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Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

(1000 Posts)
goldengirl71 Thu 11-Oct-12 21:51:58

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

wylie05 Sat 24-Nov-12 10:20:10

Congratulations JBird! Brilliant news.

10000Fireflies Sat 24-Nov-12 20:08:46

Just a quick hi from me. Good luck MAMs in your last few days of pregnancy. Not long now! Congrats jbrd. Always good to see a bfp.

DS spurring me on to start ttc again.... two more teeth appeared this am. Top incisors. The bite will be pretty bad...!!! 22 weeks and 6 teeth!

Irishmammybread Sat 24-Nov-12 23:41:47

Not long to go now Miasmum till that beach ball turns into a bouncing baby!

Hi FF , 6 teeth could inflict quite a nip,hope baby FF is gentle with you!

gum thanks for the recipie, I made the cloud cake for dessert tonight (though unfortunately had no cointreau in and had to use half and half milk and plain choc). It went down very well with everyone, I'll definitely use it again.

remnant Sun 25-Nov-12 10:04:01

good morning everyone

I'm all excited about the cbfm. It is at least reporting some change in status.
I went from low on friday, to high on saturday and this morning it's a 'peak'.
That's a bit quick I think hmm
Anyway, we did manage to get some swi in last night, which means I'll be able to indulge fully in 2ww anxieties this month. I'll see if we can do some more tonight..

ff, if you want to use teething as a reason to wean don't follow the advice on mumsnet about how to put an end to the biting. Look where that go me.

gum, also interested about the progesterone supplements post bfp. Is that something often prescribed to older women? I wonder how well informed most gp's are about helping older women maintain a pregnancy. Not very I should think...

irish don't see what harm getting the day 3 and day 21 tests can do, they're easy to get at least

mamaslatts, welcome! did you really manage to read the whole thread?

miasmum very excited for you x

hopefulgum Sun 25-Nov-12 11:32:59

Remnant, I am typing on my phone as we have no internet at the moment.our phoneline is down and in australia, inthe country, it might be days til Ihave the internet. So bear with me if I have spelling errors and haven't written names in bold.

As for the progesterone, there's a couple of reasons. A lady i know miscarried once or twice in her early forties and her dr put her on progesterone next time and she has had a baby at 43 and 44 using progesterone. I also read a book called " is your body baby friendly" which said that taking progesterone helped maintain pregnancy because it stopped the body seeing a fetus as foriegn body, particularly after recurrent doctor has had conflicting advice from fertility specialists, but as there is no evidence of harm she feels it is worth trying.
I just hope i get another bfp one day. I still feel hopeful and for some weird reason have had a feeling for some time that it would happen when i am 46. However i have had certain feelings that have come to nothing, but have had some physic thingies happen. I knew when my sister was pregnant, twice,without her telling me. And also another friend. But dont seem to know for myself. Gosh, this one handed typing is giving me a hand cramp!

tinselahohoho Sun 25-Nov-12 14:21:36

Hello everyone!

I was here earlier this year (was twirly before Santa kicked in grin ) and just popped back to see if anyone was still lurking in the snug. There's hippy and Gum et al still scoffing the cake . . .

Anyway, before I knew where I was (wink), I'd read bloody pages of it all again . . . you've all been going through it, haven't you? Big hugs to all of you who have had someone trying to bring their version of reality onto the thread. There was always so much love and support here (me and the girls always felt very welcome), and I don't think anyone who has been through what we have need to have 'real life' shoved in our faces. We know all too well what real life is.

The wonderful thing about this thread is that we can say what we want about our emotions, our longing for a baby, and we know someone will understand. We may also know it's unlikely to happen, but the rest of the world is telling us that, and, quite frankly, if someone here doesn't realise that, then they need to be somewhere else.

This thread has been built on tears and heartache, with a few dollops of loveliness in between from the snug babies. I'm still rooting for you all, even if I've retired, and still hope that all your dreams will come true x

JBrd Sun 25-Nov-12 21:14:52

Evening all! It's been a busy weekend here, not much time to sit down with MN. Hope you are all well, and thanks again for all the congrats and good wishes!

hopeful - the only thing that I did differently this cycle was to follow my FertilityFriend chart religiously, trying to dtd as often as possible in the days before ovulation. Pretty much what everyone does here, so not much help, I'm afraid!
I used to be pretty slack and wait until my positive OPK before getting going dtd. This had really only been my 2nd month of temping and using FF, but I learned so much about my cycle from this forum and from FF that I'm almost starting to wonder how I managed to fall pregnant last time! I was so naive then wink.
I hope that my strategy with throwing lots of money at fertility shenanigans works for you as well. I mean, what do I do now with my cbfm, the sticks and the monster of the book?!?

remnant - good luck with your 2ww, all fingers crossed for you!

CaliBee - I realise how difficult long-distance relationships are, I've done it, too. Did you manage to meet with your DP during his leave (was it this weekend?)?

MiaAlexandrasmummy - you're nearly there, hope it all goes well for you!

This weekend, I have tried to not think about all the things that I need to do in the next few weeks/months, I just wanted to enjoy the thought that I am finally pregnant. But there's quite a lot to sort out - I'll have to not only call the MW, but also try and get an appointment with my GP asap (and you might remember how difficult that is!). Due to my medical history, I will need to take medication all through my pregnancy, so I need to get them to prescribe it to me, and also refer me to a consultant. Just the idea of having to spend an hour on the phone tomorrow morning, trying to get through to the GP, makes my heart sink already.

My last pregnancy was very straightforward and uncomplicated (well, apart from the birth, that is) - I was under 40 and very healthy. This time, neither applies. Ah hey-ho, one step at a time.

I almost feel a bit of a fraud, to be honest - you ladies have been through so much, such heart-breaking experiences with ttc, mc, losing a child... I had none of that, apart from being desperate for a BFP. But I found such wonderful support on here, so much advice and help, and mostly, open ears and hearts that were willing to listen to my woes when I thought I can't talk to anyone else.
If you don't mind, I will continue to pop in here, to see how you are all doing. I wish you all a BFP with a sticky bean as soon as possible!

Isabeller Sun 25-Nov-12 22:09:29

Thank you Diege I attempted to reply before but my Mum got whisked back into hospital yesterday so I'm a bit all over the place.

It is really good reading of everyone's different experience and does make me feel less odd. We have emailed yes to the I can really panic smile

Good wishes to all

mamaslatts Sun 25-Nov-12 23:17:05

remant just about, but took most of the evening!

Congratulations to those of you with your BFPs!

I was wondering if anyone found their cycle length increased as they got older? Mine used to be 27 days but now is more like 29 and I'm less regular. Currently on cd32 (Fear not, have already done 4 tests all neg although 3 were '3 for £1' from supersavers hmm )

Made me remember the constant testing with ds2. Must try not to do that every month. My most vivid memory of TTC last time was going to Tesco on Boxing day (only place open) and asking for the pg test as they were behind the counter. The woman went oooh smile wink then I went hmm and she was like grin Goood luuuck! WTF?? Anyway it was negative sad that time so will buy online only from now on.

Do seriously need to put the breaks on tho. I peeked into a name thread blush Save me from myself and crushing disappointment.

Irishmammybread Sun 25-Nov-12 23:37:35

tinsel thank you for posting with those words of support and encouragement.
Isabeller hope your Mum is ok.
remnant I think I will try to get a doctor's appointment to discuss doing some blood work,if I can't get it done on the NHS I'll see if I can order the blood kits myself and book in with the nurse to take the samples.
It's a busy week this week though. My parents are coming over from Ireland for a few days tomorrow. It's DD2's 9th birthday on Tues,we've booked a party at Pizza Express where she and 15 of her friends will make their own pizzas, sounds messy but hopefully fun.
One of the mums who I haven't seen for a while is pregnant and due on exactly the same day in March I would have been.(She's 40). It's going to be really hard seeing her bump but I know she tried for about 3 years to conceive this baby so I am happy for her .She knows about my miscarriages and is lovely but I know I'm going to feel emotional inside. I can't avoid her so I'm going to just have to face up to it !
gum thanks for the info on progesterone,I'm going to ask my doctor about it when I finally get to see her.Hope your internet connection is restored soon.
JBrd good luck with making all your appointments in the morning!

CaliBee Mon 26-Nov-12 07:46:40

Morning all....
jbrd will be thinking of you and phoneathon this morning. isabeller hope your Mum is recovering well.
mammaslatts I had a mirena coil removed (which I never stopped bleeding on) in February, followed by 2 months of a mini pill before stopping all to ttc. I had a 51day cycle followed by a couple of normal 28 dayers then a 46 and 44 days. I'm 42 and hadnt expected it tbh. I stupidly thought that as I had no probems in my early twenties with conceiving it wouldnt be disimilar now. How wrong I was. We have now been ttcing for 7 months and have been told my chances are very very slim due to my low AMH and high FSH. sad.
So I'm cd12 today on first Clomid cycle and I have my first internal scan to look forward to later.....eeek. I'm trying to be positive but I havent had any side effects whatsoever so for some reason I'm expecting to be told it hasnt worked.

TinaO99 Mon 26-Nov-12 08:48:31

way to go Jbrd congratulations, great to see another bfp we're all on a roll here!

welcome to mamaslatts hope we can all be of support to you in your ttc journey :-)

Diege I booked the scan then that day got my hospital scan date through lol so I cancelled the private scan as my NHS one is on the 2nd Dec so not long to go. Can't wait to see the beanies again to see how they're growing (hopefully anyway!)

we had a huge row with dd on saturday which culminated with my dh telling her to not come back and me sobbing my eyes out but all was resolved yesterday and it helped to bring out dd's feelings about the babies which she'd been holding in including the fact she was worried I'd die having them bless her so maybe it was all good in the end but very exhausting for me I have to say and I was worried about all the stress at the time

hope everyone is well, have a nice Monday all xx

remnant Mon 26-Nov-12 18:28:07

Tina, sounds like you've been through the mill! Better out than in though indeed, and quite sweet that she's so worried about you.

Calibee, did you have the scan today? How did it go? I was idly wondering on the bus today about whether it was possible to freeze sperm at home, for later use. I guess not. sad

irish i wish you think skin for tomorrow.

I had a second 'peak' cbfm status today, but had a negative OPK yesterday. Odd. Anyway, we've managed SWI last two nights. I'm not sure we'll manage a third night in a row to be honest. I believe we've done enough anyway for me to start maternity leave etc hmm

Also rang surgery. My doctor is still on holiday, but I got some details out of the receptionist, ie. FSH level 8.6, and LH 3.5. I'm sure they were testing for more than 2 things on day 3, and there was the day 21 test too. I think I'll have to wait for the GP who sent me for the tests to get full details.

remnant Mon 26-Nov-12 18:44:16

i meant thick, not think skin

CaliBee Mon 26-Nov-12 19:06:17

remnant your results sound encouraging grin
Had my scan this afternoon. Showed two cysts on left ovary of 18 and 27mm...they couldnt locate my right ovary atall. They have booked me in for another scan on Friday morning and I'm hoping and praying that ovulation doesnt happen before that....DP is home for Friday and Saturday night.Please, Please please loool. Who am I kidding????
tina sometimes it takes a big blowup for the air to be cleared.I really hope your daughter feels a bit more encouraged about things now. x

CaliBee Mon 26-Nov-12 19:07:42

I remember googling freezing sperm.....its a no no. Apparently our conventional food freezers wont go nearly cold enough and will freeze it too slowly.

Isabeller Tue 27-Nov-12 17:05:19

bear (= warm thoughts) to all (because I am feeling totally inarticulate)

Mum is not great and I am stuck in waiting for an electrician when I want to be at the hospital but really I am feeling a bit gutted because our kind egg donor has had to pull out for personal reasons. I firmly believe she has the absolute right to withdraw at any point for any reason (although the clinic don't say what it is it could well be illness) I can't help feeling very sad at another lost hope.

CaliBee Tue 27-Nov-12 17:27:36

Awww isabeller I'm so sorry to hear about your donor and you not being able to spend time with your Mum. ...big hugs.
If I'm honest I dont really understand how the donor scheme works....would you mind explaining it a little more to me?? x

greenlizard Tue 27-Nov-12 21:17:23

Thought I would come on and say how my trip to the GP went. I don't know what I was expecting (well actually I do - I thought the Dr would be judgemental about my age [43] and my chances and to be fair I thought I would get a lecture). I am pleased to say that it couldn't be further from the truth - she was lovely! Basically, she acknowledged that my age will have affected my fertility and chances of conceiving naturally but that it does happen and women in their 40's do successfully conceive and deliver healthy babies (just not as many as younger women). So I am off to get my bloods done (FSH, LH, Prolactin and Progeserone). Other half needs to get his sperm check over too so I feel at least I am not alone in all of this! She also said that even though that I have only been trying for a few months, no need to wait to establish if there is an obvious issue.

Interestingly, she had a view on using charting, OPK's etc..her view was that as sperm lives for up to 7 days in fallopian tubes having sex 2/3 times a week throughout your cycle is sufficient and much more fun. She said that she sees many people who get very stressed about trying and it isn't necessary. I was explaining that I think it means that you are doing something positive towards the process rather than crossing your fingers but she wasn't convinced! Basically her message was take good care of yourself, relax and enjoy the process. I think she was shocked when I told her that my partner and I have sex at least once a day when we are together [he travels with work so it's not every day] but seemed to think that it wouldn't affect the quality of his sperm as long as it is healthy to start with. When I left, she said good luck and I hope the next time I see you are pregnant - I thought that was really nice (or do I have low expectations of Dr's?)

I know I am new to TTC'ng and I reserve the right to change my mind when I am peed off about it all but I am feeling quite fortunate at the moment. I spent a long time single and thought I wouldn't ever meet someone I wanted (and they wanted) to have children with, so I feel very lucky to have met an amazing man at 41, who loves me to bits and wants a child with me even though he has children to whom he is very close from a previous relationship. Even if we don't manage to have a child, the fact he has given me the chance to try...makes me happy.

Sorry for the long rambling post and feel free to remind of this in a few months!

hopefulgum Tue 27-Nov-12 22:54:19

What a lovely post greenlizard, I love that your GP is positive,and it is so nice to hear that you DP is keen to have kids with you.

I think your GP is right about the charting etc - in the way that for some people it can make the ttc process more stressful.But it really does depend on what kind of person you are. Personally I love charting and it has helped me understand and feel better about a lot of awful stuff over the years. For example,after my miscarriages it took a while to get back on track with my cycle and having the charts helped me understand what was going on. After my second miscarriage,for a long time I didn't have proper periods. I would have a temperature change (which indicated I was ovulating) but I wouldn't have a proper bleed, just pain and the tiniest amount of blood. My charts showed that I was still cycling, but I think there was some scarring from the ERPC that I had. If I wasn't charting I would have though I wasn't ovulating. Fortunately things have righted themselves and my periods are pretty normal ( though lighter these days). I find the charts reassuring too, if I ovulate later in my cycle, so I don't get all hopeful about pregnancy if I ovulated late,rather than AF being late.

Isabeller - I am so sorry you are having a tough time.I was going to give you a little bear emoticon, but I can't find it. ((hugs)) I do hope your mum is getting better. To have your donor pull out now would be such a blow. I hope you will still pursue getting another donor.

Calibee, wouldn't it be great if we could just freeze sperm at homegrin It would make these ttc shenanigans a bit easier.

My Dh is taking his father to a specialist in the city on Thursday, will stay overnight, and it is getting close to ovulation time, and I started to feel a bit panicy, but it's only one night and I am sure I could coax a shag out of him tonight and then when he gets backwinkIt is a strange time in our lives - both DH's parents are unwell and it feels like we are moving into a time we they need looking after, but I still want to be having young children. It doesn't matter, although it is a bit stressful for DH, it won't always be and I still feel one more baby would complete our family.

How are you feeling jbrd?

How is everyone else?*Echoalone*, are you still visiting the thread?Pop in and say hello.

Isabeller Tue 27-Nov-12 23:09:16

(computer halfway up spout so might truncate message)

The scheme I am on is at a UK clinic, Callibee, and the basic idea is, for example: a young woman (under 35) needs IVF because of a factor with her partner (eg male infertility, a lesbian couple) or something like her having no fallopian tubes but perfectly healthy womb and ovaries or being single.

When she has an egg collection cycle as many as 20 eggs may be produced which could result in 10 embryos most of which she would probably never have reimplanted.

Instead of a lot of embryos being created which would eventually be destroyed she can choose to share her eggs. She would have to pass all the medical checks needed for an egg donor including implications counselling, then go through her egg collection cycle. As long as enough are collected she would donate half her eggs to someone like me to be used with my partner's sperm. I would pay the cost of treatment for both of us.

We remain anonymous to each other but if I was fortunate enough to have a child they could contact any half siblings at 16 (by mutual agreement) and at 18 contact the egg donor.

To me this all seems as healthy as possible for all concerned. The donor doesn't have to take any medication she wouldn't be taking anyway and it feels very positive and mutually supportive. There are loads of questions about this I haven't gone into here but I have thought about.

I haven't been through this but I imagine that if the sharer got pregnant and I didn't I'd feel at least I enabled someone else to have a longed for child and from what sharers have written they often feel the same way.

Hope this is not TMI.

Fortunately I got to see Mum just before the end of visiting time and she was looking much more cheerful, amazing how loads of painkillers and oxygen can do that smile really hope we start to get some answers from the doctors tomorrow.

Isabeller Tue 27-Nov-12 23:10:46

thank you hopeful bear is [ bear ] without spaces

CaliBee Wed 28-Nov-12 07:09:23

Thankyou so much for that Isabeller. I didnt realise that you would pay for the donors treatment too. Some years ago I looked into being an egg donor....I think it was fairly early days for our fertility clinic here. How ironic that I would consider the services myself sad at a later time. Alas money is not there for me ......

TinaO99 Wed 28-Nov-12 09:04:07

Isabeller I'm also sorry to hear about your donor - I've been the successful recipient from a sharer donor and am now pregnant with twins thanks to her generosity. Not sure which clinic you're with but the one I was with had a successful recruitment drive so ended up with more donors than recipients so hopefully you won't be waiting too long for another match - it must have been a bitter disappointment to you though especially if you had already started down regulating?

My scan is next Tuesday and I keep waking up in a cold sweat worrying that one or both of the twins will have disappeared when I go for it, now I'm used to the idea of having two I get so worried that I might lose one, I keep feeling my stomah and worrying that I can't feel anything yet and I don't show much if at all - will this worry never end lol

Isabeller Wed 28-Nov-12 09:49:42

Calibee I feel incredibly lucky that I have a way of finding the money for this cycle but it is a worryingly large amount and I dread to think of the consequences of it 'nearly' working as I've read of people getting themselves in huge debt to continue pursuing treatment after treatment.

We have been ttc naturally for a long time and I had to think hard before shelling out for duofertility which lead to further tests which may well have saved my life (whole other story).

It is so good to hear of your positive experience greenlizard.

I had a similar experience to you, hopeful, and really liked knowing more about my body with the duofertility charts. Best wishes for your DHs parents, I so identify with your situation.

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