Advanced search

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The femmes fatales of the BESH are lying back and thinking of England

(1000 Posts)
evilgiraffe Wed 24-Oct-12 18:14:36

As witches and pumpkins become old hat, the BESH are scrubbing up well in salute to James Bond in general and Skyfall in particular. Put on your slinky cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, grab a Martini, and start schmoozing with well-dressed secret agents.

Insta-diffs will be shot with a quip but without a qualm. Anyone else wanting to join can dodge a few bullets post the BESHtionnaire.

<climbs into a shiny Aston Martin driven by an unfeasibly gorgeous young man and zooms away into the sunset>

FrankelDeBeauvoir Wed 24-Oct-12 21:37:46

It's fitting for a TTC thread, that's for sure!

EuroShagmore Wed 24-Oct-12 21:38:59


SinkyGoodenplenty Wed 24-Oct-12 21:40:07


My new name, a mug of gin, my slinky dress (with peacock trim). Good fred so far.

(can you tell I have a load of work to do and found out today I have an interview for a new job next week? Procrastinating, me? Noooooo)

FriendofDorothy Wed 24-Oct-12 22:03:44

I would like to come in wearing my gold bikini but I think I would scare the shit out of you all!

Evening all smile Still getting my pom poms out in case of a BESH win this fred.

FrankelDeBeauvoir Wed 24-Oct-12 22:36:03

< Whispers conspiratorially In a spy like fashion>

The cod has landed wink

That's code for "I've taken my trigger injection" btw.

FrankelDeBeauvoir Wed 24-Oct-12 22:36:53

<eyes up Dor's impressive buzzwams in her bikini>

FrankelDeBeauvoir Thu 25-Oct-12 07:45:33

Are you all off on a secret mission somewhere and forgot to tell me?! hmm

evilgiraffe Thu 25-Oct-12 08:27:45

Why, no, Frankel, we expect you to die!


'scuse me. Not sure what came over me then. <hides fluffy white cat and collection of gold bullion>

Today my friend is visiting. We are going to swan around town and chatter for HOURS smile HOTB is also coming home today, hooray!

EuroShagmore Thu 25-Oct-12 10:46:00

Dor you can wear the gold bikini. Tie the pompoms to your preggo norks. ;)

JustBuggerlugs Thu 25-Oct-12 12:49:57

So, project win a baybee has begun. I have purchased asprin and preggo tests and blooming expensive sticks for the sh*g disctator kindly lent to me by aplinePony.

Can someone tell me, in a nut shell how it works?!?!

FrankelDeBeauvoir Thu 25-Oct-12 14:28:59

You need to reset the SD Bugs so that it knows it has a new person to analyse (you can download the manual online).

You tell the monitor when it is the first day of your period and at some point, usually around Day 10, it will ask you to insert a peed on stick. It will give you 1 2 or 3 bars depending on the hormone levels it detects.

It is more accurate than the cheapies because it detects LH and Oestrogen, so is more likely to pick up ov than just the initial surge.

WinklyFriedChicken Thu 25-Oct-12 17:49:12

Liking the new fred

<sits on speedboat in bikini tossing hair behind self in glam fashion>

<ignores fact that IRL would vomit on speedboat>

Good luck with the shagdictator bugs and with strategic fashion frankel

Frankel I was thinking of you today reading this Daily Mash article smile

raspberrytipple Thu 25-Oct-12 17:58:02

Urgh, MATV is going to need a talking to. I'm fertile so I've come ready to do deed and he's just declared he has a headache so couldn't possibly be that energetic. He then throws his gym kit on an wanders off to the garage for a work out. I have said that next month he needs to get his act together, I'm not pumping myself full of drugs for the next 6 months only for him to feel a bit sleepy. MEN!!! It wud be so much easier if we could be like those frogs who can impregnate themselves!

Bet James Bond wouldn't have this problem, he'd be permenantly up for it!

FrankelDeBeauvoir Thu 25-Oct-12 18:08:38

grin @ Winkly

Raspberry, can you not just jump on him?! Sometimes they think they're too tired, you just have to, er, show them they're not wink

But you're right, you'd never have this problem with James Bond randy git

Where are the BESH? Norf, Jethro, et all: are you out there?! Rie I'm still thinking of you, hope things have improved with your dad.

WinklyFriedChicken Thu 25-Oct-12 18:08:49

James Bond would be no good - all those women he's shagged, never a condom to be seen, and not one single BabyBond slowing him down? Ishoos.

EuroShagmore Thu 25-Oct-12 18:15:17

Rasp I can't believe that. I'd show him the paracetemol and give him an hour to sort himself out and then tell him his services are required!

Heh@winkly I think most of the Bond girls didn't survive that long post possible conception! But maybe you are right. How disappointing if we've picked an infertile theme!

MissWinklyParadiso Thu 25-Oct-12 18:29:12

rasp angry

Husband has a bit of a tendancy towards failing to play at the necessary times. Its shit, I know. Can you swallow your rage, channel your inner Elektra King and do your vair best seducing? Strutting around in nice pants & heels and all that so he feels less pressured and more horny? If not you have my permission to throw a hissy fit.

raspberrytipple Thu 25-Oct-12 18:51:53

He's just come back in and declared he's miserable and doesn't know why so i've made him a cup of fruit tea and plonked him in front of the light box for half an hour, see if that cheers him up.

I'm really randy too.....perhaps I just need to avert my thoughts to Daniel Craig. Now that is one Bond I would NOT kick out of bed grin

evilgiraffe Thu 25-Oct-12 18:59:00

It's all about the seduction, definitely.

I suspect all the Bond girls are on the pill. I can't live with the thought that hot daddy-Bond is never going to be a possibility sad

raspberrytipple Thu 25-Oct-12 19:10:31

God, I just got two mega strong lines on my OPK, MAVT just groaned and got in the shower :/ Hopefully he'll give it a go a bit later fingers crossed. That means I've ovulated quite early for me, I was expecting to ov on Sunday. I'm guessing if I got a positive just now (and I didn't do a test yesterday, I forgot sad ) that means Im either ovulating now or will do in the next 24 hrs? We last DTD on Tuesday.

Sorry for the me me me but I'm having a mini meltdown just now

FrankelDeBeauvoir Thu 25-Oct-12 19:13:09

The OPK detects the surge of LH which causes ovulation (hormone expert, me!) I'd definitely get on the job, you're likely to ov in the next 24-48ish hours.

raspberrytipple Thu 25-Oct-12 19:26:51

I won! A little clinical and a bit quick perhaps but sitting on top of him and threatening to suffocate him with my boobs worked a treat. smile

Blimey, just looked at the time of my last post, really was quick! Ahhh well, never mind as long as the swimmers are up there smile

MissWinklyParadiso Thu 25-Oct-12 19:31:04

rasp WOW to your powers of seduction! I was coming back to give you sympathy but clearly your sheer awesomeness has made that unnecessary!

MissWinklyParadiso Thu 25-Oct-12 19:32:53

Draf I did some more thinking and reckon the 00's will have had to get the snip as part of the job, not very spy-esque to leave a string of Bondinis across the globe. Totally reversible for when manly Bond spermz are needed.

raspberrytipple Thu 25-Oct-12 19:35:18

I think he knew he wouldn't win so gave up before I got stroppy. He's gone to make me chips now whilst bottom is in the air grin. It does upset me when he says no though, us girls are the ones who have to have operations, get cameras shoved up our privates, get stuffed full of drugs and blood extracted here there and everywhere. I don't think it's to much to ask that he put a brave face on and shag the woman he's married too a few times over peak days really. :/

This thread is not accepting new messages.