Pregnancy and studying(6 Posts)
My partner and I have been together for three years, during which time we've travelled, bought and renovated a house,been 'long-distance,' been through bereavement (one of my parents, to cancer over 9 months, and then my remaining grandparents), I've started working full time in an office and he's started a full time degree.
As you can see, we've handled some pretty stressful times, and we'll probably get married officially some time in the future. I'm nearly 27, and would like to have my first child soon. We've discussed the possibility of starting ttc around Christmas (for a September baby, hopefully), as he has a job lined up for when he graduates next summer.
My question is: How unreasonable is it to plan to be pregnant throughout his final year, and for him to be a new dad in his first few months of a 'proper' career?
Before I had a mirena, I had crazy pmt, two days of tantrums, sobbing, depression, suicidal thoughts, then back to my usual sweetness and light, so I suspect I might be overly sensitive to hormonal changes (if this is actually a thing). I don't want to mess up his studies by being a hormonal fruit loop, and I don't want him to be too tired when he's trying to impress at a new job.
PS - This is x-posted in AIBU and Conception, to harness the whole range of opinions.
The key is having the support of one another. I had a child halfway through my degree course and my wedding as well but all the stress was manageable as we had the support of one another including sharing all household chores and stepping up one's involvement when needed e.g moving out of the room with the baby to allow Dh time to rest as he needs to go to work the next morning.
what are your plans,your career its all about him?
it's achievable of course, and as you say you're good couple
but if he up for work in morning and you off I'd say take baby another room
be prepared he may do late finish,or having demanding schedule. again this is reality of building career. he might nit be there fir every burp,toddle or precious moment
but if he invests time/energy effort in career then it gets easier, it does
do plan your career path too?
what are your dreams, your needs
when you get pg look for,and book nursery for going back to work
if you're not immediately going back, think about study or keep hand in.maintain contact with work
There's never a perfect time - there will always be a promotion or something in the pipeline that will make you think twice. If you are both ready to be parents, then go for it.
Be aware that you can't always plan these things precisely. I started ttc around Xmas for a September baby. That was Xmas 2010. I'm not pregnant yet. Hopefully that won't be the case for you, but you should be aware that it might not happen as planned.
I'm also a bit concerned about the lack of mention of your plans in your OP! After all you will be the one pregnant, dealing with morning sickness and hormones, going for hospital checks, giving birth and then presumably being on maternity leave for a while. It will impact you both of course, but the biggest changes (physical and career-wise) will be on you!
there's never a good time as PP says! If you are ready and able then go for it? You will be the one with the baby if DP is going to be working so, as pp says, you do need to think about how it will affect your life too.
FWIW I have terrible PMT too, really depressed etc and was only going to give ttc another month as it was taking its toll on all of us and the dr said I really ought to get back on the pill... but then we got pg With DS and this pg I have to say the happy hormones from being pg (and then breastfeeding) make me much more chilled and easier to be around than when I have PMT. so it can be a good thing! mention the moods to your MW when you do get pg though and keep an eye on yourself in case
I was pregnant while my partner was taking his final professional exams, and he moved to a new job the week before I gave birth. You've handled a lot together and you'll be fine - there's always a merry go round of stressful stuff you have to do (houses, jobs etc) as soon as you have a baby.
Good luck xx
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.