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Kicking 46 and broody as ever - any chance at all?

(14 Posts)
Sillybones Mon 22-Aug-11 21:26:10

That's it really.

Even if I got pregnant now, I'd be 46 when the baby was born.

Does anyone think that it's at all likely or possible?

From what I can tell, the chances of miscarriage would be 75%.

I have 3 children, had a mc last year (and two mc in between healthy babies as well), and have quite a few chronic healthy problems.

I know I should count my blessings but I also know I'm not alone in wanting this last one against the odds as I've been lurking on other threads here.

Are there ANY positive stories out there? Not IVF, not assisted in any way, just ancient old bags like me getting pregnant, staying pregnant, and having a healthy, live baby at the end of it as well as being healthy and alive themselves?

If I was reading this instead of writing it, I know what I'd be wanting to tell me!

MeconiumHappens Mon 22-Aug-11 22:33:06

Definately happens. Maybe make an appt to see an obstetrician, talk through the risks and decide how you would like to proceed. There are risks involved, but its all relative and very personal, particularly when chonic health conditions are involved.

Good luck smile

Sillybones Tue 23-Aug-11 07:53:48

Thanks for the reply - have spoken to an obstetrician who said that it's easier to get pregnant at this age than you might think, but that the outcome is rarely good.

I just thought that maybe some 'real' women rather than obs' figures could tell me what I really want to hear, but then again, that's daft isn't it, because the obstetrician sees the real ones, and he sees the outcomes?

He said that there were 2 women he had delivered over 45 in the past year, but had lost count of the number with miscarriages etc.

randomimposter Tue 23-Aug-11 08:57:32

Most (but not all) of the women I know in their mid40s who have had successful pregnancies have had assistance, most usually using donor eggs. BUT there are real honest naturally conceived babies born to women your age. You could be one of them, why not? Good luck x

rattie77 Tue 23-Aug-11 09:04:43

Hi, Just wanted to say it is possible. I became pregnant at 44 (unplanned) and was really worried about miscarriage, problems etc, but I was very lucky and had a good pregnancy and now have a beautiful DS who is nearly three. He is perfect, healthy, bright and loved to bits. I did end up having a C section as he was two weeks late and despite attempts to start me off, it wasn't happening. TBH though it was fine, much better than an emergency C section I had with my other DS years ago. I recovered quicker and was fully awake during the procedure. Hope it all goes well for you.

zebedeethezebra Tue 30-Aug-11 15:51:51

Very interested in this thread. I'm 45 in Jan and just having a mc right now. I'm wondering if its worth trying again. I always said this would be my last pregnancy but DP is still keen to try again. However I'm finding this mc so traumatic, I've probably put DP off.

I was a week before my 43rd birthday when I had DS and I would love another.

dottyaboutstripes Tue 30-Aug-11 15:56:15

A lady I know had a surprise baby at 45....no problems at all and even had a homebirth. I'm pushing 42 and have been ttc for 14m though with not even a sniff of a BFP.

I suppose it's not the kind of thing lots of people talk about though if they conceive and have a mc?? So who knows how many mid 40s ladies are getting pregnant..

Sillybones Sat 03-Sep-11 17:06:57

Exactly - my doctor said the figures were bad (75% mc rate), but they weren't necessarily accurate as in, the women who were getting pregnant at that age were often very aware of their fertility and so were reporting very early mc. If more 45+ though they could conceive and did, then, for all they know, the success rate might be different. Does that make sense? It doesn't seem that clear now I've typed it!

So sorry to hear of your loss zebedeethezebra - how are you now?

Coconutfeet Sat 03-Sep-11 17:47:33

My aunt had a baby at 47 (her third) with no complications. A work colleague was telling me yesterday about her friend who had her first baby at age 50, having thought is was the menopause, so it can happen.

The risk of miscarriage is high once you're in your 40s but some women do manage it. Good luck!

hairylights Sat 03-Sep-11 22:12:43

I know of a woman who had ababy at 46 and another woman at 48. Both natural conception. Both fine. It can happen.

hellymelly Sat 03-Sep-11 22:22:26

I had my second at 43, and now feel probably no chance of another at 47 (haven't tried) but my friend's Mum was 46 having her and we have another friend who is 46 and having her first this month.Good luck.my only tip would be see the best accupunturist you can afford,will increase your chances.

MrsHairyWhitemouse Sat 03-Sep-11 22:27:35

I come from a long line of women who've had babies into their 40s - my cousin had her first at 42, my gt grandmother had her 14th at 46 and numerous others including my own mother. However, the cut off seems to be 45/46 for us which fits with the national rate which drops off massively statistically. As you said, it's not getting pg but staying pg and all the emotional difficulties and pressures on a marriage that a m/c entails.

MiraNova Sat 03-Sep-11 22:33:51

My great grandmother had her first and only child aged 46 in 1913. So it certainly can and does happen.

Sillybones Thu 08-Sep-11 11:10:00

Thanks for the good stories - since I started this, I've had a chat with a friend who is 'in the business', so to speak, and she has no idea that I'm still broody. I feel that what she said to me was almost like getting the truth rather than speaking with someone who has to be careful, professionally.

She said that what she witnesses is women getting obsessed and not being able to give up their fertile years, while their partners sit there, wondering why this is going on, and their relationship is slipping away because of an obession with a baby which will never happen.

She says that women with a history of bad outcomes, and no live births, are different, but women who have had children often just can't accept that it's over and that they need to move away from the selfishness and chasing something something that will never happen.

She said - she's nicer than it sounds here! - that the medical professionals themselves get very cross at the wasting of resources, and would even prefer not to do booking in for women over 44 until they reach 12 weeks, because there is so little chance of it working out.

I can see what she means - and I think she's right. The outcomes are awful, and it does break up relationships. I need to just get over this, I feel, and stop being so daft. Time for being sensible!

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