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Nature is very cruel when you get older

(15 Posts)
blondebaby111 Fri 07-Dec-12 11:43:45

Peter shadow, i know exactly how u feel. I've been trying the same amount of time as you. It sucks doesn't it. I hate it when people say just forget about it for a while coz u can't. Like u say, you know every twinge and pull so how can u forget x

Petershadow Thu 06-Dec-12 21:16:41

my friend is having twins!!!
I'm delighted for her, but sooo envious

WeezyPeezy Tue 20-Nov-12 21:53:44

Mine was meant to say %231 or hash tag one in case it goes into percentage again!! Dafuq?? hmm

ilikesweetpeas Tue 20-Nov-12 21:17:30

Petershadow - it's so hard isn't it? I think that TTC for many years is exhausting. It's hard to explain to people that you think about it every day whether you want to or not. I found seeing a fertility councellor was very helpful. Good luck x

WeezyPeezy Tue 20-Nov-12 21:10:25

Petershadow, I'm 40+ and ttc %231, not nearly as long as you have but I feel your frustration. It seems like a never ending cycle and that's after a MC in July!! If there are no reasons to suspect any problems I'd suggest carrying on as you are but (as I am) distracting yourself from making it your full focus. Not easy I know, but it makes me feel proactive rather than reactive. Not sure my comment helps much but I get the 'its never going to happen' feeling. Xx

Petershadow Tue 20-Nov-12 20:16:25

Does anyone else 'older' have this?
Seriously, I spend the first week with a period, the second week looking for signs of ovulation, then the minute after ovulation I have twinges, aches, pains, cramps.
So of course I am convincing myself It's conception, implantation, ectopic pg, then of course the period again

wrighty2010 Mon 19-Nov-12 11:53:40


Petershadow Fri 16-Nov-12 21:06:13

thank you

Geeklette Fri 16-Nov-12 20:44:39

Really, really sorry these feelings have got to you too petershadow. I've been TTC longer than I care to remember and have been through the whole gamut ('this is the month', 'I'll never have kids', 'adoption's the way to go', 'will somebody please get rid of my uterus it's doing my head in') and am now back to square 1 ('this is the goddamn month so help me universe'). Dealing with other people's pregnancies is the worst. But you never know what is around the corner, and there are many of us here for handholding, or listening to rants, should you feel the need.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Thu 15-Nov-12 22:32:38

Just counselling really. You talk about what is bothering you, which is obviously fertility for you. I think a lot of people do it when going for ivf. The counsellors try and get people to come to terms with the idea that it might not work and get the couple (or they do it individually) to come to terms with being childless should things not work out.

Part of me wants to say don't give up on ttc, it still could happen for you but 4.5 year of ttc must have really taken its toll and I can see why you want to move on with your life now.

Petershadow Thu 15-Nov-12 22:24:05

Fertility counselling- didn't know there was such a thing!

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Thu 15-Nov-12 22:19:51

I am taking a break from ttc till the new year. I do feel a lot better now I am out of the dtd till ov then endure the 2ww. Of course there is a difference between taking a break and stopping altogether.

My friend is not able to conceive and has found fertility counselling really helpful.

Petershadow Thu 15-Nov-12 21:57:30

Thank you
I just so wish I could switch off from it

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Thu 15-Nov-12 21:52:42

I'm really sorry it has come to this for you. I totally agree nature is cruel.

16 to 21 women are stupidly fertile but most just aren't ready to start a family then. By the time you are in a good place to start trying you could be 30, 35, 40 + and your fertility has dropped off a cliff.

Nothing positive to say just really really sorry.

Petershadow Thu 15-Nov-12 21:31:12

If I can't conceive, then why still have periods, why still ovulating?
Why can I feel every single twinge from day of ovulation, teasing me, giving me the tiniest bit of hope.

And I feel absolutely bloody awful about the jealousy I feel for my 3 friends who have had miracle, never thought it was going to happen, babies and pregnancies.

4.5 years of this, I have to give up

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