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Attitudes for TTC when last time took so long

(4 Posts)
MolotovBomb Wed 31-Oct-12 15:20:45

We have 2 DDs, aged 3.8yo and 6mo.

DD1 was conceived after 9 months of TTC, so not too long. DD2, however, took 23 months of TTC, including fertility tests and 6 cycles of Clomid. I got pg with her on my very last cycle (thank God, chance, medicine, anything/everything!)

It was, without doubt, THE most stressful time of my life, and, very stressful for my DH. I was very down, sad and just not myself.

We think we might like another baby at some point in the future. I'm tempted to stop using contraception and just see what happens, but a few things put me off:

1) I had an ELCS with DD2 - which was fabulous - but did slow me down for a few weeks. Any more babies would be delivered by ELCS too. So, I'm not sure about going through that again very soon.

2) I'm worried I'll get into the 'we're trying to make a baby' frame of mind without meaning to IYSWIM. I'm worried I'll get easily disappointed if I didn't get pg quickly (which is likely with our baby-making history)

3) I'm very uneasy about actually trying for a baby again. But I'm worried if we left it for a couple of years then it might take ages to get pg again.

I think I'm using this to sound off a little, so apologies if I'm not making sense. I wondered if these feelings were common, and am interested in other's experiences. I just felt so alone when TTC DD2. Only my DH and DM knew.

MolotovBomb Wed 31-Oct-12 19:57:24


EuroShagmore Fri 02-Nov-12 11:52:41

I don't want to leave this answered, but I think only you (and your husband) can decide if you want a third child enough to put yourselves through this. We are on the 25th cycle of ttc#1 and I know how soul-destroying it can be. I'm not sure how I will feel about going for another if we are lucky enough to have one. The past two years of my life have been horrible, with so many things on hold (jobs, house moves) waiting to see how things turn out, plus the indignity and stress of all the tests and treatment.

Good luck whatever you decide.

MolotovBomb Sat 03-Nov-12 18:02:31

Thank-you, I really appreciate you taking the time to answer.

I do feel so lucky to have 2 wonderful girls. We were fortunate to have our DD1, let alone DD2. I fully realise this. I don't think that I could go through all of the appointments, tests, etc, again, for a potential 3rd DC. Let alone this, but all of the odd feelings that come with it (such as not being able to be in the company of pregnant women and/or young babies. The repeated monthly nightmare of wondering if you have conceived, only to have period symptoms then AF, etc).

Another thing is that I felt guilty for feeling the way I did because we ready had a child. That added a whole other set of guilty feelings Ito the mix, as in 'shouldn't DD1 be 'enough' for us?'

Woah, I'm digressing here!

Maybe at some point in the future, if we feel ready, we would just
stop using contraception. But you're right: essentially only DH and I could decide.

I hope that everythig works out for you, and sincere best wishes for an imminent, successful pregnancy xx

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