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Do you ever get down when all around you are conceiving?

(11 Posts)
TigerseyeMum Sat 10-Sep-11 08:55:19

I am surrounded by up-duffed ladies at the moment. At work, at home, friends...

Does anyone else ever get fed up?

I started ttc a year ago (yes, I know that's not very long) after years of trying to manage endo, and a friend started 'trying' at the same time - she gave birth in the spring.

Another friend came off the pill earlier this year 'just to see' and is due to give birth in February.

A work colleague got married earlier this year and hey presto, she is due in December.

My neighbour accidentally got pregnant and is due any day now.

See a theme here? hmm It has been like this for the last year or two.

Meanwhile, I plod away. I am getting on a bit (38) and my endo is severe, so I know I am not great motherhood material. It just sometimes pees me off when yet another person texts saying 'Oooh, guess what....?'

Anyway, thought I would vent here because IRL people say 'Oh you are young you have plenty of time' and blah blah but on here I suppose at least other people understand.

As you were.

Surfchic Sat 10-Sep-11 08:58:32

Wishing you lots of luck me dear, when trying to conceive I had similar bombardment of bumps. The 45+ yo receptionist at work told me she was going through the menopause, then came in the next day and said she'd made a mistake, she was pregnant, oh come ON! Keep the faith xx

TigerseyeMum Sat 10-Sep-11 09:01:50

Thank you Surf. I am trying to remain smug and content that I can still go to pubs and wine bars and go out for the evening, because being still young and fancy-free we can enjoy life, yes?

<clutches at straws>

WishingIWasLucky Sat 10-Sep-11 09:02:16

Tigerseye: I can relate entirely! We have been ttc for just over two years. Had a miscarriage in march at 8.5 weeks. Nothing since. Cycles starting to get erratic. Feeling like we've been cheated. Hope our luck changes soon. When I hear of pregnancy, instead of wanting to congratulate; really want to say "go on then, give us dome tips!"! Losing all perspective now. Hope you get lucky soon too!

havealittlefaithbaby Sat 10-Sep-11 09:02:37

Do sharks poo in the sea? Yup, it's disheartening. The accidently ones are the worst. I read in a book when you're jealous of someone you should bless them instead. It helped me immensely. Helped me let go of my anger.

WishingIWasLucky Sat 10-Sep-11 09:04:32

I'm happy for the new pregnancies and the babies; just really peeved off with my body and karma for holding me back IYSWIM?

eurochick Sat 10-Sep-11 09:04:37

Yes, I think a lot of the lot term ttcers on here feel the same. There is solidarity on the 10 months+ thread if you want to speak to be people in a similar position.

Are you having investigations? You really should be if you have been trying a year and are 38 (6 months is the guideline time to see your GP if you are over 35).

maxylou Sat 10-Sep-11 09:06:27

Just wanted to add i had difficulties conceiving and had iui treatment, the second time resulted in ectopic and i decided i couldnt deal with the pain of ttc so decided to jst accept what life had in store for me and a year later concieved naturally. I found the hardest part was friends/ colleauges announcing their pregnancies so i totally understand your feelings OP

TigerseyeMum Sat 10-Sep-11 09:15:11

We are under the care of a specialist who said come back in 1 year if nothing has happened, we have not made an appointment yet because for a few months we stopped trying, so we need to 'get back in the saddle' hmm and try harder, then go and see them.

Or I try the 'sneaking up on it unawares' approach and stop trying and then, as maxylou suggests, voila!

My immediate neighbour is also pregnant, we can hear pretty much everything through the walls so shall have the pleasure of hearing baby cries through the night soon. That will either make me very jealous, or put me off completely!

eurochick Sat 10-Sep-11 11:09:24

Hmmm, personally in your position I would be pushing for a follow up. Being sent away for a year at 38 is madness. I'm not sure where you are but a lot of health authorities cut off NHS IVF at 39 so if you think that might be a route you could go down time is not really on your side. I understand that it is a very personal decision though and fertility investigations are not pleasant.

TigerseyeMum Sat 10-Sep-11 11:17:31

I won't be considering IVF, but I may need surgery for endo - but luckily so far it has not flared up yet. I think we wil give it a couple more months but to be honest we are not that good at 'keeping on' iyswim as I work shed loads of overtime and we in the process of moving house - neither of which is conducive to the old SWIing grin

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