, time to be selfish and think of yourselves for a while. You can catch up with friends when you feel ready.

I have been on a chocolate making course today - mini chocolate factory complete with chocolate waterfall! We "enrobed" and decorated, and ATE a lot of chocolate grin to the point that I felt sick

BumpKitty Sat 02-Feb-13 18:57:59

Oh camomile you weren't naive at all, that's how it should be blissfully unaware of the worst case scenario. It's just shit that you weren't allowed that. You are so thoughtful thinking about your friend's happiness, hope we can all help you out here.

thunders I used opks in a half assed way, I was due to ov around the 18th. I was thinking last night that I was really dizzy on the 21st like head swimming room moving kinda stuff so I googled that and some people get that on ovulation - I haven't before though (apart from a migraine once which was different).

In other news we got a puppy today! I must be crazy, I think it's thinking life is too short to wait for things (we were going to get one when DD was 5) he is gorgeous and currently having a snooze next to DH's feet smile

Lucky13ForBaby Sat 02-Feb-13 19:03:27

Ou a puppy how exciting smile what did you get ?

bzzbee Sat 02-Feb-13 21:47:42

Hi Camomile

I am so sorry for your loss sad

I had a mc 2 weeks ago when I was 11 weeks pregnant.

I noticed your comment about still checking the Sept 2013 thread, I had been the very same with the Aug 2013 thread. However I have recently "hidden" the thread, as for me at least, it doesn't help, it just adds to the heartache. Each milestone reported on the thread reminds me of what could have been. More sad news (and unfortunately there has been some on the thread) just brings the sorrow and horror back. So for me at least, no good comes of reading the thread.J ust thought I'd share my experiences as I'm sure I'm not the only one.
(Occasionally I still find the thread in a roundabout way, and to be honest I always feel shit afterwards, so I know I am definitely best off avoiding it!).

If I were ever pregnant again (sadly quite unlikely given our record) I think I would avoid joining any ante natal threads for quite a while, like someone said earlier, the "innocence" is gone once you've suffered an mc.

Sorry if I sound morose, after coping really well for the bad two weeks we are on a bit of a downer today, no idea why!


bzzbee Sat 02-Feb-13 21:48:41


Although strangely apt that typo!

bzzbee Sat 02-Feb-13 21:50:12

Jeez, bad=last I meant!

Time for bed methinks..

yorkiebilb Sun 03-Feb-13 10:12:58

Camomile so sorry for your loss. I think you should tell your friend about your mc. I completely understand about thinking you don't not want to spoil her joy but if she's your best friend she will want to know and be there for you. Getting worried about what comments might come your way or how you are going to react is not what you want to stress about right now. Be as kind to yourself as you possibly can and allow others to be there for you.

yorkiebilb Sun 03-Feb-13 10:18:03

bump ooh a dog. What kind is it? How exciting!

I've just started my AF so I'm out this month hmm I knew it was on its way but still feeling miserable about the whole and had a little cry. It's so shit isn't it? Really wanted to get pg before age 35 but that's not going to happen now...I'm sure I'll be okay in a few days once AF is nearly over and I can start looking to trying again...

JanieLovesHerThreeLeggedCat Sun 03-Feb-13 11:09:46

aw yorkie sorry AF got you sad mines just away and my cycles are longer than most so maybe we'll be poas buddies next month x

yorkiebilb Sun 03-Feb-13 11:53:19

Thanks Janie poas buddies sounds good.

BumpKitty Sun 03-Feb-13 13:30:26

He's a golden retriever, very beautiful, I'll put a pic on at some point.

Had a bit of spotting today so guess AF is knocking at the door sad really convinced myself this month but I think my hormones are just screwed up. Feeling sorry for myself, I'm going on holiday with 3 other couples in March and one couple are being a nightmare already, it's a holiday we have done before but first time with this extra couple and they are completely doing my head in (couldn't agree dates, couldn't agree activities now say they won't go unless their pfb has his own room - despite saying they didn't need that before!) you'd think they'd be thinking I didn't need this shit right now...

IBelieveInPink Sun 03-Feb-13 18:51:27

Ooh, lots of afs around here. January doesn't appear to be our month does it! Sorry to all, we need some luck around here. sad
Speaking of which, has anyone seen mine? I appear to be missing it? Is the first one after my last mc, so assuming this is just a wtf cycle.

Bump- yay for puppies! Fab idea. Perfect way to feel better smile

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