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Those that have come out of the other side of conception struggles

(4 Posts)
BagofHolly Tue 13-Sep-11 20:36:53

...what advice would you give someone struggling?

munkiii Tue 13-Sep-11 21:02:49

Bumping for you...... so difficult, I know.

I had my miracle baby last year after 16 months of trying, a miscarriage and a referral to the fertility clinic. Am now back at square one, thinking about number 2 and already been told am not ovulating.

What would I say? I wish I could tell you (and that you would believe me!) that all will be well. But I know (as I did when others told me) that that feels like a million miles away from where you are now.

I would say explore every avenue, hassle your doctors/clinic if you have been referred. Try to take time with your partner to reconnect and remember WHY you are on this journey.

Have times with your friends that are about YOU and also have times where you are allowed to grieve for what is happening.

You are allowed to run the whole gauntlet of emotions, the good and the bad. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

Keep going, pick yourself up when you are knocked down- it will all be worth it.

So much more I would say but so difficult to put it down.

I really hope things turn around for you, am thinking of you.

BagofHolly Tue 13-Sep-11 22:04:34

That's a really lovely, lovely post Munkii. Thankyou.

I should explain better - I've had 2 rounds of ICSI, first time had DS aged 2, second go had twin boys now aged 8 months. We've been extraordinarily fortunate. I was 36 when we started this journey, and 38 when I had DS. In the process we discovered I had a load of immune issues which thankfully our clinic sorted out, otherwise we'd still be trying.

I'm very much of the view that you have to keep your eye on the prize and not get tied up in the processes, but I know that's not always the right approach for everyone, hence my post!

woowa Tue 13-Sep-11 22:09:26

Like you, we've had 2 icsi rounds, one child each time despite two embryos each time. I think you need to find a friend or friends you can trust to tell how you're feeling, who'll listen to you and not mind that it is all you can think and talk about. Lots of friends won't get it, some will think it's ok to share what you've shared (sadly). And some will think that it's not that big a deal and will get bored listening to you. A friend and an ability to talk to DH/P. That's what got us through. We are also christians and that was the biggest support, but that's not something that everybody wants.

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