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Any tips for getting pregnant at 40

(18 Posts)
lovethislife Sat 08-Oct-11 01:39:07

I'm hopeful that I have put this in the right place.

I am still bfing my nearly 2 year old. 2 x a day - morning and night, sometimes more.

I am 40.5 years old. I could lose a stone in weight but I do run, I don't smoke and am generally healthy.

I really really really want to have another baby so am now trying for that. I tried last month to no avail. I got pregnant quickly the first time round within the first month or two of trying.

I was wondering should I stop bfing? I think I will find it hard because my toddler does seem to love it still and asks very sweetly to BF in the morning and evening.

I am really worried that I have left it too late to have another.

I do have regular periods - they are like clockwork and came back when my baby was 6 months old.

I guess I was wondering if there was any good news pregnancy post 40 stories.

I googled my age and am now flipping out about all this information about fertility dramatically reducing post 40.

I tried getting pregnant last month - I also think I will use one of those ovulation kits.

Has anyone heard of the egg meet sperm method - is that worth trying?

Sorry if this post seems a bit all over the place but I never ever thought about fertility before and now I have all these questions and it is keeping me up at night.


moonwalk Sat 08-Oct-11 07:44:47

you could start charting your cycle, there's a good book "taking charge of your fertility" which explains how to get serious about this.

i had to completely wean my firstborn at 15 months when ttc for the second, because i didn't even have periods while breastfeeding. i think night weaning already helps some women ovulate. but maybe you are one of the lucky ones who ovulates while breastfeeding.

i think the fact that you conceived your child quickly at 38 is a good sign, so maybe don't consult with dr. google so much :-)

good luck

fluffythevampirestabber Sat 08-Oct-11 07:51:50



grin wink

Bubbaluv Sat 08-Oct-11 08:01:41

Ha Ha FLuffy!

Shag lots when you're 40 to be more specific! grin

ninedragons Sat 08-Oct-11 08:03:50

You might try finding a fertility acupuncturist. And relax. 40 is not 25 in fertility terms, but nor is it 48.

lovethislife Sat 08-Oct-11 11:37:35

Thanks all - I will take on the advice and let you all know how I get on.


pixiewitch Sat 08-Oct-11 12:12:41

I am (just) over 40 & just got a bfp. I don't have any children.

I used the poas ovulation predictor sticks & kept a record of cycles, temperture etc ...

Although unfortuanatley I had a m/c in April (after a bfp in Jan).

It took about 5 months to concieve after the m/c.

Sorry I don't know about b/f & trying to conceive, but have heard some very good things about accupuncture.

Good luck.


10000fireflies Sat 08-Oct-11 12:14:37

Lovethislife - Suspect you can't conceive while Bfing, but I could be wrong. The ov predictors are good, but you need to do your SWI before you ovulate - there are some posts on our latest thread and info about 'Instead cups' you might find interesting. Have a look at: - is currently full, but crammed with useful info so worth a read. I've started a new one, but not sure if the others have found it yet, so a new one might also start in parallel. Why don't you could come and join us? I'll paste the new thread when it's established.

lovethislife Sat 08-Oct-11 14:02:28

Thanks for your post Pixiewitch and hope everything goes well for you. smile smile

Fireflies - Thank you too - what is SWI? Tbh I don't get the terminology at all and I have tried googling. Well I'll try reduce the bfing at the end of this month!
I will check out the thread and the new one - Thank you!

pixiewitch Sat 08-Oct-11 14:07:38

swi = shagging with intent !
there is a page dedicated to the m/s acronyms at the top. it took me ages to get my head around them... here's a link:

good luck with everything smile

lovethislife Sat 08-Oct-11 14:15:24

Thank you so much pixiewitch that explains it grin and the link explains the others. Best of luck with everything too!

I really appreciate the response and that everyone has been so damm nice with it.

I didn't want to hear that I am too old so here is to hope and hopefully babies.

pixiewitch Sat 08-Oct-11 15:04:05

hi lovethislife.
I've found that 99% of people on m/n to be lovely & I've had so much fantastic support on various threads.

You're not too old & good luck with the weaning of b/f, ttc (trying to conceive) etc ...

Any questions I'd be happy to help if I can.


FlipFantasia Sat 08-Oct-11 19:11:21

Just on the BFing front, if you're ovulating regularly (sounds like you are because of the regular periods though temp charting or ovulation sticks should help confirm) then BFing has no impact in terms of getting pregnant. AFAIK BFing only impacts on fertility when you're not ovulating. If you and your DC are still happy with the BF then no need to wean. I'm 16+1 and still BFing my 18 month old at least once a day.

I think there's even a ttc while BFing thread on this conception board and there's also a BFing while pregnant thread in the feeding section if you fancy reading about others' experiences.

Another fan of the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Also the website Fertility Friend has great info about fertility awareness and temping to help check for when you're ovulating.

Good luck! Hope you get your BFP quickly smile

Coconutfeet Sun 09-Oct-11 08:46:58

I think breasfeeding affects different people differently. I had my ds at 40 and bf him until nearly 2. Despite having really regular periods I just couldn't get pregnant. I reluctantly gave up (which actually ds was fine about) and fell pregnant the following month. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage and several more quite close together after that. Investigations have discovered that i've got various issues that have caused these which are now being treated but the bfing seems to have been a factor for me. Good luck!

lovethislife Mon 10-Oct-11 22:07:41

Thank you FlipFantasic. Yes I have very regular periods always have.

Thank you also Coconutfleet I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages but hope the treatment is going ok.

I'm not BFing that much now, altlhough when I have tried to not feed I have always given in as my toddler is very consistent - so maybe I will see how it goes for a month or 2 on the BFP front and then cut back on the BFing if I need to. I would love a baby around the Olympics!!!

IslandIsla Tue 11-Oct-11 23:02:20

You may be ovulating regularly but BF hormones can affect your fertility even so (see Kellymom for details of the transition to full fertility when breastfeeding). For example, you may ovulate but may have a shorter luteal phase when BFing so implantation is more difficult. As Coconut says it affects each woman differently. Many women do get pregnant while Bfing (I know many who have!) - but some can't. When conceiving no.2 did have after 6 months, I weaned my DD at 2.4 yrs and got pregnant the month we finished feeding - may have been coincidence, but while Bfing I had very heavy periods and as I reduced the number of feeds AF got lighter and back to my previous 'normal' and I do believe BF was affecting my fertility.
However if you've just tried one month, this isn't enough to say whether BF is affecting you.
I found it a difficult decision as my DD and I had a lovely breastfeeding relationship and weaning was no guarantee at all that I would conceive. When I did decide to, I weaned slowly over a period of several months, and at the end it felt like the right time.
I think your plan is probably a good one to give it a bit more time. Good luck!

lovethislife Fri 14-Oct-11 00:23:27

Thanks IslandIsla - I am finding this whole experience so different. I didn't even think about my fertility first time around and can't believe how worrying it all can be - having to be just a little bit scientific about it all has really impressed on me how tough others must have it.

I know I am going to go absolutely mad during the 2 week wait period.

I am already stocking up on pregnancy tests and all that stuff.

Coconutfeet Fri 14-Oct-11 09:15:24

Thank you for your good wishes lovethislife. I'm actually 10 weeks pregnant now, so the treatment seems to have worked so far! Also, I'm going to be...ahem...44 next week so it's definitely possible, even when you're an old bird like me.

Islandisla is right, it's too soon to know whether it's affecting you just yet so maybe it's worth giving it a few months and seeing how you get on. Hopefully you won't even need to stop. I did have a shorter luteal phase while bfing and found that it gradually went back to normal once I'd stopped.

I hope it works quickly for you!

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