any mums nearing 45 thinking of prgncy again?

[toomuchsand]

i have 2 dc and would really like another- I had the 2 late, and one over 40 anyway, didn't meet dh til late. Are there any mums out there who have a baby or had one this late? how did you feel and would you do it again? I have had 2 cs already and would need another (massive babies...)

[Hope88]

If you feel up for it ,go for it. Good luck!

[MoJangles]

had DS at 42, currently on 2WW for no2 at 44. Needed massive medical arsenal to even try though, and it sounds like your body is more co-operative than mine. Go for it, you're as young as you choose to be.

[Southsearocks]

I read an article about Arlene Phillips earlier today. She had her second baby at 47 and she was very positive about it. And she looks amazing to boot! Why not, I say (tcc dc2 at 41 so not far behind you)

[Hope88]

Bump

[desperateoldie67]

Given that I'm trying to conceive DC1 at 44, I say go for it!

[beangrower]

Why not try but don't let it take over your life?

I've been trying for DC2 for a year (DC1 nearly 2 - came 2nd cycle of TTC when I was well past 37...) and I've just turned 40. But I would say that TTC has focked my life/head up quite badly this time round and if I had 2 children already I would have definitely thrown in my towel and counted my blessings. Which I may have to do anyway.

Good luck either way.

Mojangles - massive medical arsenal is intriguing... are you going down the assisted route, if it's ok to ask?

[toomuchsand]

thanks for being positive!
desperate oldie, do you have lo already (nosey) its not taking over my life just yet, apart from not wanting to go to the gym and just sit down- just in case:)

[Cairncake]

Hi all. I have just turned 44 and have been trying to conceive baby number two for 2 years now. DS is now 4, very quick (unexpected), easy pregnancy, expected this one to be easy too but I am putting failure to conceive down to my age. It is making me intensely sad, but I am not obsessive. IVF not an option. Solidarity sister to all 40+ women TTC. I think Cherie Blair was 45 when she had the last one.

[desperateoldie67]

Nope toomuchsand, I'm trying for my first lo. It took simply ages for the love of my life to turn up, and the rest were idiots! Trouble is, now that I'm 44, it's MUCH harder to get knocked up. I'm trying my hardest though and haven't given up hope yet :)

[beangrower]

Hi Cairncake

You sound a tad like me - DS just about to turn 2 (and I've just turned 40) but like you I had a v quick conception and great pregnancy with DS (me aged 37.7, DP aged 40, now feels like I was a spring chicken back then). Also feel like you - so sad that it hasn't 'just happened' again but I have to keep thinking there's time and a chance. I'm afraid I can't say I'm not obsessive but I'm impressed that you can. I'm acupuncturing, herbing, eating like it might get me into heaven and Dr Google is sick of the sight of me. DP also weary, esp' as I have convinced him to kick the booze in the head for a while.

Desperate - took me ages to find Mr Right too (kissed enough frogs to fill more than a few garden ponds). Turned out Mr Right was a man I went to school with and we'd been friends for 20 years.... Doh. Of course, I realise that I'm very lucky to have my LO given circumstances. I sincerely hope that you get there and keep on giving it your best shot.

IVF sounds way too tough on the body as well as the purse... but I understand now how people go there.

[toomuchsand]

desperate oldie, yes, i had a few lucky escapes:) I could have been really unhappy. lucky to have met dh when i did.
am thinking of buying that temperature thing which tells you when you should ttc in the month,as its worked with a friend who really struggled to conceive, but dh (predictably) just wants to ttc every night and morning for a month. i had a urine infection sorry tmi:) which put me right off.

beangrower and cairncake, and all, do people know you are trying? i haven't said anything to anyone. well., aprt from you and any one on mn!

[Cairncake]

Hi Beangrower, Toomuchsand et al. Yes, life does get in the way and the body clock does get a bit late but it had to be right. I have not really discussed it with anyone, hubby really does not want another one but has agreed, so I keep it to myself. I tried ovulation kits, and got positives at the expected times, and acted accordingly if you get my drift, but nada. I used to cry when my period started, but I am becoming resigned to it now. Not giving up though.

[madam1mim]

hiya, i think if u feel you are up to it then why not! my mum had my lil bro when she was 47 (there are 6 of us!) she carried to term, no probs. She did have to go for extra scans and stuff though because they like to keep an eye on u. good luck! x

[wrighty2010]

Hi, its all about how you feel, Go for it I say! Godd luck xx

[beangrower]

Hi - I'm afraid I have been rather incontinent about telling people. I'm hoping to rein that one right in though. I've begun to look for new projects to distract me. I'm also hoping that the spring/summer makes life a bit more fun. This has felt like a long winter! Cairncake - my DP is the same. Not really interested in DC2, makes it hard to motivate him in various ways. Can feel quite lonely this TTC biz so always good to talk on here. No, don't give up just try to manage the hope

I don't think hitting 40 would have had nearly as much impact if I'd done having my family. It's a bit of a bugger in that respect. But need to feel inspired by lots of women who are having 2 or more after 40 (and yes I have met at least 2 women who have done this).

toomuchsand - your hubby is right though. It's good to have regular sex (good for his spermies and you don't miss ov). Gadgets galore for us TTCers - cost too much money and don't always work. But sorry to hear about UTI - painful. Try peesticks for ov first?

Good luck all... n'night.

[Cairncake]

I agree, it is nice to share these things with others who empathise. I think people are not sympathetic to women over 40 trying to conceive, I kind of "what do you expect" attitude. If I had more than one lo then I would have called it a day, but my family feels incomplete and I feel sad for my DS not having a sibling. He is fantastic, and sometimes I am just grateful that I have him and should be content, but I really do want another one. Surely before contraception, babies after 40 were common, non? Or did they all stop having sex when they hit 40! I find this thread very encouraging, good luck and productive bonking to you all.

[beangrower]

Hi Cairn - you are SO right - people do have that attitude. But I have some lovely RL friends who say they know plenty of women who have had babies in their 40s. As you say - in the bad old days it was common enough but they would have been 5th, 6th, 7th babies.

I think we face lifestyle factors that weren't around as much. We are not as healthy in general and surrounded by a lot of plastics etc. My DP was drinking every night to relax after work. He has stopped, under a lot of pressure and is q miserable so I feel rotten but I think it will make a difference. (I don't drink.)

My family feels incomplete too. I feel so up for two and another chance to give loads of love. But my LO may be feeling the tension as he has become quite clingy of late, so need to keep an eye on that.

Anyway - I do feel hopeful for us all and we should keep each other updated.

Get SWIing.

xxxx

[MoJangled]

beangrower fine to ask, yes, 6 cycles of IVF, 3 with own eggs failed - eggs too scrambled - and 3 with doner eggs, gave us one miracle perfect baby and we are hoping so much for another. This is our last cycle though, no emotional and financial resources to do it again! So if it fails, DS wil be an only child and I will have to be very good at baking cakes to fill the house with little friends.

Usual story for us - met and married when I was 38, just too late for my eggs. But I dont feel old and I would love to be a mum to another baby. Although there is a sneaking suspicion that people might laugh at me! DH and I have agreed that being older parents is just the best possible reason to stay fit and healthy so we can kick a ball around with DH when he's 15 and have fun doing it.

Happy shagging girls

[beangrower]

Mo - I really hope that this one's a winner for you. It must be so hard waiting. I'm sure your DS will have a lovely life with or without a sibling btw.

I don't feel old either - younger and healthier than I was in my early 30s and boozing too much - though I remember b-fing every half hour nights being a killer and we're way past that now.

We have promised each other that we couldn't face IVF for the reasons that you've mentioned, but boy I wish sometimes that we could go for it.

It's all a bit of a lottery isn't it? I was flabbergasted when I got pg the second month that DP and I had lived together (he had to move from abroad for us to be together too so it couldn't have happened before really) and to give birth naturally at 38. I thought no' 2 might be as easy and was trying hard at 39 for a BFP. Now I'm 40 I'm wondering if it's time to move on but as I'm ovulating normally and have had scans that show a good-ish egg count it niggles me that there is still a good chance and I just have to be patient.

Sometimes it's the indecision that kills me more than anything.

Let us know what happens - and I really hope you get a positive result.

[pookiecat]

There is hope , I had my dd at 42, conceived naturally . Had been trying for about 3 years , investigations , all normal, gave up trying and was in total shock when the test was positive ! Good luck to you all.

[Cairncake]

Mojangled all the best, fingers crossed. Yes, it is tough not knowing why it is not happening, Beangrower. I expected fertility to gradually decline, but it seems to have just gone as if someone flicked a switch. I am well and fit, and there are no 'symptoms' that anything is wrong. Must be just not producing viable eggs. Hard to know when to call it a day.

[randomimposter]

Yikes hadn't been on MN for ages, but DS sick (and asleep) so twiddling thumbs avoiding housework.

I had DS at 40, unplanned and unexpected but HUGELY welcome. Easy pregnancy. Started TTC#2 when he was 1 in June 2009. Had 3 MMCs all around the 12 week mark over the next 15 months, each time getting pregnant very quickly. Had all the tests, nowt wrong.

So started trying again Dec 2010, and have had one maybe two Chemical pregnancies since then. Will turn 44 next month. Suspect it's all too late now, and have said to myself give it to June (which will be 3 years TTC and my last chance to give birth before I'm 45... :()

Got totally cheesed off with TTC and yabbering about it on MN and took a break late last summer. Have been still TTC but trying to be more resigned to having an only child.

Having said that am at the end of 2ww and as always wondering if and maybe...

I often parrot about Cherie Blair having Leo at 45, and there ARE lots of examples of women at this age having successful pregnancies. But realistically the odds are not usually in our favour.

Hope everyone gets the happy ending they want - another baby or a resigned peace that it's not going to be.

[thefatladyscreams]

Hello ladies - sorry to leap on your thread but just had to give a massive wave to Jollster! Reading this thread with interest as had DS at nearly 42 (swear by accupuncture) and very occasionally toy with idea of trying for DC2. You guys are inspirational - good luck to you all. The odds might not be brilliant but I'd jump at buying a lottery ticket with those odds!

[randomimposter]

Hey TFLS how's that gorgeous boy of yours?

[JumpyGill]

Mum's race at 50 - I don't think so.