Advanced search

mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

(1000 Posts)
CaipirinhasAllRound Fri 13-Jan-12 18:51:14

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

FriendofDorothy Thu 01-Mar-12 17:55:26

I don't think I am that interesting.

My Dad's favourite embarrassing story of me (which he brought up in his speech at our wedding!) was when I was bout 7 and they asked me to make a pot of tea. So, I trundled off to the kitchen, put the teabags in the kettle and brought the kettle, milk and tea-cups through. I was promptly asked where the teapot was and whether the tea-cosy would fit the kettle. My Dad took the piss for years and I think I have been scarred for life.

In other news. I am 36. The Mister is 31. We have been TTC for 18 months without a single sniff of a BFP. Moved to Guernsey last Summer which means we don't have any NHS so have had to wait for specialist referrals. It also means that if we need IVF we would have to pay privately so I suspect we would have to give up any hope of having a child as the cost would be prohibitive. I am booked in for dye checks on my tubes in a couple of weeks to see if there are any blockages.

Why does trying to get pregnant have to be so bloody medical when it should be so wonderful!

FriendofDorothy Fri 02-Mar-12 23:27:45

OH dear. I think I broke the thread!

TheOutlawLauraPalmer Fri 02-Mar-12 23:53:54

You mean Fred? He just stepped out for a smoke. wink

<waves at the ShitBoat while standing on ShitShore>

Can't even bother to go too deep into my story as we've stopped ttc for now (sad) but...I'm 38 (as is DP); two mcs - July and November; my favourite colour is crimson red (just like my favourite colour of wine); and I crave spicy Vietnamese about every day of the week.

You probably won't see me around much as it feels a little like I'm cheating on the loverly BESH since we're 'on a break', but I do like a good lurk and if you're offering gin I just might stay awhile...

<trots off to spy on RELATIONSHIPS>

TheOutlawLauraPalmer Fri 02-Mar-12 23:54:40

<blows a very wet kiss to the beautiful DorDot>

notnowImreading Sat 03-Mar-12 00:12:00

'ello again, my leetle miserable chums! Right, embarrassing story: I have soooo many...
When I was at university, a very long time ago, I used to ride a big old cranky sit up and beg bicycle called Rocket. Rocket had a slightly wonky wheel and wasn't the easiest thing to ride at the best of times, so why I thought it would be a good idea to ride him in a ballgown and heels, I can't recall. Anyway, as I wobbled off the wrong way down a one way street, after narrowly avoiding a drunk-in-charge issue with some (very handsome) coppers by relying on my 'charms', I wobbled gracefully onto a pavement and ran over a man coming out of the back door of the theatre. It turned out to be Samuel West, Prunella Scales' son, who was quite famous at that point after Howards End. He shook his fist and called me a 'silly bitch', which I promptly thought in my drunken state meant that he was flirting. I started with my 'charms' again, saying mysterious and alluring things like 'you're that Samuel West, my mum fancies you'. He ran away. blush

I also fall down in public a lot, due to general clumsiness rather than drunkenness these days, so many more embarrassing moments on a week by week basis.

CaipirinhasAllRound Tue 20-Mar-12 10:34:40

How is everyone doing? Any news?
We have our 3rd appt with the consultant on Friday and I've had a scan and blood test since the last appt so will be interesting to see what they say. I'm determined to come out with a drug or some sort of some action this time as this is seriously doing my head in!

I'm feeling a right grump which is a sure sign AF is coming in the next couple of days - crap as I'm still only on day 22 and so that means another short cycle.

And man am I bored of having to have so much sex!!!

FriendofDorothy Tue 20-Mar-12 12:55:25

No news other than I had a hycosy last week and they put me straight on Clomid. Waiting for another internal scan (lovely) this week to see what's occurring.

All this shagging is unbelievably tedious at times!

missbrightside Tue 20-Mar-12 14:55:29

Hello ladies. Hope you are all well.

I typed a post for this thread a couple of weeks ago on teeny tiny blackberry keys and the bl**dy thing got lost ! Was in far too bad a mood to re-type it .... !

Anyhow, glad that things are moving on for some of you. It is a slow slow process (or maybe I am just getting very impatient in my old age).

It looks like we are definitely going down the IVF route given that nature doesn't seem to have been kind in the meantime. We went for a presentation/tour of the clinic last week - and are now waiting for an appointment date with the consultant to discuss a treatment plan.

Another one tired (literally !) of shagging. Can't believe that once we actually used to do it for fun hmm I do worry that I've started to associate shagging with feeling rather fed up ..... hmm

I have been slack to update on here (sometimes I try and limit my obsessive internet use !) but I do very much like hearing how people are getting on. I only seem to know VERY FERTILE people in real life so other than my partner it's hard to find anyone to talk to. It was actually quite nice to go to the fertility clinic the other evening as although we didn't speak to any of the other couples (shame - as everyone was in the same boat - but the format of the evening didn't give you an opportunity to) it reassured me that we certainly weren't the only 'ordinary' couple going through this (which I obviously knew - but this just confirmed it !!!)


eurochick Thu 22-Mar-12 11:06:07

I know what you mean. I glanced around the waiting room at my IVF clinic and was pleased to see that everyone looked "normal" and fit and healthy.

missbrightside Thu 22-Mar-12 15:24:13

My thoughts exactly ! Not like the heards of unfit and unhealthy looking people walking around with prams ...... !! Hmmm <bitter and twisted emocion>

Caipirinhas - Hope your appointment tomorrow goes well.

Just had a call from the fertility clinic to book us in for a baseline scan (in a couple of weeks) and then a consultation and nurses appointment (at the beginning of May) so feeling a bit happier today that things are moving on a step.


CaipirinhasAllRound Fri 23-Mar-12 12:28:11

Hi All

Consultant appt went well and I now have Clomid to take for 3 months
I had bloods done last week which showed I hadn't ovulated

Just made myself laugh as I'm a couple of days late at the moment (thought I was coming on a few days ago as I was having a strop, turned out I was just in a foul mood!) and so started thinking just maybe it could have happened, then remembered I've just been told I didn't ovulate!

have a fun weekend

notnowImreading Fri 23-Mar-12 18:18:49

That's great news. Do you have any tips on how I could get referred to the consultant? Every time I go to my GP he tells me that I'm not unusual and I should try to relax angry. I missed the referral for infertility because I got pregnant for about 5 minutes in my twelfth month of trying with ov tests (he said it didn't count that I'd been off the pill for four months before that as we 'weren't trying properly'). Now I can't have any investigations until it's been twelve months from my last pregnancy or I have another miscarriage. Grrrr. I really think that miscarried pregnancies shouldn't be counted against you and push you back down the list. It's adding insult to injury. I think we are going to have to find the cash to go private from somewhere.

notnowImreading Fri 23-Mar-12 18:28:52

What does clomid actually do? I've always wondered but didn't ask. I'm really glad you're getting sorted and will keep my fingers crossed for you.

CaipirinhasAllRound Fri 23-Mar-12 21:55:16

Notnow - hmmm not very helpful advice form the GP. We were referred to the consultant after nearly 2 years of trying without a sniff of pregnancy. Agree that it doesn't seem fair at all that you're viewed differently if you had a miscarriage

I think Clomid is like a milder version of the drugs you get put on when you do IVF so it makes you produce more eggs, but with the IVF drugs he said you might produce 1000! One of the side effects of clomid is greater chance of multiple births. I have to take it for a month then have my bloods done again to see if it's showing that I ovulated or not. If not the dosage will go up

will keep you posted. Good luck to you too

notnowImreading Sat 24-Mar-12 10:26:57

Thanks Caipirinhas. Hope it works for you ... hmmm....twins ....

missbrightside Tue 27-Mar-12 09:36:54

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Is your Doctor correct Notnow ? I'm sure you already have done but I would check the NICE Guidelines/Guidelines for your PCT. Certainly in my area a referral should be made after 6 months if you are over 35. I don't think it can be correct that a misscarriage 'starts the clock again' (otherwise I would have had the same problem).

I really do think that some GP's are next to useless (or certainly in my surgery they are !). I'd definitely be going to see another one at your surgery if that's a possibility and would TELL them that I wanted a referral. Then again, you are probably less bossy much nicer than me !

notnowImreading Tue 27-Mar-12 18:52:29

Well, I'm ovulating today and on a promise tonight, so if we do some good work over the next few days and still not pg in two weeks, I will do just that. I've been thinking about it a lot and getting cross, just a bit feeble, you know? I'm so fed up it's taken away some of my usual chutzpah.

missbrightside Tue 27-Mar-12 22:24:48

Oh, don't worry. I know how it wears you down. But I (as I'm sure you will too) always feel far more optimistic about things each time I have an appointment somewhere. Makes me feel like I'm doing something and am gaining a (little bit) of control over the situation.

Enjoy your week of passion wink


CaipirinhasAllRound Mon 09-Apr-12 16:36:13

has anyone got any news?

I'm having a blood test on Friday to check whether I ovulated this month after being on clomid for the first time. I peed on a stick last week (to try and get out of having sex as was knackered blush) and got a smiley face so I'm hopeful I've at least ovulated. Trying not to think about whether it could have helped me get pregnant....

my bridesmaid dress for my friend's wedding is now ordered so fingers cross sod's law will kick in very soon!

FriendofDorothy Mon 09-Apr-12 17:53:37

I have news. Had one month of Clomid and got a BFP today. I am still in shock!

missbrightside Mon 09-Apr-12 18:42:34

Oh Dorothy that is lovely news. Congratulations to you. What a lovely Easter Surprise on this cold and wet bank holiday (or at least it is here !) smile I am always genuinely pleased when I see a BFP announcement on here from someone who has 'waited longer' as it is just that little bit more special and gives hope to those still waiting.

I will be keeping my fingers crossed Caipirinhas that Clomid is successful for you too. I think that a smiley face sounds very positive that you ovulated. I like the reverse psychology with the dress ! Hopefully it is also really really tight around the stomach area - has a tiny tiny waist etc etc. Couldn't possibly be altered .... !

Unless we get a BFP next weekend (and I'm not holding my breath ... !) then we (should) be starting IVF next cycle. Still can't quite believe that we are going down this route (I'm not sure I ever will to be honest) but just want to get going with it now. I have to have an internal scan next week at the fertility clinic which has to be done between CD 2 - 5. Hmmm hmm All dignity has now gone out the window ... !

Had another pregnancy announcement this weekend (it's their second - they started trying for number 1 at the same time as us ... !) so have been sulking in sorting out the spare room all day. It really was full of clutter. Obviously all needs to go for when it is transformed into a lovely nursery (positive mental attitude and all that !!!)

Anyhow, hope everyone is well and enjoyed the easter break. Not now Hope that if you are not celebrating good news that you have booked an appointment with a new GP <puts on bossy hat and starts telling people what to do>


CareBear1 Mon 09-Apr-12 19:02:19

Hi Miss Brightside just a quick message to say totally sympathise re the 2nd pregnancy announcement. Those kind of milestones really bring home how long its been and makes me feel sooo left behind, it sucks. Someone who got married just after me is about to give birth to her 3rd i kid you not. Hope you get your bfp and we don't end up clinic buddies! x

missbrightside Mon 09-Apr-12 22:34:58

Hello Carebear Hope you are well. 3 is just plain greedy envy

As much as I would love an ironic last minute BFP I'm really not expecting one ... !

Good luck in advance with your immune testing. Having read up a bit more about the consultant I'm seeing at the Agora he appears to have been involved in an immune programme at CARE - so will discuss my concerns with him when I see him on 1 May before I start booking appointments with someone else. Dr Beer's book did, however, land on my doormat over Easter so will make sure I read that before I go off on one see him ! If things have to be delayed then so be it ....... !


CaipirinhasAllRound Tue 10-Apr-12 18:25:34

Dorothy that's fab news! Really happy for you. Fingers crossed Clomidd has the desired effect with me too...

MissBrightSide I know exactly what you mean re IVF. It's always seemed like a really last option and knowing it could be a reality soon is odd.

Re people with children, my DH keeps joking about multiple births and clomid and that we would be able to trump and overtake our 1 baby friends if we had twins! I'll see your baby and raise you 1 baby! grin

CaipirinhasAllRound Sun 15-Apr-12 09:02:39

I'm going to my school friend's baby's christening today....
Despite finding christenings utterly boring I'm bracing myself for being asked umpteen times about us TTC.
I got a bit excited when we first started trying and told some of my friends, not realising we'd still be trying 2 and a half years later. I don't see them often so they'll be after updates

I randomly POAD on Friday (day 20) as I was having ovulation signs and I got a positive which means I had one on day 9 and again on day 20....
My cycle is normally only about 24 days so I'd be really surprised if I was ovulating on day 20 unless clomid has thrown my normal cycle completely off
I bought a PG test and it was negative so now just waiting to get my blood results on Wednesday and see is AF arrives..

hope you're all ok

This thread is not accepting new messages.