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Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

(1000 Posts)
goldengirl71 Thu 11-Oct-12 21:51:58

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

Isabeller Mon 10-Dec-12 09:09:57

Hello fellow roller coaster passengers.

The next step on our journey is for my cycle and our kind egg sharer's cycle to be synchronised by the clinic. I'm also wondering about endometrial scratching which apparently improves the chances of implantation, does anyone know anything about this?

Ever since we knew donor eggs would be needed DP hoped the donor would share some of my physical characteristics. We were stunned and delighted to be offered a match a few weeks ago and when we got over our surprise that she was totally opposite to me in colouring we were keen to go ahead. Sadly she had to postpone treatment so we were put back on the waiting list.

We were then offered a match even more different (which hardly seemed possible) but the nurse said if we carried on waiting she thought there would be a closer match before the end of the year so we decided to do that.

I'm struggling to describe what happened next but the punchline is that on Friday we were matched with someone who comes from the same small country as my one non-UK grandparent...

hopefulgum Mon 10-Dec-12 10:07:14

Oh, Isabeller, I just had goosebumps when you wrote:"who comes from the same small country as my one non-UK grandparent... " That is just wonderful. I hope for you it is a good omen.

Calibee, sorry about the bloody BFN. But at this early stage, first morning urine is probably a good ideasmile.I say that knowing full well that I have done tests at all times of the day as early as 8 DPO blush

In fact, according to fertility friend I will be 8 DPO tomorrow, but I think I'm more likely 7 DPO, and as tempted as I am, I only have three tests in the house, so I'll be waiting a few more days. I just ordered 40 tests, so I'll be pee-ing for Australia before too long...grin

Yes, I do feel a bit lucky having a long break (about 6 weeks) over the summer.Although I know how tedious a long cold winter can be, I do envy you the white christmas.

Oh dear, pot boiling over on the stovehmm,better go...

CaliBee Mon 10-Dec-12 12:09:42

Oh fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck (apologies) my progesterone at 7dpo is just 19.9 mml/L. I think this doesnt sound great and I cant get through to clinic!!
How??? Why?? I was supposed to have released 2 big juicy follicles. sad
Gutted isnt the word.
I wont be testing again this cycle.
isabeller.....fate x

Isabeller Mon 10-Dec-12 17:08:09

very sorry to hear progesterone not good Calibee sad

Thank you and hopeful, fingers and toes crossed for us all (I can do this because I am momentary flat out after v physical day)

greenlizard Mon 10-Dec-12 19:48:01

CaliBee I don't know your situation (are you on fertility treatment of some kind?) and am new to this TTC but it doesn't sound like good news - hope it turns out OK for you. Do you test yourself for progesterone?

Isabeller - My Gran had a saying "what is meant for you, won't go by you" which used to be really annoying as she trotted it out with every failed exam, ditching by boyfriends, falling out with BF. Although she is long gone, as I read your post it popped straight into my head as it fits your situation perfectly! Your baby could be called Serendipty! grin

I am also in the 2WW phase and think I am 8DPO (I got a smiley face last Sunday for one day only and felt ovulation pain so assume it was then - I have tried charting but my temperature has been all over the place - maybe because I went on holiday in the middle?). I taken to symptom spotting so I have been "imagining" in no particular order dizzy spells, nausea spells, emotional spells (cried watching Despicable Me with DP kids!), vivid dreams and I am bunged up (OK so I didn't imagine these two but I am making them symptoms). I have ordered some cheap pregnancy test from Amazon (the 10mui ones) and they turned up today so clearly will be merrily POAS for rest of the week. AF due 16th.

Who else is waiting?

CaliBee Mon 10-Dec-12 21:45:27

Hi greenlizard this was my first month of Clomid. Scans showed two big ripe follicles and temps, cm, etc appeared to show ovulation. Even managed to catch DP on ovulation day....he's in the army so timing is very haphazzard. They take a blood test at 7dpo and progesterone is supposed to be >30 to show good my 19.9 wasnt so good. The nurse did call me earlier though and said it shows "something" is happening....that made me smile. Trying to be positive....maybe it just hadnt quite peaked yet.

hopefulgum Mon 10-Dec-12 22:40:18

Calibee, sorry to hear this. I've heard conflicting things - that over 30 is best, but also if it is over 16 you have ovulated - see this thread.
Will you see the consultant about this? I think that if low progesterone is an issue,they can give you progesterone over the tww. Clearly you ovulated, perhaps you just need a top up of progesterone?

Hang in there,*Calibee*, I know it is hard, but you may find that your progesterone becomes much higher after taking clomid again next month. Also it isn't an impossibility that you could still be pregnant now. Here's a big soft cuddly bear for you.

8Greenlizard*, you and I are around about the same stage of the tww. I ordered some tests from Ebay, but I probably won't get them for a few days. i have a couple in my drawer, so maybe tempted in a couple of days to take a test. I'm trying not to get too hopeful, but I did feel a bit sick brushing my teeth last night. I have had that on months I've not been pregnant, so I shouldn't think anything of it...hmm

Today is my day off. DS is going to daycare as usual, so I am planning to get some marking finished (year nine essays, rather dull) and then perhaps some sewing before having a nice long rest on the couch with a movie. So decadent! And I am loving itgrin

greenlizard Tue 11-Dec-12 07:38:23

Calling FertilityFriend and temping experts.

I starting temping this month, which might not have been such a good idea as I was going on holiday (longhaul so time zone change) and now I can't seem to make head nor tail of my chart.

First it thought ovulated day 8, then the cross lines disappeared when my temps came down, then I got a smiley face on my OPK and ovulation pain from right ovary on day 12 but my temps stayed low for couple of days. I then flew back to the UK so missed temping for a day and now it thinks I ovulated on Day 18 (luckily I had DTD the night before!). I thought I was 8 DPO and due AF on 16th (26 day cycle). It has got me extremely confused!

Could anyone give me some advice?


Ps. CaliBee that doesn't sound like it's over for you this month at all. FX for you!

CaliBee Tue 11-Dec-12 07:43:30

Thankyou hopeful hug very much appreciated this morning. Couldnt really talk to DP last night as line was so bad and didnt want to put a downer on an already short conversation. He had also just told me how his mate in the bed opposite him's girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant and they didnt plan it (infact the guy was about to break up with her)...that felt like a blow to the stomach and I dont even know them. Its a bit of a poo really as last months progesterone (natural cycle) was 35....but that was a 44 day cycle. As you say I have to stay positive and hope that next month is better. Hope you have a lovely day off....I wish I didnt have to go in today x

CaliBee Tue 11-Dec-12 07:48:12

Hmm Greenlizard thats a tough one. It sounds like all the flights and timezones have messed it up a little for you. I would think you ovulated maybe around cd13-14 (after +opk)...unfortunately its never an exact science. All you can do I guess is wait it out and hopefully af doesnt arrive atall and you get a lovely holiday BFP.

hopefulgum Tue 11-Dec-12 08:08:04

greenlizard, I tend to agree with Calibee, it is a tough one. I would say that if you got a +opk and O pain, then that's when you ovulated (and it can take a couple of days for the temp shift). Unfortunately you probably won't really know til the cycle is over (or you are pregnant) and you can look at it retrospectically (I'm sure that is incorrect spelling, but I can't be bothered finding the proper spelling, how unmumsnetty of megrin)

Calibee, it truly sucks to hear about someone else's "happy" news (unless it's one of my lovely friends on this thread) when you are trying so hard to have a baby. Why can't it just be us?

Well, my day of freedom is almost over. I still haven't got to the dishes, but I have cooked a curry, done three loads of washing,sewed a new top and watched an episode of Hit&Miss. A great day all round! Oh, and i finished marking those essays. Hurraysmile

JBrd Tue 11-Dec-12 10:50:02

Quick hello! Hope you are all well!

CaliBee - keeping fingers crossed for you, hang in there! I can understand your sadness when hearing the news about your DH's army mate, it's the little things like that that really get you down when you're feeling a bit fragile anyway.

greenlizard - I'm really not an expert, but I would tend to agree with the others, that the OPK+ is probably the best indicator in this case. I found it takes a couple of cycles to get to grips with temping and charting.

I'm currently trying to fill out pages and pages of risk assessment forms at work, without anyone seeing what I'm doing... Not easy when you sit in an office where everyone else has to walk past you to get to their desks! Told H&S yesterday that I'm pg, as I work in a lab with lots of hazardous chemicals, it's important that they know. Also told one colleague, who will have to be my ally in the lab, helping me out when I can't do stuff.
Fortunately, nothing more happened, I'm back to normal and feel really well again, phew! (But I have to admit that I poas again, just to make sure...)

Counting the days to the start of my holidays... Finish work on the 21st and am not going back until Jan 7th, yay!

sparklysapphire Tue 11-Dec-12 13:26:15

Hi everyone,
JBrd, I'm glad things seem to have settled down. Have you managed to get someone to give you clexane (what does it do?) this trimester instead of next? Keep hassling them!
How are you doing notsoold?
Sorry that your progesterone is lower than you hoped Calibee, but it sounds like there may still be some hope - although I don't know very much about it, and am relying on gum's expertise.
Isabeller how exciting that you've been matched with someone of your grandparent's nationality, I hope the process goes smoothly.
greenlizard, I haven't gone down the temping route so can't offer any advice on your chart, just good luck for this month.
I'm in the 2ww, AF due around the 20th (assuming 31 days), but I've had sore boobs (normal pre-AF for me) since last cd17/18 so even if this is a shorter cycle (28 days) it still seems very early. I've just been using EWCM as indicator to DTD, but for some reason, I didn't pay any attention to it this month. I don't think I'm pregnant though, but it seems even longer than usual to wait to find out. I'm now at the stage of wondering if we should get rid of the baby stuff that's taking up space in our loft, along with far too much other junk, and then acquire some more if we need it, which is looking increasingly unlikely sad. I'm not ready to give up yet though!

Good luck to everyone else on the 2ww.

I've updated my details below.

hopefulgum 46 years young ttc #6, 2mmc,1mc, ttc for 2.5 years DSborn@41
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)
Isabeller ttc #2, IVF with DE, 1DD, ttc 5years
Calibee 42 years young,ttc 1st with DP,3 DC's,ttc 8 months
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months
Morien 40, ttc #1, MC at 11 weeks
greenlizard 43, TTC #1, never coneived before, TTC 4 months.
Woolywomble 42 in Feb, DH 52, ttc #3, 1mmc at 11wks in Sep
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3
notsoold 41 years young, ttc #3, 1mmc , ttc 9 months( including the mmc)
wylie05 44 years young DD8yrs, mc in Jan 08

positive preg test:
lotsofcheese: 17weeks?
Tina 13 weeks?

Babies Born
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young

No longer ttc:

CaliBee Tue 11-Dec-12 18:30:13

Oh girls I have to share this with you. Out of sheer curiousness this morning I decided to test again (I know I know...I said I wouldnt when I was stropping about my progesterone results)....I dutifully peed on stick and continued to get ready for work. Took a look a few mins later and had to sit on the edge of the bed in shock as I saw a faint second line....well, I went dizzy, hot, excited, scared, shocked, tearful all in the space of 2 minutes.

However.....wait for it...wait for it.......silly cow that I am had pulled out an opk and NOT an HCG test. For 2 short minutes I experienced sheer brain loveliness lol....alas not to be. I am having a good old chuckle at myself though. I've not even had a sniff of BFP in the 8 months Ive been trying sadly.

jbrd I envy your deviousness at work smile

hopeful I envy your day off and the yummy curry. smile

sparkly....yeh get rid of the baby stuff, thats when it will happen and I'm sure you wont mind buying all new stuff for baby smile

For some reason I have the devil in me tonight and I dont have DP about to annoy....hmmmm. I have just been to the work gym for the first time in months, I think it has brought out my naughty side. grin

notsoold Tue 11-Dec-12 20:07:01

Hi all !!!
Lovely to be back ( I' ve been reading the thread...)...after the heaviest af ever! I was unable to leave the house because of it but I did a frer and was negative... So it means back to dtd ...
Even more pro active now I will keep track of my cm ( never done it before), take the agnus castus ( like last month), and really go for it during the time I think I am ovulating ( according to my phone app).
Maybe if nothing happens invest on cbfm??? Is that good?
Thank you for all the support meant a lot to me!!

notsoold Tue 11-Dec-12 20:14:49

Sparkly...good luck on the 2ww...
Jbrd well done with forms ( I hate forms)
Calibee oh my...what a mistake eh?? But your day will come ..
Hopeful curry...yumyum!!! Love it love it...mine are always not nice

JBrd Tue 11-Dec-12 20:31:37

sparkly - clexane is an anticoagulant, like warfarin, it prevents blood clots. I'm supposed to be taking it because I had a blood clot in my lung earlier this year, and pregnancy increases your risk for developing clots! No luck so far, I'm currently attacking them from all sides: the midwives at the hospital will get in touch with the consultant haematologist's office and send them my details with an urgent request for an appointment, I've called my GP again, and they will get the referral status changed to 'urgent' (or so they promised). Plus, I'm ringing the appointment line daily to see if there has been a cancellation. No luck so far sad
Think I will add the haematologist to the list of people to be called daily.

Cali - you've been through the wringer! Not sure if it's rude or not to giggle a bit at your story, please don't think I'm insensitive. I hope you're not too disappointed... So are you still/again ovulating then?

notsoold - invest in the cbfm, I'm convinced that's what did it for me grin You need to buy a brand new one, plus a large amount of sticks. I'd offer you mine - new and never used, with new batteries as well, but that wouldn't count grin!

CaliBee Tue 11-Dec-12 20:43:56

notsoold....youve had a rough week...big hugs xx
jbrd no not ovulating...the opk line was only just visible. When I used to test too early in the month (for ovulation) I often used to get a faint line....guess I'm just one of those people. Please feel free to have a good giggle....I can definately see the funny side.

remnant Tue 11-Dec-12 20:46:30

calibee, doesn't a postive opk late in cycle amount to a positive hpt. i know it's not advised to use instead, but still...

notsoold, sorry!
cbfm didn't work any miracles for me in it's first month, but it was very exciting to see that I did produce a 'peak' fertility status on two days. didn't amount to a bfp though

sparklysapphire, I'm also surrounded by baby things I keep putting off getting rid of. Some things I'd be happy to buy again, but there are others I'll be heart broken not to use again. Sometimes i wonder how much that's driving my ttc mission hmm

anyway, i'm very tired and haven't caught up on all the posts sorry. (sleep deprived and 2 year old is wanting attention all the time bless him, there's a constant 'look, look, look!') so apologies for not really responding.

I do want to ask a question though before I forget.

Hope it's ok to bring up the subject of clotting. I know it can be a sign of worrying things, but not sure what they are, or if there's a small amount of clotting that can be considered normal. Anyone?

hopefulgum Tue 11-Dec-12 22:44:19

Morning all.
Jbrd, glad to hear everything has settled down.
Calibee, sorry about the naughty OPK ! I am sure you're not the first woman to have done that.

Remnant mentioned that an opk can be used as a preg test, but the opk would have to be blazingly positive to show a pregnancy. Like you, I have faint opks anytime in the month - most people do have traces of LH in their system at all times.

I know it is disappointing. I think my month will end on a negative too. I'm not even bothering with a test today (at 9 dpo, and I usually do) because my temperature dropped quite a bit this morning.

Sparkly, I had been keeping a lot of baby stuff and I eventually listed all of it on Ebay. I sold all of the cloth nappies (I had bought brand new ones when I was pregnant in 2011), all of the sweet,tiny little clothes,baby blankets,cot sheet sets and quilts, toys etc. The only things I haven't sold is the pram,stroller and car seat. I figured it was crazy to keep all those things,taking up space when I might not use them again, and there will always be more gorgeous baby stuff to buy.

notsoold - you sound really positive. I hope you don't have to wait too long.

At least if I get my AF this time I will get to use the CBFM I bought.I guess it didn't work to make me pregnant this month(like Jbrd ) because I didn't buy a brand new onehmm

remnant, not sure about the clot thing. I think it is quite normal. I know that in Traditional Chinese Medicine it means something - but I don't know what, they talk in terms of too much heat, too cold etc and they remedy it with herbs and diet and acupuncture. My acupuncturist used to ask me if I had clots when I had AF. I did have a few, but don't anymore. I have been doing acupuncture for about 4 years, regularly, so that may be why. Acupuncture also cured the pain and cramping I had every month, I don't get it anymore. I suppose it could be coincidence, seeings I am older, but I think acupuncture is really good. And great for fertility and I used it before I had Charlie(though having said that, I still don't have a baby this time sad )

After thinking/talking about progesterone yesterday, I thought I'd have a look at all the tests that were done last year on me. All of them, except AMH were really good. I got FSH of 11 (anything over 10 is high) but on the notes it said they considered it fine. Also my progesterone was 35 , and over here, 11 is the minimum (it's measured differently than in the UK). Of course everything varies from month to month, but after reading it I felt a bit better about my fertility, and just have to try to relax and accept that ttc at this age takes time. I think if you persevere for long enough, you will be rewarded. At least that's my philosophy.

Then I started thinking about how many women I know in RL who have conceived and had a baby over forty: my friend Janine had her last baby at 42, my friend Kris had hers at 41, my colleagues wife - one at 43 and one at 44, my friend's mother - a baby at 45, another colleagues SIL - a "menopause" baby at 47, my bookclub lady's niece had a baby at 42. I am sure there are more that I can't think of right now.

Keep the faith ladies, keep up the opk's, keep shagging, and one day, you too can have a lovely baby to take homebear

greenlizard Wed 12-Dec-12 07:52:58

remnant I think clotting is normal during your AF as long as it isn't excessive. I also think it might be linked to getting older and change in hormones. I have small clots and a couple of years ago I had to have a hysterscopy and I asked my Doc about it. Basically, he said don't worry about it as long as the clots are fairly small in size but if they are large and very frequent seek some advice. You might want to see your GP if it is worrying you?

So today is day CD22 and 9DPO (or Day 4 DPO according to ff as my temp has stayed up for 4 days but i now have a dotted line which apparently means in FF world - the chart is no longer sure but it kind of might be!!). So having ordered some of the cheap 10miu pregnancy tests from Amazon. I tested this morning - BFN of course. I have decided I am not pregnant this month sad as I don't feel like it despite my best efforts to imagine up some symptoms! However, the last couple of months have cost me a fortune in tests so I bought my cheap ones and I will now test everyday until AF arrives. I think it will stop me doing the whole, should I - shouldn't I conversation - resulting in me rushing to the shops to buy expensive tests. Well here's hoping!

At least when my AF comes I can get my blood tests done this month which will at least give me a clue whats going on with my hormones.....

hopefulgum Wed 12-Dec-12 21:49:12

greenlizard, sorry about the BFN. But great that you don't have to spend a small fortune every month. I am still waiting on my cheap tests, so used a First Response this morning, and not surprisingly,it was BFN.I am 10 DPO. I had (what I thought were) some pretty solid symptoms, but the last two mornings my temperature has dropped substantially (though is still above cover line) so I am not surprised. A little disappointed, but I'm remaining positive, I am not ready to give this up yet.

I would really have liked a pregnancy for Christmas, but I'll have to settle for conceiving at Christmas instead. I think I'll O next time around thenwink

CaliBee Thu 13-Dec-12 07:19:31

Good morning ladies
greenlizard and hopeful its early days...keep testing.
Well I have some news....on Monday (just after the incident with the LH test) I did an HPT and about 10 mins later i thought I could see a shadowy line... I convinced myself it was an evap line and tested again twice on Tuesday and again after work yesterday. At least 75% of the tests (cheap internet strips) had this shadowy line. So last night I took myself off down to Boots and spent a small fortune on Clearblue digitals and a First Response. I couldnt wait and did a FR straight away.....a faint pink line!!!!!! I also did another cheap one and the line was def pink aswell.....Clearblue this morning says Pregnant 1-2.
I'm in shock if I'm honest....complete and utter shock and if I'm honest I have no idea what to do next.Help!!!
I was going to wait to tell DP once AF didnt (hopefully)arrive (due tomorrow) but I couldnt wait......the stunned silence followed by "if your taking the piss that's not funny!!!" was priceless. So I'm pregnant....OH MY GOD shock.
I have been awake since silly oclock this morning reminding myself that the road ahead is fragile...the statistics for miscarriage and abnormalities are sooo high in this age group, but I will need you all to support me as you have done so far.....please xxxx

Isabeller Thu 13-Dec-12 07:37:37

xxxx CaliBee

greenlizard Thu 13-Dec-12 07:40:13

Yiippeeee! Calibee that is brilliant!! You must be thrilled (obviously once the shock has worn off!) Congratulations to you and Mr Calibee!


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