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ICSI? With toddler in tow?

(13 Posts)
QTPie Tue 25-Sep-12 20:19:13


Have been TTC #2 since Feb, I am 38.5 - so didn't want to hang around re checking fertility. I had a gynaecologist check in Dec (all clear, although hormone levels not run). DH just had sperm analysis: has come back with reasonable motility and morphology, but very low count (1m per ml - normal is greater than 40m per ml).

Our next step would be Consultant appointment (we are doing things privately - don't want to timescales or restrictions of NHS), but I am pretty certain that they were recommend iCSI.

Any advice? Anyone done it with a toddler in tow (DS is a very healthy and active 2 year 7 month old)?


vallinnapod Tue 25-Sep-12 20:43:02

Hi - just watching with interest. DS (IVF) has just turned one and we are heading back towards the end of the year to use 2 frozen embryos.

I think if I could get pregnant naturally I would leave it another year but if this fails and we need to go full on again I want my eggs as young as possible smile

I take comfort in that IVF itself had no real effect on me in general, chronic tiredness during down reg though. I had real emotional issues once I got my BFP - just terrible anxiety that I would MC. I am hoping DS will distract me.

QTPie Tue 25-Sep-12 21:54:09

Thank you vallinnapod and good luck to you smile

Sounds very sensible.

I know that we conceived DS naturally, but that was 3.5 years ago, DH's count is now quite a bit lower (although I know it can fluctuate...) and I am worried about my age: affect on my fertility, the affect of pregnancy, another section and breastfeeding on my body again (I am sure the older you are, the more they take their toll on you) and trying to keep up with a toddler in my 40s.... Knackering!

Chronic tiredness doesnt sound great. I am also worried that it in involves lots of hospital visits and GAs (GA for both collection and transfer?)? The chronic tiredness sounds worrying too - VERY active toddler (swimming, park, toddler gym, more park...).


vallinnapod Wed 26-Sep-12 12:04:55

TBH - when you have no children you can 'dwell' on it all a bit more - the tiredness. Plus, these things affect everyone differently. Can you tee up DH/family just in case?

There is no GA. Egg collection was done under sedation. Felt like I had just had a really good nap! And transfer you are full awake - like a smear test really.

There are lots of hospital visits when you start the stimming drugs in order to check your hormone levels and ovaries' responses. They tend to be first thing in the morning (so they can process the bloods and call you that evening to give you the dose you need to take) and only last 10-15 mins (although they can run late). Most people stim for around a week, they couldn't get the levels right for me so it took 3!


QTPie Wed 26-Sep-12 13:13:14

Thanks for some extra info - am glad it isn't GA smile. Sounds a bit better.

We live 45 mins to an hour away from the hospital, so that would add fun for frequent visits....

I am making DH aware of the effect it may well have on me, although you are right that - having a toddler - I may have less time to "dwell". My mother isn't a lot of help (although we shall see) and the in-laws live in Hong Kong. MIL is very good and would probably come here for the duration at the drop of a hat, but more than a week or so tends to be too much ;)

Will look at trying to draft in extra help if I can: to make everyone's life easier and maybe keep me less grumpy and more sane (I don't want to turn into a tired, grumpy, nasty lady for the duration.... sad )

vallinnapod Wed 26-Sep-12 18:38:39

DH was ready to don his hard hat and dig a trench for the duration of our IVF but was pleasantly surprised. He said I was nicer than usual hmmgrin

QTPie Wed 26-Sep-12 20:26:42

Ha ha smile

I loved pregnancy and bfing because I didn't get PMS - I really dont suffer idiots well during PMS (DH regularly gets it in the neck... ;) ).

First Consultant appointment on Sat 13th (toddler in tow). He can refer straight to IVF (or more likely ICSI) - which he can then do. Sperm Analysis done. Consultant will do a physical and scan at the appointment. I have no recent blood tests, though (had them last done just before conceiving DS, 3.5 years ago - everything was fine).

Will find out what is what and try to get things moving ASAP.


freelancescientist Wed 26-Sep-12 21:19:00

Please don't be offended but I think you will find some of the appointments quite difficult with a little one in tow - and you may be made to feel quite uncomfortable in the waiting room with a small child - assisted conception units are not - in my experience as a staff member - child friendly places. There are unlikely to be toys etc to keep your little one amused or areas where they can run about etc while you are waiting to be seen.
I'd seriously try and find someone to have him especially when you attend for the longer appointments,what will you do with him when you are being scanned for example, and on the day of your egg collection both you and DH will be busy, and I'd be surprised if your clinic would allow him on the ward area (children are not allowed in ours).
I'm only mentioning it as you have mentioned in your posts about him being 'in tow' and I take that to mean he will be attending with you for your visits.

QTPie Wed 26-Sep-12 21:38:36


Sorry, no, you have it wrong.

"in tow" (generally) as in "along for the ride" as in I could imagine IVF/ICSI for a first child, but am worried that it is a lot more complex/tiring when you have a toddler "around"/"on the scene"

He will have to come to some appointments (like the initial one on he Saturday), but we can keep him occupied (without running up and down). My husband can take him out during the scan. He is pretty good (and, at 2 years and 7 months, at an age when he can be occupied)

We have a nanny for two mornings a week, I will be asking if she can pick up extra days (over the treatment period). Otherwise we will juggle and husband will have to be flexible with work (normally fairly possible - his own company).


freelancescientist Wed 26-Sep-12 21:48:12

Glad you have it covered! It is an intense and stressful process and you need to be able to concentrate on it all without worrying about your little one.
Good luck!

QTPie Wed 26-Sep-12 21:54:23

We will work out a way.... I guess that most others do too.

Have a feeling it is going to be a real headache, but really want to give TTC a second child a good go (and natural conception doesn't seem like it will work sad )

GoldenGreen Wed 26-Sep-12 21:54:43

I had IVF when ds was 3 and in some ways it was good to have him as a distraction! And just wanted to say that there were in fact usually lots of children in the waiting room at the clinic - and boxes of toys to play with...I remember this well as had IUI to conceive the first time and would always look at everyone else's children with envy! They were of course only there on the initial consultations and follow up chats - that sort of thing.

It is more than possible to manage, especially if your husband can be flexible about work and your nanny can help out at short notice.

I was lucky and didn't suffer much in the way of mood swings etc, either and found the egg collection under sedation absolutely fine.

QTPie Fri 28-Sep-12 21:28:44

Thank you very much, GoldenGreen, for your perspective smile

I suppose that it depends on the hospital? I have been to this one before, for something else, just cannot remember seeing toys etc (but wasn't looking for them at the time). iPads and iPhones are wonderful distractions, though (Curious George and all smile ).

DS will be a great distraction - I just hope that we can continue to do all of his activities etc whilst I am getting treatment.

Nanny sounds as though she will be able to help out more - will see what the schedule is likely to be and book more time with her. DS adores and she does so much with him.

I am feeling a bit less worried about it now: it will be a bit of a headache juggling, but we will manage smile

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