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mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

(1000 Posts)
CaipirinhasAllRound Fri 13-Jan-12 18:51:14

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

Caip Wed 24-Jul-13 14:29:18

Sending lots of love to you both!

Lesley - I've just booked my cat to see the vet as he's such a thug at times. He had a proper go at me last night, I look like I self harm with all the scratches down my arm. Have googled and they say there could be issues although I suspect we just annoy him. Little sod

Have you been to oz before notnow? I have a friend who just moved back there from London and so I'd like to go over sometime. We went about 5 years ago over NYE and had a great time.

I only have 3 weeks left in my job! I've well and truly wound down and have no idea how I'll fill the next 3 wks!


notnowImreading Wed 24-Jul-13 18:15:09

Good for you! I'm all in favour of short term running away - have a great time in Melbourne. If you bump into Dr Kennedy off Neighbours (I'm told you can't spit in Melbourne without hitting him) tell him I still would. (Really must wean myself off old men.) Your kitten sounds lovely. When my cat was a kitten he had diarrhoea for almost a year. He turned out alright in the end though.

notnowImreading Wed 24-Jul-13 18:18:51

Long lunches are the way to go, Caip. Hide important files then spend a long time looking for them. Clean the tops of cupboards. Set booby traps for people you don't like, especially ones that will lie hidden for ages until you're long gone. Write nice notes to people and hide them around the place. Mostly long lunches though - call them 'debriefs' and get work to pay for them...

notnowImreading Wed 24-Jul-13 18:20:37

This thread is going to run out soon - someone pm me if you start another one before I get back and let me know what it's called? Hope you Englishers are enjoying the sunshine still.

Caip Sun 28-Jul-13 07:45:56

How are your appointment with the consultant bear? Hope it was useful. What are the next steps for you?

lesley how are you and your husband doing?

I hope you're doing fantastically missbrightside if you're still reading this

When are you off notnow? You must be really looking forward to a break from normality, I hope you have a fab time!

I go in for embryo transfer next Friday. Assuming at least one defrosts ok i'll be testing the weekend before I start my new job!

Hi to anyone else reading

LesleyKnope Sun 28-Jul-13 14:52:14

How do we start a new thread?
caip why are you doing frozen embryo? How did this cycle go? Hope you're doing well.
bear how was your appt? Hope it was worth the wait?
notnow what are your plans for your trip to Oz?
Not great here - bizarrely we're getting on really well but he thinks a trial seperation might be good - give him space to miss me. notnow I feel like I might be living your life!! I din't know - v hurt & scared but think I need to start focussing on me, keeping myself happy and sane but not thinking too far ahead.

natz26 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:46:03

Sorry am new to this site just wondered how everyone is coping. We have been trying for nearly 2 yes now and other 1/2 has got his head in the sand and refuses to do a thing :-(

Caip Sun 28-Jul-13 19:55:29

Lesley - doing a frozen cycle with spare blasts we froze in Feb. It's much easier, just tablets to thicken my lining and oestrogen from today then transfer next week. Sorry to hear your husband's suggested a trial desperation, how do you feel about it?

Hi natz - sorry you're here. Have you been to the doctors yet?

natz26 Sun 28-Jul-13 20:26:18

yeah I got checked last yr at my other 1/2 instance and everything was ok. he on the other hand keeps putting it off and coming up with excuses. I really don't think he's bothered anymore as he has a daughter from a previous relationship. I guess st 36 the docs are not going to do much unless we both get checked out.

notnowImreading Sun 28-Jul-13 21:25:56

Oh, Lesley - that's exactly what my husband said to me. Don't play along with it - fight for your marriage from home. The first bit of separation is actually really quite nice in a bizarre sort of way and he might like it. You're right about taking time for yourself; you must desperately need to recharge your batteries and stores of energy.

Good luck with the blasts, Caip. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I've just booked my flights to Oz - getting excited about it. Have been drinking wine while doing it and just drunk-called my husband. Luckily, he was out; don't need to weep pathetically today. I've been up to visit his parents to say goodbye and his mum just sobbed. So sad for all of them and still pretty sorry for myself. I went to my friend's daughter's christening this pm and was godmother. It is bloody not the same as being a mother. More wine, I think!

LesleyKnope Mon 29-Jul-13 05:25:11

But how can you fight it notnow? I think asking him to stay against his will might be worse for us and me. Right now i feel so rejected I just want him out!

notnowImreading Mon 29-Jul-13 16:00:19

Well, I know exactly how that feels - at the same point I went off to my mum's to lick my wounds and I really sympathise. I definitely don't have any right answers for you. It's just so weird to read the very same things being said in your life on the other side of the world that have been said so recently in mine. Have you got good friends to support you? I'll be over in Sydney from the 9th so if you fancy meeting up for a comiseration very large drink, I'd be up for that. X

LesleyKnope Mon 29-Jul-13 17:08:19

I'm feeling so overwhelmed. Is it hopeless? Is divorce inevitable? I have got a few friends here but far from ideal - I'm due to visit the UK in mid- sept but that feels a lifetime away. Popping to Sydney is def tempting! Xx

notnowImreading Mon 29-Jul-13 22:25:27

Nothing's inevitable but that doesn't mean it's not really hard while you're going through it. Maybe try to keep lines of communication open, but take care of yourself above all things. If you're anything like me, you won't know what that means or how to do it - just let anyone who wants to be kind to you do it. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. It's so hurtful and feels so much more than you should have to cope with. Xx

Bearfacedchic Tue 30-Jul-13 00:36:47

Oh I'm so sad for you both Notnow and Lesley. Been thinking of you and hoping you're both alright. You should meet for a drink if you can - I think you'd be able to help each other.

I'm glad you're both managing to get away though. It will give you head space which should help.

I've been to Sydney in August and it was warm in the day. Think a sunny day in the UK. I needed a cardy but only a coat at night as Lesley said. There's a lovely walk along the coast at Bondi and Manly is supposed to be great too, although we never made it there. There's a great tapas place called Bodega, which is worth going to. It's very lively and near the inner city but I can't remember where exactly. Maybe try Trip Advisor for that one. Hope you have an amazing time!

Caip- sending you all the luck I can muster for the transfer. Let us know how it goes.

Appointment left us none the wiser really but we are at least in the system. Got lots of tests to go through now, so off we go again. Thanks to those who asked. Hopefully we now have the ball rolling!

notnowImreading Thu 08-Aug-13 07:20:17

I'm off to Australia today <hums Waltzing Matilda> smile
Good luck for testing, Caip - fingers crossed for you.
Thanks for the cheering section, Bearface - really hope that either the system wakes up and helps you out properly soon or (better) you just get knocked up randomly from a drunken shag like a teenager.
Lesley, will be landing in Sydney on Friday evening. I'll be around for 3 weeks (staying in Manly), although will be going up to Port Douglas for a couple of days of sunshine at some point. Give me a shout if you fancy meeting up for a drink. That's assuming you are anywhere near Sydney - wont work if you are in Perth or somewhere far. My picture of Oz is Sydney Opera House/Neighbours/Crocodile Dundee so don't really have a concept of people living anywhere else!
Brightside, if you're still reading, hope you are fat and happy!
Good luck everyone - take care. X

Caip Thu 08-Aug-13 07:30:34

Have an amazing time notnow! Hope you cone back refreshed, happy and raring to go! (Think Lesley is in Perth)
I test on Tuesday. Feeling fine about a result either way at the moment as I start my new job the following week so can get my teeth into that. Also really want to get fit and set myself a challenge so will do that if it's a no.

How are you doing Lesley?
And bear?
And missbrightside?

Have a safe trip trip notnow xxx

Bearfacedchic Thu 08-Aug-13 17:34:26

Good luck Caip. I have everything crossed for you. thanks

Have fun Notnow - Without sounding too hippyish, I hope the trip brings you rest and some peace. And of course wonderful experiences. Enjoy, lovely. You deserve it.

I'm alright, Caip - got a HSG coming up. Not much else to report really.

Caip Mon 12-Aug-13 21:35:19

How are you lesley? I hope you're ok xx

LesleyKnope Tue 13-Aug-13 15:18:41

caip best of luck for today!
notnow hope you had a safe flight - unfortunately I'm on the west coast sad but popping to Melbourne at end of the month if you happen to be in the area?
Nothing to report here - just taking things day at a time - seeing a counsellor together on Friday after nearly 2 weeks apart.
Hi to everyone else - hope you're all well x

Caip Tue 13-Aug-13 15:37:54

Good luck for Friday lesley

I can't believe it but I got a bfp! Am very wary after it disappeared last time but this line is a definite not just a squint and you can see it


notnowImreading Wed 14-Aug-13 00:01:55

Congratulations! I know you have to be a bit tentative but that's great news smile

Good luck with the counselling Lesley - great that you are going together.

I'm off to Port Douglas tomorrow to see the fishes on the Great Barrier Reef, then back to Sydney next week, then up into the Blue Mountains, then home - I don't think I can face another plane to Melbourne but have a great time with your friend.

LesleyKnope Thu 15-Aug-13 04:29:59

Wonderful news caip - will keep fingers & toes crossed for you. This thread is long overdue some happy news & smooth sailing. Keep us posted.

Notnow - how's your trip going? Sounds like you're doing some great stuff! Sorry I'll miss you but keep me posted on your adventures.

We've got first c

LesleyKnope Thu 15-Aug-13 04:32:26

Grr... Damn phone! Counselling session tmrw - it's been 2 weeks with pretty much no contact. Incredibly nervous. Will let you know how it goes & will be inviting advice and comment from you all! X

FabiOne Mon 02-Sep-13 07:08:19

New thread is here

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