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Book ideas to help me come to terms with stopping TTC

(8 Posts)
hippychick66 Thu 29-Sep-11 11:20:45

I've been trying to have a third child for over 2 years now. I am VERY lucky and I already have 2 wonderful sons aged - 8 & 11. We just felt that we really wanted a last little one but I know that really we left it to late to make that decision.

I was nearly 43 when we decided to try for our last little one and here I am now - 2 MCs later and aged a bloody ancient 45.

It's been 15 months since my last MC and deep down I know it's over, i know it's just not gonna happen for us.

But i still keep trying and hoping despite the stupid statistics of conception and MC at my age.

Does anyone know of any books which I could read that would help me to come to terms with the fact that I have to give up.

i have found many books about being childless and others about parenting 'only' children - but nothing about appreciating that you are lucky to have 2 but giving up on the last one.

Not deciding earlier to try for another baby will always be my biggest regret but i CAN NOT allow this need to continue to make me feel this way. I have to move on.

Any book titles would be gratefully received.

thanks

birdofthenorth Thu 29-Sep-11 11:32:30

I'm afraid I don't know the answer but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your situation -having two beautiful children does not mean you are not allowed to grieve for the third baby you craved

hippychick66 Thu 29-Sep-11 11:56:29

Thank you birdofthenorth. I know it's true what you say but I feel like a fraud compared to some people.

I just wanted to add - if anyone is going to recommend a book - i would prefer non religious book titles please. Ta. X

kat2504 Thu 29-Sep-11 12:34:48

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/When-the-trying-stops-T-Oct-10.pdf

This leaflet has a book recommendation at the end of it, hope it is helpful to you. If you look up that book on amazon similar titles might come up as I think that one is for people with no children.

I'm sorry you are in this position, it must be very hard to give up on an idea that you had your heart set on.

Italiangreyhound Sat 01-Oct-11 15:41:15

Hi hippy I tried Googling around a lot and came up with nothing!

I don't know if you would consider this as a viable option but why not write your own book! As you know I have been trying to conceive for 6 years (number 2) and I kept a sort of diary of my thoughts right from trying to conceive my first, our DD, back in 2002. I've saved a few bits of info and I'm trying to draw it together into a book. I am quite sure no one else would like to read it but for me it is therapeutic.

Just an idea.

LadyMaybe Sun 02-Oct-11 09:47:16

You could try looking for
Wanting another child: Harriet f Simons
The waiting womb: Jill sayre
I haven't read them but the reviews are quite good, I have read 'waiting for daisy' by Peggy orenstein, which I remember as being very good at describing the sense of loss - she does get pg in the end but she's an intelligent writer, you might find it interesting. I hope some of this is helpful hippy

hippychick66 Mon 03-Oct-11 13:00:13

Thanks to everyone for your recommendations. I will be googling about and looking those ideas up asap.

cheers grin

hippychick66 Mon 03-Oct-11 13:14:13

ladymaybe - I've ordered a second hand copy of both those books from a well known website (think jungle grin). Will let you know what i think of them once read. Ta. X

kat2504 - I will now have a look at your link. ta.

italian - i'm glad that writing about your experiences has helped you and i am indeed a keen writer. But I just feel on this occasion that i need someone to tell me to stop, breath and move on.

love to all
X

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