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Cancelled IVF. Two failed FETs. Feeling sorry for myself!

(11 Posts)
MrsHY1 Sun 11-Nov-12 20:15:22

That's it really! I'm 32. I'm fit and healthy. So is DH. We should be pregnant by now. First IVF was cancelled due to OHSS but nine blastocysts were frozen. We've since had two frozen embryo transfer cycles- both with high quality embryos. Both ending in BFNs. A couple of embryos didn't thaw, three are still in storage.

I want to think the next go will work (prob going to do another fresh cycle but this time at a new clinic with higher success rates) but if 4x blastos have failed to implant, why would the next go work? Just feel like the whole bloody world is conspiring against us.

Right, public, overindulgent, selfish outpouring over. Off to pull socks up and pour large glass of red which I will hopefully enjoy and not weep into like a basket case.

Christelle2207 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:23:32

so sorry mrshy. i dont have anything to help but am bumping for you x

sarlat Mon 12-Nov-12 06:34:53

Mrs Shy - you poor thing. Big hugs from me. I have also had one fresh and one FET cycle transfer with high quality blastocysts. Single embryo transfer each time so two have been used. I have 3 blastos left in the freeze also. It is a horrible horrible feeling isn't it.

I am a similar age and supposedly healthy too.

With me, there is speculation over internal or external tubal damage. It is a long storey as I have no history of PID or endo but I am waiting for a lap to try and asses and hopefully repair any damage. This may help improve my chances at next FET.

For you, these are some of my thoughts and some questions that I would discuss with your new clinic for next FET.

Bad luck - perfect looking blasto's aren't always what they seem. Something like 30% become babies. So maybe you just haven't struck lucky yet and this is a numbers game.

Tubes - What is the reason (if any) for your fertility problems? Sometimes blocked tubes aren't spotted and there may be toxic fluid disrupting the implantation process. This is unlikely but worth ruling out.

Poor embryo trasnfer - this is what the Dr's are saying is my problem. If the cathetar irritates the cervix passing through it can cause waves through the womb and stop implantation. Both of my transfers were lengthy and special tubes used. At my lap I will also have a cervix dilation to overcome this problem.

Immunes - again not common. Could the Dr's start you on some steroids or other meds to help implantation? What tests have you had so far?

Cycle type - have you had medicated or natural FET's? Consider switching to the other of what you have already had. I did a natural FET and felt great for it. This is not likely to have been the reason for my BFN.

The chances are - it will come right for you and I. We are very lucky in that we make good blastos and so many people struggle to get to that stage. But it is sooooooo bloody hard isn't it. I have been very down lately.

Good luck and stay in touch. x

MrsHY1 Mon 12-Nov-12 07:36:19

Thanks Christelle smile and hi Sarlat smile - I think we corresponded on an earlier thread too- sorry to hear you've been through the mill lately.
Sarlat- that's really good advice and I so appreciate the time you have taken to write it. I (think) tubes are ok in my case- nothing has been flagged before as a concern. The ET procedures have also been quite straightforward- an introducer (not sure if this an example of a special tube) has been used both times. Immunes have crossed my mind, but working in medicine myself I'm also heavily skeptical.
I will go armed with these questions and more to my appointment with the new clinic- whatever the reasons for the cycle failures it's time for a change as I'm afraid rightly or wrongly I've lost faith in them sad. I hope you get some answers soon too. You're absolutely right- we're lucky to make good embryos - I'm sure it's a matter of time and patience smile.

joycep Mon 12-Nov-12 20:08:17

Mrshy frittata - i've just seen this and i'm so sorry to see your 2nd FEt hasn't worked. Sar's advice is great. I do wonder whether this is a numbers game sometimes. I often hear people say they go in to ivf expecting it to take 3 goes. It will be a matter of time although how one is patient during this , I will never know.

KnackeredCow Mon 12-Nov-12 21:17:47

Sadly it is very often a numbers game and there's nothing wrong. Frustratingly you just need a dollop of luck.

The first fresh IVF cycle I had produced two top quality embryos. A 4Ab and a 4Ab/a. I had one transferred but it ended in a biochemical.

Second cycle was supposed to be a FET but the blastocyst failed to thaw.

Third fertility treatment cycle was a second fresh IVF. Produced two good quality blasts (both 2Bbs) and I had both transferred. Both failed so we now had four failed blastocysts in total.

Then treatment cycle 4 was a third fresh IVF. It resulted in two excellent blasts and two good blasts. The two good ones have been frozen and the two excellent (5Aa and 4Aa) ones transferred. I'm now 24 weeks with twins. grin

It is completely normal for it to take three or four cycles, not that that particularly helps when it seems like it will never work. Just keep going with it if you can. FWIW i did nothing different for my final round than my other two. We simply seemed to make slightly better blastocysts and more of them, but there didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason for this.

Good luck and I hope your next cycle is the one!

fishfingersarnie Tue 13-Nov-12 10:39:00

Hi MrsHY1, thought I'd pop in to reassure you that you're not alone!

I started the ICSI journey about a year ago - I had one cycle cancelled back in December last year as I wasn't responding to the stimulation drugs (Menopur), had another go in June and nearly over-stimulated but got a good batch of bastocysts. Had one transferred (5aa) that didn't take.
In September we decided to give it a go with the few frozen ones we had and had 2 top quality blastos transferred. Have found out this morning that it hasn't worked.

I also appear to be in fairly good health and am still young (33), although I feel that time is now creeping away as I thought (probably naively) that I'd be pregnant by now.

DH and I were gutted this morning and a lot of 'why us' questions were floating around. Now that I've calmed down and bought myself some brie and am having a strong caffeine-filled drink, I have come to the realisation that there is probably nothing wrong with us. As the other lovely ladies in here have said, it is just down to numbers and/or luck.
For couples that are able to conceive naturally, the chances are 1 in 5 cycles. We've only had 2.5 cycles. What I find hard is knowing that there is definitely a top quality embryo in there whereas when trying naturally you never really know.

We are now concentrating on living a little bit as the last year or so has been all about the IVF. We'll come back to another fresh cycle in the new year, maybe Feb/March time (as DH will want to party over Xmas and New Year and will then stop drinking for a few months to make sure his swimmers are sober....). It'll also give me chance to make sure I am in the best possible shape I can be in as I'm a touch overweight and don't eat as well as I should do! I am also trying to get a potential thyroid issue under control too.

Just thought I'd throw all my feelings out there......I hope it's helped you feel a little better smile

Enjoy your wine, relax a little, plan what you're going to do next and keep your chin up. This will happen for us xx

missbrightside Wed 14-Nov-12 00:00:53

Hello all

You've all made me feel a bit better too reading this !

Mrs Shy We have just had our second failed cycle. Although slightly different to you in that our embryo quality seems to be the main issue. We have always said that we will limit ourselves to three goes - and now the end of the road feels scarily close ... ! I feel absolutely dumbfounded that we have got to this stage. In fact, I almost feel detached and like it is happening to someone else. Like you we are otherwise healthily and 'on paper' should have had a baby by now ! Good god, the rest of the unhealthy nation manages it easily enough !

We have been very fortunate that our first two goes were NHS funded. But that said, we were not impressed with the clinic and in fact had toyed with the idea of ditching our second cycle and moving on then. I really wish we had. Statistically the clinic we were at wasn't the worst - so now I feel like our choice of 'better' clinics is limited. My gut reaction is to have one last shot at ARGC - but (like everyone) we don't have unlimited funds for this and I almost feel like we will literally be gambling with £10k+ (And I wouldn't in my wildest dreams spend that sort of money in a casino !)

We've also put life on hold for the last year or so whilst we went through both cycles - and whilst part of me thinks that we should have some time out to live a bit - the other part of me thinks that we need to keep going with this to try and come of this nightmare (one way or the other) as soon as possible ..... !

Sorry - this is all really dreary. I didn't mean it to be. I was really just trying to share that you are not alone in your concerns. They are all running through my head right now too ..... !

Hope you enjoyed that glass of wine !


MrsHY1 Sun 18-Nov-12 11:15:43

Hi Joycep - how are you doing? God the days of Frittata talk seem like a VERY long time ago now. I tell you what, I may end up resorting to scrambling egg white omlettes in my fanny if things don't sort themselves out soon.
Thanks Knackered and massive congratulations on your twin pregnancy! My first FET was a 5AB and 4BB, the second two 4BBs, so embryo quality wasn't a problem for us but then perhaps they just didn't enjoy the deep freeze! Fingers crossed we'll get another good haul with our next fresh go. I shall use your story as inspiration!
Fishfinger, I'm sorry to hear it didn't work for you this time. It is a total head-f**k isn't it. I hope you enjoyed the brie and good luck for next time. Will you do anything differently do you think?
Brightside - I'm also sorry that you've had to go through another failed cycle. Have you been given any reason for the emrbyo quality issues? I know what you mean about the gamble. I've been under the care of an NHS clinic until now and suddenly the stakes seem even higher now that we're about to up the ante and go private. I also feel that DH and I need to agree what our limit is in terms of number of goes, but he's in a 'cross that bridge when we come to it' mentality - probably slightly easier when you're a bloke and you don't have to inject yourself/get stabbed up the fanny/get ohss and balloon with weird follicle fluid.
Well, after a week's holiday I'm feeling a lot better and am positive about the next step. I enjoyed (several glasses of) wine and some other forbidden foods - and am going to have a damn good Christmas. Love to all x

MrsHY1 Thu 22-Nov-12 17:46:27

Hello all
I thought I would update following a really good appointment at the Lister this morning, in case it's of use to anyone else!

The upshot is that the consultant believes our two failed FETs could be down to bad luck, but as we transferred two each time, and as they were all very high quality blastocysts, she's a bit suspicious that something else could be going on. So, before I left this morning I had 13 vials (!!) of blood taken and am being tested for NK cells (which she freely admitted may have everything and nothing to do with fertility - they just don't know yet), thyroid profile, thrombophilia screen, MTUFR mutation screen, AMH, thyroid antibodies and chromosome karyotype. I am also going to have a hysteroscopy (sending a camera up there!) in the new year to rule out anything that can't be picked up on an ultrasound, e.g. septum/fibroids, where they will also take a biopsy of my womb lining. This will be timed for the cycle before a FET/fresh IVF as there is some evidence it helps if done the month preceeding an intervention. A bit like spring cleaning my womb, my husband said!

The good news is that unless the DNA tests (having sperm frag done too) show an anomaly which could affect the three embies we have left in storage - she feels that we should try using them before proceeding to a fresh cycle. So, what we are shelling out on tests (seriously, f**king loads) we may end up saving if a fresh IVF is not required, not accounting of course for peace of mind, and not having to go through another BFN if we can possibly help it.

So, may well be a sledgehammer's worth of tests to crack a nut, but there you have it. If EVER there was a month for an ironic BFP, now is it...!!

missbrightside Fri 23-Nov-12 09:39:03

Am really glad you had a positive appointment MrsHY1 - and thanks for sharing. I know that no two people can be compared (but I still like reading about what other people are told nonetheless !)

I've already had the NK etc testing (Came back with slightly increased NK cells. I was more shocked by the credit card bill than the result !!!) - and am also going to be asked to be referred for a hysterosopy. Why not ? It's one of the few investigations I haven't had done so I might as well go for it (and because I haven't had my legs in stirrups for a few weeks !!!!)

But I'll look out for the ironic BFP !

Take care x

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