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Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

(993 Posts)
RainboxFX Thu 11-Oct-12 09:22:12

A shiny new thread in memory of our angels. To bring us all BFPs, sticky beans and healthy happy Rainbows.

Ellypoo Thu 11-Oct-12 09:31:52

Thanks for the new thread rainbox and thanks moomins for the old one.

Huge congrats little - that's fantastic news, here's to a sticky bean & a very uneventful next 9 months! How many weeks are you, do you know?

wtw, great news about Holly, so pleased she's doing well, and i hope your doc is helpful and understanding that you are all over the place at the moment. I hope that the jabs go ok tomorrow. Re the coil, quite a few of my friends have had them after having babies, and most of them have got on with it ok.

Found out last night that my uncle (Mum's brother) has got lung cancer. So shaken, I feel so bad for him - his son died in a car accident a few years ago, he's been single for decades, and now this - he's already really depressed following my cousin's death. He is having a full body CT scan on Tuesday so they should find out if it's spread anywhere - hopefully not, and then they need to find out what type he has so that they can decide treatment. It's just so horrid, he's such a lovely guy.

fanjodisfunction Thu 11-Oct-12 09:44:46

Beautiful thread title rainbox thankyou for the new thread may it bring lots more BFP's for us still hoping and uneventful pg's for us still carrying and lots of support for all of us.
Thanks moomins for the old thread.

So sad I had to get the old crochet hook out again last night after the sad news of another mumsnetter whose baby died of SIDS. So sad. I'm hoping the woollyhug will give her warmth in the coming months.

blizy Thu 11-Oct-12 10:05:23

Thank you for the new thread rainbox, I love the title. Let's hope this thread brings us what we wish for. Thanks for the old thread Moomins.

Elly- so sorry to hear about your uncle, I hope it hasn't spread and they can do something for him. X

Be back later, baby mindee is just asleep, I'm of to enjoy a cuppa in peace!

KleinePoppet Thu 11-Oct-12 10:15:09

Oh a lovely new thread! Thank you so much rainbox. Also thanks to moomins for the old one, and I hope you are doing ok?

little many many congratulations! I am so pleased for you. Go right ahead and do some excited whooping if you feel you can - it IS lovely news, despite all the worry and stress etc - so, don't be afraid to seize those moments of happiness in amongst it all.

elly I am so sorry for your uncle, it is spectacularly unfair. I hope so much that the cancer is contained and can be 'easily' treated. A good friend of ours had lung cancer last year so I have a little knowledge of what a hideous time this is. Do you live nearby, will you be able to help at all?

fan that's so sad sad Bless you for contributing to the woolly hug. I have just started knitting again, and am hoping to learn to crochet at some stage too, so maybe one day I'll be able to contribute as well.

Love to all xx esp angel, I hope yesterday passed as easily as possible xx

TooImmatureGhostiesAndGhoulies Thu 11-Oct-12 10:20:28

Thank you for the new thread, Rainbox!

Little, congratulations! So pleased for you. Wishing you a straightforward pg and a very wriggly bean.

Elly, so sorry to hear about your uncle.

I was talking to a close friend who is 37 weeks pg last night and she told me that she had a scare 3 weeks ago - she was at the community MW for a routine appt and the MW couldn't find the hb and sent her to the hospital (45 mins drive). sad Luckily the baby turned out to be okay after she was put on the trace, but the fright she had! Other people's pregnancies are so scary too - I want her baby to be born healthy and well soon, so that any chance of things going wrong is over! She also had an incident of reduced movement last week and went in for another trace. She's not sure if she's just overreacting because of what happened to me and Thea, but what if she isn't and there is something wrong? <panics by proxy>

Bluetinkerbell Thu 11-Oct-12 12:28:28

Rainbox thanks for the new thread! Lovely title indeed! Moomins thanks for the old one! x

oh Elly so sorry for your uncle, it is such a horrible disease... we were so lucky my mum got through breastcancer...

Had my consultant appointment this morning with scan and review, scan was all fine, baby measuring perfect for gestation 34+4 weeks (even with my small bump wink) Sonographer still couldn't be 100% sure of girl, although she said she saw something that looked like girly bits...
Saw registrar afterwards, think my consultant was busy. He hadn't bothered reading my notes so was a bit insensitive... But most importantly, I was released to midwife led care and got the go ahead for a home birth smile very very pleased!
Now still trying to sort out the silly whooping cough vaccine with my doctor's surgery...

Bluetinkerbell Thu 11-Oct-12 13:12:41

little would you mind me sharing your good news on the November thread? or would you rather wait a bit longer? I understand completely whichever you want, or even if you don't want to share. x

Bluetinkerbell Thu 11-Oct-12 13:28:50

Hi ladies,

I set up a thread about Pregnancy Loss Awareness week and Wave of Light here I've reported it and asked it to become a sticky one, to raise more awareness!


Ellypoo Thu 11-Oct-12 13:54:18

Thanks blue - it isn't a sticky at the moment, but I have just posted on it. Fantastic news that you have been released to MW care, that's fab news for your HB!!!

Too, I'm so sorry that your friend had a scare, and thank goodness that the baby was ok. I'm sure she will have your experience with Thea will be on her mind, but that isn't a bad thing if it means that she goes to the MW with any concerns that she has, particularly about movements etc. It is always better to be safer by being cautious than just ignoring & risking it.

Oh fan, that's awful about the MN'r whose baby has died, so sad - you are truly lovely for making a square for the woolhug (love that name - I want one!) for her xxx

amyboo Thu 11-Oct-12 14:23:48

Sorry I haven't had time to read the thread much. Been consumed with worry and work for the last few weeks. Life is certainly hectic at the moment. Just had my 12 week scan today, at 12+4. Baby was looking fine, heart beating away - we saw his legs and arms kicking away.... Only bad thing is that he was in a funny position, so the gynae couldn't see the nasal bone. And, the nuchal fold meaasurement has come back at just above the limit. He took 3 measurements at 2.47mm, 3.2mm and 3.2mm. He said there wasn't much point doing the blood tests, but we've decided to do them anyway, as we'd like to have some more information to base our decisions on. The gynae is recommending an amniocentrisis at 16 weeks. If it came back positive and we decided to abort, I'd have to give birth, just like I did with my lovely little DS2. Am now terrified about the results. And about the thought of waiting. And about the potential decision we might have to take. I never had anything approaching borderline measurements with my other pregnancies - we didn't see DS1's nasal bone either, but the nuchal fold measurement was so low they were happy.

Hoping and praying that everything turns out OK, but I just can't help that feel that with mine and DH's recent luck, everything will go wrong. Am in tears about it all, as I just wanted to be able to tell my close friends and family.

Sorry for such a self-centred post.

amyboo Thu 11-Oct-12 14:24:17

Sorry, the measurements should have been 2.7mm, 3.2mm and 3.2mm, not 2.47mm.

TooImmatureGhostiesAndGhoulies Thu 11-Oct-12 15:03:49

Oh Amy, I'm so sorry you've got this to worry about too. If it's any help at all, I went through the same thing with Maia. I can't remember what her nuchal measurement was, but that combined with the blood test (PAPP-A, I think) gave her a ratio of 1:10 chance of Down's. I had the amnio at 16 weeks and she turned out to be fine. I'm hoping and praying that your little one will be fine too. I know just how horrible and scary it is for you right now - I felt sick the whole time. DH and I did decide in the end that we would probably abort if it was Down's, but I am so glad that we never had to make that decision for real. I'm here for hand-holding whenever you want to talk, and feel free to ask me any questions about the whole process.

Blue, yay for your home birth! Sorry the registrar was insensitive, though.

TooImmatureGhostiesAndGhoulies Thu 11-Oct-12 15:06:06

Amy, don't know if you've come across it already, but MN has a section devoted to things like this here.

Ellypoo Thu 11-Oct-12 15:37:20

Oh too, I'm sorry you are going through such a worrying time - you really shouldn't have to after everything else, it's just not fair.

Ellypoo Thu 11-Oct-12 15:40:17

I have just come across this poem & wanted to share - you may well have seen it before, but here it is anyway:

What a Grieving Mother Really Feels....

Hello old friend, Oh yes you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please, don’t look away
And change the subject, It’s ok.

You see at first I couldn’t feel,
It took so long, but now it’s real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk, come sit with me?

You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, “My, she is so strong.”
They did not know I couldn’t feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.

But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from me.. My child! My child!
The horror of reality.

But everyone has moved on, you see,
Everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.

My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.

“But I thought you were over it,”
Their eyes seem to say--
No, no, I can’t listen to this, not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say, “Oh, I’m ok”.
But inside I am crying, as I turn away.

And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All I’ve just said to you in my heart.

This was courtesy of Sweet Dreams Our Angels, on Facebook.

Little9 Thu 11-Oct-12 17:50:46

Thanks everyone. Will definitely need the hand holding. Have already got the tiredness but too early for anything else - only 4 weeks. OMG, so far to go!!! Got a Drs appointment on Monday so will find out what happens this time round. Midwives said I would be on consultant led care but not sure what that entails yet.

Thank you Rainbow for the new thread. I'll start the next one if someone gives me a gentle nudge when the time comes.

Blue - Daisy's due date was 3rd November so a few weeks to go yet. Not sure what I'll do but think I'll definitely be taking the day off work. If you feel the November thread would be interested, then please share away.

wtw - good news on the biopsy. One of my friends had the coil fitted (sorry don't know what sort) and she got on with it ok.

I'd like to join the secret FB group if it's still going. Can someone let me know what I do, please?

Will post again, when I have caught up with the last thread!

AngelGeorgie Thu 11-Oct-12 18:20:36

Congrats Little xxx like you my dates are/ were v close.. Georgie was born 10/10/10 & Phebs 18/10/11. Very hard but so worth it in the end xxx
Elly sorry about your uncle .... Xxx
Kleine thanks I m ok today xxxx hope u re ok?
Blue yeh ..... For midwife led delivery & good appt xxx
amy sorry you re having a crap time. I never had the triple test with either Phebs or Georgie as knew there was an increased risk with my age ( was 38/40) .... Didn't want to be in the position where I had to make that decision. Hope u get some good news soon xxx
Hi all; I m ok , yesterday was hard, draining & sad.... Tried to have an early night but to no avail !!!!!phebs teething like mad!!!! So no sleep at all... Hard day at work; lots of crap so knackered now!!!!
Love to all xxxxgrin

Bluetinkerbell Thu 11-Oct-12 18:24:53

little I think your pregnancy must be a sign from my Sterre... Her due date was also 3rd November, last year and now you're due on her birthday smile
pm me your real name and I'll see if i can find you and add you to the group

Whatevertheweather Thu 11-Oct-12 20:10:40

Lovely new thread rainbox smile

Thank you Elly I'm so sorry about your uncle. Bastard bloody cancer sad

Great news Blue homebirth on then? smile You are so close now xx

Bless you Too I find other people's pregnancies stressful too. Especially when I think they're being to blasé

Fan you are so lovely contributing your woolly skills again. So sad sad Cot death is my current big big fear. Can i still be your donor? Do you want to choose some wool, let me know and I'll get it sent to you?

Oh Amy big big hugs. It's such a hideously scary time. Have they booked you in for another scan?

My lovely little Holly was a brave girl with her jabs today. She's a bit out of sorts tonight so we're snuggled under our woolly hug. Off to Harry Potter Studio Tour tomorrow. Can't wait grin

Love to all xxx

Ellypoo Thu 11-Oct-12 20:21:10

little am totally here for handholding - I'm now 9+4, and I'm completely with you being terrified! Am also consultant led, although I haven't seen my consultant yet - maybe after 12 wk scan (2 wks today), but iv had 2 early scans already because I had some spotting and was so scared it had all gone wrong. I hope it goes well at your GP appt and that you can get referred for an early scan for reassurance.

wtw, forgot to say, great news about the biopsy too!

Thanks for your comments about my uncle - he only lives 1/2 hour away so we will be around to help him and keep him company, and my mum will be round with him too, it's just really horrid sad

angel, I hope that you can sleep better tonight, it must be so draining x
Hope everyone is ok xxx

spilttheteaagain Thu 11-Oct-12 20:39:51

Thanks for the new thread Rainbox smile
Congratulations on your BFP little9 that's fab!
Elly I'm so sorry about your unccle, what shocking news. How is he taking it? Love that poem by the way.
Well done with Holly's jabs wtw. It is horrid, but I always remind myslf that it's me getting in a tiz beforehand, the baby's have none of the anticipation fear.
angel arrrgh to the teething. Here's to a better night <crosses fingers, toes, the lot!>
amy I feel for you, such a stressful time. I didn't have the screening, I didn't want to be faced with the choice and couldn't accept the risk of mc from the amnio. Hoping all is well in there xx
blue great news on your hb!
fan that poor mother, how lovely you are.

So tired here. I think it's the aftermath of Bobbie's birthday & the build up. Just drained. I keep telling myself thaht I have to now take the deep breath and get back out into the world and carry on with normal life. I'm been a bit hermitty over the last couple of weeks. But I don't really want to, I feel very withdrawn, tired, not interested, and just very different to everyone else. Need a kick up the arse!! It's not fair on Freya to be holed up at home either!

spilttheteaagain Thu 11-Oct-12 20:42:12

Ack, just re read my post. Tge bit to wtw should of course say babies not baby's. <Disgusted at apostrophe misuse. Disgusted I tell ye!>

TooImmatureGhostiesAndGhoulies Thu 11-Oct-12 21:13:33

<disgusted at Spilt and her misuse of apostrophes> grin

spilttheteaagain Thu 11-Oct-12 21:28:01

I feel all dirty grin

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