2 miscarriages and now can't get pregnant - what to do next?

[RubyD]

Morning all - early start here as woke up early to do a hpt for this month but another negative :(. I have hit a wall now and don't know what to do next.

Short history - I got pregnant late 2010 on the first half-hearted try which ended in mc at 16 weeks. Got pregnant straight away (again only had sex once mid cycle!) which ended in mc at 12 weeks.

We had tests done privately which showed up elevated NK cells and since then I've been taking Prednisolone from just before ovulation and more recently have been taking progesterone pessaries (lovely) from a few days after ovulation. I've bought the Clearblue ovulation indicator thingy and we've been trying every day for the whole week around ovulation but nothing is happening.

It's 7 months now and I know this isn't long normally but it is absolutely killing me. I have fertility acupuncture every 2 weeks, do yoga, have stopped drinking and eat really healthily so just don't know what to do next. My husband has stopped smoking and cut the booze way down (of course we were big party animals when we conceived the first 2 times!).

Worst thing is my husband hates having to 'perform' on demand so this is beginning to cause arguments mid month. Of course, everyone around me is pregnant now and I don't want to turn into a horrible bitter women who begrudges hearing other people's happy pregnancy news.

I understand an IVig transfusion might help but we can't really afford to go this privately now and I honestly just don't know what to do next. I also know I'm not supposed to stress but feel my body is working against me. Can anyone advise or have any positive stories to help?

Thanks so much xx

[helenlouisey]

Hi RubyD, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages, they must have been heart breaking, especially so far along. Just a quick question and thought, did you miscarry naturally both times of did you need to have a D&C? And have your periods returned to normal length and flow since the miscarriages? Only reason I ask is that if they haven't and you did need a medical managements of the miscarriages it might be worth getting checked for Ashermans Syndome. X

[RubyD]

Hi there and thank you so much for replying. I had to deliver the first baby but the second one I did have a D&C. My periods seem normal and bizarrely actually more regular length-wise since having acupuncture. I have heard of Ashermans and was really hoping not to have to go there as not sure if there is a cure for it. I haven't really looked into it though but am going to see my GP now on Wednesday and will ask to checked for this too. Thanks again x

[treadwarily]

Ruby that's so sad, I'm so sorry for what you have been through and the agony you're living now.
Just to let you know that hypnotherapy worked for me and also a friend - similar histories to you. xx

[teaandchocolate]

Hi Ruby. Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about your miscarriages, they must have been horrific. I know a little bit of what you are going through as I had a mmc at 12 weeks (& a d&c) and then struggled to conceive for about 7 months afterwards. My problems in conceiving were due to not having a period which I think was a combination of pcos & stress so different to what you are going through. I went on to have my DD who's now 18 mths so for me there was a very positive outcome. But I rememer that awful time so clearly & I know how frustrated & sad you must be feeling.

I don't have a huge amount of advice I'm afrose as I think everyone is different & unfortunately fertility issues seem to be a lot about trial & error & luck! But I would say to keep pushing for answers & tests from doctors & try not to get fobbed off. I ended up going privately as found the nhs so frustrating & unsympathetic but as it turned out I didn't really need treatment just some hand holding really. Message me if you want details of where i went. You need to find a gp or consultant who listens to you & takes you seriously but I know how hard that can be. You can also combine nhs & private if you need to. Oh & I also had accupuncture & found it very helpful. Good luck, I hope you get some answers soon & please let us know how you get on.

[pippilongsmurfing]

Hi ruby, I'm sorry to hear about your mc's. I'm TTC#1, and have been pregnant multiple times, but they have all ended in MC, and now I can't even get preganant at all, so have been put on Clomid.

If you don't mind me asking, what are elevated NK cells?

I know what you mean about your DH and can really empathise, mine is always moaning about having to perform "on demand", and that I only want sex for a baby, (which isn't the case, I am desperate for a BFP, but also like to have an active sex life!).

Can you find a sympathetic GP to refer you to the fertility unit at your local hospital? That's what I did, and once the ball was rolling things have moved pretty quickly for us, although still chasing that BFP that sticks with me.

I have found too that charting my cycles, and using this conception board to blow off steam and ask questions, rather than talking to DH constantly about TTC (which was driving him mad), has really helped as an outlet.

Good Luck!

[RubyD]

Thanks everyone. It's great to have your advice. I realise I should probably try and relax but it is so hard to do and incredibly boring for everyone else to listen to, let alone my poor husband. I am going to push to be referred to the local fertility clinic as we can't spend any more privately. We've had the main tests done privately but IVIg is apparently thousands so will see if the NHS can help. Bloody body. xx

@Pippilongsmurfing - NK cells are the wonderfully named 'natural killer' cells which they test for now and which some doctors believe may cause miscarriages or prevent implantation as they see the embryo as a foreign body. Apparently a level of over around 0.8 is a positive test for NK cells. It's fairly new idea and not everyone is agreed but they usually prescribe steroids to lower your immune system and reduce the NK cells or a IVig transfusion of 'good' blood. That's what I've picked up anyway but I you should ask your doctor for more info.

[lisacn]

RubyD We are in a similar situation, I have had 2 miscarriages and also have high NK Cells, I find that the steroids have totally messed up my cycles, we had a break this month in the hope that would regulated my cycles so just waiting for AF to start, I'm also having acupuncture. I see Mr Shehatas team at St Helier Hospital,

I can understand your frustration, my DH was like that about sex but we have now managed to get into a nice routine. All I want is my take home baby but it feels a million miles away right now.

[eurochick]

Hi Rudy. Sorry about your mcs. There are around 25-30 of us on the Prednisolone thread undergoing similar treatment, some getting pg easily, some not. Most have had multiple miscarriages. I am in the minority that has not, but just cannot get pg at all. We have all been diagnosed with high or v high NK cells, or are undergoing testing.

SWI after a long day at work when neither of you is in the mood can feel like a chore. I don't tell my OH exactly when the optimum days are just when it is "sh@g week", which I think takes the pressure of a bit whilst letting him know that we need to get down to it on weeknights (we are weekend folk by choice!).

[EightiesChick]

Have you been checked for any blood clotting issues? These can cause repeated mcs. I know it is often checked for as part of infertiliity investigations but it is worth being 100% sure you can rule this out. If you have an inherited clotting problem then the right anticoagulants during pregnancy (and possibly while TTC) can be very effective.

[RubyD]

Thanks again everyone. I'll have a look on the Prednisoline thread and have decided not to tell my husband now when it's our best days as it definitely puts him off. Seeing a new consultant next week on the NHS now so will see if they'll test for everything again. I have a long list now! I'm thinking of trying to take a break from 'trying' though easier said than done as it just seemed to happen when we weren't thinking about it - though not sure how I'll manage that! Best of luck to all of you and thank you so much again for taking the time to respond. It is good to know that there are positive outcomes out there xx