why do our bodies have to be so cruel and complicated

[crazyh]

Dp and I have been ttc dc2 for 5 months now with no joy, I know in the grand scheme of things 5 months isnt all that long but it doesnt make it any easier when af shows up month after month.
Anyway this month I really thought we had done it, all symptoms pointing to pregnancy, sore veiny, heavy boobs, light headedness, stupid amounts of cm (sorry for tmi) and random stabbing/tugging pains in groin.
In the past 3 months i have gone from a 28-29 day cycle to a 24-25 day cycle, I am now on cd26 an have been holding off to poas untill tomorrow getting more and more excited/convinced that we had cracked it this month, and now I have started getting period cramps :(
So yep as the title says why do our bodies have to be so cruel, I just feel like mine is constantly playing tricks on me, I just wish there was a way to not feel so down/upset when af shows her ugly face every month.

[chihiro]

Ah a question which I don't think anyone can answer! One of the things I realised throughout 5+ years of fertility problems was that the symptoms of AF - sore boobs, cm, cramp pains, etc. etc, can be almost EXACTLY the same as the symptoms of early pregnancy (of course I didn't know this until I'd experienced the latter!) If you read too much into these symptoms the disappointment of AF will be all the more acute.

The only way I found to avoid the horrible hope/despair cycle (as I came to think of it!) was to find a sort of mental frame of mind where I was positive and hopeful, but did not let myself get carried away. Every time I found myself fantasising about holding my own baby, I would counter that with the thought 'hang on we're still only at the beginning of this journey - it could take a while yet'. Likewise when I found myself thinking the negative stuff like 'I'm going to die childless, etc. etc' then I would counter that with a positive thought - like I'm still young(ish), I have working ovaries and tubes, there's still time, etc, etc.

So chin up and have a hot chocolate, AF will get gone in a few days and you can get back to some serious TTCing and maybe next month will be the month you crack it! But don't get carried away ...

Hope this helps

[crazyh]

Thanks Chihiro, and sorry for the moaning lol, I just feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, noone that really gets its anyway, I obviously talk to dp about it but there's only so much he can take, most people just say to me relax and it will happen, easier said than done though isn't it.
I'm trying to stay positive, with dd to look after I cant let it control my every thought but as soon as I get a min to myself its all i think about, checkin dates, symptom checkers etc., I have resisted buying opk's or pre-seed or anything else people recommend so far as I know they will just make me obsess more as well as costing me a fortune, but I think after 5 months of trying I might give opk's a go, is there any particular make you could suggest
Thanks again crazyh :)

[Mama5isalive]

ohhhhh i know its hard but stay positive - i also think dont count being out just yet until you AF comes! it may not and then it will be another kind of stressing it doesnt stop!!!!!!
Fingers crossed for u( and others) BFP this month for u!

[chihiro]

Well no shortage of people on mumsnet with every level/variety of fertility probs so don't worry about sharing.

Not sure about OPKs - I think brands would be pretty similar - I think doctors aren't so keen on them for the very reason you state, because they make women obsess about ovulation and forget to just relax and have sex. Couldn't hurt to try them for a couple of months though if you want to.

Good luck and try to stay sane!

[crazyh]

Thanks for your kind words mama5isalive, I really really hoped this was my month, got a bfn this morning, although I'm not quite out yet, I'm on day 27 of a usual 24-25 day cycle,with no sign of af, and if I remember rightly I didnt actually get my bfp with dd till I was about 5 or 6 days late so if no af, by friday I will do another test.

If af gets me again I know I'm going to be upset, but like you have both said I will try and stay sane and positive and just have more fun trying next cycle, and probably invest in some opks just to make sure I am actually ovulating when I think I am.

Im not sure what position either of you in but goodluck if you are ttc, and thanks so much for replying just getting it out, and someone showing they understand has made me feel tonnes better about it all.