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TTC after recent MC

(1000 Posts)
posypoo Tue 24-Jul-12 11:27:27

Here we go everyone - a place for the recent MCers to chat and share all our NOT waiting stories!

jessiethecowgirl Tue 24-Jul-12 18:09:22

Yay!! Great new thread posy!

I miscarried about 11 days ago (was roughly 6.5 weeks), and stopped bleeding about 4-5 days ago. I feel soooo ready to start again right away! I know that I will have no idea when AF is next due, and when I'll next ovulate, so DH and I are just going to DTD every other day, and who knows, maybe we'll be lucky :-)

People keep telling me how much more fertile you can be after MC, but I don't exactly know what that means!

woody17 Tue 24-Jul-12 19:45:01

Hi - thanks for setting this up posy

I found that I really missed being part of the March thread after the mc.

So I mc last week - when I had the final scan on Wednesday, everything had gone and there was nothing to see on the scan. I stopped bleeding on Friday.

We have already started ttc. I've said in other threads that I was quite relaxed about it all before I had a mc - I felt like it would happen when the time was right...but now I feel desperate to get pg again. I don't want this to affect us when we are dtd - I don't think it has so far though. I also don't want DH to feel like we are only dtd so we can ttc.

We are going to do the same jessie and dtd every other day and see what happens. I did a pg test today and it was positive so I'm not sure if that means that I can't get pg until it goes negative again. I have heard of lots of people (in RL and on here) who have got pg immediately after a mc (a lot seem to conceive 2 weeks later) so I am really hoping that I can be one of those!

Hope you've all had a lovely day and that it has been sunny where you are!

jessiethecowgirl Wed 25-Jul-12 08:42:36

woody I feel the same the way: before I was all chilled out about TTC and now that I've been pregnant and had this mc I want to be pregnancy again so bad... DH and I had a little chat over the weekend about how we can keep DTD but also try to make it romantic so we aren't feeling the pressure about TTC. Especially the next month + when we have no idea when ovulation, etc.
So I went out to Ann Summers and bought a few little numbers for the DH, he will love it :-)
Also interestingly (this may be TMI), I have been very... amorous, the last few days. I don't know if its just the strong desire to be pregnant again, or if it means I'm close to ovulation, but seriously anything is getting me in the mood!

My consultant said it could take up to 2 weeks for the hormones to leave the system after MC and therefore you could still get a +ve for 2 weeks after MC, so Woody I'm sure your test is just picking up the tail end of the hormones.. I did a test yesterday at it was -ve, so it must be all out of my system.

Posy have you decided then to start TTC right away, or will you wait one cycle til AF?

woody17 Wed 25-Jul-12 10:32:22

Yes I am a bit worried that DH ends up feeling like we are only dtd to get pg, when that isn't the case. I'm exactly the same - I feel like I'm having lots of signs that normally would mean that I'm close to ovulation but with the pg test yesterday I don't think this can be the case...

FX that I get the -ve within a couple of weeks! Although some people on here seem to never get the -ve and just move to +ve for a new pg.

It definitely feels like the right thing to ttc straight away though.

posypoo Wed 25-Jul-12 18:27:22

Hello, nice to have company on our little thread! I also missed March when I left Woody. I had got used to checking it for updates.

A friend of mine got +ve for about three weeks after her miscarriage even when she had stopped bleeding. Well done to you both for testing - I am not sure I could bring myself to do it (that said I probably would if I had some in my drawer!)

People keep telling me you're your most fertile ever after a miscarriage. I really hope that's the case as I now also feel desperate to get pregnant again! I have also started to feel like dtd again too... Maybe it's our bodies' way of helping us move on?

I know what you mean about only dtd to get pg. When we conceived this last time it was the most unromantic thing ever! I had a schedule all worked out! I hate it being like that, but can't rely on DH to know when it is necessary to do so smile So we may be more relaxed if we start dtding from now when we have no clue what's going on.

Jessi I also went out and bought some underwear at the weekend to make myself feel better... Though mine was from m&s not Anne Summers! But it is nice to have lots of nice new pants smile

posypoo Wed 25-Jul-12 18:30:07

I have also more or less stopped bleeding today. Such a relief!

Lolcbcb Wed 25-Jul-12 18:50:18

Hi ladies
I am new here and just added my first ever tread!
I too had a mc on Friday. My heart is broken and I am still bleeding.
I took pg test today and it's negative so I am assuming this is good news?
The only thought that cheers me up is the idea of having another go but DH thinks we need to wait 3 months as this is the NhS advice.
Does anyone know how long it can take for
Ov to happen? And is it true about being more fertile????

woody17 Wed 25-Jul-12 18:55:54

I'm glad the bleeding has almost stopped posy I definitely started to feel a lot better from that point. I've been told that you are most fertile - i really hope so! I just don't seem to be able to stop feeling desperate to be pg again.

We were just dtd when we felt like it but when I looked back using the ov calculator on this website, we would have dtd about 3 times during what it reckoned were my most fertile days and I don't think we had in previous cycles.

I ordered some cheap pg tests from amazon this afternoon (they say they are the ones NHS use so hopefully I can trust them?!) and I'm going to do one every other day until it goes -ve. Quite a few people have said that they ovulated around the same time as getting the -ve.

Hope you've all been enjoying the sunshine!

woody17 Wed 25-Jul-12 19:02:32

Sorry lolcbcb our posts crossed.

Really sorry to hear about your mc - it's horrible isn't it? You do grieve for what has been lost. I found that I started to feel more positive when the bleeding stopped - I don't know if this was to do with hormones though. I've found it really helpful chatting to people on here and hope you do too.

At the EPU, we were told that we could start ttc as soon as we felt ready. I think sometimes they advise waiting a month but I think this is more for dating reasons rather than anything else. The handout I got from the mc association says that a study has shown that if you get pg within 6 months of the mc, you are less likely to have a mc.

Apparently, you won't ov until the pg tests are -ve. Some people reckon they ov about 2 weeks after the mc. A few used the first day of bleeding as 1st day of af and worked out dates from that. It seems impossible to predict - the 1st cycle after mc gets called the WTF cycle because it's so unpredictable.

We are ttc again already, even though I don't even know if I can be ov cause I'm still getting +ve tests.

I've also heard about being more fertile - I don't know if this is true or not but I really hope so. I don't know about you but I just feel absolutely desperate to be pg again.

jessiethecowgirl Thu 26-Jul-12 09:27:08

Sorry lolcbcb to hear about the mc. It really does suck doesn't it. It does get better though. Like woody says, as soon as I stopped the heavy bleeding a felt a million times better. I suppose it was the hormones balancing out. And yes, I think a negative test is a good sign

About the whole "waiting" thing (and lolcbcb I've also heard other people say they have been advised 3 months, and I think this is outdated advice) I have been doing a lot of thinking about this:

-My consultant told me to wait one month (til AF) and then to start TTC, and this is for dating purposes.
-I have also been told it is advisable to wait to allow yourself time to grieve, which obviously on an emotional level, you have to allow yourself time to be "ready".

So after doing a bit more browsing on here, I have come to the conclusion that there really isn't any medical/physical reason why anyone would need to wait 1,2, or 3 months to TTC. I think our bodies are so smart, that it realised the pregnancy wasn't viable, and it expelled it in the appropriate way, and has now readied us for future conceptions. Waiting for the next AF seems so... backwards... because if we get an AF that means that roughly 14 days before that we ovulated. So why can't we try to get pregnant during those fertile days?
"Back in the day", when people miscarried early, they just put it down to a late period, then got pregnant again the next cycle. There was likely no "waiting" for a few cycles to pass before TTC again...

Anyways, just my opinion, that I think if you're emotionally ready that there is no reason to wait. DH and I are just enjoying DTD at the moment, and it would be so lovely if we fell pregnant again right away (we've conceived 1st month of TTC both times now, so we're on a roll!)

fx for us all!

jessiethecowgirl Thu 26-Jul-12 09:29:48

Also posy glad the bleeding has almost stopped, it was such a big relief for me when it did (although I did spot on and off for another 4-5 days when it did)

woody I also ordered a 15 pack of cheap HPTs from Amazon! I figured when its been 5+ weeks after mc and I haven't yet got AF that I'm going to go on a poas frenzy haha I do get like that!

woody17 Thu 26-Jul-12 11:10:42

jessie I totally agree with what you said about waiting - we are the same - not going to wait and enjoy dtd and seeing what happens. Surely, we will have a rough idea of when we got pg and when we definitely wouldn't have been pg! I would be so happy if I got pg again before af arrives. Have you had a -ve pg test yet? I am hoping to get a -ve by the end of the weekend and then hopefully ov will happen soon after.

The cheap tests mean I'll be able to test each day until I get the -ve and then I'll probably wait 2 weeks and then start testing again! I just can't wait to even have the potential to get pg again.

jessiethecowgirl Thu 26-Jul-12 13:50:07

Hi woody Yes I had a -ve pg test a few days ago, so I know everything is back on track! i'm sure yours will come very quickly.
As said earlier I have been super horny 'amorous' this week so I have been wondering if that means I'm ovulating hmm or just so desperate to be pregnant again who knows. I'm trying to not read too much into any symptoms that may crop up in the next few weeks because I know this is going to be a wonky cycle. The only symptom I'll really keep an eye open for is AF!

Lolcbcb Thu 26-Jul-12 15:58:40

Hi girls
Thanks so much for the replies. I too feel ready to start again and am just waiting for bleeding to stop. Guess the -ve result yesterday is a plus and a sign to start again. Not in the mood for sex tbh but will have to find a way lol. Think it will help make this whole thing a bit less painful.
I wish I could spot ov though.
Do any of you use opk? If so which one? I've read here they don't always work!?
Before mc I could always spot ov just by cm and I am hoping it will be the as same again.
Love the WTF cycle!! This whole experience can be described as WTF though. Time for a good one don't you think? "WTF I'm pg again!??? "

jessiethecowgirl Thu 26-Jul-12 16:59:50

I've never used opk, but I know some women who have and have had success, but they are pricey I know...

fx crossed lolcbcb that bleeding stops soon and you may be surprised by a swing in hormones and perhaps soon you'll be more in the mood for DTD grin

woody17 Thu 26-Jul-12 20:48:26

lolcbcb I also think that when the bleeding stops you may be surprised by the change in hormones.

I am hoping for a -ve test by the end of the weekend and then hopefully I'll ov soon after. Would love to get a bfp in August! Supposedly you are supposed to be more fertile after a mc...

I've never used opk - I think I will wait a few more months and if I haven't got pg again then I might consider using them.

Hope you are all feeling ok. I'm so glad that it's almost the weekend.

Smellyanne Thu 26-Jul-12 22:50:44

Hi ladies!
Sorry to hear about your MC LOLCBCB,its crap isnt it :-(
Just back form a lovely couple of days away,did me the world of good and feeling really positive about trying again!
Its good to read what the MC association say about being less likely to miscarry if you conceive within 6 months Woody.I think the only thing putting us off is the chance of it happening again next time .
Ive also bought a job lot of preg tests and OPK tests too lol,I used some OPK tests last time and they worked fine but not the same brand Ive got now,these are just the cheapies .Ive almost stopped bleeding now but still getting v faint +ive line . V exciting to think we could all be ovulating soon! Everything crossed for us all!

jessiethecowgirl Fri 27-Jul-12 15:17:46

Small update from me ignoring previous post about not symptom spotting : I think I ov'd today. I had what felt like very familiar ovulation cramps, and when I went to the loo saw a definite increase in CM. This would explain why the last 5 days I've been well in the mood! DTD 3 nights ago and again this morning so if I did indeed ovulate then fx something will happen!
Just reviewed my calendar, and its 2 weeks to the day since MC, about a week since I stopped bleeding, and about 5 days since -ve HPT, so it could very well be ovulation. Will continue to DTD every 2-3 days though just in case.

posypoo Sun 29-Jul-12 18:26:10

Hello everyone. I have also been away for the weekend smellyanne - glad you had such a nice time. Has everyone had a nice weekend?

Hello lolcbcb so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I miscarried on the Thursday before you did, a complete miscarriage, and bled since then until yesterday. Hope you're OK. It's gutting isn't it?

Today I feel great as I decided I deserved to treat myself to a swim and brunch with a friend. It was so lovely to gossip all morning and drink nice coffee without feeling guilty! As I have now finally stopped bleeding I have decided we are going to start dtd from later on (if I can get DD to bed before I pass out with my book!) I now see no reason to wait now.

I am feeling very cheered by Jessi's stories of possibly ovulating! 2 weeks after my mc is this Thursday so I am going to start getting DH in the mood again smile

I have also never used OPKs. Both times I conceived I did a version of the SMEP without OPKs. It basically amounted to having sex every other day - not very scientific!

joberg Sun 29-Jul-12 18:51:16

Is it the same for d&cs as for natural miscarriages?

With my last natural miscarriage I conceived 6 weeks later, and I had a d&c on 13th July, so still waiting for AF. (I have had two natural and 2D&cS).

TBH, I don't want to DTD or be PG. I just want to skip straight to the point where I am handed my new baby... But I can't have one without the other....

posypoo Sun 29-Jul-12 19:43:50

joberg I sometimes also feel like I would like to be handed a new baby, or maybe a one year-old... So sorry to hear about your miscarriages. x

PipsWife Sun 29-Jul-12 19:44:18

I have been lurking on here, please can I join you all?
I MC'd just over a month ago. I am ttc DC2. DD1 is 14 months old.
It was a very sad time and it is hard to know if I am 'ok' and ready to ttc again. (do you ever get over it?)
Anyway if I ever to get to see my husband to DTD as he is in the Army and has been called up for the Olympics (a whole other thread lol) anyway AF has just finished - first one after MC so I am going to go with that as a cycle and just DTD when we can!!

Fx for a lucky thread. X

posypoo Sun 29-Jul-12 19:46:56

PS I am not completely sure about d&cs - but in my hospital leaflet (which seems to cover all types of early miscarriage) it makes no distinction. It just says one month is good to allow yourself to recover but that there was no medical reason to wait.

posypoo Sun 29-Jul-12 19:49:59

Hello Pipswife. Welcome! So sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

Wow, having an army husband must make ttc a challenge! How exciting though that it's your first proper cycle. My fingers are crossed for you!

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