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The femmes fatales of the BESH are lying back and thinking of England

(1000 Posts)
evilgiraffe Wed 24-Oct-12 18:14:36

As witches and pumpkins become old hat, the BESH are scrubbing up well in salute to James Bond in general and Skyfall in particular. Put on your slinky cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, grab a Martini, and start schmoozing with well-dressed secret agents.

Insta-diffs will be shot with a quip but without a qualm. Anyone else wanting to join can dodge a few bullets post the BESHtionnaire.

<climbs into a shiny Aston Martin driven by an unfeasibly gorgeous young man and zooms away into the sunset>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 17-Nov-12 17:43:12

Winkly I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know what to suggest other than he needs to realise this really isn't ok. Is there anywhere you can go for a few days to give him a fright get your head together a bit?

How long have you been together?

MissWinklyParadiso Sat 17-Nov-12 17:48:04

6 years rie

I don't really have anywhere to go. None of my friends live near me, my family is mostly in Ireland.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 17-Nov-12 17:54:47

Oh love. Where do you live? PM me. You're probably miles from me but you never know.

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 17-Nov-12 18:39:38

oh Winkly I'm so sorry. Like Rie I dont really know what to suggest. There is only so many times that you have the conversation/argument and he is really being very disrespectful. What time is he home from work? Be honest with him when he comes in. Stay calm, tell him what you found, how it makes you feel and just be very honest, that you are at the end of your tether and you don't know how much more you can put up with? xx

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 17-Nov-12 19:01:04

winkly. I am currently in the fabulous and glamourous tenerife for a bit of last minute holiday sun, but... Oh. So sorry the boy is being crap.

Where do you think you can go from here? Is this the first time it's come to this? Has he lied before?

Normally I am in Manchester and have a ready supply of wine/gin/knowledge of swear words. We're all here.

Twat face wanker.

MissWinklyParadiso Sat 17-Nov-12 19:09:42

I have no idea where we can go from here, I need to talk to him and see what he has to say but he is at work and doesn't know when he'll be dismissed and even then it'll be an hour and a half easily by the time he gets back to base then home.

This is the first time it has come to this

Our sex life has been an issue for a long time
He doesn't want it, or he doesn't come
He claimed to barely use porn. I asked him to stop completely - I didn't want him to 'waste' his libido, iykwim, and I thought maybe he was too used to orgasming manually which is why he was having trouble during intercourse
I asked him to stop completely
He said he would
He hasn't, and I asked him and he told me a bare faced lie. So he either can't stop, in which case he needs to be honest and seek help, or he won't stop, in which case he clearly prioritises porn over me and I can't live like that.

Thanks sinky though I'm in North London/Herts so Manchester is a bit far from me. Hope you're having a lovely holiday.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 17-Nov-12 19:24:38

So he either can't stop, in which case he needs to be honest and seek help, or he won't stop, in which case he clearly prioritises porn over me and I can't live like that

That. You have it right there.


HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 17-Nov-12 19:39:18

Oh wink sad did you say you were having therapy already?

MissWinklyParadiso Sat 17-Nov-12 19:44:06

Yes faith though we're in the early stages

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 17-Nov-12 19:54:02

Is it worth you posting in Relationships to ask advice of others who have been in your situation?


MissWinklyParadiso Sat 17-Nov-12 20:04:05

Pfft, they always tell everyone to Leave The Bastard!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 17-Nov-12 20:07:58

To be fair, they do...

Will you confront him about it? I'd it something you've raised in the therapy?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 17-Nov-12 20:08:06

If you make it clear in the OP that you'd appreciate some constructive advice besides Leave The Bastard, that might help smile

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 17-Nov-12 22:28:13

well, I will keep everything crossed for you that the couple's therapy helps. Posting in relationships might get a few ideas but there are a few threads with people posting the same problem so you could track one of those down and have a read of the advice given in those if you don't fancy actually posting yourself?

EuroShagmore Sun 18-Nov-12 09:21:07

Winkly I'm in Sauf London. Have the PIL here for the weekend, but would happily meet up for a drink somewhere central next week if you want someone to talk it over with.

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sun 18-Nov-12 19:51:28

Hello BESH collective. How is everyone today?

Winkly, did you get to have a chat last night? I've been thinking about you all day (in a non-creepy kinda way wink).

EuroShagmore Sun 18-Nov-12 22:30:14

I'm here. In laws are visiting, so checking in intermittently!

FrankelDeBeauvoir Mon 19-Nov-12 07:43:05

Blindly, we go from one extreme to another - dozens of posts in one day one minute, barely any for 48 hours the next!

How are the outlaws Euro? I'm off to visit my parents tomorrow for a few days, haven't seen them in a year, though we speak every week on the phone. HWHNN is back on Friday, so thought I'd make the effort to go and see them while he is away.

MissWinklyParadiso Mon 19-Nov-12 08:02:30

Morning, just wanted to say you are all luffly and thank you for Saturday.

We have Talked and will.continue to do so though I feel quite distant at the moment. And so very tired.

Have fun with various parents, in-laws etc!

EuroShagmore Mon 19-Nov-12 11:18:29

FDB, these were the low maintenance outlaw - FIL and partner. I enjoy spending time with them. We had a lovely stroll around Greenwich on Saturday (including seeing a film set of a huge car crash in the Naval College - Thor 2, apparently) and then did some shopping in town on Sunday, ate loads of food and drank FAR too much. Twas good. They've just left. I'm knackered (and slightly hungover...) now! Have fun with yours.

winkly I'm glad you have Talked.

Northey Mon 19-Nov-12 16:55:33

Just had a weird letter looking like it's refusing ivf funding. It says nothing except that the patient shouldn't be outside bmi 19-29 (which I'm not) and neither party should smoke (we don't). Just tried to phone, but the woman has left for the day. ARGH. Does this sound like a refusal to you?

Northey Mon 19-Nov-12 17:10:11

Massive fretting now. Even if it's a refusal based on a mistake, it's just such a fucking complicated mess getting through all this.

MissWinklyParadiso Mon 19-Nov-12 17:49:06

No I think a refusal would be more explicitly refuse-y. It sounds like a generic 'you're on our list so back away from the tobacco and lard' letter. I don't blame you for fretting though, I would too.

FrankelDeBeauvoir Mon 19-Nov-12 18:11:33

Agree with Winky, it sounds like a generic "this is what we expect of applicants" letter.

<strokes Norfs hair>

Northey Mon 19-Nov-12 18:25:06

I am going to start smoking from stress!

Going to phone everyone again tomorrow for clarification.

How is everyone else?

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