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Those waiting to ttc... (slightly pointless thread)

(1000 Posts)
LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 15-Oct-12 17:58:10

We're ttc #2 in dec and I know it's a really silly thing to get excited about, but just started taking folic acid and feeling very excited about it!

Sorry for the pointless thread.

TigerseyeMum Tue 27-Nov-12 15:45:26

Passing hugs to winterpansy

bridget I was not really a fan, no, but we always used the term, for some reason. It was quite a boring and also baffling programme.

We still have no kitchen here - getting on for 1.5 weeks now - but we do have running water, which is an improvement. The new kitchen better be worth it....

amiready Tue 27-Nov-12 20:56:19

I feel a bit sad about work stuff too - just reading your post Winterpansy and sympathising. We are supposed to be ttc after Christmas but I am trying to negotiate a contract with work re the hours and duties and workload etc. and yesterday they said 'if you don't feel this is the right job for you maybe you need to think about doing something else' and I felt really sad and a bit low. It's difficult as I only joined them 3 months ago and I've been feeling so stressed that I've just kept my head down and kept quiet and I feel like they don't really know me well, and now feel I'm just kicking up a fuss and want me to go. And I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not with my requests - and am not sure what to do! I want them to know that I'm a good employee and a nice person, and that I work hard! Anyway, just wanted to share as sitting here with a tight, sad feeling in my belly as boss wants another meeting tomorrow to discuss things and I'm scared he'll ask me to leave, although on what grounds I don't know! Supposed to be moving house this weekend too. How come life is so full on? I live in inner city London and have this dream of life in the country being all roses and sunshine - which I'm sure it isn't, but do sometimes wish I could have a break from the relentless living that is London sometimes....
Just venting....thanks for listening sad sad

winterpansy Tue 27-Nov-12 21:40:55

leafmould Hey, the reserve candidate in case the person they are offering it to doesn't want it. Highly unlikely but they gave me good feedback which will help future interviews. Tribunal is the only answer unless my boss gets sacked which I think is unlikely to happen. It's all got very serious so I won't be back anytime soon! I'm trying to keep positive and enjoy the extra time with DS who is being amazingly cute and good fun atm.

Thanks toomuch The limbo feelin is dreadful. DH is talking about the next DC as if nothing has changed but there is not way we can start ttc unless I have job security. I'm holding on to a very, very small hope that ttc can still go ahead by Feb at the latest.

Thank you sorelip, bridget and tiger It's been horrible but hopefully I can remain positive...and remain on this thread! My best friend is convinced there will be another wee baby in my family by the time Christmas 2013 comes along so I'm holding on to her prediction!

amiready It's so frustrating when work is causing problems. All anyone wants to do is go to work, come home and get on with their lives around it but it's never the case. My situation is slightly different - have raised a bullying, harrassment and sexual discrimination case against my CEO but he has continued to be awful so I am off on leave until it's sorted out (external investigation going on) but there is no way I can go back unless he's gone and I don't think the board have enough backbone to do this.
I was hoping to bide my time, get another maternity leave out of it and then find something else but I snapped and walked out a few weeks ago. Hope your meeting goes OK tomorrow. Do let us know how you get on, I'll be thinking about you. We need to win the lottery!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 27-Nov-12 21:53:31

Oh amiready, I wish I could offer some good advice but I don't really know what to suggest. It sounds a very tricky situation to be in. Of course, you want to be reasonable but at the same time, understandably, you are going to want to negotiate the best possible terms.

I do hope your worries about tomorrow's turn out to be unfounded; you sound a very conscientious employee and any boss worth his salt would be fighting to keep you.

Moving house is definitely stressful enough with all this on top. Can you take it easy tonight and pamper yourself a little? Nice glass of wine and a relaxing bath?

Tigerseye, I do hope the new kitchen will be finished by Christmas. Just think how lovely it'll be when it's finished. I'm very envy

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 27-Nov-12 21:58:15

Sorry, should have made use of the 'preview message' facility. It is meant to read "tomorrow's meeting" and "without all this on top".

TooMuchLaptop Wed 28-Nov-12 06:32:52

winterpansy it sounds awful, perhaps you are after all best out of there. Best of luck finding another job.

Just in case this helps amiready or anyone else, I found this very helpful, I used the form (the link on that page) the first time I put in a request at work.

TigerseyeMum Wed 28-Nov-12 09:10:11

Reckon your body knows when it's getting ready to ovulate? During AF times I feel totally unsexy. This morning I woke up in a flush having been dreaming <waggles eyebrows> I think this tends to happen around ovulation, maybe on an unconscious level we know when the time is right. Anyone else reckon there are signs?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 28-Nov-12 10:33:24

Hi Tigerseye, yes, I definitely feel more 'up for it' mid-cycle too. Some months I can't keep my hands off Mr Hairy but only a day or two later sex is the last thing I want. No wonder the poor guy gets confused!

I think it helps that generally I'm at my best at middle of the month; hair shinier, skin clearer, feel happier and just have more energy. The last two weeks of my cycle are a steady descent into greasy skin, sore boobs, and general doom and gloom.

Cycle day 21 here, and I've got my typical CD 21 boob-thing going on. Pretty certain that means it hasn't been our month. Quite like getting an early heads up though, means I won't spend the rest of the tww analysing every twinge. Good old boobs...

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 28-Nov-12 10:34:54

Oh, also meant to say, yes, 'Chock-A-Block' was as dull as dishwater.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 11:23:45

bridget the boob thing could also be a potential pg sign keeping fingers firmly crossed!

tigerseye I dont get any signs of ov until I am. Atm I have ov pains, ewcm, cramping but nothing leading up to it.

I so hope this is our month!!

TigerseyeMum Wed 28-Nov-12 11:23:59

Yes, the greasy skin put in an appearance very soon after coming off the pill......

Leafmould Wed 28-Nov-12 12:56:41

Indefinite or vague
madamelebean ttc #2
witchesbrew&biscuits ttc#2

mrs wajs ttc#2 now
flowers for tea sooner than she thought!
Stick the kettle on age 40 ttc#3 next week!
peeohayess ttc#2 not actively, but.......
Larty74 ttc #2
setayharas  November 
loveyouforever age 31  ttc #2 

riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
cunningplan  December
familyguyfan  ttc#2 soon
sloeginfizz  December
london supertrooper  age 39 ttc#2 December
bridget&hb  age 35 ttc#2 December
jaffacakehips  ttc#2 dec/jan
lollyshmollypop  #2 December
mumaaaah  ttc#2 mid December
DejaB00   age 33 ttc #2 December
loulou the shamed age 29 ttc#2 dec/jan
swedeheeed December

After Xmas
whyriskit   ttc#3 after Xmas 
notyouagain   #2 after Xmas 
amiready  ttc#1 after Xmas

Winterpansy   ttc #2 jan/feb
bourbonsandtea ttc#2 january
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
tothemoon ttc#1 January
mrs spencer Reid ttc #2 January
2beornot ttc #2 new year
Mika2 age 31 ttc #1 after getting promoted! (fx)
serious stuff ttc#1 January 
sorelip ttc#2 
london supertrooper  age 39ttc#2 
rainbowtea23 age 26 ttc#1 
zedds  age 37 ttc#1
tryingtoconcievesharply age 23 ttc #1
lavenderpots ttc#3
sunshine2013hopefully age 26 ttc#1
blondiedollface ttc#2

crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
accidental exhibitionist ttc#2 February
volleyfeet ttc#1
mythreeknights age 34ttc#3 

batfish age 31 ttc#1 march

Zen nudist age 34 ttc #2 April/may?
caramal ttc#2 hopefully April.
orbis non sufficit age 35 ttc#1 April 
horseygirl1 ttc#2

leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
jazzcat28 ttc#1 may/June 
toomuchlaptop age 36 ttc#2

painted cat age 22 ttc #1
iwish age 27 ttc#2

part1 ttc#2 August

Porridge with almond milk

twojackrussellsandababy ttc#2

Once again, just say if I've got you wrong!

Mythreeknights Wed 28-Nov-12 13:01:53

Amiready you poor thing - what a nightmare. You have explained your fears so clearly may have already had the meeting, but if not, I find a good way of generating understanding, is to start the conversation saying you know how you come across (quiet) but that doesn't mean you are unhappy / sullen / difficult / uptight, X,Y Z, although you appreciate it looks like you haven't settled in yet. Then go on to say how much you enjoy the work / colleagues / X, Y Z and how you hope to find your balance (with their help/support)soon.
I had a WANKER of a boss in London who said he'd increase my pay within 3 months to what I'd asked for (about £3k more than he started me on), IF I settled in. But I had no chance of 'settling' because he was a wanker and a bully, and would walk past my desk, smashing it with his hand, making me leap into the sky, then he'd demand that I joined him in his office for 'a quiet talk'. Obviously I bricked it each time, but it was just a power game to him (and he'd gloat about how other teams were performing badly etc, it was never anything about me or my performance). Then, 3 months in, I raised the subject of the pay increase and he sat there smirking, rubbing his hands up and down the table and then said he couldn't do that as I hadn't settled. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN I yelled and he raised his eyebrows and said 'exactly that'. I resigned 5 months later (I wish wish wish I had resigned on the spot), signed up to Raleigh International, spent the months before Raleigh temping and having a brilliant time, then moved to Scotland, got married and had 2 children. To this day though, I WISH I had told him to shove my pay increase where the sun don't shine and walk off. I was just too fearful of a bad reference in the future, so I swallowed it all and behaved like a good little girl. It still makes me so angry. However, what I mention about about preceding criticism with some self-awareness - I learnt that on Raleigh and it is a really good way of making people understand and like you.
And as much as I love living in the countryside, boy I do miss London.

Leafmould Wed 28-Nov-12 13:10:43

Hello everyone,

Hope everyone is feeling positive today. I have got a few tasks done this morning, but I was so behind with the laundry that I am now on a mission to get it done.

orbis I am interested in these little known maternity designers! Go on, share your madness!

sunshine 2013hopefully any news?

mrs wajs any news?

tigerseye I also find that I am more interested in my dp mid cycle. I try not to let on though because I worry it might make him feel like a victim of my hormones [kids self that he doesn't notice]

amiready it sounds like your workplace may be quite competitive? That must be tough. Sometimes being a capable and good worker is just not enough. I do hope the meeting goes ok.

winterpansy I'm glad to hear you are enjoying the time with your lovely ds.

bridget female instinct! Not "I feel it in my waters", more like "I feel it in my breasts!"

We have come down with the shots round here too. My dd saw a Kleenex balsam advert the other day, on the tv, and fell of it hook line and sinker "mummy you know those extra special tissues for sore noses on the tv? I think I have got one of those noses" hmm bought her co-op own brand version!

Leafmould Wed 28-Nov-12 13:14:23

Snots not shots.

Mythreeknights Wed 28-Nov-12 13:15:30

Leafmould I just wanted to say HI and thanks for updating the list :-)

Leafmould Wed 28-Nov-12 13:24:43

Hi 3 knights, just reading your post too. Sounds like you managed to turn the negative experience around and learn a lot in subsequent jobs.
If you are dealing with shitty workplaces, it is hard to see what is really going on sometimes in terms of power struggles, covering up incompetence etc and really hard to develop and progress. I do take my hat off to you for seeing clearly the situation and stuffing it, and also winter pansy who is bravely facing a potential tribunal to get her awful boss sacked.

My boss is not a wanker. But our section has a lot of incompetent staff and managers, and we subcontract from other shabby companies too, so trying to be professional is just so hard.

literaryone Wed 28-Nov-12 13:39:07

Hello! Thought I'd pop in here and join the club of waiting to ttc. My first pregnancy didn't have that "trying" phase before it at all, as it was a welcome accident -- we should have started trying a few months later, after I lost a few kilos. Sadly, our son was stillborn at 19 weeks on September 2, just about three months ago. Everything happened naturally and without complications, and the test results showed absolutely nothing wrong, so what happened is still a mystery that plagues us. My doctors have said that there will be certain precautions taken in any future pregnancy and told us to wait six months, mostly so that we could deal emotionally. I'm 30, so waiting a few more months is deemed fine.

My cycle is back to normal (albeit a new normal as it seems to have lengthened marginally to 30 days from 28-29 days before the pregnancy) and I've had two periods since the loss. While I'm still dealing with the emotional fallout -- I cannot say how horrible it was to lose my child at that late stage -- the thought of trying to conceive again is something hopeful that I hold on to. I see the endocrinologist tomorrow, for a review (I'm hypothyroid but it's under control with a supplement), and will have to ask a whole lot of questions about whether any further testing is required and what sort of precautionary measures she'll want me to take before trying and while trying.

So grieving, nervous but trying to cling onto some hope, all at the same time. It's going to be fraught once we try and if we get pregnant.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 28-Nov-12 14:43:51

Welcome to the thread literaryone.

I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I wish I had something wise to say but words are just so inadequate..

TigerseyeMum Wed 28-Nov-12 14:51:00

Sorry about your loss, can't even begin to imagine the heartache. I hope you find some answers.

Sunshine2013Hopefully Wed 28-Nov-12 15:00:33

Hi everyone, wow these convo's move on quickly! I've been away for a few days in Dublin with dh and no internet access! Unfortunately for dh, af arrived the morning we went away! Lol isn't that always the way! I was glad it arrived so I could get this cycle started and taking my pre conception. Vitamins and maybe use some opk's this month so I know exactly wen I ov as this is my last cycle before the real fun begins!! Thanks for asking and for adding me to the list leafmould I actually eeeeeeeked in excitement when I seen my name! Lol ..

Sunshine2013Hopefully Wed 28-Nov-12 15:03:45

And to the ladies having troubles at work, I hav no advice just sympathy for yas! It sounds horrible and all this as well as TTC or wttc cudnt be easy! I don't envy yous! Have a (brew) and a (biscuit) and try to enjoy all the good things u hav in ur lives to counteract that horribleness! Xxx

Mythreeknights Wed 28-Nov-12 15:20:21

Gosh literary you poor poor darling. That must be unbelievably awful for you. Welcome to the group <<big hug>>

Sunshine2013Hopefully Wed 28-Nov-12 16:44:42

literaryone it sounds like u've been through a terrible time huni big hugs!

Feel free to bitch and rant and moan on here huni, that's what we are here for, and the gang here are a great and supportive bunch of gals, welcome to the community! Xx

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 17:52:37

literary so sorry to hear about your loss and welcome to the thread.

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