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To wait or not to wait......

(7 Posts)
Flosie1989 Sun 07-Oct-12 21:25:10

So here's the question....

Is it generally better to have all your kiddies one after the other to get it out the way or is it better to wait and have a bit more of an age gap between them??

I'm sure it depends on each individual situation but would like to hear other people's opinions/experiences!

Racheljane4 Sun 07-Oct-12 22:49:45

Hi flossie, I'd be really interested in seeing replies to this question too as my perception of an ideal age gap has been tested over the last 21 months. I have a fantastic 3 1/2 year old DD and when she was 2 we decided to start to try for another, we fell pregnant straight away which sadly ended in MC at 12 weeks. 14 months later and we're still no nearer to setting our age gap as we've had another 2 MC. I've really come to terms with all of the losses and fear and resentment which the MCs brought except I have a nagging voice at the back of my head which is crying out about the ever increasing age gap that there will be between DD and number 2 when s/he arrives. Early on I felt like I was surrounded by other mums who had a very small age gap and I though that was ideal, I never thought in a million years that there would be a large age gap between my children but I'm facing the reality of that's how it's going to be. After talking this through with lots of different people I think there's really no ideal but IMO I think it's best to get with things as you never know how things are going to turn out. xx What are your thoughts?? xx

Flosie1989 Mon 08-Oct-12 06:48:04

Hi rachel I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. That must have been so hard for you.

Well my dd is only 5 months old but I'd happily start trying again now! DP on the other hand isnt keen, he says he's not sure if he'd like more children and if he did decide to, he'd like to wait a couple of years.... His reason being to let dd grow up a little bit.

My reason for wanting more now is so I'm still young when they're all growing up together. I'm 23 now and would like to be finished having kids by 30. That's just me though.....

But yes I know the best laid plans go wrong..... Xx

cupcake78 Mon 08-Oct-12 18:22:28

I tend to think its easier if one can walk and feed themselves before the next arrives.

Racheljane4 Mon 08-Oct-12 18:49:17

I was no where near ready to have another when DD was 5 months!! If everything goes to plan that you could have 2 under 2s!! Which I think would be hard work. I've a few friends that had a 2 year age gap and they found that hard with both being in nappies. it's a good point from cupcake, if number 1 has a level of independence it will make it easier when number 2 arrives. Still, when did the sensible option count when we're talking about women wanting babies???!!!


Flosie1989 Tue 09-Oct-12 08:32:46

Haha very true rachel

I think it's just because since having dd I've realised this is what I'm meant to do -have lots of babies! She's my everything and I love watching her develop. To have more would be amazing grin

crazyhead Tue 09-Oct-12 22:53:09

Depends how old you are. If you are old like me then I think it is best to get on with it if you want a second kid (though I'm talking a two year age gap minimum rather than Irish twins here)

If you are a spring chicken, there is basically no ideal - depends what suits you really. Have ten babies! smile

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