What is the longest time you know of someone TTC?

[cozytoes]

Hi, my name is Cozytoes and I have been TTC for 4 years today .

I'm looking for hope that it can and will happen!

We have had all the tests, both healthy, which is great, but nothing. We have had a break for 12 months but I'm 40 in a few months and feel like I'm missing my chance.

We are not eligible for for fertility treatment on the NHS in our area as DH already has a DS with a previous partner. We can't afford to pay for treatment and only just got ourselves back on track following huge financial worries.

A colleague has just asked me if I'm planning to have children, so although she probably wishes she hadn't by now . She says she knows someone who tried for 9 years and then had 2, one immediately after the other, naturally, at the age of 39 and 40. I am clinging to some hope.

[rabbitonthemoon]

Hey there cozytoes it's a good question. I've been trying around the two year mark, isn't it a bag of shit. Anyway I know someone who conceived after three years, naturally, who was unexplained. I know another couple who tried for 4 years and conceived after surgery for endo. My friend was in hospital on the maternity ward with a woman who was 42 had started trying when she was 32, had countless treatment and got pregnant naturally in the very long end. And I know of another person who got pregnant after 7 years and two failed ivfs, naturally again and as they had started the adoption process. There are always stories that float around that give us hope and you never do know what's around the corner but its hard to keep the good fight up sometimes. I wish you every luck in the world.

[Lavenderhoney]

I have a friend who was on the pill from 16-30 then spent 14 years trying to conceive. She has a dd now.

And another who had ivf, everything all the kooky stuff( sex at the fertility man in Wiltshire etc) and nothing. Years of mil and her dm and the sad looks. Then she got pgnt with ds and since had another. So about 10 years.

I always bite my tongue when people tell me they are waiting til they are ready to have dc. It might not be that easy:(

[DoodleAlley]

I know a friend who had been trying for seven years before they were successful. Though I think they had almost forgotten they were TTC by then!

[joycep]

Oh cozy, i'm sorry, it's really crap. I've been trying for over 2.5yrs and that feels like forever. Also, it doesn't help that in my friendship group I don't know anyone who has tried this long. HOwever, you do hear stories. I met someone last month who was 7 months pregnant and she had been trying for 13 years. Her last ivf was back in 2009. It happened naturally after she totally gave up. Yes that old chestnut. And I have come across someone who tried for 6 years and it happened naturally the month before ivf was due to start. She was 40. So it can and does happen. Really best of luck.

[bluer]

Cosytoes I just wanted to say that I really hope it happens for you, all the best x

[TheOneWithTheHair]

Good luck Cosytoes. My friend tried for 15yrs. She'd come to terms with not having any dcs then thought she'd hit menopause. She had a very healthy, naturally conceived ds at 45. I met her in my antenatal class.

[drcrab]

My friends tried for 6 years and ivf etc and conceived naturally twice. Kids are now 4.5 and 2.5 years old. Mum is now 39. Another friend tried for over 12 years. Conceived in her early 40s. Child is now 3!

And another tried for under 10 years. Child just turned 5....

Good luck!

[winkle2]

I'm scared as I've been trying for 15 months. I don't want it to take years :(

[rabbitonthemoon]

Winkle keep going. Lots of people on the 10 plus thread getting there. Come and say hello!

[Pipbin]

what a great thread full of positive stories.

All this time makes my 18 months seem not so bad!

[Willdoitinaminute]

I was 32ish when started 'trying' and after numerous miscarriages various fertility treatments and much heartache we gave up booked a holiday to the Caribbean for my 40th.I discovered I was pg 6 weeks before we departed. My little miracle is now 8 and just perfect, well as perfect as most 8 year olds are.

I just got to the point where I felt that I had put my life on hold for too long. So I just got on with it again.

[winkle2]

Rabbit can you post a link to that thread?

[sleepyhead]

We were up to over 3.5 years when I got my bfp the week after my 40th birthday .

Nothing wrong with either of us, no treatments tried apart from charting (and I'd given up on that for over a year). Nothing was different that month - nothing.

Why I was able to conceive at just shy of 40 when I couldn't at 36, 37 or 38 I can't tell you, but it did happen.

We were about to give up, although all the good stories about post 40 conceptions and births on here might have kept me going if I'm honest with myself.

I wish you all the luck in the world. There is just no rhyme nor reason some times.

[sleepyhead]

Oh, and sorry to actually answer your question, the longest I know is a friend of my mum's who had her children at 36, 37 and 40 after TTC from the age of 26.

[JethroTull]

3years TTC here. I met a woman who'd tried for 11 years, DS turned up eventually. When she got her BFP her husband was so shocked he didn't speak for 24 hours! Good luck with it all OP. it's a right total pain in the ass!

[Popumpkin]

My cousin & his wife. TTC for 14 years which included surgery to try to unblock her fallopian tubes & three rounds of IVF. They got to 40 and decided, sadly, that they would have to give up trying. 12 months after "giving up" their DS1 arrived, conceived completely naturally followed by DS2 15 months later . It happens, not for everyone but it certainly does happen .

[vamosbebe]

My friend: 15 years, she's just had twin boys 2 months shy of her 50th birthday.
Fingers crossed for you that it's a lot quicker

[Justreadthefuckingwords]

My sister & her DH had DS1 (both young) then nothing for 14 years, had investigations, nothing wrong just nothing happening.

Then - bam, DS2 swifly followed by DS3 18 months later.

[Justreadthefuckingwords]

(She was 39 when DS3 was born BTW).

[gomummygone]

Good luck cosy. It is such an emotional rollercoaster.

It took years for us, DH was almost 50 when DS was born. Lots of intervention, we both had (private and costly!) surgeries (not in UK), and when we'd just about given up, we got our miracle. It was so very difficult, and absolutely worth it.

At the same time we had other friends who had tried for well over 10 years and long since given up. They were 20 years married when they had their (totally healthy) DS naturally. It was so beautiful to see.

[TeaDr1nker]

I know of two people who took over 5 years, the first had unexplained fertility and naturally conceived after 7 yrs, as they were about to start IVF, the other had all sorts of fertility treatment which did not work and after 5 yrs conceived, she is pregnant with her second after 4 1/2 years of no contraception but no treatment either. I know another woman who got pregnant at 39 after being with her hubby since she was in her early 20's IVF finally worked for her.

[QuietNinjaTardis]

I have a Friend who didn't use contraception from her early twenties. Then they had fertility tests after 5 years and after 4 lots of Ivf and 2 mc she is pregnant with twins
Vie got all my fingers and toes crossed for you.

[blondebaby111]

These messages give me hope,i've been ttc for nearly 5 years and i don't know anyone who has been trying as long as us. We are just on the 2ww to see if our first round of ivf has worked. You sometimes feel like you are the only one and people think they understand but they don't really.

[poshfrock]

My mum tried for 8 years from the age of 19. Three miscarriages including one at 5 months. Put themselves on list for adoption ( this was in 1960's so pre IVF) and bought a dog. Then had 5 kids in 13 years.