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Getting baby number two

(10 Posts)
tryingbutnottrying Wed 24-Oct-12 13:09:56

Well nine months into trying to concieve baby number two we are not getting anywhere.
We already have a wonderful 2.6 year old and have been trying for nine months now and nothing. I am sick of people asking and having to reply "we are just waiting to see what happens".
Everyone is having their second baby and i am getting desperate. Just to say i have PCOS and it took 2 years for baby number one!

nocluenoclueatall Wed 24-Oct-12 14:59:46

I'll join you.. we're also trying for number two. We've got an amazing 2.10 year old and we'd love him to have a sibling, but I'm 40 and have had two miscarriages in the last year. Not what we'd planned exactly.

PFB is the most incredible child - happy, healthy and really great fun so we're not feeling like we're desperate or anything. He's enough. And yet... well. I'd love another throw of the dice.

I know what you mean about people asking about number two though. It's hard not to just tell the truth - I'm so tempted to say, "Well funny you should ask! We were trying but had a missed miscarriage last year. I started bleeding the day after DS's second birthday and after three weeks of pain and pointless visits to hospitals, I sat on a plastic bag all the way through Christmas and flushed most of that baby down my mother's toilet just before new year. We carried on trying though and got pregnant again in the spring but the same thing happened again, so then we took a big break, because quite frankly the hormones and the upset were all a bit too much for me and I became depressed. Couldn't take anti depressants though, cause you can't when you're trying for a baby can you? Of course now we're trying again and after a couple of months being bitterly disappointed with every period that arrives I'm now peeing on a stick every morning and DH is shagging to order. Does that answer your question?".

Not quite what they're expecting, but might make them think twice before they ask any other poor mum of one if they'd like another baby.

nocluenoclueatall Wed 24-Oct-12 15:04:24

I'm glad to have got that off my chest by the way. I hate that once you're a mum your body is somehow everyone else's business. Complete strangers wouldn't ask a 40 year old woman with no kids if she wanted a baby, would they? No, because that would be very rude.

I'm not bitter though, what will be will be. We've given this a good try and will continue to do so until we decide we want to stop trying, so it's all good really.

Next visit from AF due in 8 days and counting...

tryingbutnottrying Wed 24-Oct-12 22:31:22

Sorry to hear that noclue. Im just a bit low as another of my mummy friends told me today she is nine weeks pregnant xxx

Tw1nkle Thu 25-Oct-12 10:17:33

Can I join you!!?!?
We're TTC #2 also.
We have DD - nearly 4 - so have been trying for #2 quite a while (We had a MC last year).
I'm in a circle of moms from when DD1 was born - 9 moms......all (except me and one other) now have 2 DC's - some 3!
It does get me down - but I keep positive!

GiantUnderCrackers Fri 26-Oct-12 10:14:07

Can I join too? you sound like you are in exactly in the same situation as me! Took 2 years to conceive dd now 17 months. 9 months so far ttc conceive #2. I have PCOS. I am 37... Each month I get my hopes up only to be in tears again when i get bfn after bfn. I had a an early miscarriage the month before last. I am currently going through tests. But as we have dd we won't be able to have assisted conception on the NHS. I am keeping my hopes up as just as we were about to do this last time, I fell pregnant naturally with dd. I am very grateful we have dd and she is very special to us because it took a while having her. But seeing friends having their 2nd, or 3rd is very upsetting. But trying to keep positive. Any tips on how to boost fertility very gratefully received!!!

nocluenoclueatall Fri 26-Oct-12 10:43:10

It's hard isn't it? I find myself saying things like "children" when referring to future plans (eg - we'd better put a fence up in that garden, it's not safe for children - instead of not safe for DS) and it's a bit weird really. I think I always assumed there would be two.

I guess everyone else does too, hence those annoying questions about number two. As if it was that easy!

I'm pretty positive about it all. Luckily for us, DS is a dream child, so if he's all we get we've already won the kiddy lottery. I don't feel like we're missing out that much, but still. I'd like another, but what will be will be and all that.

No tips on boosting fertility Crackers, other than eating healthily and getting plenty of rest (NB I don't do either of those two things, which is just silly). Someone recommended using a Clearblue monitor, so we're doing that, just to work out when ovulation happens. It's quite interesting, because it's later than I thought. Might be worth a go?

omama Fri 26-Oct-12 15:09:44

Can I tag along too? DS is 26 months & we're on our 8th cycle ttc. Last time it only took 3 cycles so this feels like an eternity! All my friends have either already got #2 or are currently pg with #2 (& they are all getting pg on their 1st attempt or without even trying whatsoever which makes me sick!). I am so grateful for having DS but would dearly love for him to have a sibling & I really didn't want there to be too big an age gap, though I accept what will be will be.

My af is pretty irregular atm & some cycles have been really short (26 days versus my former standard 35 days) so I'm getting a bit worried something isn't quite right. How long do you have to be ttc for before the docs will do tests? I asked my GP & he said 2yrs & I was quite surprised at this as I thought it was only 1 year?

GiantUnderCrackers Fri 26-Oct-12 16:33:07

I was told 1 year. The same with when we were trying for dd. Could you tell a fib and say you have been trying for longer so you could get bloods etc done sooner? They just check hormone levels re ovulation. Has your other half had tests? Might be worth checking too??

Well ladies TMI but I just finished AF, so I am now onto using OPK's to try again this month, expensive, but as I never know when AF will come this month I am going to test every day as this month we have decided to give everything our best effort.. they worked for ttc dd, but we have been trying for months now!! (totally takes the romance out of anything doesn't it!) I was told boosting Vit D is good by a reflexologist/acupuncturist as it is good for cell renewal. I have cut booze, only having 1 coffee/tea a day. Eating relatively healthily, except for my downfall chocolate which is keeping me going at this point. I work in a stressful job so can't try to eliminate that factor easily. I am doing the best I can!

And winding myself up again reading this back to myself!

Why is this so hard?!!!! My cousin just announced she is pg with her 3rd. It brought me to tears!!!!

omama Fri 26-Oct-12 22:23:35

thanks I thought 1yr was pretty standard. No OH hasn't had tests, we thought all was goods since #1 came along relatively quickly, but I guess we're not getting any younger. I think if we get to 1yr we will both go & see gp to discuss.

I am also using OPK's but so far haven't detected anything & am now on day 14 of my cycle so hoping we get a surge soon! Vitamin D tip good idea - am on the folic acid already but think a multivit might be added from tomorrow! And def less cups of tea! Though I don't suppose it matters so much if I drink decaf?!

It is hard isn't it. Try to stay positive. Good luck.xx

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