Day 1 of officially TTC (after 11 years of unofficialdom)

[Geeklette]

Just wanted to introduce myself, and get advice from those who have already taken their first 'official' TTC steps.

I've been with my partner for 11 years, and haven't used any form of contraceptive in all the time we have been together. For the first six years or so, we were like the proverbial bunnies. Whilst we weren't actively planning for a baby, we were always hoping that Mother Nature might look our way. And just in case she was really busy, we gave her lots to look at !!

Then, my partner was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. The downhill slide was incredibly quick. Two years later, our horizontal miles were miles apart, even with the help of the little blue pill. It's now been two years since 'sleeping together' meant anything other than just that.

New year, new us. We moved from a first floor two bed flat to a fabulous three bed semi and now feel like we can take on the world. So today was 'doctor' day. He was lovely, asked lots of questions, typed up loads of notes. I'm now booked in for blood tests on 4th Apr (day 21 is apparently important?) and a physical exam. As I went alone today, my DP is booked in to see him on 3rd Apr.

I should be feeling really positive, but instead I feel sick, scared, hellishly weepy. It's like, by seeing the doctor, I have somehow raised its importance in my life whereas before I could brush it off that we 'hadn't really been trying anyway'.

Please tell me I'm normal :)

How did everyone else feel when they made the move to officialdom?

[wrigle]

I haven't had anything like the pre ttc history you have, but I know what you mean about that switch from it being ok if it happens to actively wanting it. I felt like I was outing myself to the world, showing my secret vulnerable spot! Good luck to you guys.

[zimmer]

Sounds perfectly normal to me :)

I'm new to these boards too - have been lurking and reading for a while, but your post made me want to sign up to introduce myself too.

I've been with my partner for almost 20 years, and I'm now 42. We stopped using contraception a few years ago, and kind of vaguely relied on the rhythm method to avoid pregnancy. We were always fairly indifferent about the idea of having children - we did talk about it periodically - but it was never something that either of us felt strongly about. But this sudden powerful urge to have a baby has been slowly creeping up on me over the past few months, so this month, we started actively ttc.

I realise we've left it quite late - and it's this that I'm finding a little upsetting at the moment - I'm mentally kicking myself for being so tardy - and suddenly babies are everywhere! On the telly, on the bus, in the street...

I found myself in a chemist yesterday looking at all the pregnancy tests and wondering whether to buy a couple just so I've got them tucked away and ready to use - telling myself that I'm bound to suddenly want one on a sunday evening so might as well stock up now - but so far have decided not buy any unless I feel I actually need to do a test - as I really don't want to make myself anxious and stressed about it.

I'm just really scared to allow myself to really want this!

[Geeklette]

Wow guys, thank you so much.

Wrigle, yes, that's exactly how I feel - outing myself - although so far the only people who know are me, my DP and the doctor. We can't bring ourselves to even tell our family until we have some positive news. It's more of an internal shift, and confirming between ourselves that this is what we want.

Zimmer I'm 35 and there's a lot of self-kicking going on here too. But it's ok, we can be scared together :) I think it's far better to allow ourselves to want this, and to take the ups and downs that that brings, than to spend the rest of our lives scared to take the plunge and regretting it every day.

Each day brings a new lesson. Today's lesson for me, learned mid-post, is Do Not Take Multi Vit And Folic Acid Tablets On An Empty Stomach - It Makes You Sick!

[wrigle]

Zimmer and geeklette, I found out last summer that I wanted a family, I turn 40 this year. After thinking about it for a few months I asked my partner and he agreed and we started trying in December. Have been kicking myself loads and trying to soothe my worry with the thought that I've always been a late bloomer,I feel quite young, and people always think I'm younger than I am - I'm sure this is because I'm childish rather than gorgeous - but I'm hoping it means I have young eggs and a massive supply of them (I've already had one MC since trying so I'm also looking on the positive side and reassuring myself that it proves I have eggs - just maybe not very good ones)!

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

You are completely normal. I found actually taking my head out of the sand and getting myself and DP to the docs incredibly sad and I too was weepy. I felt as though we were actually acknowledging our failure to conceive and asking for help officially. This was after 2 years actively TTC and several years of seeing what happened. It's hard.

Best of luck xxx

[Geeklette]

Thanks again guys , this has really helped and I'm feeling a lot more positive now. Had bloods taken this morning (five tubes - they're apparently testing for everything!) and DP has also seen the doctor so will undergo sperm analysis hopefully next week if we can get things arranged. Fingers crossed AF will be on her way out by the time the test results are due, and we can look forward to our first official TTC cycle

[Dexidoo]

Good luck with your checks

Since we made the decision to go for it after years of not being sure I can't help thinking what it's done to our chances but worrying about it isn't going to change it

My wellwoman vit makes me feel spewy too, even after food

[skyper]

its normal to feel like a bit of a wreck! we have similar historys, no contraception for over ten years then officialdom last year, when we got married(cos then we were offical too!! lol) :)
there will probably be plenty more tears to come...hopefully for us all at some point they will be tears of joy :) and every second will have been worth it!!

xxxx