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Not too sure if I should worry (waiting ttc)

(5 Posts)
Beaverfeaver Fri 14-Oct-11 02:33:18

Long time lurked and 1st time poster.

Me and H2B are getting married next summer.

We have been together a lOng time but are still only mid 20's.

I have never felt very broody, but always knew that one day I would want children.
I'm starting to think that its not going to be long before I do want to start trying and that after the wedding would be a good time.

H2B has also always said that he wants children eventually.

I mentioned to him the other day that it had darted coming to mind and that I don't want to be waiting until I am 30 (which is what I think he is thinking).

His reaction wasn't bad but equally not positive as he wants to travel and possibly live in another country for a bit before we do have them.

But I am thinking that we could be waiting for years to start a family if this is the case as we will be 26/27 when we get married and then it could take years to fulfil all of his desires.

I am always quite happy for him to do what he needs to do to be happy, but very aware that he doesn't make life decisions quickly at all.

Is there a better way of me starting this conversation with him, as I feel uncomfortable talking about it of the reaction isn't good, or do I wait and see if things just pan out ?

Beaverfeaver Fri 14-Oct-11 03:18:05

Some additional info :

I am aware that my mum had trouble conceiving at first and that it took about 4 years or so (she started trying when she was 24).

This is the main thing that makes me worried about waiting a few years after the wedding to start.

I think it's playing on my mind a bit at the moment as I just can't sleep

louby86 Fri 14-Oct-11 03:30:21

I was in a similar position to you with my husband before we got married. We both agreed on waiting until we were nearly 30 to try after making our own memories together and having lots of very nice holidays. In the back of my mind I knew my mum struggled both times getting pregnant with myself and my younger brother but I just tried to forget about it. I'd say that it was getting married that changed all that though. After a fantastic honeymoon and talking to my husband about my worries after we got home we both agreed we wanted one more really special holiday and then we'd try for a baby and here I am 15 months after getting married I'm 25 and 5 months pregnant. I never really had a conversation with my husband about it before the wedding because I didn't want to feel like I was putting him under pressure, it just seemed to come naturally after the wedding. Good luck and don't worry yourself too much about planning for it all. Congratulations on your wedding too!

louby86 Fri 14-Oct-11 03:31:19

Sorry just realised I posted on both your threads blush Too sleepy to notice!

lthewife Fri 14-Oct-11 11:26:38

I was in a similar situation before getting married too. Lots of history of gynae problems on mums side of the family but in my case DH didn't want kids at all. Of course I knew this before I married him, but I was of the opinion that although kids would be great we could still lead a happy life without them. It didn't stop it from playing on my mind every now and then though!

A few months after getting married I casually asked DH if he was still of the 'no kids' persuasion and was shocked to find out he'd changed his mind. So now we're just waiting u til we've moved to a family friendly house before we start TTC.

So hang in there, Beaver. Sometimes it would seem marriage flicks a switch in men's brains and it all starts falling in to place. In the meantime why not join us over on the waiting thread

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