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Want to try for second child with a high needs first child, 9 months.

(4 Posts)
milkyjo Wed 28-Sep-11 13:39:59

Just asking if anybody has had experience of a short age gap between their children with their first being a very demanding child? A few months ago me and DH raised the issue that we would wait until DS is 3 years (9 months at the moment) before trying for another baby. However, we have now decided that we should start trying before DS is 18 months (just plucked out of thin air), and I'm starting to get broody already. I know there is no way of knowing exactly how DS will be at that age/ 2 years, as all children surely have tantrums, however if they are like the ones he has now, or even worse then I really will struggle being heavily pregnant or with a newborn. There are a few pros and cons we have gone through but the main one being if a new baby happens to have the same traits as DS, he hardly napped all day and screamed most of the time before 6 months, I really would end up as a puddle on the floor. I'm rather broody though and DH is making noises too about starting to try sooner.

thisisyesterday Wed 28-Sep-11 13:51:06

i did.
well, actually my demanding baby was my second, and we have a 19month age gap between him and ds3.

it has killed me.
if i was doing it again i would have bigger age gaps

Purplebuns Wed 28-Sep-11 14:09:02

DD turned a corner when she was about 14months in her high needs, (she started to sleep!) It has taken ages to have a sticky baby who will be arriving when dd is 2yrs 10 months. I think I might have died having a 2 year age gap (which was a pg I lost.) At 9 months your body releases hormones to get you pregnant again so bear that in mind.

milkyjo Wed 28-Sep-11 14:34:05

I've heard all the stories with small age gaps from people who's children are not high needs and most rave about it, apart from the exhaustion etc. It's good to have some perspective from those with high needs children. I have only just read a Dr Sears article on the web which describes my DS extremely accurately, in fact it could be a case study on him! For 9 months I thought I was just crap at coping with a baby! In fact I know someone who's baby will be 14 months when their newborn arrives and yet they complained about every little niggle with their first (who was not high needs)!

Purplebuns we are being very safe at the moment, not quite ready yet, or are we!!!!! Argggh I have to admit I do not like the broodiness! I take it that is the hormones making me broody?

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