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Anyone been trying for a long time without even a hint of a BFP?

(13 Posts)
lastboxoftampons Sun 23-Sep-12 18:10:34

We're on month 9 TTC#2 and I haven't even thought I might be pregnant once in the whole time. With DS, I got pregnant first month but then miscarried and he took a further 8 months to conceive. At least then I had a bit of hope we could conceive, but now I feel like there's no hope at all and there must be something seriously wrong!

Have had initial tests and I seem to check out hormonally and structurally. DH having an SA in a few weeks time. Just feeling very defeated. sad Anyone else?

digerd Sun 23-Sep-12 19:22:37

Depends on your age, but also your genes/luck. I became pregnant at 19 and 25, but then went on the pill. At 37 I had cervical cancer removed , but when trying to conceive 2 years later, nothing happened and in 1986 there was only the fertility pill which sent me into PMT 100 x intensified and still didin't get pregnant. A Thyroid infection was diagnosed and cured but still failed to conceive. DH Sperm count was " Brilliant", and in those days was only temperature taking to determine ovulation which also seemed OK, but still no pregnancey, and periods came in 23-26 days when I was always 28 days. No IVF in those days for 41 year-old by then. So sorry about your miscarriage. I know someone who suffered many miscarriages before she naturally went to to term with a healthy baby. Keep trying, and IVF is now available if needed.
There are many women who just, unluckily, have difficulty in conceiving and there is no known cause. I know how devastating it is every month, have you tried the home tests for best time to conceive? Good luck

sinkyroselee Sun 23-Sep-12 22:28:31

Loads of us. Loads of threads. Take your pick. Lots of chat about temping, knicker watching and stick peeing if that takes your fancy. 9 months in really isn't the time to panic- still within "normal" range. What ever that means.

Purpleprickles Sun 23-Sep-12 22:35:39

This will be my ninth month too of ttc%232 so I know where you are coming from. Yes 9 months is nothing in time and is 'normal' but to the person getting bfn after bfn
it's long enough isn't it? I'm now having weekly acupuncture to regulate my periods and increase fertility and I'm feeling less anxious about the lack of success. I'm 35 and dh is 39. He doesn't want medical tests or to try for much longer so I feel the pressure for it to happen but I have to say this is the first month I've felt relaxed about it all. I'm attributing this to the acupuncture, I don't care if it's physiological or psychological as long as I stop feeling angry and stressed and begin to accept that I may just be a mummy to one beautiful boy. Wishing you lots of luck.

Purpleprickles Sun 23-Sep-12 22:36:22

Hmm that was ttc number 2 not 232. I'd be happy with just one more!

Pipbin Sun 23-Sep-12 23:43:28

And it least you have your one DC, you know you can conceive, because you have.

I've been going for 14 cycles without even a sniff of a BFP. And I have never been pregnant.

sinkyroselee Mon 24-Sep-12 07:15:54

Oh pipbin. Sorry you're still feeling so crap. I'm in the same boat - have you had a look over in the BESH thread? Over 30s, over a year, and no wins.

And op, I wasn't trying to belittle you. It's crap. It really is. I'm 3 years with nothing to show for it, despite 1 operation, multiple bloods, too many fanjocams to count and a range of interesting, but essentially useless drugs.

But 9 months is within the normal range for a healthy couple, with no fertility problems to conceive. Speak to your GP. See what's available (given that you have one child- nhs investigations and treatments are across regions). There's plenty of people around here who can offer an ear and advice. (but maybe not me or pipbin- we're far too bitter)

Happilymarried155 Mon 24-Sep-12 09:13:30

Pipbin, me Niether been 18 months, SA fine, bl

mrsconfuseddotcom Mon 24-Sep-12 09:15:53

Yes, three years. Have given up hope now. sad

Happilymarried155 Mon 24-Sep-12 09:16:54

Sorry stupid phone! Blood tests fine, got first fertility test in a few weeks, so worried I have never had BFP and so scared I never will! This ttc is so much harder and more heartbreaking than I thought it was going to be! X

Pipbin Mon 24-Sep-12 12:52:42

Sorry if my comment came across snappy. It wasn't meant to.
I meant it more in a count your blessings kind of way.

ShabbyChit Mon 24-Sep-12 14:24:29

Yep, It will be 3 years of TTC for us in November.
Before we were actively TTC I regularly thought I was pregnant, had 'symptoms' and POAS every few months in panic mode because it wasn't the right time for us then.
However in the last 3 years I have not POAS once as not had a hint of a sign I could be pregnant sad

Realising your period has come again this month when you really don't want it to is the biggest let down ever sad

lastboxoftampons Mon 24-Sep-12 20:37:29

Hi everyone.

I know 9 months is still "normal" but it's so hard to focus on that when everyone around you seems to get pregnant so easily. sad I was really just in a shitty mood when I wrote the OP and just needed a rant. I know you all know what it's like smile

Sinky - not to worry. I know you're right. I've had Day 3 and "Day 21" bloods with all checking out fine. Also had a scan - no fibroids, no endo, no PCOS, healthy looking endometrium and 2 mature follicles at CD12, so all perfectly textbook. CBFM and temp/charting seem to agree that I'm ovulating and doing it when I think I am. Have tried with preseed, without, using softcups, legs on the wall, etc. I have a borderline short LP with lots of spotting before and after AF, but doctors seem to think that's perfectly normal. Have started acupuncture and yoga and I do feel a bit better for it. Spotting seems to be subsiding a bit and in general I feel more positive (the other day was a bit of a blip grin) so maybe this will sort me out? Have also been reading The Fertility Plan by Jill Blakeway and Dr Sami David (she a traditional chinese medicine expert and he the first dr to perform IVF in the states) Lots of good tips...

And this is all well and good if I am the problem. But when DH had his SA when we were TTC for DS, it showed poor morph and motility. I know that sperm stats can vary wildly from SA to SA, let alone four years later, but I know his habits aren't the best...he says he really really wants this baby, and that he's willing to do his part, but his lifestyle changes have been minimal so far. SA is scheduled for beginning of October, so I guess we shall see...!

Purple 232 made me giggle! grin thanks for the laugh! You and I sound like we're in almost exactly the same boat! I'm 36, DH nearly 40. And I'm struggling with how do we know when to move on to the next step? How long do you give it before you say okay, this isn't working, what path should we take? I don't know how DH feels about assisted conception, but I'm a bit loathe to go that route. Think I would prefer to adopt if it came to that, but adoption seems like such an extreme measure - i e to stop trying and come to terms with the fact that I won't have another biological child.

Hi Pip smile

So sorry for those of you who have been trying for so long. I know it's horrible. and I know I'm lucky to have my DS, but it wasn't particularly easy to get him either. Between a mc at 11 weeks and 17 months of BFN (combined) TTC has been completely heartbreaking. I love my DS more than anything, but I would also love to give him a brother or a sister and I get very upset when I realize just how big the gap between them will be.

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