Hi, my name is Cozytoes and I have been TTC for 4 years today .
I'm looking for hope that it can and will happen!
We have had all the tests, both healthy, which is great, but nothing. We have had a break for 12 months but I'm 40 in a few months and feel like I'm missing my chance.
We are not eligible for for fertility treatment on the NHS in our area as DH already has a DS with a previous partner. We can't afford to pay for treatment and only just got ourselves back on track following huge financial worries.
A colleague has just asked me if I'm planning to have children, so although she probably wishes she hadn't by now . She says she knows someone who tried for 9 years and then had 2, one immediately after the other, naturally, at the age of 39 and 40. I am clinging to some hope.
My mum tried for 8 years from the age of 19. Three miscarriages including one at 5 months. Put themselves on list for adoption ( this was in 1960's so pre IVF) and bought a dog. Then had 5 kids in 13 years.
One couple I know got married in their twenties and started ttc straight away, nothing for ten years, despite many fertility treatments. They finally decided to quit their jobs and go train to work in Africa with a charity. They were on the first part of training in London, when the wife kept saying that the tea didn't taste as good as back home. Finally someone told her to do a pregnancy test. First child (concieved naturally) was a boy, two years later, a girl, again concieved without assistance. Those children are now adults themselves. It can happen after a long time, but those years of waiting and trying are very hard.
I was TTC for 7 years from the age of 27. We had four cycles of IVF with no joy and then I fell pregnant without assistance when I was 34.
Sadly I miscarried at 9 weeks and the trauma if that led me to decide to give up. I may have fallen pregnant again but I didn't want to risk the pain of another miscarriage. I even had a coil fitted to make sure! ( this also helped with my endo problems too)
I know this doesn't sound like a happy story but I just wanted you to know that I did at least manage to conceive even after 7 years of trying.
To end on a happy note - I went on to adopt a 10 month old baby when I was 36 and a another when I was 39.
Wishing you all the best in your journey to become a mother.
We have been TTC 3.5yrs and waiting to find out if NHS will fund Our IVF cycle. I have lost a tube as well as endo ( why have one problem whe you can have 2). This thread brings me hope, thanks ladies.
It took just over years for us, no real reason. We were on the verge of ivf, the day my BMI was finally at the level required to hit NHS criteria was the day I got the bfp. He's 18 Months now, and we're about to start trying again. Wishing you so very much luck.
I feel suddenly like a lightweight at a mere 2.4 years (learning the parent lingo ) although I didn't start until I had just turned 36. In the process of my first IVF cycle just now. This thread has given me hope.
Oh cozy, so sorry. I remember all too keenly how it felt. I gave away all my baby things to various friends at age 40 after 6 years of trying and got pregnant the following month with now 3yo DD3- born 6.5 years after we stopped contraception. I am aware that an anecdote doth not a statistic make, but it does happen sometimes.
Fingers crossed for you Cozy. Thank you for this thread too, makes me realise how lucky I am and that I need to get some perspective. We're only on 13 months here and I feel like I'm slipping into a dark place. Came here for a good whinge but feeling a lot more hopeful now.
I just thought I'd share another success story, as its really lifted my spirits
I have just walked by gatecrashed a leaving presentation for a lovely lady in my office building, who is leaving to go on maternity leave. I see her often but only to smile and say hello .
I overheard someone saying she is 44 so I went to give her my good wishes and we got chatting. She married 16 years ago and has been TTC since then. She said they just got on with their lives, until she hit 35 then had the tests and one cycle of IVF as that's all they could afford. Her husband has 2 children from his first marriage which rules out NHS treatment. So they moved on with their lives, and thought it would never happen. She said she thought she was starting the menopause, and nearly died of shock when she discovered she was pg. She has kept it quiet until she was 7 months as she still didn't believe everything would work out.
You know what, I am genuinely soooooo happy for her and although I often get insanely jealous when someone announces they are pg, I was just beaming for her.